Ancient Ties (32 page)

“Why did you leave me?” Leonidas unconsciously mimicked his father, bent forward, elbows on knees, hands dangling down between. His head swam. He wondered if he’d have the courage to ask that question. Maybe he could just run away again. Now.

His heart thundered, wanting and not wanting to hear the answer.

“Umm.”

Leonidas turned slightly. Was he finally going to get the answer to the question of his life? Solita had told him about his mother and how much his father had loved Mellona. She had tried to explain why Marek couldn’t go on when his wife died.

There was no way Solita could explain how his father could ignore him so completely for fifteen years.

“Umm? Is that all you can say? After all these years? Umm?”

Leonidas’ belligerence surprised even himself. He’d been hiding his bitterness and anger for too long. “Being a warrior hero was more important to you than I was? You never wondered about me? You never thought about…about…my feel…my…life?”

His hostility suddenly made him brave. This man was a stranger. Leonidas knew that Marek could order him back to Rome. Could beat him. The man killed people.

“Leonidas.” Marek leapt to his feet, obviously uncomfortable.

Leonidas also jumped up and made to turn away. He was not going to beg this man, father or not. He didn’t need him.

He’d never been a part of his life, and Leonidas could do without

him now. So, why did that hurt so much? Why was his heart breaking? Seasickness was nothing compared to this agony.

“Leonidas,” Marek said quietly, placing a hand on his son’s arm, a hand that was shaking. A hand that gripped too hard.

The younger man gazed at his father. He didn’t have to look up too far; they were of a similar height. This gave Leonidas a measure of confidence. Recognizing the pain in his father’s eyes also bolstered his courage. Suddenly, his father didn’t look so fearsome. In fact, his face seemed to crumble, his eyes squeezing shut, mouth opening in a silent wail. Leonidas tried to draw away in shock but Marek now gripped his arm with both hands.

“No,” an agonized cry. “Don’t go. Not yet. Please.”

Leonidas stilled, his whole system in shock. He had never seen a grown man become emotional. Women, yes. Solita, yes.

Never a man. This man was his father. Leonidas himself was causing it. Identical brown eyes finally connected. Son to father.

Father to son.

“Let me tell you about it,” Marek felt tortured. Felt ripped to pieces. It was all coming down on him now. Face to face with his son, and it was time for explanations.

Janney, where are you?
She had broken him open to this, damn her. If he hadn’t fallen in love…

Leonidas wrestled his arm away.

Marek jerked out of his thoughts. He knew full well that he had sacrificed Janney to his need to maintain his warrior status just as he’d sacrificed Leonidas. He’d gone back to battle to serve his ego. She had left him. Leonidas was here now. He wanted reasons. He deserved explanations. Running away hadn’t worked.

“I was wrong.” Marek looked directly, honestly into his son’s eyes. He blinked. Damn it to Hades, his eyes burned with unshed tears, the pressure in his chest almost doubled him over.

Gods, he’d made so many mistakes. “I am sorry. I was wrong to leave you.”

Leonidas appeared to freeze right in front of him, his eyes wide with astonishment. Marek had a premonition that only words would keep Leonidas at his side. The right words. Could he find the right words? He knew what he’d done and knew the reasons at the time. They were indefensible now. All his life he’d been a coward for running away from his son. He had fought, had been ruthless and dangerous in battle, to cover the fact that he was really a coward. All his life had been spent trying to prove his bravery and now was the time when he really needed courage.

“Let’s go back.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

Marek heard the disappointment in Leonidas’ voice. He was inadequate to this task. He’d hurt his son and didn’t know how to make it right. The boy deserved more.

“No, there’s more.” Marek gazed around as if suddenly realizing where they were and what time it was. “But Augusta will be worried about us. Especially you.”

Leonidas shook his head.

“And I need to bathe. We can talk there.”

Leonidas had been looking in the opposite direction, Marek’s gaze followed. He was watching a group of people, all shabbily dressed. A little boy ran up to the group and yanked a man’s tunic for attention. They both heard the child’s high-pitched plea.

“Father. Father.”

