Angelfire (12 page)

“It's okay—” He touched my arm, but I pulled away.

“No, it's not okay,” I said. “You can't imagine what that's like.”

“You're right,” he said. “I can't.”

I stepped away from him. I hated myself for throwing a tantrum. Making excuses for my freezing in the middle of the fight wasn't going to help me. So I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath. Being afraid would get me killed. “Why is Ragnuk so much bigger than the others?” I asked, my voice shaking just a little.

“He's an ursid reaper,” Will explained. “They're bigger and more powerful, but slower than the wolflike lupines. Ursids rely on brute strength in battle.”

“He was a monster,” I whispered, unable to get his face out of my mind.

“But you defeated him this time,” he said. “You injured him badly enough for him to take off. You made him retreat. That makes up for the moment you were afraid. Ellie, you need to understand that once you overcome your fear, you can defeat anything.”

“But I didn't kill him, and now he'll be back for me with whatever that Enshi is. And I got you hurt and I feel like crap.”

“Don't worry about me, Ellie. I'm supposed to take the hits for you. Trust me.”

I studied his face, unable to understand why someone would devote himself to me so strongly. I wasn't worth his pain or his blood.

He forced a smile. “We need to get you back to your house. I'm sure your parents aren't going to be too happy about the broken window.”

My heart sank. I had forgotten that Ragnuk had thrown me through the glass. How was I going to explain that? “I don't think I want to go back.”

He frowned at me. “Yeah, you need to go back.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. “You'd better take off. I don't think it would be a good idea to walk back with
ripped-up clothes and you with me. It might look bad.”

“Good thinking,” he said. “I'll be close.”

“Thanks, Will.”

He touched my shoulder. “You still look beautiful in your dress.”

When I turned to face him, he was gone. Again.

I EMERGED FROM THE WOODS AND THE GRIM TO see Kate and Landon standing on the patio calling my name. I was dead. I was sure of it. Kate spotted me first and of course made an enormous deal of it.

“Ellie!”
she shrieked, taking off at a sudden run. “Oh, my God, are you all right?” She grabbed me and pulled me into a strong hug. “We had no idea where you ran away to! Where were you? Are you hurt? I can't believe you fell through the glass!”

“I—”

“What happened to your dress? What is this on you? You're filthy. Is that
blood
? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Kate was shooting off her mouth. I only pulled away from her with great effort.

“I'm fine,” I said, smoothing out my dress, suddenly
feeling very self-conscious about the naked skin showing through the rips.

Landon scooped me up into a hug. “I'm so glad you're okay! What happened? We were talking and you just said to watch out and then—I don't even know.”

I thought quickly for a response. It hurt to have to lie to him, but there was no way I could tell him what had really happened. “You tripped on the foot of the bench and hit your head. Are
you
okay?” Maybe directing the attention toward him would save my ass, but that wasn't likely.

He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “Yeah, I'm all right. I just…We were sitting and talking and I can't remember anything after you shouted.”

I nodded firmly. “We were talking and you got up to go back to the party when you tripped on the foot of the bench and fell. You sure you're okay?” As he gave me a puzzled nod, I wondered what else he remembered—if he remembered asking me to be his girlfriend at all. I hoped he did, and remembered my response too, so he'd move on, but the way he held me made me guess otherwise.

“Elisabeth Marie!” my mom shouted as she stomped toward me in her robe and pajamas. “Are you all right? What in the hell happened to you? Where are you hurt?”

I twisted away. “I'm fine—I'm not hurt.”

“What?” Mom grabbed my arm, pulled me close, and examined my skin, looking for injuries. She touched my belly, pushing up the flaps of fabric, her eyes brimming and
wide as she found no wounds. “How are you not hurt?” She turned to Kate. “She fell through the window, right?”

Kate nodded. “She went
flying
through it.”

Saying nothing, I peeked over Kate's shoulders to see my dad marching through the house. My body locked up, preparing for the screaming match that was about to erupt.

“
How
, Ellie?” my mom pressed. “Did someone push you? And did you fall in the woods? You're covered in dirt. Were you drinking?”

I chose that moment to take advantage. “Yeah, I'm sorry, Mom. Landon and I had been drinking and we were joking around. Landon fell, and I tried to go inside when I tripped and went through the window. When I saw what I did, I freaked and ran. I was too scared to come home. I'm so sorry, Mom.”

