And the Desert Blooms (5 page)

His hands slipped inside the loosened dress. “Naked,” he said hoarsely. “There was nothing in the world more erotic than knowing that you were naked beneath that flimsy layer of silk.” His hands were squeezing her waist, his fingertips running over the supple muscles with a pleasure that was echoed in his voice. “While we were sitting there at the table I was thinking how beautiful you’d look when I took it off you.” His hands moved slowly up her back, and with painstaking care he pushed the silk off her shoulders. “I don’t know what we ate this evening.” He pushed the bodice down another inch until it hovered over the tips of her breasts. “All I could taste were warm, sweet breasts.” He drew the silk farther down until it fell about her hips. She felt dizzy. “And I wondered if the rest of you would taste as sweet.” He suddenly jerked the material over her hips and let it fall into a pool at her feet, leaving her in only her high-heeled sandals. “Look as sweet.”

Then the sandals also slipped from her feet as his hands encircled her waist and lifted her out of the dress. He held her for a moment, rubbing her against him with a raw sensuality that made her heart pound wildly. “And you do look sweet.” He kissed her deeply. “And you taste . . .” He lifted his head, his eyes glazed with need. He drew a deep, shaky breath and slowly released her. “Not yet. I want to look at you for a few minutes. This golden half light was created for you.” He took a few steps back, his eyes flicking over her with an intimacy that caused a tingling to start between her thighs. His hands finished unbuttoning his shirt and he stripped it off, his eyes never leaving her. “I don’t want to make love to you in the dark. I want to do it now with you awash in this golden mist. I want to watch your silver hair flying around your face as I move in you.”

She laughed shakily. “Then you’d better hurry. I don’t know how long this light will last.” She bit her lower lip. “I don’t know how long I will, either. Do you want me to undress you?”

“I’ll do it. It’s faster.” She watched him as he stripped with efficient swiftness. He had a beautiful body, she thought dreamily. Lean and tough, with tight, hard buttocks and a horseman’s strong, muscular thighs. The cloud of dark hair on his chest looked soft and inviting to touch. “And that’s the last hurried action we’re taking tonight. Slow. Every move slow and easy.” He was drawing her over to the wing chair by the French doors. “I want to play with you, get to know your body. I don’t know how long I can stand it, but I want to try. Would you mind?”

“Not at all.” She didn’t know if he heard. Her assent had been a mere breath of sound. She was surprised the words came out at all.

“Good.” He dropped into the chair and pulled her down on his lap, facing him. She gasped. The masculine hardness of his bones and sinews was a sensual shock against her softness. She had never felt so womanly before in her life. She was conscious of the pliant softness of each curve, the ripe fullness of her breasts, the slight swell of her buttocks against the hardness of his thighs. Good heavens, the differences between their bodies! He rubbed his chest lightly, teasingly, against her breasts, the soft mat of hair tickling the sensitive tips. She made a low sound deep in her throat and arched against him. “Philip.”

“I know.” He was undulating like a cat against her, his eyes closed with an expression of pleasure so sensual that it was an arousal in itself. “It’s too much, isn’t it? It’s killing me too. I feel as if I’m going to explode any moment. Just a little more. Lord, you feel good against me.” His eyes opened and they were clouded with a smoky intensity. His entire body was hardening against her, muscles taking on a tension that was unbearably exciting for her to feel. He kissed her temple. “Be very still. I want to pet you a little. It won’t be long.”

Then his hand was running over her with a skilled sensitivity that caused tremors to rack her with every deft stroke. His long, tanned fingers were lifting her breasts, rubbing the undersides with smooth gentle rhythm. She could feel the muscles of her stomach clench. The tension was rising within her until it was painful.

