An Ideal Wife (16 page)

The next few days passed without any more drastic situations in Sameer’s life and he was back at work. Many of his colleagues asked him about his honeymoon but he avoided giving answers by just smiling. This didn’t go down too well with his colleagues but they decided not to dig any further for the time being. Sameer would strategically come in late to work and leave early to avoid any non-work discussions with his colleagues.

One day, while Sameer was giving the final touches to his presentation for a new client, Jimmy came over to his cabin, pulled up a chair and sat right opposite him. Without uttering a word he just kept looking, which made Sameer quite nervous as he expected a beamer from Jimmy. There was an eerie silence, which was finally broken by Jimmy.

‘Didn’t I tell you, you were going to lose the bet?’

‘What? I haven’t waged any bet,’ Sameer replied true to his forgetfulness in the face of tension.

‘Awesome, now you don’t even remember it!’

‘I have a lot to finish today so please don’t beat around the bush and come straight to the point.’

‘I am talking about the Ideal Wife bet.’

‘Oh that,’ Sameer tried to play it down.

‘Haanji sirji.’

‘But when did I lose it?’ surprised, Sameer inquired.

‘Bhai sahib,
when Payal doesn’t even listen to you, then how can she be your ideal wife?’

‘Has he spoken to Payal?’
Sameer muttered but quickly recovered.

‘Don’t make up stories, Jimmy,’ Sameer hardened his voice.

‘I am not making up any stories buddy but aren’t you guys cancelling parties after parties?’

‘So?’

‘It never happened before your marriage. In fact you were the one who arranged most of the parties,’ Jimmy responded with solid logic on his side.

‘Arre,
it’s just that we are too tired,’ Sameer tried to cover up.

‘It’s been over a month since you returned from your honeymoon,’ Jimmy continued his jibe.

‘Let’s cut to the chase, tell me what can I do to prove that she is my ideal wife?’ Sameer was fed up with the discussion, so he wanted to come straight to the point.

‘Come for this Friday’s party then.’

‘It’s just, it’s just…’ Sameer fumbled.

‘Accept your defeat bro; I’ll let you go lightly.’

Sameer got agitated and picked up his phone to hide his frustration.

‘Wait, I’ll just call Payal and make sure we attend Friday’s party.’

Sameer dialled Payal’s number. She picked up the phone and started talking even before Sameer could say anything to her.

‘Glad you called; I was just about to call you. My Friday shoot has been postponed. If you haven’t cancelled then we can certainly attend the party this Friday.’

‘Okay.’

‘Just gotta run for the next shot, will call later, bye.’

Payal disconnected the phone. Sameer looked at Jimmy who had no idea that she had already disconnected. Sameer quickly came up with a plan and pretended to speak to Payal.

‘No, no, nothing doing…this time you will have to cancel your shoot. I have promised that we are attending Friday’s party, period. We are going and that is that.’

Sameer banged his phone and looked at Jimmy.

‘Friday party is ON.’

‘Damn man, my wife would eat me alive if I ever spoke to her like that,’ Jimmy was astonished.

‘Just make sure the bet money is ready, buddy,’ Sameer carried on the charade, like this had been a piece of cake, easy-peasy.

‘Chal,
I will inform everyone that the party is on.’

Jimmy left Sameer’s cabin shaking his head in disbelief. As soon as he left, Sameer’s cellphone rang and screen displayed
‘Revolver Rani
’, his contact name for Payal.

‘Oh God, I hope she doesn’t go back on her words,’
Sameer mumbled.

Sameer looked around to make sure that no one was around him and then he picked up the phone.

‘Haanji sarkar, hukum.
’

‘Make sure you come early today, it’s been few days we haven’t…’ she took a pause.

‘What?’ Sameer asked politely.

‘You know what!’

Sameer’s face turned red thinking about the lovemaking ordeal.

On Friday, Sameer’s colleagues were gathered in a party hall, which was next to their office in Andheri West. Just one look at the guests was enough to convince anyone that Bollywood was the theme of the party. Everyone was dressed depending on the era they chose to represent. No prizes for guessing, Sameer’s fatty boss was in Gabbar Singh attire.

The DJ was playing songs of different eras to set the mood of the party.

Gabbar Singh was in full flow and asked Jimmy:

‘Arre oh Kaliya,
did you remind Sameer to come on time?’

‘Jee jee Gabbar,
I just spoke to them and they will be here any moment,’ Jimmy replied mimicking Kaliya.

Gabbar started laughing and everyone joined in the chorus. Right then all the lights of the hall went off except a spotlight at the entry door. After a few seconds, Sameer holding Payal’s hand entered the hall through the same door. Huge cheers and claps welcomed them and the spotlight followed them till they reached the centre of the hall.

They both were dressed like the mid sixty’s filmy couple of Sunil Dutt and Sadhana. Payal was looking absolutely stunning in Sadhana’s famous hairdo.

‘Wow, now I know why you were postponing parties.’ Remarked one of the male colleagues.

‘What do you mean?’ inquired a female colleague.

‘Man, if had a wife like her, I would never leave my bed.’

He replied without blinking his eyes, which were fixed on Payal.

Everyone started laughing including Payal but Sameer reacted as if he hadn’t heard anything.

Sensing the mood, the DJ played
‘Arri oh jumma, aaj kaa wada hai’
from the film
‘Hum’.
Everyone thronged the dancing floor and dragged Payal along. Sameer was amazed to see that the same people, who once forced him to dance, didn’t even bother to ask him today.

