Angel Uncovered (34 page)

'No,' Angel replied, equally passionately, '
I'm
the one
who's sorry – for the way I treated you. I didn't mean to
lead you on like that. It was wrong of me.'

'But understandable,' he said ruefully. 'Anyway,
Angel, I just wanted to say good luck. And in another
life maybe we could have . . . well, you know.' And then
he left.

What was it with him, walking out on her the whole
time? Angel paced feverishly round the dressing room.
He'd sounded as if he never wanted to see her again. Was
that really what
she
wanted? She couldn't deny her
feelings for Ethan. Suddenly the thought of never seeing
him again was unbearable to her. She knew what she had
to do.

Her heart seemed to be beating so wildly that she
thought the limo driver must be able to hear it. The
closer they got to Ethan's beach house the more nervous
she grew.
He probably won't even be there,
she told herself,
trying to hang on to the last scrap of rational thought she
had left.
But he had to be! She had to see him. She couldn't waitanother second.

When they drew up to the house, the limo driver
announced her arrival in the intercom. As soon as the
gates were opened, Angel was out of the car and running
to the front door. She was about to ring the bell when the
door was opened by Ethan. He looked stunned to see her
and was about to speak when she burst out, 'What if I
want us to be together in
this
life?'

His eyes searched hers for a second as if he was trying
to read the truth. And then they were in each other's
arms and all Angel could think was that she wanted him
so badly, nothing else mattered.

They kissed – feverish, hungry kisses that left Angel
wanting more. She ran her hands over his body, slipped
them under his tee-shirt and touched his smooth hard
skin as he unbuttoned her dress and caressed her breasts.
And then he was picking her up and carrying her
upstairs to his bedroom, where he laid her on the bed.
For a moment he looked at her as if he was unable to
believe that she was really there, and then they were
tearing off each other's clothes. Angel gasped in pleasure
as he explored her body with his hands, with his tongue,
and inside she felt as if she had turned to liquid fire. Then
she was pushing him back on the bed, caressing his hard
muscular body, and it was as beautiful and sexy as she
had imagined. And there was no guilty voice in her head
telling her to stop, just her need to carry on making love
with this beautiful man . . .

'Beautiful Angel,' Ethan murmured afterwards, tracing
her mouth with his finger. 'Are you sure I haven't died
and gone to heaven? Can you be real?'

She smiled. 'Oh, I'm real.' And she kissed his finger,
then gently sucked it.

Ethan groaned. 'I know I told you once I had stamina,
but even I need a bit longer!'

Angel only sucked his finger harder. It had been good
the first time, but she just knew it would be even better
the second . . .

It was early-evening by the time she left him; they'd
spent the whole afternoon in bed. Part of Angel didn't
want to leave, wanted to stay with him– where everything
seemed clear, where everything was about their desire
for each other. But she had to get back to Honey. Ethan
had wanted to come with her but Angel wasn't ready for
that, not yet anyway.

There were several messages from Cal but she didn't
return them. She had once thought that she and Cal
would be even if she slept with Ethan and that then she
could pick up the pieces of her marriage. But Cal had
hurt her so deeply she no longer felt like that, she just
thought about Ethan. She was completely intoxicated by
him. She spent the next two days in a lust-fuelled dream,
longing for the nights when she could be with him. Lucy
obviously knew something was going on but was too
discreet to say anything. And when Honey was finally
asleep at night, Angel would get straight into the limo
Ethan had sent over for her.

On her final night in LA talk between the two of them
turned serious. They'd just made love and it was even
sweeter than before. Now they were outside, lying on a
blanket together, staring at the stars.

'I can't bear the thought of you leaving tomorrow,' he
said, gently kissing her.

'I'll be back soon,' Angel replied, 'I promise. I just have
to go to my friend's wedding, sort some things out.'

'What about –' Ethan hesitated before saying '–
Cal?'

'I'll tell him I've met someone else,' Angel replied.
Lying here with Ethan, everything seemed so simple.

'He won't want to let you go,' Ethan replied, holding
her tight in his arms. 'If I was him, I would never let you
go.'

'He's lost me,' she replied, 'I want to be with you.' And
now she was kissing him back, wishing that she didn't
have to leave.