“So pretty.” His hand moved down to her stomach. He laughed softly as he felt the tautness beneath his palm. “You’re wanting me, aren’t you? Do you know how wonderful that makes me feel? How much do you want me?” His fingers moved exploringly down between her thighs, and she gasped as they entered with one smooth stroke and began to move. She buried her head against his chest, her breathing coming in little pants. Unbelievable. It was unbelievable. “I think you want me quite a lot,” he said thickly. His other palm was stroking the soft nest of curls, pulling, probing, tugging gently. “But not as much as I want you. It’s a physical impossibility. I’m going to go up in smoke in another second. I’ve never wanted a woman like this before. It’s tearing the guts out of me.”

Even through the haze that was enveloping her she was conscious of the thread of anger beneath the hoarseness of his voice. Poor Philip, she thought vaguely. He always liked to be in control, but he was caught in the same sensual web that she was. Her lips moved lovingly on his shoulder. “It’s all right, Philip. Everything will be fine.”

He glanced down at her in surprise. Then, for a moment, there was an expression of exquisite gentleness that transformed the taut hardness of his face. “Yes, everything will be all right,” he said huskily.

His arms shifted and tightened, and suddenly he was standing, carrying her toward the bed. He placed her on the cool, silk counterpane, and followed her down. His thighs were on either side of her. She could feel the thin dusting of hair against her own smoothness. Different. So beautifully different.

“Do you know what I’m seeing when I look at you?” he whispered. “Gold. Satin gold skin, silver gold hair.” His fingers combed slowly through the thick length of her tresses before bringing two silky locks forward and winding them around her breasts so that only her nipples were revealed. “Just these lovely things are pink.” He bent forward, his teeth pulling gently on one taut peak.

He was golden too. The light streaming through the French doors gave his bronzed skin a shining patina and played over the supple muscles of his shoulders. Her hands grasped those shoulders, and she arched up against him as she felt his tongue touching, his teeth nipping, pulling hot wires of sensation that led to every part of her body. “I want to memorize the taste of every sweet part of you. You should be savored.” He closed his eyes. “But I’m too hungry. I’m starving to death, Pandora.” His hands released her breasts and he was moving between her thighs. “And you are, too, aren’t you?”

Hunger. Aching. Yearning to be filled. “Yes, I’m starving too.”

He laughed huskily. “God, I love to hear you say that.” He leaned forward to kiss her with such loving sweetness that joy welled and flowed, not easing the hunger, but blurring the edges with beauty.

He plunged forward. Pain! It lasted only for a moment, piercing, shocking her. But it was Philip who cried out and froze in her arms. No! He mustn’t do that. “It’s all right.” Her hands released their hold on his shoulders and moved up to caress his cheeks. “Please. It’s all right.” It was better now, and she began to move, enticing him, reveling in him.

“The hell it is.” His face above her was twisted with hunger as well as shock. “It’s not all right.” She moved again, and a shudder ran through him, “God, don’t do that. I can’t think.”

“Don’t think.” She tried to tighten, to hold him closer. He made a guttural sound of need. “Just make love to me. I want you so much, Philip. This is
right
. Can’t you feel how right it is?” Her voice was shaking with intensity. “Don’t think, dammit!”

“Oh, God.” His whisper was almost a prayer. “I
can’t
. Not anymore.” He flexed slowly, tentatively. Then he thrust forward and was lost. They were both lost in a rhythm so fiery it shimmered like flames. Golden flames in a golden room. Oh, love, Philip. Giving, taking. Flames rising, whirling in a vortex of tension and beauty. Exploding in an ecstasy that lasted forever.

Forever. Yet the room was still bathed in the golden halo of twilight and Philip’s hard cheek was resting against her shoulder. His chest was heaving with the harshness of his breathing, and his body was still shuddering with tremors. Her hand went up to stroke the crisp hair at his nape with loving fingers. He felt so much
hers
at this moment. So close. After all the years he had stood apart from her, just out of reach. Her own at last.

FOUR

“W
HY
?” H
IS VOICE
was low and intense. He lifted his head, and the harshness of his expression jarred her out of the dreamy euphoria she’d been experiencing. “Dammit, tell me why, Pandora.”

“I love you,” she said simply. “I always have. I always will.”