“You damn well better be!” she cried. I could tell from the look on her face that she couldn't believe I'd managed to break the window with anything less than a car, but nothing had gone through that window but my body. She was forced to accept what I told her.

“You were drinking?” my dad demanded angrily as he appeared on the patio. He spoke to me, but his eyes searched the darkness behind me. I hoped he didn't see Will. “No more parties here. That's it. No Homecoming.”

“But Dad—”

“He's right.” My mom threw her hands in the air. “I am completely shocked that you don't have a scratch on you!
Where did all this blood come from?”

I thought quickly. “I have scratches, just little ones. It's too dark to see, I guess. All my fingers and toes are still here, see?”

“Did you see the mess you made?” my dad hissed. “You are a complete moron!”

“Richard!”
my mother cried, covering her mouth with her hand and gaping at him.

I stared at him in shock, registering the blatant contempt on his face and the malice in his voice. Kate took a step closer to me, and I felt her fingers on the back of my arm, letting me know she was there for me. My own father had just called me a moron. What I'd done—or what I needed them to believe—might have been stupid, but what he had said was out of line.

“I'm not stupid,” I growled under my breath.

My dad's expression froze. “What was that?”

“I said,” I reiterated in a louder, stronger voice, “I'm not stupid. I made a mistake. That doesn't mean I'm a moron.”

He gave me an icy sidelong look. “You sure about that?”

My hands rolled into tight fists. I didn't want to fight with my dad, but I couldn't let him talk to me that way. “Very.”

“Rick, just go back into the house,” my mom said. “I'll handle this.”

He turned on her. “Why are you defending her?”

“I'm not defending her,” she shot back. “I'm just suggesting that you can't handle this properly when you're so upset.”

His nostrils flared and the veins in his temple throbbed as if he were about to explode any second. “And you're doing much better? You let her walk all over you and you're always interfering.”

She blinked in shock. “Interfering? With what?”

“I can't discipline her with you always running to her side!”

“Discipline?” she cried with a gasp. “This isn't discipline. You're only making things worse!”

He threw a finger into her face. “Maybe one day you'll learn from all this why everything only gets worse.”

As I watched the man who was supposed to be my father stomp back into the house, I prayed he'd just file for divorce and get the hell away from me and my mom for good. What was wrong with him? I remembered having a dad who once gave me piggyback rides and finger painted while we watched Saturday-morning cartoons. This man was no longer the father I had once had. Demonic reapers had more compassion than this monster.

“Ellie,” Mom said very seriously, jarring me from my thoughts. “Look, I know you guys are teenagers, and you're going to drink regardless of what anyone says, but please just be safe. And don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I'd rather you come to me instead of us finding you dead in a ditch. Running away like that wasn't cool.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said, forcing a smile. Kate gave me a
knowing look and pursed her lips tightly. Knowing that she and Landon had to witness all that made me feel a thousand times worse.

“We'll talk about this tomorrow,” my mom said, putting an exhausted hand to her forehead. “You're going to be grounded.”

“Mrs. Monroe,” Kate interjected, stepping forward, “it was all my fault. I brought the alcohol.”

My mom
tsk
ed. I didn't want Kate to get any of the heat. I wanted to scream that at the top of my lungs and tell everyone what had really happened, but I couldn't, and that made me feel even crazier inside.

“I'm not your mother, Kate,” my mom began, “but the same goes for you and Landon. If you need help, call me. I don't want to have to worry about you two, either. Ellie's enough to drive me insane.”

Kate smiled weakly. “Thanks, Mrs. Monroe.”

“Is there anyone left?” I asked, fearing the walk of shame back into my house.

“Josie and her friends went home,” Mom said. “Her mom is very worried about you. I'll have to give her a call before I fall asleep.”

I nodded and laid my cheek on Kate's shoulder. “I'm really,
really
tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Kate asked.

I smiled. “Yeah, that'd be great.”

I said good-bye to Landon, who hugged me again, taking a little too long for my comfort. Things would be weird between us.

Kate and I headed upstairs to my bedroom. I took a quick shower and changed into my pajamas while she watched TV in my room. When I came out, I pulled out another pair of pajamas for her and hung up my dress, even though it was destroyed. What a waste.

“I'll hop into the shower really quick and be right out,” Kate said. “I feel so gross from dancing all night.”

“Okay,” I said absently, plopping down on my bed and taking up the remote to flip through channels.

