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Authors: Lucy Gordon

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She slid down into the bed again, stretching luxuriously, and he joined her, laughing. Then he saw something on the side table that made him stare.

‘Hey, what's this? Ming Zhi?' He took the little panda in his hand. ‘You brought her with you?'

‘I like to have her near as a reminder not to get carried away,' Olivia said.

He raised eyebrows. ‘What happened last night?'

‘I gave her time off.'

He set Ming Zhi down again and lay back, wrapping Olivia in his arms.

‘If she's still off-duty, perhaps I should make the most of it.'

He didn't wait for her to answer, but covered her mouth forcefully and proceeded to ‘make the most of it' in a way that left her no chance to argue even if she'd wanted to.

It was a riotous loving, filled with the sense of discovery that two people know when they have answered the first question and are eager to learn the others. This was an exploration, with more sense of adventure than tenderness, and when it was finished they were both gasping.

‘I need my breakfast,' Lang said in a faint voice. He was lying flat on his back, holding her hand. ‘Then I think I'll come back to bed.'

‘Nonsense!' she declared in a hearty voice that made him wince. ‘When the boat makes its first stop we're going to get out and do some sensible sight-seeing.'

‘Not me. I'm staying here.'

‘All right. You stay and I'll go. It'll give me a chance to get to know that very tall young man who came aboard in the same group as us.'

‘You're a cruel woman. Help me up.'

 

They became conventional tourists, joining the crowds to see the sights, but always chiefly aware of each other. They were the first back on board, declaring themselves exhausted and badly in need of a siesta. Then they vanished for the rest of the afternoon.

‘What shall I wear tonight?' she mused as they were dressing for dinner.

She held up the figure-hugging
cheongsam
and, to her surprise, he shook his head.

‘I thought you liked it.'

‘I do,' he said. ‘When we're alone. But if you think I want every other man in the place gawping at you…'

‘Fine, I'll wear it.'

From this he could not budge her. The ensuing argument came close to being their first quarrel, but the knowledge that he was jealous was like heady wine, driving her a little crazy.

When she was dressed, he growled, ‘Don't even look at anyone but me,' clamping his arm around her waist to make his point.

‘I wasn't going to,' she assured him. ‘Unless, of course, I get up onstage.'

‘Why should you do that?'

‘They're having a talent contest for the passengers. I thought I'd do a striptease.'

‘Try that and I'll toss you over my shoulder and carry you off caveman-style.'

‘Mmm, is that a promise?'

‘Wait and see.'

The boat was equipped with a tiny nightclub, with a stage just big enough for modest entertainment. One by one people got up and sang out of tune, to the cheers of their friends.

‘Hey!' A young man tapped Lang on the shoulder. ‘There's a group of us going to sing a pop song. Want to join us?'

‘Thank you, but no,' Lang said. ‘I can't sing.'

‘Neither can we, but it won't stop us. Aw, come on. Don't you know how to have a good time?'

‘I am having a good time,' Lang said, polite but unmoved.

The young man became belligerent. He had a good-natured, if slightly oafish face, but had drunk rather too much.

‘You don't look it to me. It's supposed to be a party. Come on.'

Lang made no reply but merely sat with an implacable
smile on his face. At last the oaf gave up and moved away, but not before one parting shot to Olivia.

‘I feel sorry for you, luv, know what I mean? A wimp, that's what he is.'

Olivia could have laughed out loud at such a total misreading of Lang. But she only looked the man in the eye, smiled knowingly and shook her head. He understood at once and backed off.

‘More to him than meets the eye, eh?' he queried.

‘Much, much more,' she said significantly.

‘Ah, well, in that case…'

He took himself off.

Lang eyed her. ‘Thank you, dragon lady, for coming to my defence.'

‘Don't give me that. You don't need me or anyone defending you.'

‘True, but it's nice to know that you don't consider me a wimp. Our vulgar friend can think what he likes.'

‘Well, you know exactly what he's thinking.'

He grinned. ‘Yes, thanks to you he believes I'm a cross between Casanova and Romeo.'