There was a fleeting expression of shock on his face. “So you yielded your fair young body as some sort of sentimental offering?” He rolled away and got off the bed. He looked down at her. Her body was warm and glowing with loving, her lips soft and swollen. Something hot and wanting leaped into his eyes. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Cover up!” he said jerkily. “The party’s over.”

Yes, the party was over. She had known what his reaction would be, but foreknowledge didn’t make his sudden rejection more bearable. She obediently pulled the satin sheet over herself.

He strode toward the bathroom, glancing over his shoulder with a menacing frown. “You didn’t answer me.”

“No, it wasn’t a sentimental offering.” Her eyes met his with clear honesty. “I tricked you.”

His soft exclamation was followed by a violent curse as he disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door. He was back in two minutes, wearing a pearl gray velour robe. He sat down beside her and gripped her shoulders firmly, anchoring her in place. “Talk,” he grated through his teeth. “It just may stop me from strangling you.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You might start with Luis Estavas, my chaste little Pandora.”

“He was with the Brazilian polo team,” she said quietly. “Your detective should have looked into those weekend jaunts a little more closely.”

“Horses,” he said disgustedly. “I should have known it was horses. Danford?”

“A ranch in Texas.” A tiny smile curved her lips.

“Horses, again.” His lips tightened. “Sabine? Don’t tell me, let me guess. When he’s not a rock star he moonlights as a jockey?”

She shook her head. “He’s a good friend and agreed to be part of the setup.”

“Oh yes, the setup.” The words were bit out. “Let’s talk about the setup. How long has this plot been brewing in your tiny brain?”

“Since the day I ran away from your agent in London,” she said. “I knew what I was going to do. I just didn’t know how I was going to do it.”

“But I’m sure it came to you soon. You’re nothing if not innovative.”

“It wasn’t that easy.” She smiled a little sadly. “I think the most difficult part was the waiting. There were so many years to get through before I could even think of beginning.”

“Well, when you got around to it you made up for lost time.” He glared down at her. “I don’t like being lied to.”

“I know that.” She moistened her lips nervously. “But I couldn’t think of any other way.”

“Any other way than pretending to be one step above a whore? Well, let me congratulate you, Pandora. You played your role exceedingly well. You obviously have a flair for the vocation.”

She flinched. “I did what I had to do. The only way I could be sure you’d take me to bed was if I was . . . experienced because that’s the only type of women you let into your life.” She shrugged. “I thought if I sounded like a gold digger it would make you feel safer.”

“Safer?” His tone was incredulous.

She lifted her chin. “Safer,” she repeated distinctly. “You’re afraid of me, Philip. You always have been. You were so afraid of me that you had to send me away to England.” Her lips twisted bitterly. “You would have sent me to Timbuktu if you could have resolved it with your conscience.”

“I sent you to England because you were fifteen years old and becoming a hoyden.”

She shook her head. “You sent me there because you cared about me.” She made a helpless little motion with her hand. “Oh, I don’t mean romantically. I know what a scrawny mess I was then. But you did care for me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Maybe you even loved me. I think there’s a good chance that you did. It was too strong, wasn’t it? You wouldn’t let yourself love any woman. You use them, but you won’t let yourself love them.”

His face was expressionless. “If you know that, then aren’t you a bit of a fool to let yourself be used by such a ruthless womanizer?”

“Perhaps.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “But I didn’t have any choice. I love you.”

“Stop saying that!” he said with soft violence. “You don’t love me. You developed some sort of fixation on me when you were a child and never got over it. You always were the most obstinately single-minded person I’ve ever had the misfortune to know.” He gestured to the bed. “And this was nothing but a pleasurable sexual episode.”

“The hell it was!” She was up on her knees on the bed. “That wasn’t ‘pleasurable,’ that was beautiful. Don’t you dare call it anything else!”

“Ah! The real Pandora is finally emerging. How did you manage to suppress that wild streak beneath your Khadim disguise?”

“It wasn’t easy,” she said tersely. Her face was still stormy. “I knew I’d have to time it just right or give myself away. But that’s not what we’re talking about. What happened here was beautiful. Say it, Philip.”

