An Illicit Pursuit (9 page)

“Of course you’re included.” I smile. “You’re
very lucky to be surrounded by such nice people.”

“You can be surrounded by them, too.”

“You’re never gonna give up trying, aren’t
you?”

“You heard my father. I’m just trying to
spare you a broken relationship.”

I lean against the car, because it feels like
the conversation won’t be ending very soon and I’m tired already.
“Why do you think you’re better for me? You don’t know a thing
about Zach.”

“Where to begin?” He leans next to me and
turns his head to face me. “I’m very attracted to you, and I
believe you’ve got so many good qualities in you that’ll turn my
attraction into something deeper. And, I’m ready for something
deeper and long term. That’s point number one. The second one is
that I respect women and know a great deal about them. And last but
not least, I’m gifted with huge feet,” he says the last sentence
with a grin.

“Oh, fuck you.” I punch him in the arm. “And
fuck you some more for making me cuss. I’m a good girl, you know?
But, when I’m around you I don’t even recognize myself.”

“I’m sorry for putting you in an
uncomfortable situation. Yet, I must say that’s the nicest thing
you’ve ever said to me.”

“You’re welcome.” I shake my head in
disbelief and straighten myself. I don’t even hug him or say
goodbye; I just slam the door of my car and drive off. He’s
provided me with enough irritation for one full week.

Back at home, I drop my dress to the floor
and change into a t-shirt and sweatpants. I use all my will-power
not to go to the kitchen, because if I go I won’t be able to stop
myself from another large consumption of cookies.

Zach has neither called nor texted me. What
can it mean? I pace the room up and down trying to decide whether I
should call him. What if his father has died? Oh, God. His mother
will be devastated and so will he. He’d call me if his father had
died, I think to myself to calm down. After an hour of
indecisiveness, I finally dial his number. But, he won’t answer. I
try three more times without success.

I open the window to avert my stressful
thoughts and inhale and exhale deeply. Maybe I should go out for a
walk or grocery shopping to take my mind off Zach. The sun is
setting and the wind outside makes it chilly in the room. Yet, I
sit by the window frame and mindlessly watch the cars passing
by.

The phone rings. I jump down to get it. It’s
Zach.

“Zach, how have you been?”

“I’m all right. My father woke up. He looks
like himself again. The doctors say he’s stable.”

“Really? That’s fantastic.”

“Yeah. He’ll stay a couple more days in the
hospital, though. My mother and I take turns keeping him
company.”

“Do you know when you’re coming back? I miss
you so much.”

“I miss you, too, baby. But I don’t want to
leave until he’s back on his feet.”

That might take some time.
“Understandable.”

“Besides, my mother is happy to have me
back.”

That much is clear.
“Call me whenever
you can. I’m very lonely without you.”

“Baby,” he hums and lowers his voice, a
patent sign that he’s going to talk dirty. “Send me a picture of
you in that lingerie I bought. Without panties.”

“You’re bad.”

“I’m not bad,” he says and I giggle,
squeezing my thighs together. “I’m just hot for you. Too hot, I’m
sizzling. Will you send me the picture?”

I giggle some more. “Depends on what you’ll
do for me when you come back.”

“Whatever you want.” He chuckles.

“Describe.”

“I’ll…Wait,” he says, and a female voice
interrupts him.

“
Who are you talking to?”
It sounds
like his mother’s voice.

“Mother, you know who I’m talking to. Give me
a second.”

I imagine his mother’s face turning all red
and wrinkled with anger at his answer.
“It’s not right to waste
time with her. You father needs you.”

Right, like he can’t spare two minutes for
his girlfriend.

“Pat, I gotta go now. I’ll call you
later.”

I feel all my blood drain out from me. I
swallow the big chunk of disappointment in my throat and answer
him, “Yeah, do whatever you have to do.”

The line goes dead without him saying
goodbye. What was that? Why am I getting the cold shoulder, as if I
am the reason for his father’s heart attack? Now, nothing can stop
me from baking a tray full of cookies and gulping them down.

