An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) (21 page)

He did not overlook the importance of that discovery.

He was willing to overlook Dawson’s impertinence because he was feeling so optimistic about life with Matilda.

Their tryst last night had given him hope that one day she might think of him warmly. However, he could not depend on that continuing. It was not often a lover of his enjoyed being spanked as frequently as he might wish to discipline them. He and Matilda had made a bargain that had suited them both then. Now, though, he was not certain he wanted to be rid of his wife.

He had never expected that complication.

There were many advantages to being married. Pleasure could be found at home if she remained willing, conversation was available when he liked and for as long as he liked just for a start. And even with the restrictions of their arrangement, the lack of physical release on his part, Matilda had made the experience of marriage not too painful.

And then there was Matilda herself. He no longer needed to make a mess for her to clean up as an excuse to see her whenever he wanted to. She was right there, beyond that door.

When he finished dressing, he sent Dawson away. Sex with Matilda was obviously out of the question, though he dreamed of being inside her one day. He shook his head. Best not to think too far beyond the present moment. Discipline and control were what he craved most and what Matilda allowed. More? He would be patient and let her behavior guide him.

He took a breath, caught the cold brass handle of the bedroom door, and then let himself inside. Matilda was sitting on the side of the bed, a faraway look in her eyes.

“Good morning, wife.”

“Husband,” she said, but her expression remained troubled.

“I trust you slept well.”

She nodded slowly enough that he was concerned. He crossed the room, cupped her face, and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “I couldn’t sleep and got up very early today. I watched the sun rise over London for the first time since my recovery. I hope I did not wake you when I left our bed.”

“You didn’t.” Her shoulders sagged a little. “I had wondered where you had gone. I don’t remember your coming to bed. I thought perhaps you had gone out to that place.”

“Never,” he assured her before he brushed his fingers across her warm cheeks. He didn’t want anyone else while he had Matilda. She must not realize how fixed his attentions had become. “Whenever I have gone there, it is to discipline, and you had already allowed me that. I had everything I needed last night with you.”

Her frown lifted and a hesitant smile turned up the corners of her beautiful lips. “I was not sure if I should dress myself or wait.”

“I’m here now to do that.” He caressed her neck and enjoyed the view down her nightgown. Her breasts jiggled as she moved, and her nipples hardened to points as he caressed her. He began to silently count backward from one hundred in an effort to curb his arousal. “I am on my way out shortly, and I hoped you might wish to accompany me.”

Her frown returned. “Where are you going?”

“I have a meeting with my man of business at ten in his offices, and then I have a second meeting in Mayfair to look at a house at one o’clock. In between, I thought you might like to do some shopping or perhaps visit my sisters for luncheon.”

She groaned. “More shopping? Captain, you have already spent too much on me.”

“That’s one.” He drew closer to her, warming to the idea of spanking her again and then spoiling her afterward. Something light in a pale shade of pink to accent her blushes would be just the thing. “If you believe that, then you will be surprised to learn I have not spent a tenth on you yet that is not already spent on my youngest sister for her come-out next year.”

Her eyes widened. “Surely not.”

He nodded. “I have seen the bills of sale for Evelyn, and it is far larger than your upkeep. Besides, is it not my privilege to pay your expenses for the next two years as part of our arrangement?”

“I suppose. But I already have more gowns than I can possibly wear.”

“Nonsense.” He glanced around. “We shall see what else I think you need today.”

Matilda leaned back from him, resting one hand on the bed so that her nightgown slid down, exposing her shoulder. “You are disturbingly opinionated about my wardrobe.”

“I am.” He liked knowing she wore what he chose, but that bold pose was causing him to thicken in his trousers beyond his ability to stop it. He would be counting all day at this rate. “That will not change. Matilda, you should understand your husband. I do have strong opinions about how a lady should look. I don’t agree that her assets”—he glanced down at her bustline—“should be on show for just anyone to admire. I prefer modesty in a woman’s attire in public. We may not be married for life, but I intend to protect you from any unwanted attention. Even my own.”

She smiled a little and gave a halfhearted laugh. Her gaze flickered downward, and then her eyes widened. She swallowed as she stared at his hips, or rather the bulge of his erection growing beyond his control between them. Her lips parted a little, and there wasn’t chance he could restrain his arousal when she stared at him like that.

“Matilda, look at my face.”

She glanced up quickly, though her eyes were wide. She licked her lips, swallowed, and then darted another look at his arousal. She sat up, and his breath caught as she drew near. What would she do? Ignore his condition or explore him?

He hoped the former since they had appointments to keep.

“So you sent those three gowns back to the modiste because they were immodest?” She clenched her hands in her lap and looked up into his eyes. “Evelyn was very enthusiastic about the design and colors.”

“Far too revealing. You must remember that a gentleman of greater height than you could have been granted a most extraordinary view of your cleavage that he would not have deserved.” He took in that same view but kept his hands back. Now was not the moment for indulgence, but he had always enjoyed the anticipation of touching the things he craved.

Matilda’s gaze flickered from his face and back to his arousal. “I liked how I looked in those gowns.”

His cock twitched. “So did I, which is why they went back.” He stroked his fingers over the exposed skin of her leg. “Far too tempting, like you appear now.”

Matilda glanced up at him, eyes wide, and then glanced down at her bare legs where he touched her. For a change she did not seek to cover herself. Her legs were slightly parted, revealing the softness of her inner thighs.