'I have to tell you something, Angel.' He paused, and
for a moment she feared that he was going to say that
there was someone else. Instead he continued, 'You
probably think it's too soon to be saying this, but I can't
stop myself. I love you, Angel. Love you more than I have
ever loved anyone.' He was gazing at her intently and she
felt as if he was looking into her soul.

'I love you too, Ethan,' she whispered back.

'You will come back to me, won't you?' he asked.

'I will,' she replied, pulling him back down to her
again.

During her three-week stay in LA, Angel had largely
managed to avoid the attention of the press. There had
been the odd paparazzo snap, but she thought she'd
managed to keep a low enough profile and had not been
seen anywhere in public with Ethan. But she had underestimated
the British tabloids' hunger for a story and
arrived back home to a media storm. The first she knew
of it was when she landed at Gatwick and was surrounded
by a scrum of photographers, but this time the name they
were shouting out wasn't Cal's, it was Ethan's.

'
What's going on with you and Ethan Taylor? You're havingan affair with him, aren't you?
' She put her head down and
didn't say a word.

Thank God Ray appeared with two of his lads, and
helped clear a path through the crowds for her and
Honey. 'I told Cal it would be better if he stayed in the car
with this lot around,' he said quietly.

Angel bit her lip and nodded. She had known all along
that she would have to tell her husband the truth, but in
her worst nightmares she had never dreamed it would be
like this. She was expecting him to be angry when he saw
her but he was subdued, simply giving her a kiss on the
cheek and making a big fuss of Honey, who was
overjoyed at seeing her daddy again.

'I understand why you did what you did, Angel. I know
I deserved something like this,' Cal said as he drove them
out of the airport. 'But now we can start again, can't we?'
He looked so hopeful that Angel didn't think she could
bear it.

'Let's not talk now,' she replied, staring out of the
window to avoid seeing his hurt expression.

Back home she pleaded jet-lag and went to bed while
Cal looked after Honey. When he finally came up, she
pretended to be asleep. She knew it was cowardly of her
but she wasn't up to talking. Cal put his arm round her
and whispered, 'Love you, Angel,' and her eyes filled
with tears, but she didn't reply.

Everything had seemed so simple and clear-cut when
she was out in LA with Ethan. She would tell Cal it was
over, and that she wanted to be with Ethan. But seeing
her husband again had shaken everything up and now
she just didn't know what she wanted. Nor did they get a
chance to talk the following day as Cal had to rush off to
Rufus's stag night which was being held in Manchester,
while Angel had to go to Jez's which was in London.

Angel had been dreading that Jez was going to want to
throw a wild stag do in the style of one of Kate Moss's
parties. But Jez in fact had remarkably restrained plans –
they were to start with a cream tea at Brown's Hotel in
Mayfair; have cocktails at the Sanderson, followed by
dinner at Nobu. Despite being in LA, Angel had called all
Jez's friends who were going and asked them to buy him
a small gift and write something for a book of photographs
and memories she was compiling for him. She was
really looking forward to showing the resulting scrapbook
to Gemma as the two girls were going to travel up
to London together. She was also hoping for a heart to
heart with her best friend.

But Gemma had other things on her agenda. As soon
as the driver picked her up she started on Angel.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing getting
involved with that Ethan? Have you gone mad? Do you
know what it's been doing to Cal?'

Angel could hardly believe her ears. 'Why are you
having a go at me! If it hadn't been for Cal, I never would
have got close to Ethan! You're my best friend, you're
supposed to be on
my
side!'

But Gemma wasn't going to stop at that, she was in full
flow. 'I think you've turned into one of those LA air
heads. You have no idea how upset Cal has been, have
you? On top of worrying about losing you, he's been
beside himself thinking that you're going to leave him
and take Honey. You should have seen him the other
night. He came round to ours, and honest to God, I've
never seen Cal in that state before. He was crying, Angel.
I don't suppose you thought of that while you were busy
shagging your baseball star – who, by the way, has the
worst reputation with women ever. He's a dog! He's
shagged everyone!'

'Oh, and Cal's perfect, isn't he!' Angel shot back. 'He
had a three-month affair, Gemma, have you forgotten
that? And anyway, Ethan's different with me. He told me
he loved me, and I think I'm in love with him.'

'Oh, please! You just think you are. And he only said
that to get into your knickers.'