The next two days pass without any phone
calls from Zach. I don’t feel like taking sexy shots of me.
Besides, his mother will most likely be bugging him, if he spends a
minute too long with his phone. I think that’s the reason he hasn’t
called me since Sunday.

I hope that is the reason.

The call from Harvey Duke from Diamond
Records hasn’t come either. It feels like everything I’m holding
onto is slipping away from my hands, no matter how tightly I’m
trying to hang on to them. I haven’t touched my guitar since
Sunday, and all I want to do is eat. If I don’t keep my eating
urges under control now, I’ll sink too deep to be rescued
afterwards.

So, I decide to do what’s best for me in this
situation and buy a return flight ticket to Denver to see Zach. I
call my mother to inform her about my visit. She sounds more than
thrilled. To be honest, I feel the same. Although she and I had a
lot of differences growing up, I miss her and my little sister.

I pack a light suitcase with enough clothes
for only an overnight stay and take the bus to the airport. I think
about surprising Zach after I’ve already arrived. Right before I
switch the phone off, I receive a text from Adam.

“
Are you still interested in giving guitar
classes? Nikki and Brendie will have this Friday afternoon off.
Take care, Adam.”

“
I’ll be there. See you,”
I reply.

Before shutting off the phone, I send Zach a
brief text, just letting him know about my flight, and that I’ll be
waiting for him at my mom’s home.

Mom picks me up from the airport. My sister,
Mia, has come, too. We were the same height the last time I saw her
about a year ago; now she’s taller than me. Incredible. She hugs me
tightly and cries, telling me how much she’s missed me and that
she’s cross with me for not calling her often. My mother looks as
though she’ll shed tears, too, but she manages to keep herself
together.

Back at home, Mia and I help Mom cook. We
prepare the salad, while Mom deals with baking chicken. Every now
and then, she approaches me for a hug. Why didn’t she show me her
love before, when I was a little girl and really needed it? I’d
have killed for a nice word or a hug from her. My step-dad, Gordon,
works on the table while we prepare dinner. He was laid off from
his last job of ten years and now works as an independent
contractor. My mom jokingly complains about having him at home all
day long, nonetheless goes and gives him a kiss on the head.

There is a knock on the door.

“Must be Zach,” I yelp and run to get it. My
heart is pounding as if I haven’t seen him for ages. Mom dries her
hands and follows me to the door.

Zach appears with a huge grin and a yarmulke
on his head. Since when is he wearing that? I jump into his arms,
and he embraces me snugly with both arms. It feels incredible to
have him again.

He’s mine. All mine.

“Hi, love.” He kisses me on the cheek,
skipping my lips— too shy to show his longing for me in front of my
family— and goes ahead and shakes hands with my mother and
Gordon.

“Hey, Mia. Is that really you?” He shuffles
Mia’s hair. “Boys must be lining up at the door until the next gas
station.”

I nudge him in the ribcage, and he mocks
painful screams.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous of your little
sister.” He winks at me, and my knees go loose briefly for the lust
apparent in his eyes.

We sit around the table; Zach takes his place
next to me and touches my thigh whenever possible under the table
cloth.

“How is your father?” My mother asks as she
serves us our plates.

“He’s doing all right. He’ll be discharged
from the hospital tomorrow. The last few days were hard on my
mother. I’m worried about her now more than I am for my father. I
can only imagine how hard she must be taking it. I mean I wouldn’t
survive if I lost Pat.”

That must have been his reason for not
calling me, to comfort his mother and not to put extra stress on
her. My Zach, ever the protector.

“You won’t lose me.” I reach over to hug him
and kiss his lips, ignoring my family.

Mia yells “Gross, gross, gross,” until I pull
back.

“When is the premiere of your movie? Will you
get tickets for us?” My mother asks.

I nod. “In November. I definitely will if you
want to come.”

After the dinner, we sit together in the
living room to drink coffee. I have Zach on one side and Mia on the
other, both competing for my attention. Then, Mia goes to her
bedroom to do her homework, and I take Zach to mine to do some fun
stuff. I don’t care that everyone else in the house will know what
Zach and I will be doing behind the doors. They probably won’t care
either, since they’ve been used to it for years during my high
school times.

