Ana Seymour (4 page)

She pulled her finger out of the water and frowned at it. “Well, I told him no once, and he may not ask me again.” Barnaby was methodically pulling off the pieces of crust that had overlapped the edges of one of the tins and popping the bits of dough in his mouth. “Don’t burn yourself,” she cautioned.

“Oh, he’ll ask you again all right.”

Kate blushed. “How do you know that?”

“The way he looks at you…you know, all dopey eyed. And I heard Carter and Jennie talking about it. I guess it’s all right. It would be good for Caroline to have a pa.”

A slight shadow crossed his face. Like Caroline, Barnaby had been born illegitimately. Shortly after the baby’s birth he’d been so concerned about protecting her from the stigma he’d carried throughout his own short life that he’d tried to run away with her into the mountains. It had taken Carter, who also had been born to an unwed mother, to convince the boy that the love of a close-knit family like the Shendans could make up for the lack of a name.

Kate sensed the direction of the boy’s thoughts and leaned over to ruffle a hand through his reddish hair. “Caroline would do just fine without a pa, Barnaby. But I guess it would be nice for her to have one just the same.”

“Yeah. Caroline’d like that, I think. But you’d still be living here, wouldn’t you?”

Kate’s thinking hadn’t taken her that far. “I don’t know,” she said slowly.

Barnaby looked worried. “You can’t take Caroline away. We all love her.”

“I know, Barnaby. She loves you, too. But anyway, no one’s even talked about my getting married yet, so we won’t worry about it, all right? Now how about you take some of these pies into the dining room? Be sure to set them on a plate so they don’t scorch the table.”

He nodded and began to do as she asked, but his face was glum.

Barnaby’s dismal expression stayed with Kate as she and Sean drove up the gently sloping road that led west out of town to Pritchard’s Hill. She was less enthusiastic than she’d been earlier in the day anticipating the excursion. There was no doubt that the feeling she had had for Sean was returning. She recognized the symptoms—sweaty palms, a giddy sensation in her head, fullness in her chest. But things were more complicated than they had been eighteen months ago when she’d been a carefree girl discovering the beauty of young love.

“You’re quiet tonight, Katie,” Sean said, turning his head from the horses to study her.

“I’m sorry. Caroline awoke three times last night. I’m probably tired.”

Sean reached into her lap and seized one of her hands. “That wasn’t a reproach, sweetheart. No need to apologize.” He looked into the back of the buggy where Caroline was lying awake and wide-eyed, but peaceful. “I thought you told me she usually sleeps all through the night now. She’s not sick, is she?”

Kate shook her head. “No, but I think those new teeth coming in are bothering her a little. I rubbed some of Carter’s whiskey on them before we left tonight.”

“Whiskey!” Sean looked horrified.

Kate laughed. “Not to
drink.
Just rubbed on the gums. It won’t hurt her any.”

Sean was viewing his daughter with a critical eye
as if trying to identify signs of drunkenness. “I don’t know anything about babies, Kate,” he said finally with a sigh.

“Most people don’t until they get one. Then you learn fast.”

They’d reached the grove of old cedars where they had been accustomed to stopping during their visits here that first spring. “Shall we make it here, for old times’ sake?” Sean asked.

Kate’s heart sped up a little, but she nodded. “It’ll be too dark if we try to go farther.”

Sean sprang out of the carriage and was around to Kate’s side before she could climb out on her own. His arms came up around her waist and swung her down. When her feet touched the ground, she tried to take a step away, but he held her firmly against him, looking down at her. His eyes were slightly hooded, the nostrils flared. When he spoke, his voice was husky. “I won’t break my promise about waiting until you ask, but a kiss for old times’ sake would be nice, too.”

Their faces were only inches apart, and Kate could feel an actual tingling in her suddenly dry lips. She licked them. “I think we’d better eat,” she said. “Caroline will be fussing for her own supper before long.”

He released her instantly, his face impassive. “I’ll hand her down to you,” he said, boosting himself up on the side rails to reach for Caroline’s basket.

Kate felt the tension drain out of her as she busied herself preparing for the meal. They set out two blankets and let Caroline sit up in the middle of one, entertaining herself with the wooden blocks Dennis Kelly
had whittled for her. On the other, they set out the food Kate had packed. Sean had brought along a bottle of wine and two glasses. “This is for you, now, not the baby,” he joked as he handed her a glass.

