Angel in the Parlor (27 page)

Alice Liddell, one of the three little girls, asked him to write the story down for her, and that very evening he returned to his rooms and began to record the adventures as well as he could remember them. Although the story was quickly told, it was not quickly written. Five months after the boating expedition that prompted the story, Dodgson noted in his diary, “Began writing the fairy-tale for Alice, which I told them July 4th going to Godstow—I hope to finish it by Christmas.” This version was called
Alice's Adventures Underground,
and he did not finish it until February. “In writing it out,” he said, “I added many fresh ideas, which seemed to grow of themselves upon the original stock; and many more added themselves when, years afterwards, I wrote it all over again for publication.… Sometimes an idea comes at night, when I have had to get up and strike a light to note it down … but whenever or however it comes,
it comes of itself
…‘Alice' and the ‘Looking Glass' are made up almost wholly of bits and scraps, single ideas which came of themselves.”
³
He did not know when he wrote out the fairy tale for Alice that it would grow from eighteen thousand words to thirty-five thousand words before it was published. Much was added to the final version: the Mad Tea Party, parodies of the popular songs Dodgson had heard Alice and her sisters sing, parodies of the lessons their governess had inflicted on them. When he revised the original version, he cut out most of the private jokes, leaving only those allusions that served the artistic ends of a book intended to please not merely three little girls but readers of all ages.

Through the Looking Glass
was also a long time in the making. “It will probably be some time before I again indulge in paper and print,” Dodgson wrote to his publishers. “I have, however, a floating idea of writing a sort of sequel to ‘Alice.'”
⁴
The idea floated for three years. When Dodgson knew that Tenniel would be available to illustrate the new book, he set out to write it, drawing on the stories he had told the three little girls when he was teaching them chess. The problems of writing a text to be illustrated are unknown to most writers of adult fiction. Chapter Thirteen of
Through the Looking Glass
introduced the character of a wasp in a wig, which Tenniel declared he could not draw. “A wasp in a wig,” he informed Dodgson, “is altogether beyond the appliances of art.”
⁵
The chapter was omitted from the book.

Some critics have read the Alice books as satire; others have called them allegories. The truth is, Dodgson set out to write neither. He did, however, write stories in which he hid ideas, people, and events familiar to him, though he did not do so in a systematic way. He also took his time writing down his stories, and time seems to have a great deal to do with how successfully a writer changes the parochial into the universal.

I learned the hard way how awful a story can be if you have not waited until it is ready to be written. Let me go back to my book,
The Island of the Grass King.
Four years ago I tried to write that book. It was meant to be a sequel to a collection of stories,
Sailing to Cythera,
about the adventures of a boy named Anatole. In
The Island of the Grass King
one of the characters is a pirate. To help me create that character, I read an enormous number of books on pirates. One of the scenes takes place in the sky. To help me describe the sky, I read a vast number of books on astronomy.

I read too much. I had the trappings of characters but not the characters themselves. I had the details of a setting but not the story to give it significance. Innocent of these weaknesses, I wrote the first fifty pages and sent them to my editor. She was appalled but polite. There are some things that cannot be conveyed over the telephone or in a letter. She invited me to meet her in her office in New York. I agreed. This meant finding a babysitter for the day and riding for two hours on a train that always broke down both coming and going. When my editor heard the obstacles I had overcome to keep our appointment, she could scarcely bring herself to deliver her message. The writing was abysmal. All the reports of the readers agreed. How, asked one, could anyone capable of writing
Sailing to Cythera
have written so badly?

The next morning I took up a copy of
Sailing to Cythera
and asked myself, What did I do so effortlessly in this book that I failed to do in the second? Effortlessly—that was the secret. I had not written
Sailing to Cythera
out of months of research. I had written out of the memories of my own childhood. When I was a child, I greatly admired the wallpaper in a restaurant to which I was sometimes taken as a reward for memorizing a difficult piano piece. It showed shepherds and shepherdesses dancing under willow trees, courting under rose arbors, and piping to one another across flocks of immaculate white sheep. Whenever I saw that idyllic country, I wanted to walk on that grass and hear those birds, rare as nightingales and twice as beautiful. Perhaps all fairy tales are really ways of making impossible wishes come true. As I could not go into the wallpaper myself, I sent my character into it, where he learned a little about magic and a lot about love.

Years after the restaurant had been converted into a pizza parlor, I was a student at the University of Michigan; I was dozing in an art history lecture when there flashed across the screen the very country that the wallpaper had imitated so badly. The painting was
The Embarkation for Cythera
by the eighteenth-century French painter Antoine Watteau. It showed a party of aristocrats preparing to set sail for the island of Cythera, named for the goddess of love. The art history instructor called these people pilgrims, and he drew our attention to the autumnal light, the sunny distances, and a great many other things that I have now forgotten. How long ago I first saw that painting, and how little I thought of it afterward! But when I wanted to describe what things looked like on the other side of the wallpaper, the painting came back to me.

Remembering this, I looked again at my disastrous fifty pages. They had come into the world trailing clouds of research; they were born of other people's books, not my own experience. So I put
The Island of the Grass King
away and wrote instead a book about a girl who plays baseball, and to the best of my knowledge there isn't a symbol in it. Not a trace of satire, not a smidgen of allegory. I forgot about the book I'd wanted to write and couldn't.

But the wonderful thing about failures in writing is, although you forget them, they do not forget you. Left alone, they assume their proper shape. Like children who survive all their parents' plans for them, they grow up in their own way. They return, not when you call them, but when some trivial episode wakes them.