‘He's not the only one. Look.'

Their tormentor had joined his fellows on the stage and was whispering to them urgently, pointing in Lang's direction.

‘Oh, no!' Lang groaned. ‘What have you done?'

‘Given you a really impressive reputation.' She chuckled. ‘You should be grateful to me.'

‘Grateful? Let's get out of here.'

He hastily set down his glass, grabbed her hand and drew her away with more vigour than chivalry. By now the entire audience seemed to be in the know, and they were pursued by whistles of envy and appreciation.

Lang almost dragged her down the corridor and into their suite, where he pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely, both laughing and complaining together.

‘Olivia, you wretch! I'll never be able to show my face again.'

‘Nonsense, you'll be a hero.' She chuckled, kissing him between words.

‘Come here!'

He drew her firmly down on the bed and lay on top of her, pinning her down, his eyes gleaming with enjoyment.

‘Perhaps we should discuss this,' he said.

‘Mmm, I'd like that. But you know what?'

‘What?' he asked with misgiving.

‘You're acting in exactly the kind of he-man style that they're imagining.'

‘Oh,
hell!
'

He rolled off her but she immediately followed until she'd rolled on top of him, thanking her lucky stars that the bed was wide enough for this kind of frolicking.

‘Now it's my turn to be the he-man,' she informed him.

‘I didn't think it worked that way.'

‘It does when I do it.'

He gave her his wickedest look. ‘I'm at your mercy, dragon lady,' he said with relish.

‘You'd better believe it.'

She began to work on his shirt buttons, opening them swiftly until she could run her hands over his chest. By the violent tremors that went through him she could tell that he loved it, but he made no move to do the same for her.

‘Are you going to just lie there?' she demanded indignantly.

‘What else can I do? I am but a mere wimp, awaiting orders.'

‘Well,' she said, breathing hard, ‘my orders are for you to go into action.'

‘Right!'

One swift, forceful movement was enough to demolish the front of her dress. Then she was on her back, having the rest of her clothes ripped away.

‘To hear is to obey,' he murmured, tossing aside his own clothes and settling on top of her.

They fought it out, laughing, loving, challenging, bickering amiably, then doing it all again until they fell asleep in each other's arms, happy and exhausted.

It was a good night.

 

Now and then the boat stopped and everyone went ashore for an excursion to a temple, or to view one of the famous Three Gorges dams. Lang and Olivia joined these expeditions but they were always glad to get back on board.

In the privacy of their suite they could enjoy not merely love-making but talk. To both of them it was a special joy that their pleasure in each other was not confined to passion. Huddled close, they could explore hearts and minds in sleepy content.

Olivia found herself talking about her fractured life as she'd never done before, except with Norah.

‘You said once that I was my mother's mother, and you were right. My parents are just like a couple of kids. It can seem charming, until you see all the people they've let down.'

‘Mostly you,' Lang said tenderly.

‘Yes, but there's a queue that stretches behind me—Tony, my mother's second husband, her step-children by that marriage, her child by Tony—my half-brother. He's about fourteen now and beginning to realise what she's like. He calls me sometimes for advice. I do my best, but I've never told him the worst she's capable of.'

She fell silent. At last Lang said, ‘Tell me, if you can.'

‘I was about twelve. It was December and I was getting all excited about Christmas. I was staying with Norah, but Dad and I were going to Paris together. I got ready, everything packed, and waited for him. When he was late I went outside and sat on the wall, looking for his car to appear at the end of the road, but he didn't come.

‘Norah called him, but all she got was the answer machine. We tried his mobile phone but it was switched off. I suppose I knew in my heart that he wasn't coming, but I wouldn't face it. At last, hours later, he called to see if I was having a great time with my mother. I said, “But I'm supposed to be with you.” Then it all came out about Evadne, his new girlfriend. She'd begged him to take her to Paris instead of me, and been very persuasive, so he'd left a message on my mother's phone to say she'd have to have me. He seemed terribly surprised that she hadn't turned up.'