Kate smiled. “In a manner of speaking, Caroline drinks whatever I do.”

Sean looked a little embarrassed by the reference. His eyes went to Kate’s full breasts, then slid away. “I don’t know much about that, either,” he mumbled, and began digging into one of the meat pies.

Dinner went quickly and with much laughter over Caroline’s antics as she crawled around trying to explore each item on the menu. Finally when they’d finished the last of the maple cakes for dessert, Kate took Caroline in her arms and said a little shyly. “I’m afraid I’ll have to feed her before we head back. She’ll be hollering up a fit before long if she doesn’t get her supper.”

Sean jumped to his feet and picked up the extra blanket. Folding it over three times he fashioned a little seat and propped it against the nearest cedar tree. “Will you be comfortable here or would you rather be in the buggy?”

Kate stood, still carrying the baby, who was beginning to squirm. “That will be fine.” She hesitated a moment, avoiding his eyes.

Sean walked over to her and took Caroline. “You make yourself comfortable there and do whatever you need to get yourself ready, and then I’ll hand her to you.”

Kate sank down onto the padded seat and arranged
her skirts around her. “I should have her blanket from the basket,” she said.

Sean nodded but still held the baby, waiting. When she made no move to unbutton her dress, he said, “I’ll go take a walk or something if you want me to, Kate, but I’d prefer to stay and watch my daughter with her mother.”

Losing a little of her self-consciousness, Kate undid the top of her dress, then reached up for Caroline. Sean retrieved the blanket and tucked it tenderly around the baby, who was already finding her dinner.

It seemed, after all, natural and sweet to sit in the darkening evening with Sean while their baby tugged at her breast. Sean’s eyes were mostly on her face, but every now and then he’d reach out a hand to stroke the back of the baby’s head ever so gently.

When she was finished, she sat Caroline on her knee and patted her back. “Let me do that,” Sean said, reaching for the baby.

“Careful, she might spit up,” Kate warned, and helped him arrange the blanket over his trousers in case of any sudden eruptions. She fastened up her dress, then sat back against the tree to watch Sean minister to their baby. The sight made her throat fill.

After several minutes, she said, “She’ll sleep now if you want to put her down in the basket.”

He smiled and gave Caroline a final hug, which she returned by putting her chubby arms around his neck. She made no protest as he put her down and carefully arranged the blanket around her.

“She’s half-asleep already,” he said, his voice tender and a bit awed.

The evening was beginning to grow cool. Kate untangled part of the blanket she was sitting on to wrap it around her shoulders. “We should be heading back, I guess,” she said sleepily. “But it’s nice here.”

Sean took a final look into Caroline’s basket, then went back to drop beside Kate, dragging the other blanket beneath him. “We can stay awhile longer, if you like. Jennie said you weren’t to worry about cleaning up at Sheridan House tonight.”

“She and Barnaby will handle everything just fine,” Kate agreed. “I don’t know what I would have done without them this past year.”

Sean stretched out on the blanket, propping himself on one elbow and looking up at her. “This past year when you should have had a husband with you to help in the burdens of bearing and raising your child.”

Kate looked down at him, her face serious. “Perhaps I was wrong not to contact you, Sean.”

“No ‘perhaps’ about it, Kate. But there’s no way to relive the past. The question is, what are we going to do now?”

The meat pie she’d eaten seemed to be stuck at the base of her throat. She remembered the conversation earlier with Barnaby, so certain that Sean would want to marry her. And as much as the young orphan hated the thought of losing Caroline, he’d thought she’d be better off with a father. “Why did you suddenly decide to come back, Sean? You’ve never really explained what brought you back here.” She held in a breath. Somehow the answer was vitally important to her.

Sean looked at her a long moment, his eyes unreadable
in the increasing dusk. “I’ve told you, Kate. I never stopped thinking about you in all these months.”

“Surely there have been others.”

He shook his head. “I’m not a saint, I guess you know that better than anyone. But none of them seemed to mean anything after you. Every time I was accosted by one of the society belles on Nob Hill hunting a socially acceptable husband, all I could think about was my sweetheart up in the mountains. And when I’d try to forget you by carousing in one of the gambling halls down by the waterfront, the painted ladies would turn my stomach and make me long for the fresh white skin and clear blue eyes of the beauty I’d left behind.”

