An Honorable Wish (A Lady's Wish 2) (8 page)

She leaned her body against his for one glorious second and then stiffened. She pushed out of his arms. “Please, you must stop.”

He wanted her back in his arms. He wanted her by his side. Safe. But there was a quiver in her voice that held him back. He frowned. “You aren’t afraid of me, are you?”

She shook her head but pulled a nearby chair between them like a shield. “I’m grateful you’ve taken an interest in the plight of the Williams family. I truly am.”

“But?”

“You shouldn’t toy with me like you’d tease a cat with string.”

“I’m not toying with your affections.”

Her smile was sad. “Aren’t you? Spending this much time alone with me is going to cause talk. It probably already has. ”

“I didn’t think you cared about the talk.”

“It’s one thing when I act like a hoyden in company. It’s another when I’m seen in the company of a gentleman unaccompanied. If the talk gets out, we’ll be forced to marry. You don’t want that.” She walked to the door.

“How do you know what I want?” Tony growled. Everyone seemed to claim to know what he wanted but him.

“I don’t want it either.”

Juliet’s words were like a dull knife in Tony’s gut. Did she mean it? Could she mean it? “Jules—”

“Good night, Tony.”

The door closed with a finality that echoed through his mind. Tony stood there, numb, as her words beat through his brain like a drum.

He stumbled over to the table and poured a brandy, then tossed it back, slamming the glass on the tabletop.

Tony hadn’t realized how much he cared until just now. He’d change her mind. He’d find a way. He’d show her that he was honorable, worthy.

He closed his eyes and tried to fight against the pain in his chest. He wasn’t honorable yet, but he’d find a way to be what she needed.

J
uliet pulled weeds from the ground and watched as Tony and Aaron Williams worked with the sheep. The sun was hot today. Tony had removed both his coat and his waistcoat. His linen shirt clung to his sweaty skin.

“Miss Townsend, you’re pulling out the vegetables, not the weeds. Pay attention,” Penelope said with a laugh. “He’s going to see you staring at him.”

Juliet turned back to the garden and replanted the seedling she’d just yanked out. She needed to tell someone. She glanced back at the men. “The truth is that I think I care for him a great deal.”

“That’s wonderful, Juliet. Mr. Matthews is a good man.” Penelope grinned. “And he’s very handsome.”

“He’s a rake and a gambler.”

Penelope wiggled her brows. “Yes, please!”

Juliet laughed. She glanced back at Tony for a long moment, watching the way his muscles moved under the damp linen of his shirt. He bent over and his buckskins tightened over his hips.
Oh, dear God!
Her mouth suddenly went dry.

“He does look well in those buckskins,” Penelope whispered. Indeed he did. Juliet turned back quickly as Tony turned around. Penelope waved.

“What are you doing?” Juliet whispered frantically.

“The man cannot stop looking at you,” Penelope said. “Aaron says that Mr. Matthews glares at him every time he brings up how good you look in your breeches.”

“I am tossing those in the rubbish bin.”

“I wouldn’t if I were you. Mr. Matthews might like them as well. He is also very protective of you. He chastised Aaron for ogling you so much.”

“If he’s protective, it’s because of Bartleby. He proposed yesterday. I refused him.”

“How did Mr. Bartleby take it?” There was fear in Penelope’s voice.

“I have bruises on my arms where he grabbed me. I think he took pleasure in causing me pain.” Juliet pulled with both of her hands on a particularly stubborn weed.

“Miss Townsend, you should have told your brother-in-law. He would put a stop to it.”

“If I did that, we would never get the chance to figure out what Bartleby is up to. Have you heard anything else from the other tenants?”

“Louisa told me that he tried to coerce her, the same as me. Her betrothed just happened to come by and put a stop to it.”

“Are they afraid of retribution?” There had already been one family who’d been evicted because they had crossed the man. Juliet had personal experience with the viciousness of Mr. Bartleby.

“Louisa’s betrothed isn’t from this area,” Penelope said. “Part of me wants us to leave this place. Take our chances in Lancaster. Aaron and I can get factory work. Papa can have another surgeon look at his leg.”

Juliet grasped Penelope’s hand. “Your family belongs here—as they’ve always been.”

“If Papa had the chance to see a surgeon from Lancaster, perhaps he’d improve. There would be more opportunity for me to marry. As it is now, I’m a burden to my parents. Were I to marry, it would be easier for them.”

“No one here has captured your eye?”

“No one suitable.” Penelope looked down at the row of vegetables. “It’s past time I was married with a family of my own.”

