An Indecent Awakening (5 page)

“One thing I deserve,” Ben said conversationally, “is that my porn-girl’s cunt is a nice smooth cunt—like Paula’s, there. I’m going to shave you, next time, so that I get to fuck a real porn-girl, who’s as bare down there as she should be, to please a man properly.”

“No, please…” Stacy whispered. “I… someone will notice…” She blushed furiously. “My friends… at the gym…”

“Do you think I care about that, Stacy?” Ben asked severely. “I hope your friends do notice that you’re bare down there. When they ask why, you’ll tell them that it’s because you’re in training to be a porn-girl, and porn-girls are always bare, so that they give men a nicer view.”

He pointed to the screen. “Look at little Paula’s cunt. How much hotter does it look, because we know that Rod, or Phil, or some other guy, decided she should be bare between her legs, to show her pussy off to him and whoever else he wants to show it to?”

Ben looked at Stacy, studied her expression minutely as she obeyed and examined the close-up of the sweet, spread cunt on the screen.

“But… I mean…” she said quietly and almost to herself. “I mean, shouldn’t she be the one… Isn’t it only right if
she
decided to be in the video?”

“Yes,” Ben said. Then he bent his head again and licked fiercely at her clit, still holding her cunt open with his right hand, so that he could catch the little nub between his lips, too, and make Stacy cry out even louder than Paula did in the video.

He raised his head again and looked up at Stacy, who had closed her eyes once more. He watched those sweet, innocent hazel eyes open. When they did, he said, “Do you want to be my porn-girl, Stacy?”

Stacy’s mouth opened slightly, as if she were going to answer the question, but no sound came out.

“You don’t know, do you?”

Mutely, she shook her head.

“But you do know that if you don’t obey me, you’ll be whipped.”

Stacy’s eyes widened, and she nodded at that.

He fixed his eyes on her sweet cunt, whose soft fur seemed paradoxically to make it look more innocent, since Ben had told her that he would take that covering away. He wanted to see how her pussy would react to his next words. “Do you think Rod whips Paula?”

Stacy’s cunt didn’t disappoint him: it gave an adorable little contraction. “I-I…” she stammered.

“I saw what your cunt just did, Stacy,” Ben said softly. “It doesn’t really matter whether just before the video started Paula had to have a whipping, but I want you to imagine that she did.”

Ben stood up, and once again fetched his old punishment strap, an antique—perhaps from a one-room schoolhouse—that he had found in a wonderful little shop in the Berkshires. He put his left forearm across Stacy’s knees, to hold them high in diaper position. He preferred to thrash girls over a spanking bench, for the most part, but diaper position did have wonderful humiliation value, as well as a certain intimacy. And for Stacy right now, of course, the similarity of her position to Paula-the-porn-girl’s on the screen made it very special.

At the touch of his arm, Stacy gasped, and then, when he brought the strap down hard atop the slightly curled red lines that already marked her sweet pale bottom, she screamed.

“Now you’re having a whipping, too, Stacy.”

He lashed her again, looking at her face this time, as she opened her mouth to give a sob and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Do you think you’re going to decide to be my porn-girl, as I’ve requested, and to keep your cunt nice and smooth and pretty for me?”

He whipped her again, harder, making certain to catch her pussy a little with the strap.

“Yes!” she screamed.

“There,” Ben said. He stopped whipping her, but he kept her knees raised. “You’ve decided to be a good girl, and learn your lessons. Like I said, I think someday you’ll be in videos of your own, just like Paula.”

“Oh, God,” Stacy whispered.

Ben put the strap down again, picked up the remote, and pointed it at the screen.

“What happens next?” he asked.

Stacy’s brow furrowed. “Um…”

“In the video. What does Rod do next, with Paula?”

The blush returned to Stacy’s cheeks. “He… they have… sex.”

Ben smiled. “That’s right, and I think he even describes it that way, though I have to admit I found that rather fun, since it’s not the term I would have used.”

Stacy frowned. “Wh-”

“Fucking,” Ben said, cutting her off. “Rod fucks Paula, just like I’m going to fuck you.”

