An Heir of Deception (5 page)

It was only at the distant click of the front door closing that Katie came to her side. “You were married and didn’t say a word of it to me? Not in one of the twenty letters you’ve written over the years might you have mentioned a husband…and a son?” From her tone, it was difficult for Charlotte to discern whether her sister was more angry than hurt, but she estimated—or rather hoped—it was the former as that emotion was easier to deal with.

Nicholas turned and looked up to view his aunt. He became wide-eyed and began frantically tugging on the hand Charlotte had rested on his shoulder. “Mama, she looks like you,” he exclaimed in a high voice.

With her eyes, Charlotte pleaded for her sister’s understanding and cooperation. The last thing she wanted was to have
this
particular conversation in front of her son, her maid, and anyone else whose interest was piqued by a salacious bit of gossip.

Katie acknowledged her silent request with a terse nod before doing just as Alex had done by going down on her haunches in front of her nephew.

“Do you remember when mama told you that I had a sister who looked like me? Well, this is your Aunt Katie. Now be a good boy and say hello,” Charlotte urged gently.

Tears gathered in her sister’s eyes as she stared at Nicholas in wonder, completely enraptured.

“Hullo, Aunt Katie,” he whispered, staring at her with the same sort of fixation.

Her sister’s fingers skimmed his pink cheeks and chin in feather light brushes. “Hello, Nicholas,” she said in a choked voice. “Would you mind terribly if I gave you a hug?”

Perhaps it was the familiarity of the face that eased Nicholas’s usual reticence with strangers, for he gave a shy nod of assent without seeking the assurance he’d sought from her when Alex had offered him his hand. Quickly he was enfolded in her sister’s arms, his own trapped at his sides like a toy soldier. Nonetheless, he permitted her to hug him for a very long time.

The next hour passed in a blur of activity. Katie enthused over her nephew as if he were the greatest archeological find of all time. She hugged and petted him as much as Nicholas would permit, which was considerable given her son too seemed enthralled at the living and breathing creature whose face was the mirror image of his mother’s.

Charlotte introduced Jillian to her sister. Relieved of her bonnet, the full glory of her maid’s beauty caused Katie to halt and stare. A discernible blush appeared beneath Jillian’s
café au lait
complexion. And Charlotte knew precisely what her sister was thinking; a servant that uncommonly pretty would be trouble in deuces and spades. But they would cope. They’d had to cope before.

Two footmen clad in liveries of the family colors, gold and green, were dispatched to collect their bags and trunks from the hackney. It was quickly determined that Nicholas would sleep in the nursery, and Jillian would sleep in the adjoining room until the children and their nanny returned. Charlotte would take her former bedchamber.

After they’d all eaten, Jillian insisted on putting a sleepy Nicholas down for his midafternoon nap. Charlotte dearly wished she could follow, but the look on her sister’s face told her an explanation would not wait. The moment of reckoning had arrived.

Jillian and Nicholas had barely departed the small salon before Katie marched her down the hall and into the morning room. She steered her past the piano and harp, and dragged her down onto the chintz settee to take a seat beside her.

“You left because of what we learned about our mother, did you not?” No preambles. Her sister gave a whole new meaning to tackling difficulties head on.

Charlotte took a deep, fortifying breath, for she had to be convincing above all else. “That may have played some part in my decision to leave, but it wasn’t the whole of it. I met someone two months prior to the wedding. We fell in love.” In order to accurately affect the look of a woman in love, she thought of Alex.

Katie’s jaw came unhinged, but soon shock gave way to disbelief. In the narrowing of her eyes, suspicion dawned clear and blue.

“I know it sounds extraordinary, does it not? I mean Alex had been the love of my life. But I realized what I felt for him was a blind devotion. A case of mad passion. Perhaps even the want of something I believed I could never have. I mean truly, Alex interested in me? I was not at all the kind of woman who could hold the attentions of a man like him for long. Peter—that was his name—was more…suited to me. ”

The disbelief faded from her sister’s eyes and the puzzlement returned.

Relieved at the progress she’d made, Charlotte pressed on. “In the end, although I cared deeply for Alex, a marriage between us would have been a mistake. But I should not have waited so long to tell him and should have had the courage to tell him to his face. For that I will always be more ashamed and sorry than you can ever imagine.”

“But how could you leave me? Have you any idea what we—what
I
—went through these past years without you? Without being able to even write to you? One-sided correspondence might suit your purposes but it didn’t mine.”

Upon her return to England, Charlotte had planned on telling her sister about the dowager’s letter. But with the woman gone, what good would it serve? Whose good would it serve? Katie had had a difficult enough time in Society.

“If you only knew how much I regret what I did. But it had to be that way. I knew if I told you of my plans, you would tell James. And if James knew, it was only a matter of time before Alex discovered. That wasn’t a risk I could take.”

“But even if Alex did discover you had fallen in love with someone else, it would not have been the end of the world. You didn’t have to run away.”

Charlotte couldn’t very well tell her it would indeed have been the end of the world as they all knew it. Alex would have seen right through her lies and gently coerced the truth from her. Following would have been a Rutherford family scandal that would have sent earthquake-like tremors through the
ton
, and made their illegitimate birth a trivial matter by comparison. And Alex’s titles would have been tarnished by his association with her. Everyone would have suffered. And then of course there was Nicholas….

“But why—”

“Katie darling,” Charlotte implored, taking her sister’s hand in hers. “No more questions on this subject for now. Please.”

“Forgive me if I assumed as your sister, your
twin
, I would receive more consideration.”

“Later, I will explain it all. Why I allowed so much time to pass. Why I didn’t tell you about Peter and Nicholas earlier. I promise I will.” Charlotte gave her sister’s hand a gentle squeeze. “But please, don’t press me on it now.”

Impatience and exasperation flashed in Katie’s eyes. A sure sign she would continue to press the issue. Surprisingly enough, instead of a relentless push for answers, a welcome silence pervaded the room.

“From your maid’s accent, I gather you’ve been residing in America?”

Charlotte gave a brief nod, relieved her sister had opted for a safer topic.

“James had investigators searching throughout the Continent but I don’t believe he ever thought to look there.” Katie spoke as if to herself. “Have you come to stay?” she then asked, her cerulean eyes anxious and hopeful.

A heavy sigh escaped Charlotte’s lips. That was a question she had yet to answer herself. She would like nothing better than to remain. The only person she would truly miss if she left America was Lucas, and he traveled to London on business often enough for them to remain in contact.

“I’m not certain.”

Katie opened her mouth, and then quickly snapped it shut.

“Katie, will you tell me about Alex?” Charlotte asked in an abrupt change of topic. The question had festered inside her for too many years. She
had
to know.

Her sister’s gaze sharpened just enough for Charlotte to don her mask and exclaim defensively, “What? I may not have married him, but I did care for him deeply. Naturally I care how he fared.”

After a pause, Katie’s features softened. “Well, to say your leaving hit him hard would be a vast understatement. He was like—well, like I’d never seen him before. Frankly, he turned into a man I never care to see again.”

A needlelike sting of pain accompanied every beat of Charlotte’s heart upon hearing those words. She’d wanted to know but now she wasn’t certain. But her insatiable need to fill the gaps of those years without him urged her to delve in true masochistic fashion.

“What did he do?”

Katie swallowed, momentarily looking down at their joined hands. “The truth isn’t pretty and may be difficult for you to hear. Are you sure you want to know?” she asked, looking Charlotte in the eye.

Charlotte held a breath and nodded, steeling herself for what was to come.

After a prolonged sigh, Katie began. “He was already at the church when James told him. He left soon after. Derek described him as catatonic. James was the one to inform the guests the wedding was off. Of course, he was also frantic with worry. We all were.” Katie lowered her gaze as if reliving the pain of that moment. Charlotte gave her hand a comforting squeeze, attempting to convey just how sorry she was to have caused them even a moment of distress.

“After a day or so, Alex joined James, Thomas, Derek, Mr. Wendell and Lord Bradford in the search.”

Charlotte briefly closed her eyes. These were the things she’d tried so hard not to think about. Her family, her friends searching for her. Worrying themselves over her. Only the knowledge that she’d saved them from certain social ostracism and grief made the ordeal bearable. And of course, then Nicholas had come, needing her just as much as she’d needed him.

“Oh, they were all quite discreet about the matter. To this day everyone believes you’re residing somewhere in the north of England. James wanted it so. The gossip surrounding your departure must have kept every printing press running nonstop for well over a year. He had no desire to feed the frenzy by admitting that we had no idea where you were. In any case, when your first letter arrived two weeks later, Alex abandoned the search. I believe it was then he was convinced you had left of your own volition. It probably would have been easier for him if he thought you’d been taken by force.”

Katie sighed and extricated her hand from hers. Charlotte instantly missed the warmth of her touch. “After hearing you were settling into your new home, he seemed to close himself off entirely. He wasn’t sad anymore he was just…empty. Then he started drinking. And carousing.”

Charlotte bolted to her feet, her skirt sweeping the low center table of knotted pine. She couldn’t bear to hear anymore. The pain inside her was excruciating and blinding. “I see. You needn’t tell me anymore,” she said, trying not to choke on her words. She failed utterly.

Katie arose, regarding her with a look of concern. “It is difficult to hear is it not? It was even more difficult to watch, and I didn’t witness the half of it. You have no idea how many years James, Derek and Thomas spent beside themselves trying to save Alex from himself.”

The image of Alex lost in the stupor of drink as he caroused about town in quest of a warm, willing female almost brought her to her knees. And he’d no doubt found them to be had by the droves. But the images persisted unforgiving and relentless. She bit back a wave of nausea.

“Darling, you look pea green. Are you all right?”

Determinedly, Charlotte mentally shook it off, opening her eyes to take in the worried crease on her sister’s brow. “You did warn me it would be hard to hear.” Agonizing, excruciating were more apt terms.

“Alex loved you. He took it exceptionally hard.”

“And now? How is he now?” Silly as it was, what she really wanted to ask was did he ever talk about her? When had he stopped missing her? Within weeks? Months? Years?

Her sister gave a wan smile. “Well, he does not drink spirits anymore. Not one drop. Gave it up entirely.”

Thank God!
Her guilt was suffocating enough. “Has he married?” Charlotte hadn’t meant to ask, in her heart was afraid to know. But there it was, her insatiable need to know everything about him exerting its control.

“Would it assuage your guilt and make you feel better to know he’s married with a brood of children?” Katie asked, compassion in her eyes.