She wanted to believe his sincerity. But she’d believed him once before when he’d talked of love everlasting. It hadn’t even lasted through the spring.

“I have more than my own heart to guard now, Sean. I have my daughter’s, as well.”

He was quiet for such a long time that Kate wondered if he was beginning to fall asleep. But suddenly he sat up, moved to her side and put his arms around her.

“I’m going to break my promise and kiss you,” he said. “I swear it’s the last promise to you I’ll ever break.”

W
hen he’d planned a drive away from town, Sean had anticipated that the privacy and distance would ignite the feelings that he and Kate had both been resisting for several days. But he’d planned to let her be the one to initiate things. He’d had every intention of continuing to play the role of gentleman until she gave him the word. But seeing her with his daughter had evoked emotions that he’d never before experienced. And when he’d heard the crack in her voice as she talked about entrusting him with her heart, he’d simply had to hold her. His mind, his body and something deeper than either of these were all combining to convince him that he could not live another second without feeling her in his arms.

Once she was there, nothing else seemed to matter. She’d not protested. In fact, she was willing and pliant. Within short moments, she was eager and yearning.

He kissed her, deeply, and she responded much more thoroughly than she had at her home the other day. So thoroughly that his entire body began to throb.
“Ah, Katie,” he murmured. “How I’ve missed this. You feel so very right to me.”

She lay back in his arms and smiled up at him, her eyes shining in the light of the rising moon. “You feel right to me, too, Sean. Remember, how I told you that first time.?”

He kissed her forehead, then each of her eyes. “I was the one you had waited for, you said. I remember every single detail of that night.”

“On this very hill.”

“Yes, up there beyond the boulder.”

They smiled at the shared memory. Then Sean renewed his caresses, kissing the tip of her chin, then underneath it and along the length of her neck. He tasted her earlobe, then whispered, “I thought I never could want anything as much as I wanted you that night, Katie, but I was wrong…because tonight I want you even more than I did then.”

She gave a little groan as she rocked against him, then asked, “Caroline?”

In an instant he released her, jumped to his feet and walked over to the carriage where he’d placed the baby’s basket on the seat. Before the night breeze could cool the warmth where his arms had been, he was back, rearranging the blanket as he joined her once again on the ground “We’ll hear her if she stirs. Right now she’s in dreamland.” He kissed her again, softly. “And I’m about to take her mother into a dreamland of a different sort.”

Kate had one last fleeting thought that she shouldn’t let herself be carried away. She had responsibilities now. She should be discussing Sean’s intentions, his
plans. But all she could think about was the feel of his lips on her face, his hands moving firmly along her rib cage and coming to rest gently alongside each of her breasts. “Is it all right?” he asked, sounding suddenly unsure. “You’re not too sensitive?”

She felt incredibly sensitive at the moment, but not in the way he meant. It seemed as if every inch of her was quivering, waiting to feel his touch. In response to his question she began unfastening her dress and pulled his head down toward her full breasts. “Make love to me, Sean,” she murmured. And as she said the words she felt an immense need begin to build in the lower portion of her body. She moved her legs restlessly against him.

He sensed her urgency and pressed a hand against her private parts through her dress as he began an onslaught of deep, rhythmic, slow kisses. She opened her mouth to his, grasped his back and moved against his hand, the sensation building so quickly that before she knew what had happened she’d tumbled over the edge into quick convulsions of release.

Sean gave a little chuckle and held her tightly. “It’s been so long,” she said, hiding her face against his shoulder.

“I’m glad,” he said in a fierce, low voice. “I’m glad no one else found you in all these months that I was foolish enough to leave you here by yourself. Now you’re mine again, Katie Marie. And this time I’m not letting you go.”

His declaration seemed to spur him to action. In short order he had discarded both her clothing and his own. Neither noticed the cool night air on their burning
skin. It was enough that they were together again, flesh against flesh, their mouths seeking each other with needy, almost desperate kisses, their hands touching everywhere, relearning the once familiar paths to passion.

“I love you,” Kate breathed without conscious thought as their bodies joined, and as they moved together and the feeling spiraled, the words spiraled, too, in her head. “Love you, love you, love you.” Until finally once again the wave of feeling broke over her, and this time Sean shared the moment, clutching her more tightly as he climaxed inside her.