'Really, Gemma, he's not like that,' Angel said again.

Gemma looked at her in disgust. 'I think you'll be
making a big mistake if you leave Cal for him.'

'Okay, well,
I
think you've said enough, don't you?'
Angel answered abruptly. She couldn't believe that her
best friend was turning against her like this. It was a total
nightmare. The girls were silent for the next twenty
minutes, ignoring each other until Angel could bear it no
longer and said, 'Anyway, how are you feeling, Gemma?'

'I'm fine,' came the brittle reply, making it clear that
this was not a conversation she wanted to pursue. And
much as Angel wanted to make things up with her she
realised it would have to wait – today was about Jez.

As they drew up at Brown's, Angel took a deep breath
and steeled herself. She was going to start pretending
everything was great in her life. She'd got used to doing
that lately . . .

Fortunately it was wonderful to see Jez who was on fine
form, loving being the centre of attention. 'Angel!' he
cried as soon as he saw her, kissing her and giving her a
hug. 'It's so
fantastico
to see you! I've missed you! And
there's so much gossip to catch up on.'

Angel whispered so that only he could hear, 'I'll tell
you later, Jez, but not today, because today is all about
you.'

He put his hand on his heart and assumed a mock
Texan drawl. 'Well, being as how I'm so shy and retiring,
I don't know if I can cope with that, Miss Summer.'

'Oh, give over!' she exclaimed. 'We've got presents!'

Jez's eyes gleamed. 'Well, why didn't you say?' And the
whole group laughed.

Angel did her best to smile and seem light-hearted, but
her heart felt so heavy, and she was devastated by
Gemma's comments. Her best friend spent the rest of the
party ignoring her.

Ethan texted her halfway through the evening. Angel's
heart flipped when she read,
Miss you, Angel, miss yourbody, miss your kiss, miss you. Love you x
. She wanted to reply
but saw Gemma looking at her and couldn't. Cal also
texted her.
I love you, Angel, never forget that. Let's talktomorrow x.

Angel had always thought it ridiculous when people
said they were in love with two people, but right now she
felt torn . . . Instead of travelling back with Angel to
Brighton, Gemma said she was staying in London so
Angel went home alone. It was two in the morning. In LA
it would be eleven. She wondered what Ethan was doing.
She longed to hear his voice, but didn't know what to say
if he asked her when she was coming back.

She spent Sunday at her parents' with Honey. They
both made a huge fuss of their grand-daughter. They
had obviously read the story about Angel and Ethan
because practically the first thing her dad said was,
'That's a lot of nonsense, isn't it, about you and that
baseball player? You and Cal are back together now,
aren't you?'

'I don't want to talk about it,' Angel replied, surly as a
teenager. The last person she wanted to discuss her love
life with was her dad.

And all day she was dreading Cal coming back,
dreading that they would have to talk. He finally
returned home around eight. Angel was sitting in the
lounge staring blankly at the TV. She had no idea what
was on.

'How was Rufus's stag night?' she asked, falsely
cheerful.

'It was good, quite restrained, though I did get
propositioned in a gay club.'

'Great,' Angel replied, not listening to him. 'Do you
want something to eat?'

'No,' he replied, sitting down next to her. 'I want you
to tell me what happened between you and Ethan?'

Angel shook her head. 'I really don't want to, Cal.'

'Don't want to because it didn't mean anything and
doesn't matter, or don't want to because it meant
something?' Cal's voice faltered here. Angel turned
to him and saw the look of hurt and pain in his brown
eyes.

'It did mean something, Cal. It does mean something,'
she said quietly.

'But we can get through this, can't we?' he said. 'It's
just because of what I did, but we can get over it. It
doesn't matter about Ethan, I don't care that you were
lovers, so long as you stay with me. I know I really messed
up, but please, Angel, don't leave me.'

His eyes were full of tears. Angel felt as if her heart was
being ripped apart, she just hadn't expected such
anguish from him. She couldn't do this to Cal. She put
her arms round him and for a while they held each other
tight.

'Why haven't you returned any of my calls?' Ethan was on
the phone to her. Angel was standing at the kitchen
window, watching Cal push Honey on the swing in the
garden.

'I'm sorry, it's been impossible,' she replied.

'So have you told him you're leaving?' Ethan persisted.