The boy held out his arms and the man, the father, laughed and hoisted him up to perch on his shoulders. Man and child.

Father and son. The faces of both suffused with joy. They didn’t look like they had much of their own in this world but they had each other.

Leonidas had stiffened, his eyes soft and moist as he watched the scene.

Marek stared at Leonidas for a long time. Gods. What had he done? So many years. Could Leonidas ever forgive him?

Could he forgive himself? Because of his selfishness and stubbornness, had he lost everyone?

Leonidas was here. He’d apparently traveled all the way from Rome to see him. Not because he was summoned, but because he wanted to see his father. Wasn’t that important?

Not that Marek deserved him. He really looked at him full on for the first time in five years. What a fine, tall, handsome boy. No, a man. Definitely a man.

“Solita did a good job in raising you,” Marek said suddenly.

Leonidas tore his gaze away from the family and peered at his father. “You said you invited both of us. Solita didn’t come.”

“No.”

“Did you want her to?”

Pain jolted through Marek, pinching his heart. He wanted Janney, and only Janney. She was gone. Had disappeared back into the future. At least he hoped she wasn’t wandering somewhere in between centuries. Pray to the Gods that she got home.

Mission River, Iowa

As four months of the school year passed and the Christmas holidays approached, Janney still felt distracted. Her best friend, Judy, who saw her every day at school, asked even more questions than her mother had. Janney and Judy perched on window seats in their favorite coffeehouse, the holiday bustle around them loud enough to keep their conversation private.

“Did you meet someone over there? What happened? You’ve been in a funk since you got back. Not yourself.”

Janney stared out the window, not really seeing anything at all. All she would, or could, say was, “I don’t know, Judy. I doubt I’ll be seeing him again.” She was pretty sure that was the truth, at least the truth as she knew it. Because of the dreams, she didn’t really know what to think anymore.

“But you did meet someone?” This was the closest Judy had come to discovering her secret.

“Nothing major went on. It wasn’t important.” Janney tried to deflect her friend. The necklace. She wore it every day.

Assumed it was costume jewelry that she probably bought in a gift shop. The cuff, too. It sat on her dresser. They were really beautiful.

“Well, have you seen Ed yet?” Judy asked. “You know he broke up with that woman.” Judy’s disdain was quite evident.

“Um, I didn’t know,” Janney shuddered. “Serves him right.”

“I’ll bet he comes around to check up on you again.” Judy wasn’t shy in telling Janney right where she stood on almost any subject, including Janney’s love life.

“Oh, I don’t think he’ll come around me again. He’ll move on to someone else. He can have his pick of women.”

“But you wouldn’t want him back, would you? He’s such a worm.”

“No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t trust him. And really, he wasn’t even very good in bed.” Both women gasped at the same time. Janney’s hand flew to cover her lips, embarrassment quirking them into a smile. Judy’s mouth formed a perfect O, her eyes wide. Janney giggled. She had never said anything like that about Ed before.

“I wondered about that,” said Judy, laughing, too. “He’s so self-absorbed. I don’t see him as caring about anyone’s pleasure but his own.”

“No,” Janney sighed and raised an eyebrow. Deep in thought for a moment, she finally said without thinking, “Not like…” Stopping suddenly, she cocked her head, squeezed her eyes shut while heat swirled around her as if a fire had been lit under the stool. Oh, God, now her senses were swamped in the daytime. Wonderful, vivid, erotic thoughts slid over her skin, tickling her. More than tickled her. Shocked her. Distracted her.

“Not like who?” Judy jumped on Janney’s statement. “There was someone.”

Janney didn’t answer.

“Well, I hope…umm…I mean, I hope you had a good time.”

Janney tried to ignore her friend’s hurt feelings. She and Judy had been best friends since the second grade. Janney had never been so secretive, but she couldn’t quite open up enough to talk about…him.

One day after school, Judy strolled into Janney’s room while Janney straightened up the rows of desks, neatened books, and wrote ‘Save’ near some arithmetic problems on the blackboard.

“There’s a new man in school. Started today.”

“Is he your type?” asked a distracted Janney.