Lang swore violently and rolled over away from her, his hands over his face. Then he rolled back and took her in his arms. ‘I will kill him,' he muttered over and over. ‘Don't ever let me meet your father or I will kill him. Hold onto me—hold me.'

It felt so good to embrace him, to bury her head against his shoulder and blot out everything else, as though he had it in his power to put the world right.

‘So you had to spend Christmas with your mother?' he said at last.

‘Oh, no, she didn't get his message until she'd left to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend—at least, she said she didn't. So neither of them came for me and I spent Christmas with Norah.'

He seized her again and this time it was he who hid his face in her shoulder, as though her pain was unbearable to him.

‘How did you survive?' he murmured.

‘Part of me didn't. I learned not to trust people, especially when they talked about their feelings. I thought Andy was different, but he was just the same.'

‘Was he the only one?'

‘You mean, have I had other boyfriends? Oh, yes. I dipped my toe in the water a few times, but only my toe. I always got cautious before I went too far. It doesn't take much to turn me back into that little girl sitting on the wall, watching for someone who never appeared. In my heart—' she shuddered ‘—I always know that's going to happen.'

‘Never,' he said violently. ‘Never, do you hear me? I'm yours for life. Or at least for as long as you want me. No, don't answer.' He laid a swift hand over her lips. ‘You can't promise life, not yet. I know that. But I'll be patient. Just remember that I'm always here.'

‘Always,' she murmured longingly.

Always?
queried the voice in her head. If only.

But held in his arms she could believe in anything, and she clung to him in desperate hope.

CHAPTER NINE

S
OMETIMES
he teased her about her preference for good sense.

‘If I really believed in good sense I'd never have come anywhere near you,' she said indignantly.

‘You're trying to reform me. I realised that ages ago.'

‘I'm not having much luck, am I? Sometimes I doubt myself. You know those marvellous roofs you see on old buildings, the ones that curve up at the corners? I read that it dates back to a Buddhist belief about evil residing in straight lines, so they should be avoided if possible.

‘But another book talked about architecture and rainfall, and how the curve was precisely calculated to give maximum benefit to the building. I hated that. I like the Buddhist interpretation much better.'

Lang's response was to lift Ming Zhi from beside the bed, and address Olivia severely. ‘You're slipping. That kind of sentimentality isn't what I engaged you for.'

They laughed, cocooned in the safe refuge they offered each other. Their laughter ended in passion.

Another time Olivia recalled the night she'd met the Langs, and had seen him in the context of both his families.

‘They say a picture's worth a thousand words,' she murmured. ‘You told me how out of place you felt with your
English family, but it only became real when I saw the photograph of you all together. You looked exactly like them, but I could still see you were a fish out of water.'

‘That's putting it mildly,' he said. ‘But, looking back, I feel sorry for them.'

‘Sorry for
them
?'

‘I know I was difficult. In some ways I'm not a very nice character. You said I looked like a misfit with them, and that was how I felt. But in my mind it was they who were the misfits, and I was the one who'd got it right, which isn't very amiable in a fifteen-year-old boy.'

‘No, but it
is
very typical of fifteen-year-old boys,' she riposted. ‘So you were a grumpy adolescent—join the club.'

‘That's one way of looking at it,' he said with a self-mocking smile. ‘The other way is that I'm stubborn, inflexible and set on my own way. Once I want something I won't give up. Everyone else becomes the victim.' He tightened his arms around her. ‘As you have cause to know.'

‘Mmm, I'm not complaining.'

‘Good, because I've got you and I'm going to keep you.'

‘Do I get a say about that?' she teased.

‘Nope, you have nothing to say about it. You belong to me, understand?'

She couldn't resist saying, ‘You mean, like Jaio belonged to the Emperor Qin?'

‘No way. She escaped. You'll never escape me.'

‘What, no gallant warrior to ride to my rescue?'

‘The man who could take you away from me hasn't been born.'

‘What happened to being patient and letting me decide in my own time?'

‘That was then. This is now.'

She chuckled. ‘That's all right, then. I'll forgive you if
you're a bit overbearing, or even a lot overbearing. Which you most definitely will be. Anything else you want to warn me about?'