Juliet said nothing. What could she say? Penelope was right. Even if she could live off her dowry, Juliet also had no choice but to marry. What else was there for women but to become the property of men? “It’s not fair.”

“It never is, as Mother is always telling me.” Penelope looked at Tony and smiled. “You won’t have that problem, Miss Townsend. I suspect you’ll have a proposal from Mr. Matthews before the month is out.”

“You are wrong, completely wrong. Mr. Matthews is nothing more than a friend. He’s just having a bit of fun, that’s all.”

Penelope leaned close. “He does not act like a man who is just having fun.”

Juliet refused to get her hopes up. “What do you mean?”

“He is a gentleman. He wouldn’t toy with you. Besides, the man can’t take his eyes off you.”

Juliet sifted her fingers through the loose soil. “You can’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”

Penelope crossed her heart. “It goes to the grave.”

“He kissed me.” Juliet kept her voice low. “He’s always trying to kiss me.”

Penelope grinned. “He’s deliciously handsome.”

Juliet looked up at her. “He has a reputation in London. He plays fast and loose at the gaming tables. What if he’s like my brother?”

Penelope glanced back at the men. “I don’t know that many gamblers would actually spend their spare time working on another man’s property, especially a mere farmer’s. Your Mr. Matthews seems to enjoy the work.”

Juliet snuck a look at Tony through her lashes. He smiled and waved. She automatically waved back. Could it be? Could he have real feelings for her?

Her heart jumped a beat. She couldn’t let herself go down that path without him initiating it. But hadn’t he already? Didn’t kissing her mean he cared? Or was it just something rakes did—go around kissing bookish women?

“My father says that a man’s actions count more than words. Mr. Matthews likes you. A great deal.”

Aaron Williams bounded toward them with a grin on his face. “Come quickly, Miss Townsend! The first of the ewes is starting to deliver her lamb.”

Juliet smiled. “I’ve never seen anything being born before.”

“You can’t miss this. The lambs are so sweet,” said Penelope.

Juliet removed her gloves and tossed them in the basket. She dusted the dirt from her old dress as she followed Penelope to the barn.

She’d never spent this much time on a farm before. She loved it all: the smell of the earth, the sun, the animals. It was so much simpler than her life. “Maybe I should marry a farmer,” she said.

“It’s beneath you and you know it,” Penelope said. “Don’t let all this bucolic scenery tease you. It’s hard work.”

“Still, it’s honest.” Juliet tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. It was more honest than what she had gone through in London. Pretending interest in the inane conversations on the dance floor. And God forbid a woman be learned at something other than needlework and music.

They entered the gloom of the barn. Juliet stopped and let her eyes adjust to the light. Penelope and Aaron leaned on the stall railing.

“Jules, come look,” Tony said in a soft voice.

Her heart started its thudding again. She fought to control her emotions.

He took her hand as she drew closer. “Stand right here. She’s about to give birth.”

Tony moved Juliet to stand in front of him, his hands resting on her shoulders. She could feel his overheated skin, feel his breath as it teased the back of her neck.

“When is it going to happen?” She really wasn’t sure how any of this worked.

“Just watch. She’s in labor now. See—her head is up and she’s lying down.” His voice was soft and close to her ear.

The ewe strained and a bubble of fluid appeared. It burst, and Juliet watched as the first lamb was expelled. It was tiny and covered in a film. The ewe bent to clean her baby.

It was amazing.

“Is she done?” asked Juliet, in awe.

“We’ll have to wait and see. Many have two lambs,” said Tony.

Juliet fought to keep her breathing normal and forced herself to stare at the ewe as she gave birth to another lamb. Tony’s body was so near that she could feel his warmth.

The ewe was cleaning the other lamb. Both soon tried to stand on wobbly legs, falling down a great deal.

“We’d better get you back to the Lodge,” Tony said softly.

She turned to face him. His hair was mussed and his shirt was open at the throat, revealing his chest. He had a smudge on his cheek. She removed it with her thumb, feeling the roughness of his jaw. “Thank you.”

“I thought you might like it,” he said.

Juliet couldn’t make herself move away. Dust motes floated around them in the dim light of the barn.

“Mr. Matthews, my father would like to speak with you before you leave,” Penelope said from the barn door.

“Yes, of course.” Tony stepped away from Juliet. “Give me a few minutes and we’ll go.”

Juliet nodded. She watched him go before turning back to the lambs.
God, I am so stupid.
She couldn’t stop herself from touching him, no matter how badly he could hurt her.

“I told you,” Penelope said softly, coming up beside her. “A man only looks at a woman like that when he loves her a great deal.”