Afterward they lay totally still for several long moments, each lost in private thoughts. Sean was the first to speak. “I’m sorry, Katie, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Kate froze, then felt her heart plunge. But even as she struggled to hold back the sob that rose in her throat, Sean continued, “I’d meant to get you to agree to marry me before we did this again.”

There was a rushing behind her ears. All the doubts that had surfaced earlier when she was talking to Barnaby and on the drive up here dissipated like dust in a rainstorm. She sank back against his arm and smiled with joy and relief. “Did you now?” she asked.

He tucked her snugly against him and kissed her cheek. “Caroline needs a father.”

Her smile dimmed a bit. She’d hoped for a more romantic declaration, but perhaps she shouldn’t be so particular. Sean
must
love her if he wanted to marry her. After all, he’d come back to Vermillion to find her before he knew anything about the baby.

He didn’t seem to notice her hesitation. Smiling at her, he gave her a playful kiss. “And who knows, we may already have started on a little brother for her. I’d say it’s more than high time we were married, young lady.”

She chuckled. “I’m not a young lady anymore, Sean. I’m a mother now.”

He stroked her soft skin from her shoulder to her hip. “No one would believe it, Katie. You’re more beautiful than ever.”

She moved beneath his hand with a murmur of contentment. “You truly want to marry me? I’m not dreaming this?”

He stopped his caress and rolled away from her. “We keep getting things backward, sweetheart. I wanted to do this proper, but I can’t think straight when I have you naked in my arms.”

He gathered up her clothes and handed them to her, then stood to don his own. He was dressed before she. The first stars had just begun to appear alongside the quarter moon in the dark sky. By their light, he helped her fasten up her dress and straightened her shawl around her. When she was properly attired, he dropped to one knee in front of her and took her hand. “Miss Kate Sheridan,” he said, his voice low and vibrant, “I would consider myself the luckiest man on earth if you would do me the honor of granting me your hand in marriage.”

Kate felt the tears smart her eyes and her nostrils. She nodded, then, unsure if he could see in the darkness, she said, “Yes. I do. I mean…I’ll
marry you.”
She laughed. “I don’t know what one’s supposed to say.”

He stood and took her in his arms to give her a chaste kiss. “The ‘yes’ was all I needed to hear.”

She leaned her head against his chest, her heart bursting with happiness. “I love you, Sean,” she said again. Perhaps this time he’d say the words himself.

“I almost forgot!” he said instead. He released her and began to fish in his watch pocket, finally drawing out a tiny ring box. “This is for you.”

She took the velvet case and opened it. Even m the darkness, the stones glittered in regal splendor. A spectacular diamond, completely encircled by smaller rubies. Kate looked up at him in amazement. “You didn’t get this in Vermillion.”

He laughed. “Lord, no. It’s from San Francisco. I brought it with me when I came. Are you thinking it was vain of me to be so sure I could persuade you to forgive me?”

She shook her head. What she was thinking was that this showed he really
had
come back for her, come back expressly to marry her. Which meant that his words about how he had never stopped thinking about her in all those months were true. “It’s so beautiful, Sean,” she said simply.

He took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger, then held her hand out to the moonlight so that they could admire it together. “It suits you, I think.”

Kate smiled and shook her head. “It’s far more elegant than anything I’ve ever owned or expected to own.”

“You can flaunt it in front of Mrs. Billngsley and
all those other self-righteous biddies who gave you a hard time about the baby.”

Kate dropped her hand to her side. “I’ll love the ring because you gave it to me, Sean, not for any other reason. I have no bitterness against those ladies. They were merely upholding the standards of propriety that they had been raised to believe in.”

“Well, they didn’t have to try to ruin your and Jennie’s lives because of it.”

“That’s all past. Everyone in town accepts me now. And our true friends have supported us all along.”

Sean shrugged, but said with a grin, “I’ll still look forward to seeing old lady Billingsley’s face when she sees it on you.”

Kate laughed. “I might get a tiny bit of enjoyment out of that sight myself.”

“He bought the ring in San Francisco, Jennie. You see what that means—he came back
intending
to marry me.”

