An Accidental Hero (10 page)

“Sweetie,” Lamont was saying, “what’s wrong? You’re white as a bedsheet.”

“I’m fine. Just a little tired, maybe.”

“Why not go up to bed and take a nap, then, while I rustle us up something to eat.”

“Can’t. Doc says I’m not to use the stairs for a few days,” she muttered. “Need some iron tablets, too, and I can’t start my new job for at least a week.”

“New job?”

With everything that had happened, Cammi hadn’t found time to tell him about her new teaching position. “Puttman Elementary. Fourth grade,” she said dully. “I was supposed to start on Monday.”

“Well, I’m sure the principal will understand.”

No doubt he would. Mr. Garner had seemed like a nice enough fellow. Which wasn’t the point at all. Having something to do would help put the miscarriage to the back of her mind, would keep her occupied.

“I’ll scrounge up some bed linens,” Lamont said, standing. “You’ll sleep right here till your doctor gives you the green light.”

Cammi nodded.

“Mind telling me who it was that called me from the hospital?”

“As it turns out, he’s the guy I crashed into last night. I ran into him again in town, after my meeting with the Puttman principal, when…” She remembered Amanda, remembered losing her footing on the
corner, tumbling into the street, Reid’s big strong arms steadying her. “He was there when…”

“Good, you have his name and address, then. I need to thank him for getting you to the hospital safely, for staying with you till he knew I was on my way.”

Cammi knew a gift wouldn’t be necessary or expected, not with a man like Reid, and said so.

“Reid?”

“Reid Alexander. He used to be an award-winning rodeo cowboy, and now he works as the Rockin’ C foreman.”

Lamont put his back to her. “I know perfectly well who he is.” The hard edge to his voice told her Reid was indeed the boy who’d been driving that night.

As if he’d read her mind, Lamont said, “Besides, he’s a cowboy, and cowboys are trouble. I oughta know.” He looked over his shoulder. “When this accident mess is cleaned up, I want you to keep your distance from him.”

Hearing those words hurt.

“Trust me,” Lamont added. “I know what I’m talking about. Stay away from the likes of him.”

For a moment after he left the room, she asked herself what had happened to give him such a negative mind-set toward all cowboys. He had a few kinks in his armor, but self-righteousness and judgmentalism weren’t among them. Especially considering he himself had been a cowboy all his life!

Maybe Lily knew the answer to that question. And maybe Cammi’s little sister would gather up some old movies—comedies, preferably, and novels, too…books with plots that had nothing whatsoever to
do with love and marriage and babies. Because if she didn’t find something to occupy her mind while she recuperated, she’d end up feeling sorry for herself. And that was the last thing she wanted, or could afford, to do.

Weird the way the mind works, Cammi thought, because the mere mention of love and marriage and babies made her think of Reid.
Again.
He’d said he had to drive his boss to see a specialist about controlling Billy’s ALS. He’d probably be halfway home by now, hopefully with good news. Maybe after her nap, she’d give Reid a call, see how things turned out.

And maybe you won’t,
she thought.

Lily sat on the arm of the sofa and held out the phone. “Some guy wants to talk to you.”

“Mechanic, probably,” Cammi said, putting the receiver to her ear. She felt much better after her long nap. “Hello?”

“Cammi, hi. It’s Reid. Just thought I’d call to see how you were doing.”

She felt herself blush and tried to turn away so Lily wouldn’t see it. “I’m…I’m fine. And your boss? How’s he?”

There was a considerable pause before he said, “Not so hot.”

Another pause, then, “How ’bout I buy you a cup of coffee in town?”

“Sorry, I’m confined to quarters for the better part of a week. I’d invite you to come here, but…”

Before she had a chance to make up an excuse,
Reid interrupted with “Maybe some other time, then.”

“Maybe.”

“So, what did your doctor say?”

Cammi filled him in, spelling out the doctor’s orders while being careful not to mention the miscarriage; she hadn’t had a chance to fill Lily in yet.

“Wish I’d been there when Dr. Lucas told you about…you know, the uh…”

It touched her that he was having a hard time saying “miscarriage.” “I wish you’d been there, too.” He had no idea how much she’d wished it! But it was probably for the best that he’d left before the doctor showed up. Reid already had more than enough reason to avoid her without witnessing the blue funk she’d slipped into after hearing the news.

“Well, guess I’ll let you go. You need your rest.”

“Right.” A couple of days ago, she’d have said “I’ll pray for your boss.” Well, a lot of things were different now. “Good luck to your boss.”

“He’s been more like a father to me than a boss,” Reid said, “but I appreciate the sentiment, anyway.” And then he chuckled.

“What.”

“You surprised me, that’s all.”

“How?”

“I thought for sure you’d say something like ‘I’ll keep him in my prayers.”’

Cammi harrumphed. “Why would I do a silly thing like that? It isn’t like He hears anything I say, anyway.”

Silence. Then Reid said, “’Course He hears you, Cammi. Why would you say such a thing?”

“Because it’s true, that’s why.” She didn’t like the turn of the conversation. Didn’t like the angry feelings swirling in her gut…where her baby used to be. “Well, I appreciate your call,” she said, hoping he’d take the hint and hang up.

“No problem. Mind if I check in on you again soon?”

“It’s a free country.”
Get a grip, Cammi,
she told herself. It’s
God
you’re mad at, so why take it out on Reid?

“Get some rest,” he said again. “Talk to you later.”

She had barely hung up when Lily said, “Who was
that?
”

Cammi pretended to be engrossed in adjusting the hem of her pajama top. “The guy from the other night.”

Lily grinned. “Car Crash Cowboy, y’mean?”

“None other.”

“Care to explain why I didn’t hear any talk about insurance companies or mechanics or body shops?”

She was wiggling her eyebrows when Cammi looked up. Might as well get it over with, she thought. “Have a seat, kiddo,” she said, patting the cushion beside her. “I have a story to tell you.”

“Is this the one about the husband named Rusty who died in a convertible with his girlfriend?”

Cammi couldn’t believe her ears.

“Close your mouth, big sister. We don’t need a flycatcher.”

She snapped her teeth together. “There are no flies in Texas this time of year, anyway.” She slapped the
couch again. “Now, have a seat and tell me how you know so much.”

“Oh, let’s just say a little bird told me.”

Lamont wasn’t the type who would have told her, so—

“Stop trying so hard to figure it out.” Lily giggled. “I can almost see the smoke comin’ out of your ears!”

Cammi gasped, feigned shock. “You were
eavesdropping!
Shame on you, Lily!”

Her cheeks flushed. “No, I wasn’t,” she said. “At least, not at first. I was diddy-boppin’ down the hall when I heard voices. By the time I figured out who was talking…and about what…it was too late to backtrack. Sounded so serious, so important that I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Cammi sighed. “Well, it’s actually a relief. I didn’t relish having to repeat it all, anyway.”

Lily scooted closer, slung an arm over Cammi’s shoulder. “Sorry you had to go through that, sis. Honest. That Rusty was a bum. A no-good, low-down—”

“Wasn’t all his fault. I had a part in that mess, too, you know.”

“You didn’t cheat on your spouse. Worst thing you did was take the word of that stinking—”

“Lily, really…”

“Well,” she said, giving Cammi a sideways hug, “I can’t help it. For the past few hours I’ve been stewing over what that jerk did to you.” She balled up a fist and shook it in the air. “If he wasn’t already dead, I’d hunt him down and kill him myself!”

Cammi turned to face her. “Whoa. Are you sure
you’re my baby sister? The one who mothers orphaned calves and rescues critters that would otherwise become roadkill? The same sweet girl who nursed a hawk until it was well enough to fly away home? The gentle soul who cringes when Dad mashes a spider?”

“This is different,” she huffed. “We’re talkin’
family
here.” She jabbed a thumb into her chest. “Anybody messes with my kin whilst I’m around,” she said in her thickest Texas drawl, “has got Lily London to answer to!”

Cammi hugged her. “I love you, too, kiddo.”

“So what’s all this anti-God stuff? Never thought I’d see the day when Camelia London would blaspheme the Lord.”

“Wasn’t blasphemy,” Cammi defended. “I only said… I’m just sick to death of looking to heaven for help and getting nothing but dust in my eye.”

Lily blinked, swallowed and licked her lips. “Good grief, Cammi, what would Dad say if he heard you talking this way!”

“I have too much respect for him to talk this way in his presence.”

“Well, don’t you worry…I’m sure not gonna tell him. I like all my parts right where God put ’em, thank you!” She coughed. “Sorry for the
God
reference, what with you bein’
mad
at Him and all.”