He kissed her, adding thoughtfully, ‘Plenty. Take my career—I want to be the best. I have to be the best, whatever it means.'

‘This job that's coming up?'

‘Yes. I've set my heart on it.'

‘But you've only been here three years. Aren't you rushing it?'

‘I know the other likely candidates and they don't worry me. Besides, the present incumbent hasn't retired yet, and probably won't for another year. I'll be patient until then.'

The unconscious arrogance of that ‘I'll be patient' told her he was speaking the truth about himself. He was still the man who'd won her heart, gentle, charming, humorous. But she was learning that his apparent diffidence masked a confidence and determination so implacable that he himself was made uneasy by it. He flinched from it, tried to disguise it, but it was the unalterable truth.

As long as he was determined to keep her with him, she was happy to live with it.

Life wasn't entirely smooth. On the night after the talent contest there was a dance for the passengers. Wanting to dazzle him, Olivia did herself up to the nines, including wearing one of the dresses she'd bought at the last minute before their departure. It was another
cheongsam
, this time in black satin embroidered with silver, and even more alluring than the last, which made Lang eye her wryly.

‘You wouldn't be trying to make me jealous by any chance, would you?' he murmured.

‘Think I couldn't?'

‘We'll have to see.'

She soon realised her mistake. The events of the night before had given Lang a reputation guaranteed to fascinate everyone there. The girls lined up to dance with him. Their men lined up to prevent them. When they couldn't do that they danced with Olivia instead, hoping to aggravate him.

But they had mistaken their man, as Olivia could have told them. Lang seemed oblivious to everything except the succession of women in his arms, which was obviously the clever way to react, even if she did find it personally aggravating.

Watching him from a slight distance, she could admire his graceful, athletic movements. With her imagination heightened to fever pitch she mentally undressed him, feeling those same movements against her, not dancing but loving her powerfully. Her own dancing became more erotic, something she couldn't have controlled if she'd tried. And she wasn't trying.

Just once he looked directly at her and their gazes locked in the perfect comprehension that so often united them. He was doing the same as she, teasing and enticing until they were ready to haul each other off the floor and into bed. Excitement streamed through her, making every nerve tingle with anticipatory pleasure. If only he would make his move soon.

Meaning to urge him along, she allowed herself a little extra wiggle. The result was all she hoped. Lang bid his partner a hasty goodbye, made it across the floor at top speed and hoisted her into his arms.

‘You've gone too far,' he said firmly.

‘I hope so. Better too far than not far enough,' she said, reminding him of his own words in the zoo.

By this time they were halfway down the corridor. When they reached the door of their suite, Olivia opened it and
Lang kicked it shut behind them. When he tossed her onto the bed she reached up to undo the
cheongsam
.

‘No,' he said, removing her hands. ‘That's my job.'

‘Then get on with it,' she ordered him, edgy with frustration.

He needed no further urging. By the time he'd finished the dress was in tatters on the floor, followed by her underwear. When they were both naked he drew back, breathing heavily, kneeling beside her on the bed. His arousal was hard, almost violent, yet he had the control to stop there, looking down at her with a glint in his eyes that was new.

‘You promised to throw me over your shoulder,' she reproached him. ‘What happened?'

‘I'm a gentleman,' he said in a rasping breath.

‘Nah, you're a coward. If you'd kept me waiting any longer, I'd have thrown you over
my
shoulder.'

‘That's because you're no lady.' He lay down beside her until his lips were against her ear. ‘I watched you dancing all night, and believe me you are
no
lady.'

She gave a sigh of deep contentment. ‘I'm glad you realise that.'

His hands were touching her, but differently from before. The movements were fiercer, more purposeful, as though something that had been holding him back had disappeared, releasing him. Now he loved her with a driving urgency, with power, as well as skill, conquering and taking where once he would have waited for her to give.

At the end she was exhausted but triumphant. She'd always suspected that this forceful arrogance was one of the mysteries that lay behind his mild manners, and there was deep satisfaction in having tempted it out at last.