The story I had wanted to write in
The Island of the Grass King
returned two years later when I was polishing my mother's silver, those forks and teapots so often lost in the corners of our house. I was polishing a coffeepot whose handle was a griffin with a tail that twined around the spout and somewhere along the way burst into leaves. Half the pot was bright from my diligence. The other half was dark, and I could not make out the design at all. It was as if one side were awake and the other side asleep, and so it is with us, I thought; we spend half our lives doing things and the other half dreaming about them. Outside the rain began to fall, though the sun was shining, and my mother said, “Rain and sun together! The devil is beating his wife.”

And I remembered, suddenly, the wise woman of my childhood whom I believed caused both weather and seasons: Mother Holle. I first met her in one of Grimm's fairy tales, and I did not know that her name means hell in German. I only knew that she lived under the earth and that she sometimes hired mortal girls to help her with her housework. Their chief duty was to shake out her featherbeds, for this shaking of feathers below caused snow to fall on the surface of the earth. From this memory sprang the three wise women who run the world in
The Island of the Grass King.
The first is the Maker; she makes all the creatures, and as the old ones wear out, she makes new ones. The second is the Mender; she keeps everything in repair, and she heals the torn and broken. The third is the Breaker, who destroys whatever the Mender cannot save.

So out of that odd recollection grew the finished version of my book. My reading on pirates and astronomy was there, but it had got so mixed up with my own memories that what came forth was quite different from either. With children's books, as with adult books, writing is a matter of words and silence, of pounding the material into submission and letting go of it, of trying to finish so many pages a day while telling yourself that you have all the time in the world. It's important to keep in mind the story you want to write. But it is even more important to forget it. Kafka understood this when he told a friend why an artist's material “must be worked on by the spirit.”
⁶
The writer not only gathers experience, he masters what is experienced.

I believe that for most writers there are three kinds of stories. The first is the story that you choose to write and that you believe you understand. The second is the story that chooses you, and where it comes from you don't know, for the material seems to have been worked on out of your sight and hearing. The third is the story that starts out as the first kind and ends up as the second. What you know is changed into more than you know. When the author of
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
was asked to explain a poem he had written, he excused himself with the remark, “Words mean more than we mean to express when we use them; so a whole book ought to mean a great deal more than the writer meant.”
⁷

An example of this peculiar transformation is Hans Christian Andersen's story, “The Nightingale,” about a little wild bird who saves the life of the emperor of China. When the emperor falls ill, she sings so beautifully that even Death is enchanted and persuaded to give up his victim for a song. But until that moment of triumph, the emperor prefers the music of an artificial nightingale because it is obedient and predictable. The story was inspired by real people. Jenny Lind, the opera singer who became known in this country as “The Swedish Nightingale,” is the singer taught by nature. The artificial nightingale is the singer taught by tradition. For Andersen, this meant the Italian opera company that lived at the Danish court. Although real people stand behind this story, it is not an allegory, for the message it carries is independent of them. C. S. Lewis's distinction between myth and allegory describes what the greatest writers of fantasy have always done. “Into an allegory a man can only put what he already knows; into a myth he puts what he does not yet know and would not come to know in any other way.”
⁸

How can a writer set out to write what he does not yet know? For many writers such stories are triggered by accidents. If Alice Liddell had not asked for a story, would Dodgson have written
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland?
A great many books for children started out as stories told to children when the writer wasn't particularly worried about structure, characters, plot, or niceties of style. I believe that being asked for a story can bring familiar material together in unfamiliar ways, whether the one asking is a child or an editor.

In the case of one of my favorite books,
The Little Prince
by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the one asking for a story was an adult. While Saint-Exupéry was having lunch with his publisher in a New York restaurant, he began doodling on the tablecloth. His publisher asked him what he was drawing.

“Oh, nothing much,” answered Saint-Exupéry. “Just a little fellow I carry around in my heart.”

“Now look, this little fellow—what would you think of making up a story about him … for a children's book.”

So Saint-Exupéry agreed to try it. The character of the little fellow had had plenty of time to get worked on by the spirit. Saint-Exupéry had first drawn him when he was a little fellow himself and had gone on drawing him on menus, letters, and scraps of paper, in all sorts of disguises. Although Saint-Exupéry had not written books for children, he loved those that hid ideas more serious than the plots that concealed them. In one of his notebooks he writes, “Reread children's books, entirely forgetting the naive part which has no effect, but noting all along the prayers and concepts carried by this imagery.”
⁹
Fairy tales have taught nearly all the great writers of fantasy how to work with symbols.

It's no surprise that many writers of stories for children heard fairy stories long before they heard the word
symbol.
So did many of us, and so it will always be, as long as there are grown-ups to tell stories and children to ask for them. Of all the writers for children whose imaginations were fed on fairy tales, Hans Christian Andersen was surely one of the most fortunate. The place where he heard fairy tales has long since vanished from our world, yet for centuries it was one of the great storehouses of folk literature. This was the spinning room, where women sat spinning at their wheels and working together during the long winter. To make the time pass more pleasantly, they told each other stories. The brothers Grimm assure us that many of the stories brought together in their
Household Tales
were perfected in the spinning room before being set down for our entertainment.

The spinning room Andersen visited was attached to a hospital in Odense, where his grandmother worked as a grounds keeper. The spinners were the local paupers. They listened to the tales that the boy Andersen composed for them and gave him their stories in return. “And thus,” says Andersen, “a world as rich as that of the Thousand and One Nights was revealed to me.”
¹⁰

I like to imagine that I have found my way to that room where stories as well as wool are spun. By the light of a candle an old woman is spinning, but it isn't wool she winds on her wheel. She is spinning straw into gold, so I know that this is the lady whom Andersen called his muse, his wise woman, the bringer of fairy tales. Her name is Anonymous. Her wheel hums, her shadow looms large on the wall. I like to imagine that our conversation goes something like this: