An Ordinary Me (7 page)

Chapter 5

Garrison

Our band gig at the county carnival was for two hours on opening night. I was pretty stoked about it. It was a huge event for New Braunfels, a town that had more cattle than people.

Music was the only thing that made my mind stop. I had no thoughts running through it other than the next set of notes I had to play. We only got this event because Dylan’s aunt organized it. We were going to play the two hours then hang out at the carnival. I loved a good Ferris wheel ride. I loved to look out and see all the people that looked like ants so minuscule.

I was not three minutes into the second song when I looked out in the audience and saw her. Reese. She was dressed in a flannel shirt tied around her waist and denim shorts. She was bopping around to the music and looked like she was really enjoying it. She had the rhythm down made to dance, unlike me. I had seen her dance several times on the school dance team and always zeroed in on her. It was as if watching her dancing and the way her hips were moving to our beat locked me in a trance I couldn’t pull away from.

When the song ended I looked up to find where she was, and she was staring right at me. I was caught staring at her and couldn’t turn away. I rubbed my hand through my hair and smiled. She smiled back. Dylan announced the next song, and I started as she clapped and hollered. I continued drumming through the song and any free moment I had I looked out at her to see if she was still there listening. It gave me a high that I had never felt.

She was one beautiful girl who kept reeling me in. I knew I couldn’t possibly have her though. She was too good for me. I knew any interest she had in me, no matter how much she might like me once she knew where I came from that would all change. I wasn’t the normal senior guy with a normal family life. I was ashamed but I also knew I was what I was. But that didn’t change the fact I was watching her dance to our music, her long brown hair flowing down her back.

Our set ended at nine thirty and I walked over to the concessions to get a drink. I got a swig out of my water when Autumn and Reese walked up with Dylan.

“Look who came to see us play, Garrison. He’s a badass drummer in case you didn’t notice.”

Reese smiled at me. “That I already knew.”

“Ditto.” Autumn just shook her head agreeing. She looked like she was searching for someone as we were standing there.

“You’re awesome on the drums.” Reese smiled at me.

“Thanks! I love to play.”

“It shows.”

Autumn interrupts the silence. “Reese, I’ll be right back. I gotta go look for someone.”

“K, I’ll wait here.”

The place was packed, and I could see she really had no interest in going back through the crowd she just came through.

We leaned up against the wall by the concession stand and made small talk.

The feelings I felt for Reese continued to accelerate. Just the sound of her voice got me excited. I had to put my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out. I knew a disaster when I saw one and she was screaming it. I’m feeling this pull to her that’s so intense. I don’t understand what I was feeling, but it was overwhelming and consuming my thoughts. I had a desire for her, and frankly, I hadn’t had a desire for anything in my life like I had for her.

“So you wanna go for a ride? I wanted to at least ride the Ferris wheel before I left tonight.”

“I would love to.”

We walked towards the Ferris wheel and got in the line. I took every opportunity I could to take a look at her. She was a little shorter than me. Her shorts were short and she had incredible, long legs. Her dancing had done her good. Her long brown hair was slightly wavy, not sure if that was on purpose or from the wind tonight. I felt comfortable with her, more comfortable than I usually do with a girl. Her eyes were brown and wide, and they looked honest, something that wasn’t common.

When we got to the front of the line, she grabbed for my hand naturally and pulled me towards the cart where the carnie was waiting for us with the little door open. Reese grabbing for my hand threw me off and I almost tripped.
Way to look like a dumbass, Garrison. It’s not like you have never held a girl’s hand before.
She tried to pull back and let go but I held on tight. I knew the truth about myself but I also knew I wanted to hold her hand and feel her close to me. When we got in our seats, I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. My adrenaline was still high from the band’s performance, and that’s the only thing that could account for my ignorance. I leaned in and took a smell of her hair making a memory of what she smelled like knowing she was never going to be mine.

Reese

Up in the air looking at the people under us and the beautiful stars above I couldn’t help but turn to look back at Garrison. The wind kept blowing my hair over my face so it was the perfect excuse for me to turn back without him thinking much of it. He reached for the hairs that blew into my lips and lightly moved them aside softly rubbing his thumb along my lips.

I could tell he was tense almost as if he was battling his inner thoughts. He had his arm around me, and he had pulled me close. I was in his little nook and was enjoying every bit of it. I fit perfectly in his embrace.

“Wow, the sky is so breathtaking tonight.”

“Yeah it really is. Not as…” He gulped.

“As?”

“You, Reese.”

I gulped not really paying any attention to the sky any longer. I was much more interested in Garrison.

The cart went around a few more times then it came to an abrupt stop sliding me even closer to Garrison. He put his arm that was not around me up to steady us protecting me. I leaned in more and looked up at his face. He looked down and I held my breath.

He asked, “Are you okay?”

