An Ex to Grind in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 5) Paperback – September 4, 2014 (32 page)

They both started defending themselves at once, pointing food covered forks at each other, doing their best to shout louder than the other. I decided right there and then to start their punishment by grounding them at least until they were dead, maybe even through the end of time.

“That’s enough!” I interrupted, out-yelling both of them. “Go outside.” I needed a few moments to corral the hurt tearing through me at Doc’s response, a short breather before I could act rationally when it came to my bratty spawn. When they just looked at me, I barked, “Now!”

“But we’re not done,” Addy pointed at her half-full plate.

“Take your plates and go eat on the back porch.”

Addy stood and collected her food and silverware. “Do we still get to go to the wiener dog races later?” she asked as she backed through the screen door.

I picked up my coffee cup. “I don’t know.”

“You’re the one who stuck us with Doc yesterday,” Layne said as he followed her. He paused on the threshold, one blonde eyebrow raised in challenge. “Don’t be mad at us because he doesn’t want to marry you. Besides, I thought you said you were just really good friends.”

I set my coffee cup down and leveled my glare on him. “Doc is my boyfriend, Layne. Whether or not he wants to marry me is not even up for discussion at the moment.”

“We don’t need or want a dad.” His chin jutted. “We’ve lived this long without one and we’re doing just fine.” He slammed the door closed behind him.

I gaped at the door for a few seconds before turning to Aunt Zoe. “This is some fucked-up shit I’m in.”

She burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny,” I told her.

Several snorts of laughter were her response, which in turn made me start to giggle in spite of my current maelstrom.

When we stopped laughing, she swiped at the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t sleep well last night and that whole blow up caught me completely off guard.”

“You and me both.” I picked up a piece of bacon, not sure I was up to eating it now thanks to the angst churning in my gut. “I thought we were making some progress with those two accepting Doc. Now I’m thinking it’s only gotten worse.”

“I disagree. This is progress. They know Doc is in the picture and not going anywhere. They’re having to adjust is all, which is usually not an easy thing.”

I groaned and sat back, clutching my stomach. “Why on earth did they have to ask him about marrying me?”

“Because they love you. They’re afraid of losing you and at the same time they want some kind of affirmation from Doc that he’s not going to leave you … and them. Plus, in their heads, marriage is the next logical step. Keep in mind that they grew up watching Disney movies. They don’t know that sometimes you can love someone with everything you have and never get your happily ever after.”

I did a doubletake. “Are we talking about Doc or Reid?”

Her blue eyes flashed in pain. “There’s nothing to talk about when it comes to Reid.”

“Really? Because you’ve been playing that super sad Linda Ronstadt song over and over. What’s it called?
Long, Long Time
, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I heard it coming out from under your door last night when I was getting ready for bed.”

“This topic is off limits this morning.” She wrinkled her nose at me. “And you need to stop listening under my door.”

“Okay, okay. You want me to go eat outside, too?”

She spared me a small smile and returned to her breakfast.

I on the other hand returned to my wallow. “How do you know they weren’t trying to scare Doc off?”

“Did you mention anything in front of them about Doc’s aversion to marriage when it came to his ex-girlfriend?”

“No, only you know about that.” I might have told Natalie, too. I couldn’t remember.

“Then they have no clue that bringing up marriage would scare him, right?” At my nod, she continued. “Violet, they’re kids. They’re putting out feelers.”

“Do you think I should bring it up with Doc?”

Aunt Zoe shrugged. “How bad do you want to know why he said he wouldn’t marry you?”

I considered trying to play it cool and lie that I didn’t care.

She smirked at me. “Let me rephrase that. How awkward of a conversation do you want to have with Doc about marriage?”

I shuddered visibly at the thought. “Face-to-face rejection is not really my thing.”

“What is your thing?”

“I’m still figuring that out.” I tossed the uneaten piece of bacon onto my plate. “Apparently, it’s not getting married.”

Not that I wanted to rush down the aisle anytime soon, but having the option would be nice when it came to Doc.

Aunt Zoe scoffed. “You and me both, kiddo.”

Chapter Sixteen

Sunday, October 7th

Twenty-four hours later, I was still obsessing.

Never mind that I sat in Bighorn Billy’s Diner with Ray, Mona, and Ben while Jerry led our weekly meeting; or that I should be listening to my boss’s game plan for the next week since he’d mentioned something about me playing “point guard” with Dickie and Honey.

I stabbed at my salad with my fork, wondering why I gave such a damn that wedding bells weren’t in the future for Doc and me.

It wasn’t like I didn’t have bigger problems, what with Rex leaving multiple messages for me at work about going out to see more houses. His badgering wasn’t going unnoticed by Mona, who was asking a lot of questions now, wondering if Rex and I had met before he’d walked in our office looking for a Realtor.

Then there was Detective Hawke, who had tried to get a hold of me on my cell phone several times this morning. I doubted he appreciated being sent to voicemail call after call.

I shoved a forkful of salad in my mouth, chewing the hell out of it. Marriage was probably overrated anyway. And I surely didn’t need a man to make me feel more like a woman. Hell, I felt plenty female every month when my period came: cramps, hormone rages, and all.

I tried to focus on the good things happening in my life, like yesterday with my kids. We had made up after our spat and not only had shared lots of laughs at the wiener dog races, but they’d also gotten up early today and served me a breakfast of Pop Tarts, grapes, and orange juice in bed. And last night Doc had called, flirting and laughing with me as if he hadn’t told my kids he wasn’t going to marry me.

The salad tasted dry and stale. I grabbed the ranch dressing and coated the chopped leaves in my bowl and then some, making ranch dressing soup with a sprinkling of lettuce.

Who said I even wanted a husband? I’d been raising my kids on my own since they were born. Did I really want to put up with someone else coming into my home and directing me on how to lead my life? How to raise my kids? Layne was right on that level—we’d been fine for a long time on our own. If any man thought that I was going to cook him dinner each night or have his breakfast ready for him when he got up in the morning, he was in for an unhappy reality.

Shaking my head at the image of me in a June Cleaver apron, I snorted and plucked out a crouton floating in the ranch dressing. I may have fallen in love with Doc, the big bozo, but if no vows were exchanged it wouldn’t be the end of the world. We could still have fun under the sheets and enjoy each other’s company until it grew stale—like my salad.

I crunched on the crouton. So there was no reason to be obsessed with Doc’s matrimonial allergy. It was time to quit spinning my wheels in this stupid rut, shift into four-wheel drive, and get the heck …

“Violet?” Jerry’s voice penetrated my inner rant.

I looked up from fishing lettuce pieces from my soupy salad to find four pairs of eyes locked on me.

Shit, what had I missed. “Yeah?”

“What do you think of Ray’s suggestion?”

If it came from the mouth of that horse’s ass, I’d bet old man Harvey’s left nut that I was going to hate it. Or was it Harvey’s right nut? I shrugged. “I think we should discuss it more,” I said with as much absolute vagueness as I could muster.

Ray smirked. “I told you she wasn’t paying attention.”

I fantasized about jamming croutons up Ray’s nose.

“Did you even hear what we’ve been talking about for the last five minutes, Violet?” Jerry asked, frowning down at my bowl of ranch dressing.

“No.” My face warmed. “Sorry. I have some stuff going on at home that’s distracting me.”

“Ray suggested you take Dickie and Honey out to Willis Harvey’s ranch,” Ben supplied, winking in response to the
Thanks
I mouthed for helping me out while his uncle circled overhead with his sharp beak snapping.

Go to Harvey’s, huh? I glanced at Ray. What a friggin’ stupid-assed suggestion. I turned to Jerry with a polite smile. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Jerry’s big forehead got all crinkly. “Ray seems to think the excitement that’s gone on out at Mr. Harvey’s ranch would score us a three-pointer on the publicity factor. I think he may be onto something. Try to look at it from a marketing perspective, Violet.”

Ray played chicken with my glare, neither one of us looking away until Mona waved her hand between us.

I set my fork down. “Marketing-wise, I still think this is a bad idea.” At Jerry’s raised brows, I explained, “First, I’m not even sure that the police have removed all the barriers and crime scene tape from the property. Second, we’d be exploiting a poor old man who might not want negative attention.”