One after another, the DJ continued to play songs on the requests of the guests and it was no surprise that most of the songs were dedicated to Payal. As the party continued, people started getting tired and crashing on the couches lined in the hall.

After sometime Gabbar Singh, encouraged by the response his office mates were getting from Payal’s friendliness, tried to flirt with her. His wife who was looking at him from a fair distance, signalled him (using her Index finger) to come to her. Like an obedient husband (I guess, Gabbar can’t be an exception either) he walked up to his wife.

‘Yes ma’am, what happened?’ he asked even though he knew the answer.

She just kept looking at him.

‘Do you need anything?’ he braved a smile in the face of imminent danger.

‘Nothing, was just checking the power of my fingers to see if they still work like they used to work 20 years ago or not.’

‘They sure do,’ Gabbar Singh mocked.

‘But what were you doing there?’

‘I was also just checking my powers, not of my fingers but of something else,’ he winked his left eye and started laughing madly.

In another section of the party, a waiter came up to Sameer and Payal with drinks on the tray. Sameer picked up his favourite beer (Amstel Light) and asked Payal to pick up whatever she preferred.

‘I have never tried hard drinks before,’ Payal explained

‘There is always a first time,’ Sameer put his Amstel Light back on the tray and picked up a Scotch for himself. ‘Come on, you can also try something new today.’

‘It might not suit me,’ Payal made another attempt at convincing Sameer.

‘Don’t worry I am right here with
you, jaan.
It’s going to be just good fun,’ Sameer didn’t let it go.

‘I am not comfortable,’ Payal clearly was uncomfortable with all this pushing.

Sameer tried to convince her to take just one drink but she didn’t relent. As Sameer looked up he realised Jimmy had overheard their discussion. To make matters worse, Jimmy gave him a thumbs down.

Sameer’s male ego took over and dictated all his actions at the party thus forward. After a lot of persuasion he finally managed to convince Payal to try at least one drink for his sake. Payal agreed on the condition that Sameer would stay close to her all the time as she was not sure how it was going to affect her. Excited Sameer was too lost in happiness to even pay attention to her condition and just nodded without even hearing.

Sameer looked around but couldn’t find Jimmy anywhere so he decided to wait for some time. Payal was getting confused as he had literally pleaded with her to take a drink and now he was not even going to the bar counter to get her a drink! After a few minutes, Sameer’s eyes lit up as he saw Jimmy coming to the bar counter.

Sameer moved with the speed of a hare and reached the bar counter in a flash. On the way to the bar he didn’t even bother to listen to any of his colleagues who were trying to talk to him.

‘One mojito, please?’ Sameer made sure to speak a little louder so Jimmy could hear him.

Jimmy who was looking the other side recognised his voice and turned towards him.

‘Mojito!! Are you okay?’ Jimmy’s left hand went over Sameer’s forehead.

‘Kyon mujhe kya hua?’

‘You and mojito?’

‘It’s for Payal, buddy,’ he said with arrogance and a sense of pride in his voice.

Jimmy couldn’t believe his ears but before he could say anything Sameer took the drink and left with a huge smile on his face thinking about Jimmy’s reaction.

Contrary to his hare-like speed earlier, he slowly ambled towards Payal to make sure that he spoke with everyone on the way to tacitly convey that Payal was going to drink this mojito.

Sameer handed the drink to Payal and she took a small sip quite hesitantly. Sameer gestured to her to drink it without any fear and assured her to leave everything to him. After a few sips, Payal started enjoying the drink and asked Sameer to get another one. Sameer was too happy to do it as many times because with every drink he was getting a sadistic pleasure out of Jimmy’s reaction.

After a few drinks, Payal walked up to the DJ and asked him to play
‘Chikni Chameli, paooa chada ke aaye’.
The DJ was more than happy to oblige the guest of honor.

Payal let her hair loose on the dance floor and danced as if there was no tomorrow. Her dance moves could put Katrina Kaif to shame.

After a while the lights suddenly went out (it was surely a surprise for those who grew up in Mumbai as they had never experienced a blackout in their lives) but the DJ (who had grown up in Delhi) had a backup inverter ready for his audio instruments, so the song and dance continued.

With her blurred vision due to the alcohol along with complete darkness, Payal mistook Jimmy for Sameer. She was about to kiss Jimmy when the lights suddenly came back. Before she could kiss Jimmy she collapsed unconscious to the floor. Everyone was shocked. Sameer was not sure what really happened, but he ran towards Payal and picked her up in his arms. He slowly walked back to his car with Payal in his arms. On the way he overheard people talking about what exactly happened on the dance floor. Sameer felt embarrassed but continued to walk towards his car.

Sameer managed to put Payal inside his car with the help of an attendant. While driving back to their house he looked at Payal who was completely crashed out in the rear seat. Sameer was cursing himself for forcing Payal to drink. At that moment, he once again went back to the flashback of his first discussion with me regarding his wish list for An Ideal Wife.

‘I really don’t understand any of your wish list, now what is this? She should be outgoing and be able to drink with me,’ my voice flashed in his mind.

‘You won’t understand.’

‘Then help me understand,’ I raised my pitch.

‘See, I have many international clients.’

‘What has that got to do with your wife being able to drink?’

‘Will you let me complete?’ Sameer spoke with authority.

I immediately went on a silent mode and gestured Sameer to continue. He took a little time before he started his explanation again.

‘As I said, I have many international clients and I go out for parties and dinners with them very regularly. I want my wife to accompany me to these parties and she should feel comfortable drinking. Apart from that, I also want her not to stop me from drinking at home just like wives of my friends do. I would love if she could join me in drinking even at home.’