An Imperfect Circle (17 page)

He immediately scowls and I can sense that he’s growing angry. I know it’s a sensitive area and I should have approached the issue more carefully but he made me see red and I retaliated without thinking.

“Is that what you want?” He approaches me with his shoulders set. “Want to make me feel like a fucking idiot? Point out that I can’t read as well as Craig even though he’s fucking eleven years old? Fine, Elise. Let’s hash this out.”

“
Karl, that’s not-”

“
No, come on, out with it. Just say whatever it is you want to say.”

Instead of feeling his presence,
now I can feel his anger. The air is heavy with the intense emotion and it almost stings as it prickles my skin. I hate that I’ve made him feel this way.

I hate that he’s this way with me.

He’s the one that said we should be able to talk about anything and everything.

“
I was only going to ask if it was something I could help with,” I frown. Friends help each other, that’s what having Becky Blossom in my life has taught me. If me and Karl are going to be friends, we should be there for one another, right?

“
What?” He recoils as if I’ve slapped him.

“
Like with the swing set,” I shrug. “We did it quicker because there were two of us.”

He’s still staring at me like I’m crazy so I push on.

“I know Ian and Matt help you but Matt has a job and Ian is always helping somebody. Sometimes he might not have time and I could help.”

“
I’m not an idiot,” he snaps.

“
I know that, Karl,” I slap his arm because he’s acting like one and he needs to wake up. “You’re clever, you always have been, but you just have a hard time reading, right? Are you dyslexic?”

I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. He cracks his knuckles together and narrows his eyes at me. It’s not a threatening gesture. I mostly get the impression he’s stalling.

“Yes,” he grits. “How did you know?” He looks so distraught, so ashamed, and it kind of makes me want to slap him again.

“
It was a guess,” I shrug. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You know that, right?”

“
Yeah, yeah,” he sighs, sitting back down on the bed. “I’ve heard it a million times. But that’s easy to say if you’re not being outdone by your kid brother. Hell, Jake and Jamie will overtake me soon.”

“
Karl, the guy who invented the telephone was dyslexic,” I mock him with a grin.

Okay, so I may have done some research after I found out.

“Alexander Graham Bell?” Karl asks in shock.

“
See, if you were an idiot, you wouldn’t know who that was,” I laugh at him, sitting down next to him again. “Albert Einstein and Da Vinci were too.”

“
I’m good at remembering stuff because it’s easier than reading my notes,” he grumbles with a small smile. “When I read, things just sort of jump around and merge together. It’s not so bad with simple texts but even they take me forever.”

“
Okay,” I nod. “So you’ll let me help you sometimes?”

“
I’m not a charity case, Elise,” he grits.

“
No, you’re my friend. But if it makes you feel better, I accept payment in Wagon Wheels.”

“
Fucking Wagon Wheels,” he chuckles, his smile turning genuine.

I can see the appreciation in his eyes and, for the first time, when he turns to hug me, I don’t even think twice about returning it.

Just like before, I slot into place against him and – since he sniffed me earlier – I guiltlessly inhale and let his woody scent permeate my senses.

“You sit here, Jamie-Lea,” Peter holds a chair out for the little girl.

“
That’s your seat, Granddad,” Jamie shakes her head and takes a step back.

“
Ah, but today you get to sit at the head of the table because you’ve been such a good girl.”

Jamie’s face lights up happily but then she frowns.
“But where will you sit, Granddad?”

“
I’ll sit right next to you, princess,” he grins, lifting Jamie onto her chair.

This seems to placate her and she scrambles
into place on the chair and Peter pushes it in for her before pulling out a chair for his wife.

“
I’ve already eaten dinner, Peter. I need to lie down,” Grandma Carter frowns.

I see the uncomfor
table expressions on the Carters’ faces and I can understand. She’s obviously lost weight since I knew her and she needs to eat but the Alzheimer’s is clearly playing havoc on her memory.

“
Darling, you need to eat before you sleep,” Peter says gently.

“
No, Peter. I’m tired and I’ve already eaten.”

I see Peter’s grimace before he exchanges a look with Andrew and takes his wife by the arm. He grabs a few slices of bread with his spare hand and guides her to the room in the hallway.

“Dad’s bedroom,” Karl explains as I follow their progress. “They sometimes stay over when Grandma’s having one of her bad days. She’s not always like this.”

I nod and smile sympathetically. It’s hard watching a loved one deteriorate day by day. It was torture with my mum but there’s no coming back from Alzheimer’s and it’s her mind that’s failing her more than her body.

“Right,” Andrew clears his throat and does his best to hide his pain from his children. “What have you made for us, Jamie-Lea?”

Jamie beams with pride as her father looks at her but I notice his eyes dart away to the food after just a few seconds.

“It’s stew. Grandma says we had to have lots of protein because we’re growing. And lots of potatoes too so our tummies get full.”

“
What else did you put in it?” Ian asks, pulling out the seat to the right of his father.

“
Grandma said I should keep the recipe a secret. She said we have to keep them secret because if we tell you, you’ll try and make it yourself and then you won’t let me make it again,” Jamie purses her lips, obviously determined to keep her secret.

“
I see,” Ian chuckles, exchanging a look with Matt and the twins.

It’s obvious they’re hoping that she won’t make it again but I have to admit, it smells
all right so far.

“
Elise can sit next to you, can’t she, Jamie?” Karl prompts, nudging me towards the chair next to her.

Jamie-Lea frowns as she scrutinises me.
“But she hurt you.”

“
What?” The twins laugh.

“
She gave him a cabbage!” She insists urgently.

“
A turnip,” Matt guffaws. “She means a turnip.”

“
She didn’t really hurt me, Jamie,” Karl chuckles, winking it me.

“
Really?” Ian scoffs. “Because it looked like you were going to cry.”

“
Like hell,” Karl scowls.

“
Boys,” Andrew warns. “Sit down and have some decorum.”

They reluctantly sit down and I do the same. Jamie is still eyeing me
suspiciously and I actually feel guilty under her scrutiny. She’s obviously very loyal.

“
Jamie, Elise is my friend, okay?” Karl prompts, leaning past me. “I want you to be extra nice to her.”

Jamie maintains her suspicious stare but nods obediently.

“Jamie-Lea is a very pretty name,” I say in an effort to win her over as the food is being dished out.

“
It’s my name,” she nods.

“
Yes it is,” I chuckle. “I like it.”

She tries to maintain her glare but she ends up smiling and I feel like patting myself on the back because I made her smile and her face lights up when she smiles. The Carter genes are clearly good ones because this little girl is absolutely adorable and I kind of want to hug her.

Yes, me. I want to hug somebody, by choice.

“
It is a good name,” Peter agrees, returning to take his seat next to Jamie just as the last bowl is filled. “You remember how you got your name, princess?”

Jamie frowns and pouts simultaneously and I almost do something out of character and gush because she’s so
fudging cute!

Peter chuckles and glances at Andrew as if expecting him to fill us in but he just studies the stew with an uncanny level of focus. Peter clenches his teeth slightly but the slight f
licker of irritation is replaced with one of adoration as he returns his gaze to Jamie.

“
When we found out Jamie was on her way, we didn’t know if she would be a boy or a girl so the plan was that all the boys would put names into a bag. They each had to pick one girl’s name and one boy’s name and then put it in the bag. Then we’d pick names out of the bag and the first boy’s and girl’s names we picked would be the names for Jamie when she arrived,” Peter explained.

“
Only it didn’t quite go to plan,” Danny chuckles.

Peter nods.
“We picked every name out of the bag and they were all for boys.”

“
What?” I laugh, looking around at the boys.

“
Well, let’s be honest,” Ian grins. “The track record wasn’t exactly giving high odds for a girl.”

“
I’m the first girl,” Jamie adds her very helpful explanation.

“
Yes you are,” Peter pinches her cheek affectionately. “But Craig came up with an idea.”

Craig looks up from the table when he realises Peter is expecting him to speak.
“Somebody had picked Jamie and somebody had picked Lee.”

“
I picked Jamie,” the twins say together.

“
I picked Lee,” Karl grins.

“
But if you put them together as Jamie-Lea, it’s a girls name.”

“
My name
is
a girl’s name,” Jamie declares and I can see her glaring at Jake who glares back. I suspect he may have been teasing her about having a boy’s name.

“
And a very pretty one at that,” I agree because it suits her. I like that her brothers were all involved in naming her.

“
Let’s eat before it gets cold,” Andrew speaks, drawing the full attention of his family.

“
I’ll concede the honours to the chef,” Peter beams at Jamie. The Carters have this rule that the eldest at the table is always first to eat as a sign of respect.

“
Me?” Jamie gasps, eyes wide with pride.

Peter nods with a kind smile and Jamie picks up her spoon and starts on her food.

I know the Carter boys and I know they’d usually dig in to their food without a second thought but I giggle as I watch them all wait for Jamie’s reaction before they lift their spoons.

Andrew and Peter are already on their first mouthfuls but the boys wait until they see Jamie-Lea start on her second spoonful before they dig in.

“Holy shit!” Matt exclaims.

“
Matthew!” Andrew barks.

“
Sorry, sir,” Matt winces. “But have you tasted this, its fu- I mean, it’s…” he pauses to take another mouthful and then moans in approval.

The rest of them are sort of half groaning in
ecstasy and half shovelling their spoons into their mouths. It’s like watching a pig try and drink out of a china teacup.

I chuckle as
I take my first taste and suddenly I’m wishing there was some sort of way I could taste more of it. Holy Wagon Wheels is this stuff good. Everyone is staring at Jamie in wonder as she continues eating her stew in blissful ignorance. I don’t think she’s even looked up at them. She’s just focussing really hard on not spilling her stew as she moves it to her mouth.

“
There’s no way Jamie-Lea made this!” Jake chirps.

“
Your grandma only did the chopping,” Peter informs him. “She wasn’t feeling good so Jamie pretty much took over.”

“
Jamie-Lea,” Ian prompts and she looks up at the sound of her name.

“
Yes?” She asks nervously. It’s like it’s suddenly occurred to her that her big brothers might not like her cooking and she looks mortified at the idea.

“
This is really good,” he smiles reassuringly.

She sags with relief and her face lights up with that beautiful smile. That girl will never need make-up.

“One problem though,” Karl frowns.

“
What?” Jamie’s eyes widen in horror, scanning the table to see what the problem is.

“
I need more?” Karl grins, holding up the bowl that he’s practically licked clean.

“
Grandma said you always have to make two pots to feed Carters,” Jamie smiles. “There’s another pot on the big hobble in the kitchen.”

“
On the hob, Jamie,” Craig smiles fondly.

“
On the hob,” she repeats bashfully.

“
Did your grandma tell you what to put in it?” I ask Jamie because, honestly, it was absolutely delicious and she’s six years old for crying out loud.

“
Grandma said I had to smell the jars with the herbs. She said to smell the food then the herbs and add the ones that smelt nice. I smelt them all. I put the nice ones in and then some brown stuff and some red stuff.”

I nod like I understand but I have no idea what brown and red stuff she could possibly have put in but it worked so I’m not going to question it.

“Well, you should be careful, you keep cooking like this and they’ll make you cook every night,” I wink at her.

She actually beams at this and I think she quite likes the idea.

I help wash up because I’ve just eaten their food for free so it’s the least I can do. The pizzas go forgotten with the pleasant stew surprise and we sort of congregate in the downstairs den after the clean up is done.

I plonk my rear down in the corner of the sofa and Karl sits next to me. To my surpris
e, Jamie-Lea comes and stands in front of me. She holds her arms out in silent request and Karl leans forwards so he can lift her onto my lap. She sits sideways and puts her feet on her brother.

“
Elise,” Jamie-Lea says my name like she’s testing how it sounds.

“
She likes ‘Ellie’,” Karl prompts.

“
Actually, I think it’s okay if you call me Elise, Jamie-Lea,” I smile because it just feels right. Elise is definitely who I’ve felt like today and it hasn’t been as scary as I thought it might.

“
Elise,” she nods and then looks up at me and smiles broadly. “I like your hair.”

“
Me too,” I grin at her. “And I like yours too.”

She blushes and looks over at Karl.
“You’re smiling.”

Karl chuckles and glance
s at me with a cheeky smirk before he looks back at his sister. “Am I not allowed to smile?”

“
You are,” she nods enthusiastically. “I like it when you smile.”

Karl just shakes his head and laughs like Jamie’s crazy but I have to admit, I like it when he smiles too. I like the way his lips curl upwards and his eyes twinkle. I like the way I can almost feel his happiness as my own.

I’m kind of liking being his friend.

When the show we’re watching ends, Andrew pops back into the room to tell Jamie it’s time for her to go to bed. She nods dutifully and raises her arms hopefully, obviously asking for a hug from her father.

“Jamie,” Andrew sighs.

“
Just give the girl a hug, Andrew,” Peter frowns.

And
rew bends down and gives her a brief hug. I can almost see sadness in his eyes as he squeezes his youngest child. There’s love in his gaze but there’s sadness in there too. I guess he must still miss his wife. Even I can see the resemblance Jamie bears to her but that’s not really an excuse to avoid a hug.

“
Ian, take your sister to bed,” Andrew orders with a regretful expression.

“
Yes, sir,” Ian nods, standing up and chucking Jamie over his shoulder. “Come on, Master Chef. Let’s get your teeth brushed.”

“
Going to drop her again, E?” Matt smirks as Ian carries her out of the room.

Ian just grins and pretends to drop his sister, catching her at the last second. She doesn’t look scared even for a second. In fact, she’s giggling happily.