Kate’s face was radiant with happiness. The two sisters were out in the little washhouse behind the main house, working on the seemingly endless task of washing linen. Dennis, Brad and Smitty came in filthy every night from the mine and went through several towels each. Carter’s prosecutor job was not as dirtying, but he was a fastidious man who also liked a daily bath. And Barnaby, though he would easily forgo the bathing process if the sisters would let him, managed to track m more dirt than the four adult men combined. With so many towels, along with the sheets and other
laundry, Kate and Jennie found themselves out at the washing shed almost every day.

“It’s too bad he couldn’t have done that a few months back,” Jennie said dryly. She seemed reluctant to endorse Kate’s sudden change of position on Sean. Of course, Jennie had been cynical about men in general before she’d fallen for Carter.

Kate picked up the ring, which she’d carefully set on a shelf while they scrubbed the clothes. “I never thought to have anything this pretty,” she said dreamily

“A pretty ring doesn’t make a marriage, Kate. Are you sure about this? Are you sure you won’t be too lonely way off in San Francisco?”

Kate’s expression dimmed. “Sean said we’d come for regular visits. And you can come to see us.”

“It’ll be hard for all of us to let little Caroline go. The first thing the silverheels do each night when they get home is go in to check on her. Carter, too. And you know Barnaby considers himself her personal protector.”

“I’ll always be grateful for that, Jennie. Caroline hasn’t felt the absence of a father because she’s had a whole household of them. But if she can have her
real
father, don’t you think that’s better?”

“I just hope Sean’s family will love you both as much as we do.”

“I’m sure they’ll be wonderful. Sean said he told them before he ever left that he was hoping to bring home a bride.”

“He
was
sure of himself, wasn’t he?”

Kate chuckled but then became serious. “You can’t
imagine how important this has been to me, sis. When he left me that spring, I thought I’d been foolish to believe that he loved me. But now I see that he really did love me all along. It just took him a bit longer to figure it out.”

Jennie’s smile was weak, but she walked around the wooden washtub to give her sister a hug. “He’d just better have it figured out now, because it’s a big responsibility to take on a wife and baby. If he’s not up to it, he’ll have to answer to the whole passel of us.”

“I can’t believe you would be such an idiot, Kate.” Lyle Wentworth was striding angrily up and down the front porch of the Sheridan house while Kate sat on the swing at one end trying to stay calm.

“And I can’t believe you would use that tone of voice to me, Lyle Wentworth. If you came here to shout, you can leave right now.”

He spun around and walked back toward her, his long face contrite. “I’m sorry, Kate, but, honestly, you’ve got to realize what a mistake you’re making. This man abandoned you when you were expecting his child.”

“We’ve been through that, Lyle. I’ve listened to Sean’s explanations and I’ve decided to forgive him. I’m sorry that this is disappointing you. I know you…”

“You know I’ve loved you my whole life. I’ve waited for you. When you had to be by yourself at the hospital in Virginia City, who was the one who stayed by your side? It sure as hell wasn’t your fast-talking rich boyfriend.”

Kate stood and faced him. “I’ve asked you to watch your language, Lyle.”

His eyes reflected his misery. “Don’t scold me, Kate Can’t you see how I’m suffering?”

“I’m orry, Lyle.” Ana she was truly sorry. Lyle

had been a help and comfort to her when she’d been so sick before Caroline’s birth, and he’d been a devoted visitor ever since. If she’d let him, he would have called on her daily. Frequently he arrived with trinkets for the baby, flowers for her or sweetmeats for their table. But she’d never been able to get over the feeling that Lyle viewed her as something he wanted to possess. As the only child of the town banker, he’d had everything he wanted his whole life—everything except Kate.

“Just take some more time to think about it, Kate. The guy’s been back less than a month. And you were together only a couple months in the first place. You don’t really know him that well.”

She could have told Lyle that she knew enough to realize that Sean’s kisses made her heart soar, whereas the few times Lyle had kissed her, she’d felt nothing. But such an admission would be too cruel to an old friend. “The heart is a funny thing, Lyle. Sean and I haven’t spent that much time together, but I love him. It’s as simple as that, really.”

They were still standing in front of the swing. Lyle grabbed the chain and moved it back and forth in frustration. “I think you’re wrong, Kate. Sometimes it’s not that simple at all. When you go into his world in San Francisco, you may find that love isn’t enough.
And by then it’ll be too late. All the people who love you will be too far away to help.”