A guffaw came from the dick-weed across the table. “Come on, Blondie, who are you trying to fool? Old man Harvey would love to have his mug on television. He’d probably figure out some way to use his celebrity status to score some new action down at the Prairie Dog Palace.”

Ray pretty much nailed that one, but I wasn’t going to let him know it. I mocked a shocked expression, open mouth and all. “Really, Ray, that’s a bit crude for a work meeting.” I looked at Jerry. “Are you going to let him speak like that in front of Mona?”

Jerry pointed at Ray. “Knock off the inappropriate language at the lunch table, Ray.”

My nemesis cleared his throat, glancing at Mona. “Sorry about that, Red. I forgot where I was.”

“And don’t call me Blondie,” I added.

That earned me a curled lip but no apology.

Jerry sat back, pushing his cleared plate away. “Violet, why don’t you ask Mr. Harvey how he feels about entertaining some visitors from the television industry?”

Sighing, I caved to my boss with a nod.

“Mention that there’s a chance he’ll be on TV, that might make him more amenable,” Jerry added.

Harvey was going to eat this up. “Will do.”

Zoning in and out for the remainder of the meeting while fishing for lettuce, I piped up when prodded about the statuses of Jeff’s and Cooper’s houses. A nod was enough of a reply for Jerry when he asked if we were still waiting for the final paperwork on Cornelius’s hotel purchase.

My phone buzzed in my pocket several times during the meeting, but Jerry had made it clear a couple of weeks ago that cell phones were supposed to be muted and not answered during company meetings. If it was Detective Hawke calling for the umpteenth time, I didn’t want to talk to him anyway. Dealing with one pain-in-the-ass cop was bad enough, I didn’t need two law dogs nipping at my heels day and night.

When lunch finally wrapped up, I zipped out of there like Speedy Gonzales, wanting some fresh air and space to get my head back in the game. Big, puffy clouds floated overhead like cottony bundles of flotsam, letting the jet stream swirl them across the sky. A cool breeze made me button up my cable-knit sweater.

Enough with this Doc and marriage shit, I told myself. If he didn’t want to play house for the long term, that was fine and dandy. Aunt Zoe was a great role model—strong, independent, in charge of her own destiny.

I adjusted my collar. Although this whole deal with Reid seemed to have made her stumble a bit lately. My chest constricted thinking back on the way Reid had looked that night in the forest. Truth be told, I liked Reid and sort of wanted him to win her over, even if it meant she was no longer my role model for singledom, and my kids and I had to find a new home. With the commission from Cornelius’s purchase of the hotel, I’d be able to afford a deposit on an apartment up in Lead and several months’ rent until I had more sales.

Doc said he isn’t going to marry her, remember?
Layne’s voice replayed in my thoughts.

“So screw him,” I grumbled, climbing in the Picklemobile.

Actually, that was what had gotten me in trouble with Doc in the first place.

My cell phone buzzed as I pulled into my parking spot at Calamity Jane’s. Doc’s Camaro was gone, I noticed, shifting into park. He must be out at the client appointment he had told me about last night. Good. I could probably use a little more cartwheeling at my internal pep rally before I could resist kicking him in the shin.

I pulled out my phone as the Picklemobile let out her final sputter and bang, relieved to see the name on the screen.

“Hello, Cornelius.”

“Who is this?” he asked.

“You called me, who do you think I am?”

“This is intriguing. Let’s see, are you alive or dead?”

I pondered that for a moment. “On the inside or outside?”

“Inside. It’s common knowledge that all dead cells float to the surface and flake off, so your outside is in a constant state of death and decay.”

Gross! That wasn’t true, was it? “My blood is still red.”

“What about your heart?”

“It’s hard and thorny.”

“Ah ha! This must be Violet Parker then.”

“Now wait a second,” I said, not liking how his game had ended. “I was kidding around about my heart.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “That’s how I knew it was you, Violet. Now what do you need from me?”

“You’re the one who called me.”

“Did you not request me to set up a séance with you?”

“Are you back in town?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“Never mind,” I said, getting out of the Picklemobile. “What do I need to bring to the séance?”

“Elk.”

“A live one?” Since it was Cornelius, I thought I’d better make sure.