“It was beautiful,” he said gently. “But that doesn’t mean it was made in heaven. Sex isn’t love, Pandora.”

“I know the difference.” she said. “I’ve always known it. It’s you who’s wearing the blinders.” She drew a deep breath. “It’s time you took them off. We’ve wasted too many years already. We’re not getting any younger, Philip.”

He had to smother a smile. She looked little more than a child draped to the shoulders in the satin sheet, with her enormous dark eyes so earnest. Where had his anger gone? A moment ago he had been furious. Why couldn’t he ever hold on to that anger where Pandora was concerned? “Have you considered the possibility that it’s you who’s wearing the blinders?”

“No.” She bit her lower lip. “I can’t begin to have doubts now. I won’t let myself. Everything would be empty if I did.” She shook her head. “I know you too well to believe that.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” he said roughly. He stood up and jammed his hands into the pockets of his velour robe. “Nothing. You’ve blown me up into some kind of fantasy figure.”

“I know everything about you,” she said clearly. “Everything. I’ve made a study of you since I was twelve years old, when you saved me from getting my throat slit in the bazaar. Would you like me to tell you what I know about you, Philip?”

“I’d be fascinated.”

“You’re self-indulgent, sensual, arrogant, and much too accustomed to getting your own way,” she said calmly. “You’re also highly intelligent, have a wonderful sense of humor, and are practically a workaholic when it comes to bettering the lot of the people here in Sedikhan.”

His eyes narrowed. “Go on.”

She moistened her lips. “You’re a magnificent horseman and kind to animals. You won’t permit yourself many friends, but you’re intensely loyal to those you do have.” Her lips twisted with pain. “However, you don’t permit women to share your friendship. I think I was as close as you’ve gotten there.” She paused. Oh dear, here goes. “Not that I can blame you. With a mother like Helena Lavade, it’s amazing that you’re as tolerant of women as you are.”

He stiffened. “I don’t believe I like being probed to that extent.”

“You have a perfect right to resent it. Just as I had a right to resent that detective report you had drawn up on me. Only my excuse for prying was more valid. I knew I was going to have a battle on my hands, and I needed all the ammunition I could get.”

“And what do you think you’ve found out about my twisted psyche? Perhaps you should have turned your talents toward being a psychologist instead of a rock singer.”

She ignored his sarcasm. She had known he would become defensive when she brought Helena Lavade into the conversation. “I found out you’d been hurt,” she said quietly. “Your mother was an exceptionally beautiful woman as well as an extremely ambitious one. Helena was half-Sedikhan and half-English, and she was a Khadim. She wanted power and became your father’s mistress. That was only the first step in her plan. Helena made sure that she became pregnant by your father. Then she demanded marriage as well as a great deal of money. She knew he wanted a son and she threatened abortion if he didn’t give in to her demands.” Pandora shook her head. “She should have known better. From what I’ve heard, your father was a great deal like you. He married her all right, but he refused to pay the blackmail, imprisoned her in her quarters, and had her watched like a hawk until you were born. She was furious and full of hate. She managed to escape a few weeks after you were born and took you with her. She was very clever, and the sheikh didn’t find the two of you for almost eight years. Then he divorced Helena and brought you back to Sedikhan.” She met his gaze. “I don’t know what she did to you in those years, but the stories I heard in the bazaar weren’t pretty. She couldn’t punish your father so she punished you.” Her hands suddenly clenched on the satin sheet. “I would have killed her,” she said fiercely.

“Would you?” There was a curious tenderness in his face. “You always were a protective little thing.” His expression hardened. “That was a long time ago. I have no need of either vengeance or sympathy now.” He paused before adding deliberately, “And I have no need of you, Pandora.”

She felt a swift jab of pain. “You do need me. You just haven’t realized it yet. That’s what this is all about.” She lifted her chin. “I have to make you realize it.”

“Well, you’re not going to get the opportunity,” he said curtly. “I’m sending you back to the United States tomorrow.”