“Yeah, I’m mad. Don’t I have a right to be? I wanted that baby, even if it did come by way of a low-down, no-good, stinking, cheating jerk! I prayed myself hoarse, trying to make the right decisions for our future. Why, I’ll bet there are calluses on my knees, I spent so much time praying for it to be
healthy, and happy, and well loved, and cared for, and everything else a baby deserves to be! And what did God do? Nothing, that’s what. So yeah, I’m mad. Good and mad. Because what have I ever done in my life that would make Him—”

“Cammi,” Lily said softly, “stop it. You’re supposed to be resting. You want the bleeding to start up again?”

She took a deep breath, let it out again. “No, of course not,” she said, shaking her head.

“You have to give yourself some time, Cammi. Time to let this all sink in. In a couple of days, you’re going to feel completely differently about everything. You’ll feel—”

“No, I won’t. I’ll feel exactly the same in a couple of days, in a couple of months. I’ll feel that God let me down, is what I’ll feel! I’ll feel that way because it’s true. I wanted this baby, wanted it so very much. And oh, Lily, it breaks my heart that He took it. I miss it, miss it so….”

Until a tear splashed on the back of her hand, Cammi hadn’t realized she’d been crying.

Lily gathered her close, patting her back as she whispered, “Hush, now. It’s okay. I understand.”

But Cammi knew Lily didn’t understand. How could she, when she’d never carried a child inside her, never looked forward to feeding time and nursery rhymes and even diaper changing. She’d never planned a nursery, right down to which Mother Goose character would dominate the decorating theme, never held her breath as she anticipated feeling those first fluttering little kicks.

She hoped Lily would never know the fear that
wraps around a mother’s heart when the brutal cramping begins, or the terror that goes with seeing your life’s blood—and that of your unborn child—pouring out like water from a tap. Hopefully, Lily would never know the heartache of hearing the word
miscarriage.

Cammi cried until spent, feeling foolish and childish and weak-willed. Which made things all the worse, because she didn’t like behaving this way—especially not in front of her youngest sister. What kind of example was that!

She didn’t understand it, because she’d never been one to give in to tears, had always controlled her emotions, not the other way around. All her life, she’d looked down her nose at girls and women who got weepy when things didn’t go their way. After her mother’s death, when her dad fell apart before her eyes, Cammi vowed to be strong, to be in command of herself at all times. She owed him that much.

Were these tears a wake-up call? A lesson in humility from on high?
What do You hope to teach me, Lord,
she demanded silently,
that the poor choices and stupid decisions I’ve made all my life have been my own unique brand of boo-hooing?

Anger, she decided, was even more self-destructive than self-pity. She had to get hold of herself, right now, for her own sake as well as for Lily’s, for her father’s.

Cammi sat up and grabbed a tissue from the dispenser on the coffee table. Blotting her eyes, she said, “Sorry, Lily. Didn’t mean to fall apart like that.”

“Hey, everybody needs a good cry now and then. It’s human. Why else would God have given us…” Lily bit her lip.

“Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to share my views on You-Know-Who,” she said, aiming a thumb at the ceiling.

Lily got to her feet. “Time to feed Elmer the calf. Anything I can get you before I head out to the barn?”

Cammi shook her head. “Nah. I’ve got everything I need right here.” She smiled. “But thanks, kiddo. I love ya.”

Lily’s “love you, too” echoed in Cammi’s mind long after her sister left the room.

Funny, she thought, how this being angry with God seemed to invigorate her. She needed to think about that, figure out why—

The phone’s insistent ring interrupted her reverie. She lifted the receiver. “Hello?”

“Cammi. It’s me, Reid.”

“Again?” she teased.

“Yeah, I had to ask you…are you really okay? You sounded a little strange when I called before.”

“My sister was with me. I didn’t want her hearing about the—” She straightened her back and lifted her chin, determined not to wallow in self-pity “—miscarriage secondhand.” She laughed, a little too long and a little too hard, but what did she care? Reid had already formed his opinions about her—negative ones, no doubt. “Turns out she’d heard the whole story while standing in the hallway as I spelled it out for my dad.”

He didn’t say anything right away. When he did speak, Reid’s deep voice sounded concerned. “So, you’re okay, then?”