“I should get dressed,” she whispered.

“Indeed, but first a kiss to start the day, just to make sure I have this right.” He cupped her face and kissed her softly, moving his lips over hers in a gentle possession.

Matilda kissed him back after a moment. She was shy, very hesitant to touch him, so he ended the kiss with no regrets. But he was painfully aroused, as he had been last night by the time he’d left her in bed. Kissing Matilda made him long for more. For permanence, passion, and punishment as a regular part of his life. But he wanted a willing partner who knew all his vices. Someone who would enjoy those private moments, anticipate the next ones as much as he would.

Someone willing to be tied up, masked, and disciplined properly with an array of implements before being pleasured all night long.

He drew Matilda to her feet and without further discussion dressed her in a modest gown of sky blue even though he ached to run his hands along her arms and bind her with silk strips. He clenched his hands, forcing them to his sides. “Reticule, hat, gloves.”

Matilda spun around at his tone. “William, what have I done wrong?”

“Nothing at all. The fault is mine.” He went too fast, as usual. He took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I’ll be below in the little parlor. Do not make me wait long.”

He turned away quickly and hurried from her presence. He wanted Matilda to want him as he did her. He though he wanted her to stay beyond the time of their bargain. But was it possible to convince her that their marriage was the best thing that could have happened to either of them? Could he persuade her to explore every dark sin and vice he craved forever?

Sixteen

“W
hat is this place?” Matilda asked for the third time as William unlocked the front door and gestured her inside. The cold hit her first and then the emptiness of an abandoned country house. “Does anyone live here?”

She shivered when the front door groaned closed again as William shut them inside. His footfalls rang loudly as he led the way. “This could very well be home if my man of affairs is correct about the suitability of the space.”

“My home?”

“I suppose you could say that.”

She glanced up at the cobwebs drifting on the currents created by the opening of the door. It could take a long time to bring this place up to scratch. She almost rubbed her hands together at the challenge of so much work to occupy her time. “This might be a bit large just for me. I wanted to stay closer to the city.”

“It occurred to me that it would be a good time to invest in property. I have no faith that my involvement with the navy will suddenly increase, even if I were to pester the admiralty daily for a new command and ship. I have time to spare and am in need of a diversion. I have lived in my grandfather’s homes for ten years, but I will eventually need additional income to support a family. This will be my first investment.”

“You’ll move here?” The idea of William living so far from London seemed impossible. He had friends in London. Family. It had taken an hour by carriage just to reach this place.

“For now, and there will be others to manage.” He nodded and set his hand to the doorframe, smiling down at her, his expression unreadable. “After the separation, you will remain mistress here if the house pleases you. If not, you can choose another closer to town.”

She blushed and glanced away. He had said they would discuss the separation, but she had not expected the conversation today. Not after last night’s spanking, which she was ashamed to say she had thoroughly enjoyed, or after this morning’s flirting, which had appeared to arouse them both.

William had left her breathless and strangely happy both times. Especially the part after the spanking where he’d held her close to his chest. The tenderness after the punishment had been a revelation about him. She had not thought he wanted her affection, but he had proved otherwise. Matilda had been the first to pull away. She wished she’d not done so soon after. She would have liked to spend the night in his arms, but he had taken himself off and she’d fallen asleep alone.

She had missed him. She had missed his occasional snores and odd twitches.

Matilda took stock of the features of the property even as she was astounded by her own revelation. She did miss William when he was elsewhere. However, she was merely a temporary part of his life, just like this property would be the first of many conquests. Her life with him would come to a close very soon, and he would eventually have a real family.

His beautiful sisters had three firm contenders for their hand in marriage so far that she could tell. Victoria had charmed an aged duke, Audrey a gentleman of modest means, and Evelyn, even though she was not out in society yet, had charmed an entire horde of gentlemen as they called on her sisters. Her bargain with William could be over before long. “When we made our bargain, I hadn’t considered moving so far.”

“And you don’t have to if you don’t wish to. I have already enquired about a house in London that might suit you. It is one extra block farther away from my family than where we currently live. Close enough that you will not be removed from the friends you make in society in the coming months. Remember, you’re my wife until my sisters marry, and no matter how long that takes it is my intention that we stay friends.”

“I would like that too,” she whispered. The discussion of endings made her sad though. She glanced around, studying the raw space with fresh eyes. It needed a great deal of attention to make it a home, and making it suitable for William could be a good distraction from thinking about the future.

“For as long as we decide to remain married, I would have you comfortable, and I am also thinking beyond that too for my own life,” William said.

He moved away, drawing her attention to his body. A body she had seen very little of but had imagined when she was alone.

“This room should do for a drawing room,” he said, “and those rooms for a study and dining room.”

She moved slowly through the house in his wake, imagining it how William described. Soft reds and muted greens would make the house very pleasant. Not that she expected to have a say in the decoration if William moved into the space before their parting.

He moved on, opened two sets of doors, and stepped into a glass-walled room. “This space should be sufficient for your butterfly house.”

Her jaw dropped. “How did you know I like butterflies?”

“I’ve made it my business to discover everything I can about you since the day we met. You are fascinated by butterflies.” He smiled slowly, and the effort transformed his face. Her heart did a little leap and he leaned close. “You used to chase after them whenever you came on our picnics. Hands in the air, you’d leave us behind in an attempt to lure them to kiss your skin.”