“No,” she said with great certainty. “I’m not going. I knew that would be your reaction, so I took precautions.” She made a face. “Or rather, lack of precautions.”

“I’d be interested to know how you think you can prevent me from sending you away. If you recall, I’m the reigning head of this province. I can do anything I damn well please with you.”

“But you won’t,” she said. “Because I’ve borrowed a page from your mother’s book. Not that I like the idea of being associated with that bitch in any way.”

“Which page?” he asked, his expression suddenly wary.

“I told you the timing was very delicate,” she said quietly. “Not only because I knew I couldn’t keep up the pretense for long, but for physical reasons. I went to the doctor and had him chart my fertile period.” She smiled shakily. “This is it. I could very well be pregnant with your child, Philip.”

For the briefest instant he looked as if something had knocked the breath out of him. Then his expression was once more impassive. “Blackmail is an exceedingly ugly practice.”

She sighed. “I was afraid you’d be suspicious. I can’t really blame you. I have no intention of trying to force you to marry me. If you’ll contact Abernathy in London, you’ll find he’s received a legal document absolving you of responsibility for any possible issue. If you like, I’ll ask Neal if it’s all right if I name him as the father. I don’t think he’d mind.”

“The hell you will.” The words were so violent they shocked her. He was silent for a moment, fighting for control. “Your friend can father his own child. He’s not claiming mine.”

“No one’s claiming your baby,” she said soothingly. “There may not be a baby. I just wanted to make very sure there was the possibility of one. I know how possessive you are, and I know you’ll keep me with you until you’re sure one way or the other. That gives me a few weeks, maybe even more. I’ve never been regular.”

“You’re taking a big chance,” he said quietly. “You could lose everything. There’s every possibility you may end up with an illegitimate child. I have no intention of marrying you.”

“I know you don’t. I told you I didn’t expect that. I just want to be with you. I want to be a part of your life. That will be enough for me.” She smiled mistily. “Besides, even if you did decide to kick me out, I’d still have the baby. That would be wonderful. I’ve always been pretty much alone, you know.”

Lord, how he knew that. He took an impulsive step forward. “Pandora . . .” He stopped. He stood there with disparate emotions fighting for supremacy within him: exasperation, amusement, and the poignant tenderness she had always been able to call forth so effortlessly. Then his expression clouded. “No. I won’t be manipulated. If you want to play woman of the world, get some other man to pay for your favors.”

“I do want to be your woman,” she said softly. “And your friend. And the mother of your child. I want to be everything to you. And I don’t want to sell, only to give, Philip.”

He ran one hand distractedly through his hair. “Dammit, I’ll hurt you. You know I’ll hurt you. You
know
me.”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “But if I am hurt, it may be worth it.”

“Go away, Pandora.” There was a note of pleading in the command. “For some reason I find the idea of hurting you distasteful.”

“That’s because you care about me. I find that very promising.”

“Then on your head be it. I’ve warned you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re no more than the Khadim I bought with that trinket in San Francisco. I’ll use you when and where I please and ignore you at any other time. Don’t expect anything else.”

“I don’t expect anything at all.” Her eyes were enormous as she gazed wistfully at him. “I can only hope.”

“
God!
What am I going to do with you?”

Love me. Only love me.
“Knowing you, I imagine you’ll do exactly what suits your fancy,” she said lightly.

His lips tightened. “You’re right. And we might as well start right now. After I’ve finished using a woman I prefer that she return to her own bed. I like to sleep alone.”

“Of course,” she said softly. “I’ll leave at once.” She swung her feet to the floor, flinching a little as she felt a tingle of soreness between her thighs.

Philip muttered a low, explicit curse beneath his breath. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, lie down again. Tomorrow will do as well.”

“You’re sure?” she asked uncertainly. “I could . . .”

“Pandora,” he said through set teeth. “Shut up.”

“All right.” She curled up contentedly in the big bed again, happy with the reprieve. She hadn’t wanted to leave him so soon. “If you change your mind, just tell me.”