“In London, men have perfected that look to make a woman feel a certain way. It means nothing.” Juliet sighed. “I apologize for my tone. He has me so confused.”

“You need to just let things happen,” Penelope said. “Mama says that’s the only way love can occur.”

“Your mother is a wise woman.”

“She is that,” Penelope said. “Isn’t this the most amazing thing?”

Juliet glanced back at the two nursing lambs. “Do you name them?”

“Not usually. Papa doesn’t think naming them is appropriate. It makes it difficult when we have to butcher them.”

Juliet nodded. “It would be hard to kill a pet.” Juliet took in the sight of the barn. “Every time I visit, I find another reason to long for a life like this.”

“Miss Matthews, you have balls, gentlemen callers, parties, dinners, trips to London. I would love that.” Penelope laughed. “We are a pair, both of us wanting what the other has.”

Juliet said nothing. There were moments such as today, when she was watching Tony, that she wished things were different, simpler, that she could simply allow herself to love him. Not worry he would leave her again for London, for gambling. And there were moments when she sensed Tony felt the same.

 

Tony caught Miss Williams’s knowing look as he brushed past her on his way to visit with her father.

Juliet had asked that he stop teasing her. This wasn’t teasing. If he listened to his little-used heart, this was the opposite of teasing. His feelings were serious. The leg-shackling, set-up-home kind of serious.

Tony collected his waistcoat and jacket and slipped them on before stepping into the house to talk with Mr. Williams.

“Mr. Matthews, he’s in his sitting room,” Mrs. Williams said softly. “It’s not been a good day, sir. He’s been in a great deal of pain.”

“I won’t keep him long, ma’am.”

“Shall I bring tea?”

“No. Thank you, ma’am,” Tony said. He followed Mrs. Williams to the sitting room at the back of the house. The room was small and cozy with old, comfortable furniture. Mr. Williams sat in a chair staring out at the back garden.

Tony cleared his throat. “You asked to see me, sir?”

“Please sit down, sir.” Mr. Williams motioned to a chair by the window, across from him.

Tony sat and waited for the man to speak. Pain had etched new lines in his face.

Mr. Williams got directly to the point. “My son tells me that you’ve been visiting the other tenants.”

“Yes.” While the other tenants had confirmed what Mr. Williams had said about Bartleby, few were ready to confront him to make things right. “They aren’t ready to commit to confronting Mr. Bartleby.”

Mr. Williams sighed heavily. His shoulders slumped. “I was afraid of that. Did you have any luck finding out who the new owner is?”

The business of lying was getting old. “Not yet.”

“I hope he’s more interested in the tenants than Mr. Chelsworth. This land could be much more productive and provide a good living with the right management.”

“Has Mr. Bartleby called lately?” Tony needed to change the subject before he gave anything away.

“No.” Mr. Williams leaned back in his chair. “Do I have you to thank for that?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

Mr. Williams gave him a direct look. “Be careful with him. He could be very dangerous.”

Given the bruises on Juliet’s arms, Tony believed it.

“He is aware that you’re asking lots of questions. He knows that you’re talking to the tenants,” Mr. Williams said. “I would be careful if I were you.”

Tony stood. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.”

“Thank you for the help, Mr. Matthews,” Mr. Williams said.

Tony walked out into the sun. Mr. Williams was correct. The estate could provide a good living with proper management. The tenants were fair, hardworking, and aware of the agricultural advances being made. Crop rotations were done on a regular schedule. The land was left fallow when it needed to be. Several of the farms were already sheep farming with great success. Nothing seemed out of order.

Tony walked up to Juliet and Miss Williams. They were giggling but quickly broke it off before he got close enough to hear their conversation. Given the color in Juliet’s cheeks, they were talking about him. Good—he knew Penelope Williams was on his side.

“Ready to leave?” he asked.

Juliet nodded. She clasped Miss Williams’s hands. Penelope whispered something to her and she shook her head emphatically.

Tony assisted Juliet into the cart and then joined her, taking the reins from Aaron.

“Will you be back tomorrow, sir?” Aaron asked.

“No. It might be several days. Send me a note if anything happens or if you hear from Bartleby.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tony waited until they were out of earshot before saying, “That boy likes you.”

“I suppose.” Juliet was sitting perfectly straight, about as far from him as she could get without falling out of the cart.

“You might want to move a bit closer. If we hit a bump, you’d bounce right out.”

“I’m fine.”

God, he hated the word
fine
. Any time a woman used it, it never boded well. He couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Are you certain?”

Juliet focused on the row of trees framing the overgrown lane. She was keeping her side of the bargain by not encouraging his attentions.