I let my breath out and shook my head yes. He leaned his head down just a little bit to where he was angled right over my lips, and I closed my eyes getting ready for my first kiss ever. I moistened my lips nervously feeling how close he was with the anticipation killing me.
Kiss me!

Then I hear the door latch open and the carnie’s unwelcome voice. “Will you two lovebirds hurry up? I got people waiting in line here.” His voice sounded irritated now.

Crap, we are at the bottom.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t realize we were down already.” I got up and out of the cart as fast as my legs could carry me. I was so crushed and I wanted to hit my head up against a wall. I was so close…

I turned around after we got through the exit line. “Thanks for the ride, Garrison. I better go find Autumn and get home. It’s getting kind of late.”

“Okay,” he responded. I was shocked that was the only response he could think of? “Yeah I better get going too. I need to pack up my gear and help the rest of the band.”

How awkward!

“Reese…”  I looked back at him.

“I had fun tonight with you.”

“Me too, Garrison…”

I walked off and could feel him following me until he turned the other direction back towards where the band was set up. I headed straight to the parking lot and texted Autumn.

Reese: I’m ready to go. Where are you?

Autumn: I’m chilling with Dylan. Ryan never showed up. Where is Garrison?

Reese: I don’t know. Can we talk about that later?  My dad should be here in ten minutes.

Autumn: Heading your way now.

Garrison

I keep running Dylan’s and my conversation over and over in my head. I was talking to him, venting was more like it, after the Ferris wheel ride and parting from Reese. I was trying to hide my disappointment but he could see right through it. I was mad at myself for succumbing to my emotions but I can’t say I will regret it. Nothing short of a miracle could have stopped me from kissing her and I guess that miracle was us being interrupted.

“You did what?” Dylan asked for me to repeat myself as if he did not hear it correctly.

“You heard me. I was leaning in to kiss her and the carnie interrupted us.” I was smiling thinking of the moment.

“Wipe that grin off your face, dude! You look like a girl…”

I push him to show I wasn’t a girl, although that would normally be an insult and it wasn’t right now.

“So just kiss her already. If you like her, just make a move.”

“No… I told you, she is too good for me. She deserves everything to be just right for her. She’s different. A girl that deserves respect. Reese is not a girl that is just in it for a good time, if you know what I mean.”

“And you can’t do that for her?”

“I could but we both know I shouldn’t.” I bit on the side of my lip thinking. Could I? No, I can’t.

“You know I am going to tell you to go for it. I know you are going to say no, so why in the hell are we even having this conversation? Stop wasting my time.”

I haven’t been able to get what happened at the carnival off my mind and how I almost kissed Reese. I am positive I would have if the carnie wouldn’t have interrupted us. Although I knew, deep down, it was the right thing to pull back, but everything inside of me wants her. When I leaned in to kiss her before I heard the door rattling, I knew I was making a mistake. But I also knew I have never wanted something so badly in my life. I have always had total control when it comes to other girls and if I liked them I could keep it comfortable and physical, no emotions. Last night was just another sign of something I already knew, I was falling for Reese, which is just another reason why I need to distance myself.

Reese was in the hallway and I walked up behind her and took a deep breath. I knew I was going to have to say something.

I tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around with a big smile on her face.

“Hey, Garrison.”

“Reese.”

She moved a little bit closer to me but not too close keeping the distance after my reaction from this weekend.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize for this weekend. I have to be…”

“No explanation needed. It was time for us to go anyway. The carnie did us a favor keeping us from doing something you would regret. Garrison, I’m not the type of girl that dates a lot of guys. I’ve never even been out on a date. I’m not saying the other night was a date, I know it wasn’t but I guess I just read the signals wrong.”

I felt so bad… she read my signals right on. I just can’t tell her that.

“Reese...”

“No worries, really. I get it. We can be friends and it won’t happen again!”

“Friends.” I felt the lump in my throat and I wanted to punch something. Lucky me, I’m friends with Reese Owens.

Let’s just hope I can keep my mind and heart on that same track.

Reese

Cannon had been continually calling me to apologize for the party. He said he wasn’t thinking right and really wanted to take me out and make it up to me. I decided to give him another chance and see if he could be a good date one on one. I know he had an ego bigger than New York City but… Of course, if the night at the carnival would have turned out differently with Garrison, I would not be even considering this date. I had to teach my heart what to feel and it needed to know Garrison was off limits. He wants to be friends and no matter how my mind and heart are feeling something otherwise I have to let it go.

My parents had agreed to the date if they took me and dropped me off. I would have been embarrassed to tell Cannon this before but not now. I had planned on what I was going to wear from the second my parents said I could go. We were meeting at Cinema 3 at 7:15. He got to pick the movie and decided on a scary one I had never heard of. I didn’t like scary movies but I could just close my eyes during the bad parts. I wasn’t going to admit I was a big chicken. It would just be another strike against me.