Angel hesitated.

'I'll take that as a no then,' Ethan replied, sounding
hurt, then added, 'Angel, please tell me what's going on?
I miss you.' And this time his voice was low and intimate,
and stirred up strong feelings in her.

'I miss you too,' she whispered back, staring out at
Honey laughing in delight as Cal pushed her higher and
higher in the swing. Then, summoning all her strength,
and knowing she had to make this sacrifice, she went on,
'But I'm married.'

There was a long exhalation of breath from Ethan.
'Don't do this,' he implored her. 'You can't act as if our
time meant nothing to you. Angel, we are meant to be
together. I love you and I know you love me.'

'Goodbye, Ethan,' she said in a cold, hard voice that
she didn't recognise as being her own, and switched off
her phone.

Somehow she got through the next couple of days, but
she felt as if she was sleepwalking. She longed for Ethan,
ached for him so badly. No, she told herself sternly, over
and over, she would not allow those thoughts in, she
would get through this, and soon he would be a distant
memory. She wouldn't think about him. Cal was clearly
relieved that she was staying and was acting as if nothing
had happened, desperate for them both to put the past
behind them.

'We should really think about renewing our vows
soon,' he said as they lay in bed together, the night before
Jez's wedding.

'Mmm,' Angel replied, her heart sinking. She didn't
know if she was ready to do that yet. And there was
something else. Since she'd returned home, she hadn't
wanted to make love with Cal, and every time he went to
touch her she pulled away, made some excuse. When he
kissed her she felt as if she was betraying Ethan, which
was mad because she had told him it was over, hadn't
she?

She had barely spoken to Gemma since Jez's stag night
and so when it came to the wedding day Angel was fully
expecting to do her own make up. But on the morning of
the wedding Gemma finally called her.

'Do you want me to do your make up then?' she asked,
still not sounding particularly friendly.

'It's okay, I can do it myself if it's a problem,' Angel
replied, feeling sad that Gemma was being so distant with
her.

'I'll do it,' she insisted. 'Jez would never forgive us if
you didn't look perfect for his day. I'm sure he'd have
you airbrushed out of the pictures if you didn't look
fabulous!' Finally she was back to sounding like the old
Gemma.

'If you're sure?' Angel answered.

'Yes,' Gemma insisted. 'And I'm sorry I had such a go
at you. I completely understand why you got involved
with Ethan. I had no right to be so judgemental. It's just,
I was still feeling so upset after the miscarriage that I took
it out on you.'

They ended the call by agreeing that Angel would
drive over to Gemma's flat and meet Cal at the wedding.

'Jez, you look amazing!' Angel exclaimed as she walked
into the hotel room where he was getting ready. Lack of
finances had caused Jez and Rufus to scale down their
wedding plans, and instead of the stately home Jez had
dreamed of they had booked out a boutique hotel in
Brighton.

'Really? Are you sure?' an uncharacteristically nervous
Jez asked as he fiddled with his hair. 'Do you think Rufus
will like the suit?' He was wearing a beautifully cut
pinstripe suit with a lilac shirt – he had ditched his plans
to wear a lilac suit, saying it made him look too queenie.

'He'll love it! You look so handsome . . . and so
masculine!' Angel replied, walking across the room and
giving him a reassuring hug.

'You sound surprised,' he answered. 'Didn't you think
I could pull it off?'

'Of course I did!' Angel assured him, giving herself a
mental smack on the head because Jez was hypersensitive
to any comments about his appearance.

'Shall I walk you downstairs?' she asked.

Jez nodded and as he took her arm said emotionally, 'I
can't believe that I'm actually doing this! It sounds like
such a cliché but this really is the happiest day of my life.'

'I'm so happy for you, Jez,' she told him, willing herself
not to think about Ethan.

Jez and Rufus were getting married in the hotel's garden.
The trees had been hung with red and pink lanterns, and
an arch decorated with flowers had been set up on the
lawn. They would say their vows beneath it. Guests sat on
cushions on the grass – Jez had a horror of rows of chairs,
saying they reminded him of school – and music was
provided by a harpist. Rufus was already waiting under
the arch with Cal standing to one side as Angel and Jez
walked slowly towards them. Cal was looking at his wife
with such a look of love Angel forced herself to smile
back.