He watched her cunt contract at that, and he couldn’t help putting his hand down to rub gently. “How’s this pussy doing?” he asked softly and condescendingly. “Does it want to fuck? Does it want a nice big cock inside it?”

He looked Stacy in her eyes. “Answer me, Stacy. Does your cunt need fucking?”

“Yes,” she whispered. In her eyes he saw the way his special kind of lesson had released her: knowing that he would whip her if she didn’t answer correctly meant that she could give the shameful answer her passion wanted her to give, rather than the answer society wanted.

“Are you starting to get it, porn-girl?” he asked softly. “Do you see the path of virtue? Do you see how a girl like you needs training, to learn to serve a man and give him pleasure?”

He accompanied these words with more gentle caresses, of her whole cunt, up and down, so that she whimpered in response. He plunged two fingers inside her pussy, and thrust them in and out, while moving his thumb against her clit. Stacy gave a sobbing moan.

“From now on, Stacy Miller, you’re going to be able to walk that path of virtue, because you know what will happen if I find you watching porn that I didn’t tell you to watch for homework, or I hear you cussing, or being disrespectful to your folks. You’ll be able to do that because I’ve taken you in hand, as my porn-girl, and I’m training you to please the guy who will take care of you, after I’ve finished getting you ready for him.”

Ben started the video again.

Rod took his hand away from Paula’s cunt and said, “Keep those legs nice and high, sweetie.” In a medium shot, the camera watched him step back and lower his pants. “Do you know what’s going to happen now?” he asked, like a patient teacher.

The camera showed Paula looking slightly confused. Ben had to admit that this setup, where Paula had come in to audition for a porn video and pretended not to understand that she would have to do right there, on the casting couch, exactly what the porn video required, worked very well to produce a highly arousing power dynamic.

“What do you think you’re going to do now, sweetie?” Rod asked.

Paula shook her head, as if to say that she had no idea.

“You’re going to have sex,” Rod said. “When’s the last time you had sex?”

“Um,” Paula said. “Last month?”

“Well, open up those knees for me, nice and wide, now, and we’ll fix that.”

Paula’s face showed uncertainty, but Rod gave her no time to hesitate: he opened her knees for her and brought his cock to bear. The angle switched to a camcorder he held in his right hand, and the screen showed his cockhead pushing slowly into Paula’s pink cunt.

Ben froze the video again. Stacy’s eyes, which had been fixed on the screen, moved to his with a wide-eyed expression of alarm.

“What do you think is going to happen now, Stacy?” he asked.

Stacy bit her lip.
I can’t answer, can I? I just can’t.

“I’m going to have sex,” she whispered.
But I thought I couldn’t answer.
Was Ben right? Did she want this? Did she want to be his… that thing he kept saying?

“As nice as that video is,” Ben said, “I want my porn-girl to answer a little differently. Do you know what I want you to say?”

Her face got even hotter. Now she felt positive she couldn’t answer, but then she found herself saying, so softly that she almost couldn’t hear herself, “You’re going to fuck me.”

“That’s right, sweetie,” Ben said.

He moved between her and the screen, and he took his cock in his right hand.

“Spread those knees nice and wide,” he said.

It’s just like the video,
Stacy thought.
I’m a porn-girl
.

But now she couldn’t see the screen, and Ben’s back was to it, too. That made her wonder whether she could be… that thing… if the porn wasn’t visible to her. If she couldn’t see the terrible images, where the girl—always, in the videos Stacy watched, it was indeed the girl, or the girls—became nothing more than the thing the guy (or guys) fucked… if she couldn’t see the fucking, what did that make her, while Ben, her strange new teacher, put the head of his cock in her warm, wet pussy, and began to push in firmly.

Stacy moaned: it felt better than sex had ever felt with Jack. The idea that she was Ben Weathers’ porn-girl now seemed to make the sensation of him putting his cock inside her to fuck her so much more intense that she couldn’t help throwing her head back and sobbing with the pleasure of it. She would come; she would come so hard, and she had never come during sex before. She looked up at Ben, and saw that he was looking not into her face but down at the filthy sight of his cock thrusting into her cunt.