In my bedroom, I push Zach over to the bed
and reach for his yarmulke.

“Do I look weird with it?” he asks.

“No. It’s kind of cute. Can I try it on?”

He laughs. “Okay.”

I grab it, place it on my head, and watch
myself in the mirror. He comes behind me, slides his arms around my
waist up to my breasts, gently massaging them and pushing me
against his body. “I’ve missed you,” he says with a deep voice.

“You didn’t call.”

“I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

His apology isn’t enough, but I want him too
badly to play capricious. Tenderly, I turn around and run my hands
from his chest past his belly, down to his groin. He jerks with my
sudden assault, then attacks me with a deep-tongued kiss, pushing
me back to my bed. Our hands roaming around each other’s bodies, we
fall over on the bed. He rubs his groin between my legs, and I
whimper shamelessly under his touch.

“Clothes,” I whisper between kisses. He pulls
back, draws a package of condoms from his pocket before he strips
down in a flash, then pulls the hem of my t-shirt over my head,
releases me from my bra, and pulls down my pants together with my
panties. All in a matter of seconds. He’s as hungry for me as I am
for him.

How much I’ve missed being naked with him,
feeling his tender skin hot against my body.

He rubs the head of his penis along my slick,
between the lips of my sex, making me moan. “You missed that, huh?
Tell me how much you missed it?”

“Very much,” I moan louder. I’ve missed it so
much that I can’t waste a second without having him inside me. My
hand reaches down to touch his cock, but he slaps it away. “Be
patient, naughty girl.”

“I can’t be patient anymore. Give it to
me.”

He grabs the package of condoms, tears one
apart, and rolls it over his penis. “We’ve got only two left. Hope
that’ll be enough for my naughty girl.”

“I’m not sure about that.” I wrap my legs
around him to have him in me as soon as possible. He drops on his
elbows. I grab his penis, position it right at my entrance, and rub
it up and down once more, before he plunges it into me. I gasp with
pleasure and squeeze my thighs around him forcefully to have all of
him deep in me.

He thrusts into me, making me squirm with the
building desire. My one hand wandering on his chest, the other
massaging my clit, I close my eyes and focus on the building
tension that’s about to blow up between my legs.

“I love you,” he whispers as he always does
when he’s about to come. I rub myself faster and circle my hips
around his penis to reach my own climax. Soon, we both shudder with
an overwhelming release. He collapses on me, making me feel both
loved and protected under his heavy weight.

This was my best day in Denver. Who would
have thought that?

We have sex one more time before going to
bed. I convince him to sleep completely naked so we’ll be wild for
each other in the morning. As I’ve predicted, I wake up feeling his
hard cock grinding against my buttock cheeks and move my hips
against it to tease him.

“We should do this sleeping-in-the-nude thing
more often.” He slides his penis between my legs behind me, and I
move my hips forward and backward to rub it along my slick lips,
moistening it with my own juices, while my hand is pressing its
head against my flesh. Oh, if this isn’t heaven, then what? I can
reach orgasm just like this with the right speed of friction. But,
I feel him reach over and hear him open the condom wrapper. I groan
with discontentment as he frees his penis from my grip to roll down
the condom.

“Hurry.” I force my buttocks toward him.

“Oh, no! I think it’s broken.” He shows me
the condom hanging on his finger. I see a tiny dot on the top of
the rubber when I narrow my eyes.

“What are we gonna do now?” He throws the
condom onto the floor.

I want him too badly to cancel this. I’m
going back to LA today, and probably I won’t have him for another
three, four days. “Let’s just do it until you’re about to come,
then you pull out and I’ll suck you off. I’ll have my period in a
few days. I won’t get pregnant.”

He doesn’t object to my suggestion, in fact
eagerly pushes me down so my face is buried on the pillow, and then
slides his bare penis into me. Ahhh, it feels so much better and
more intimate without the condom. I can feel it throbbing inside me
like a heartbeat.

“You feel so good,” he whispers to my ear as
he plunges in and out of me. “Why haven’t we done it without a
condom before?”