“No, silly. Walt might be kind of upset.”

“Oh, right.” This just proved how befuddled Janney had become. How could she forget Judy’s husband?

“Come with us. We’re taking him out for a welcome drink.”

“Gee, Judy, I can’t. I have to run errands and have a lot of papers to correct. Maybe, next time. Tell him welcome, though.” This was the last thing Janney needed right now.

“Are you sure? He’s nice, good looking, and divorced.”

“You know all this stuff about him already, and he just started? What’d you do, grill him at recess?” Janney laughed in spite of herself. Judy never let an opportunity pass her by. It didn’t matter what the opportunity could lead to, she just took advantage of them all.

“He’s a little older than we are, and divorced. He mentioned that this was his second career. He used to be in the Army.”

Aquae Sulis

Marek leaned back in the bathing pool, his head resting on the uncomfortable stones. Thank Jupiter that Gaius can afford his own bath in his home. Marek was in no mood or shape to trek to the public baths. Eligius and another servant had given Marek and Leonidas rubdowns. Through slitted eyes, he watched Leonidas swim from one end of the pool to the other, lap after lap. He never seemed to tire. Of course, he was fifteen and had all the energy in the world. He wasn’t a shattered old man like his father.

What had happened to his life? He’d been, if not happy, at least content with his lot. Janney…no, it started before her, if he was honest with himself. If he believed the Gods brought her to him, then he had to believe they had a hand in his breakdown on the battlefield. The collapse that led to his sending for Leonidas and Solita.

He wasn’t surprised that Solita hadn’t made the journey.

Their relationship had never meant anything to either of them.

They both got what they wanted from each other. Leonidas was considered a grown man and should make his own way now.

Apparently, he made his way to Britannia.

What a magnificent boy he’d become. A man now. Marek searched Leonidas’ features for signs of Mellona. There weren’t many. A straight, fine nose. Sculpted lips more like hers than manly like his. Marek snorted at that. He wasn’t exactly the type of man who looked at his own lips or any of his features.

Janney had loved his lips, and she proved it. Before he could catch himself, thoughts of her took over. He could almost feel her fingers tracing his lips or nibbling at them with her own.

Damned woman!

He’d love her to meet Leonidas. Marek scrubbed his face with both hands, growling his anger and frustration. She should have waited for him. Now, it was too late. Marek closed his eyes in despair. He could have had both of them. Janney and Leonidas.

“Marek?”

He watched as Leonidas tentatively approached him. What he said in the next few minutes would be probably the most important talk he could have with his son.

His son. That sounded good. Leonidas called him “Marek.”

Not father or sir. Marek. Well, that was his name. He didn’t deserve either of the other two.

Leonidas was looking at him. Questions obviously brimming over. Probably fearing the answers.

“My father was a soldier.” Marek stared into the deep brown, younger version of his own eyes.

“Is that why you are?”

“It’s all I wanted to be.” Marek visibly winced at the look of disappointment on Leonidas’ face. Then he traveled back. In his mind, he conjured up the distant past.

“I was so happy when I found out that your mother was carrying a child.”

Leonidas looked down, up, away from his father. It helped Marek to talk. As if a dam broke free, the words spilled out.

“I loved your mother with everything I had. Did Solita tell you about her?”

Leonidas nodded, obviously miserable and enthralled at the same time.

“Solita and Mellona were very close friends so she would know what your mother was like.”

“Sweet. Solita said she was sweet and happy,” Leonidas ventured. “And she said my mother loved you more than life.”

Marek was lost then. Lost in his own memories. After a pause, he added, “Beautiful. She was beautiful, and delicate.”

What he couldn’t say out loud, not to her son, was that Mellona had been too small to carry a child.

That was where Marek’s guilt lay. He filled her belly with a child, and she died giving birth. There was no way to explain this to the child who survived.

“You wished…” Leonidas voiced his question low and haltingly. Despairingly. “You didn’t want me without her?”

Marek felt like the lowest creature. He had punished the innocent child. He’d thought he was running from Mellona’s death but he’d actually run from his guilt at abandoning the son she had given her very life to bring into the world.