‘Are you all right?' he asked quietly. ‘I hadn't meant to be quite so—adventurous.'

The other Lang was back, the quiet one with perfect man
ners. But she'd seen beyond him now, and she liked what she'd discovered.

‘Perhaps we should try it that way a few more times,' she said with a contented smile. ‘I rather enjoy not being a lady.'

He laughed. ‘Were you actually trying to make me jealous tonight?'

‘I suppose I was,' she said in a pensive voice. ‘But you did quite a bit yourself.'

‘You couldn't expect me to ignore your challenge.'

‘But it's not fair. I have so much more to be jealous of than you.'

‘You think I'm not jealous of Andy?'

‘Who? Oh, him. You shouldn't be. You know all about him, and I know nothing about your love life—unless you expect me to believe you've lived like a monk.'

She thought he paused a little before saying lightly, ‘Certainly not. I told you about Becky Renton—perhaps not everything, but—'

‘Spare me the details of what happened behind the bicycle sheds at school. I don't even want to know about the girls you took to the Dancing Dragon.'

‘I explained.'

‘Yes, I remember your explanation—very carefully edited, which was probably wise of you.'

He regarded her wryly. ‘Do you want chapter and verse?'

Warning bells went off in her mind. This was straying into dangerous territory.

He was lying on his back with Olivia on her stomach beside him with a clear view of his face and its suddenly withdrawn look. Two instincts warred within her. She was curious about his life yet reluctant to sound like a jealous nag.

Let it go
, she thought. She'd just had the clearest demonstration of what she was to him.

‘Of course I don't want chapter and verse,' she said firmly. ‘I know you must have played the field. It would worry me more if you hadn't.'

She put an arm about his neck and lay over him, her face against his shoulder, feeling him curve his arm to hold her more closely.

‘There is one I'd like to tell you about,' he said at last. ‘So that there are no secrets between us.'

‘All right. Go on.' Now the moment was here she only wanted to back away, but it was too late.

‘I was like you for a long time,' he said. ‘I never let myself get too far into a relationship. I knew where I was heading and I didn't want anything to get in the way. But a few months before I left England I fell in love with a girl called Natalie.

‘Everything seemed perfect. We planned to get married and come to China together. But one day I found her looking through advertisements for houses, hoping to buy one for us to live in. When I reminded her about China, she laughed and said, “Isn't it time to be realistic?”

‘I understood then that she'd never really meant to come with me. She'd thought of it as nonsense that I'd get over. When she realised that I was serious, she became angry. She forced me to choose between her and China, and so—' He paused. ‘And so we said goodbye.'

Olivia had raised herself so that she could look down at him. He turned his head to look at her, and now she wished she could read what was in his eyes.

‘Did you ever regret letting her go?' She had to ask, although she feared the answer.

‘She'd been deceiving me all that time, keeping a distance between us when I'd thought we were so close. Our minds would always have been apart.'

‘But if you loved her—it's not just minds, is it?'

He glanced at her naked body leaning over him, the beautiful breasts hanging down so that the nipples touched him, and he caressed them gently.

‘No,' he said softly, ‘it's not just minds. But you and I have everything—minds, as well as hearts and bodies. Have you not felt that?'

‘Yes, from the first moment.'

‘You would never hide your thoughts from me, or I from you. I didn't tell you about Natalie before because I was afraid you would misunderstand and think it had more importance than it has.'

‘And how much does it have?'

‘Some, for a while. But now none at all. She married someone else last year, and I'm glad for her. If we'd married it would have been a disaster, because we would each have wanted something the other could never give. There's nothing there to make you jealous. The wisest thing I ever did was to wait for you.'

She lay down against him, reassured and content. It wasn't until the last moment that it occurred to her that there was something ominous in the story, but before she could think of it she was asleep.

 

Only one person was welcome in their secret world, and that was Norah.

The boat had a computer link-up and Olivia had brought her laptop. Now they both enjoyed going online to her. She and Lang would embark on a chat as though taking up where they'd left off only a few minutes before. Norah liked him as she had never liked Andy, Olivia realised.

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