Cunt.
Stacy had never thought she would ever find the c-word appropriate for her own brain to think on its own. When the porn-guys said it—the porn-girls never did—she found it arousing, yes, but she had never had the word come into her mind from her
own
subconscious.

And now she looked where Ben was looking, and she realized that she must be looking through his eyes, because what she saw was her cunt being fucked by a big cock. That made her give another sob of terrible ecstasy. Ben put his hand down and rubbed her clit, and Stacy screamed and came without even realizing she was on the edge; she just felt her back arch, and heard the strangled sound coming from her chest. She pulled her own knees back, and then felt Ben put his hands there to push her further open, and it made the orgasm even stronger. Something about being…
forced
seemed to be transforming her, and though Stacy was by no means sure she liked it, the pleasure of this incredible climax felt like fact—like something so true it made no sense to try to deny it.

She could not see the screen, where Rod had begun fucking Paula just as Ben now continued to fuck Stacy, still looking down at her cunt and his cock surging into and out of it, but she understood now that she was absolutely still a porn-girl, in the sense that mattered. Ben’s eyes, looking at the shameful sight, became the camera through which she watched the objectification of her body, of her cunt, her tits, her ass.

She knew she wasn’t supposed to like that. She wasn’t supposed to like being seen as an object. Stacy Miller wasn’t a feminist, and her mom certainly wasn’t a feminist, but she had taken in enough of the modern values they had inculcated in her in public school to know that men weren’t supposed to objectify women, and women were supposed to tell them so, any time they felt like a man had objectified them.

Though she had been watching porn once or twice a week for several months, now, she had never thought about it, as silly as that seemed in the current circumstances. In fact, she had tried hard
not
to think about it. She would find a video and download it. She wasn’t sure why she always downloaded them, which now seemed like a very stupid decision, but she thought it had something to do with wanting to keep it contained.

She would watch the video, she would play with herself, and she wouldn’t think about why exactly hearing ‘Rod’ say “You’re going to have sex,” and then put his cock in ‘Paula’s’ pussy got her so excited. She would come, close her laptop, and that would be that, except for the two occasions when one orgasm hadn’t been enough, and the porn-viewing had gone on for several hours. After those occasions were over, though, she
definitely
hadn’t thought about how they happened; she had just told herself,
That’s
not going to happen again
.

Ben had shifted his gaze to her breasts as he continued to fuck her. “Play with your tits,” he commanded, and she did, giving a little whimper. “Nice, baby,” he said. “Nice little tits.”

Yes—that was it. Ben’s gaze was the camera, and Stacy could look through that gaze, in her imagination, and watch him fucking porn-girl, who happened to be Stacy Miller. When that shameful image of her objectified, sexy young body came together with the
feeling
of his cock pounding into her, of his fingers on her clit, of her own fingers on her breasts, pinching the nipples to put on a show for the camera—and when Stacy understood that the
reason
she had those sensations was that
she
was the porn-girl—all the pleasure in the universe seemed to be flowing through her pussy, her hips, her legs, her bottom, her soul.

That bizarre insight still seemed to enfold inside it the mystery of what Ben’s gaze
was,
and
how
it accomplished the feat of turning her into porn-girl. But although Stacy didn’t know how she would respond the next time Ben gave her an order—whether she would need another whipping, at the thought of which she felt her treasonous pussy clench again around Ben’s cock—she knew that these degrading lessons were something that for better or worse a long-buried part of her
needed
.

The next order came very quickly, and it turned out Stacy didn’t need whipping.

“We’re going to do doggy-style now, baby,” Ben said. He pulled his cock out. “It’s my favorite way to fuck a naughty girl.”

Stacy herself had never had sex that way before, but of course she had seen it in the videos hundreds of times. Something about it triggered a kind of arousal that felt like the most shameful kind of all—except for the heart-fluttering, pussy-clenching kind she got when… that other thing… happened to the girls.

And Ben had just said it was his favorite. And that meant that Stacy would… well, that she would
have
to do it very often, right? Because she would have to come to his house twice a week, for these lessons. And she would get it doggy-style every time, because that was Ben’s favorite.

And if doggy-style was his favorite, what did it mean about the other thing? The other thing that usually started with the doggy-style position, and then the guy said that it was time for the other thing.