A minute or two after Kate had disappeared from the bedroom, I heard a voice behind me.

“Hey,” Will said as he climbed in through my window.

I jumped to my feet, shocked, my eyes popping wide open. “What are you doing in here?” I said in a raspy whisper. “I was
joking
about coming in through the windows! I can't believe you're in my room. My parents are right down the hall, and Kate could be back any minute. Not to mention my dad is crazy. What if you got caught? He has a gun, you know.”

He scoffed and leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why are you here, Will?” I asked, watching him carefully.

He stepped forward, sucking in his upper lip for a moment.
The tiny glimpse of his tongue as he did so was very distracting. “I need to tell you something.”

“Can't it wait until tomorrow?” I asked as he sat down on the bed and I sat beside him.

“No, it can't. I should've told you before, but you didn't remember, and I wasn't sure when it would've been right to tell you.”

“Why?” I asked impatiently. “I'm not sure there could be much else you could say to me that would shock me.”

“The night you died,” he said, speaking slowly. “I wasn't there.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“The day before my birthday, I had a nightmare, or a memory, of my own death,” I said. “I remembered looking for you. That night I wasn't really afraid of Ragnuk. I was afraid because I didn't know where you were.”

His gaze fell away, his expression pained. “I'm so sorry I couldn't reach you in time.”

“Why? Why did you leave me?”

“Bastian.”

“Bastian? What does he have to do with it?”

Will looked back at me, his gaze intense and full of agony. “Ragnuk had been ordered to hunt you down, and Bastian's other thugs got me first. They held me and tortured me. I couldn't escape. When…when Ragnuk returned, I knew it was all over. He laid you down in front of me, and you
were…you were gone. I managed to escape then, because I knew I had to live. I had to be there when you came back. You died alone, but I wouldn't let you come back alone.”

“Will,” I said, not knowing what else to say, “it's not your fault.”

“But it is,” he said, shaking his head. “You die over and over and over again, and I try to save you, but I always fail. It's never enough.”

“Will,” I said again, and my heart filled with so much sadness, I could barely take it. My hand cupped his cheek softly. His own hand covered mine and he leaned into my palm, closing his eyes. It was the first real emotion he'd shown to me, like he was letting me see his soul for the first time. The embrace made me wonder what he truly felt beneath the stoic, battle-hardened exterior. He stayed there for so long that I lost track of time. Then swiftly, painfully, he pulled away and stood, leaving me feeling empty and longing.

“I have to go,” he said, letting his gaze fall away. “She's coming.”

I said nothing back, but only stared at him as he appeared to vanish into thin air.

The next moment Kate came in through my bedroom door, rubbing a towel through her hair. “Who were you talking to?” she asked, giving me a weird look.

“Oh, no one,” I said, and leaped to my feet, my heart suddenly pounding as if it had missed a few beats and was
trying to make up for it. I sat back down on my bed. Will had left so quickly that I felt unfulfilled; it seemed there was still so much to say, but I'd have to keep it all inside. I had a feeling there was much more he wanted to say to me, too.

“I could have sworn you were talking on your phone or something,” Kate said, adding a sly smile. “Was it Will?”

My face flushed red. “No, I was just…saying stupid stuff to the TV. I hate reality shows.”

“Right,” she said, rolling her eyes. Since Kate was taller than me, my pajama pants came down to just above her ankles. “We'll just pretend these were meant to be cropped.” She laughed, pointing down, as if someone might accuse her of dressing poorly between then and morning.

“I won't tell anyone the truth,” I said, smiling. I wanted to make jokes and have fun with Kate, but I couldn't stop wondering what else Will had wanted to say to me. More than that, I was afraid of the End of Days that Ragnuk had spoken of.

“You okay, Ellie?”

I looked up to see Kate watching me worriedly. “Sorry. I'm just kind of swamped with life right now.”

Kate frowned and plunked down on the carpet, resting her elbow on the edge of the bed. “I'm really sorry about your dad.”

The corner of my mouth twitched as if it were trying to offer her a smile but couldn't. “Yeah. You and me both.”

“He shouldn't have said the things he did.”

The pity in her expression made me take a deep breath. I wished my dad could understand that what had happened was an accident and I couldn't avoid it. Yeah, I had drunk a couple of shots, and maybe that wasn't exactly legal at my age, but I didn't drive anywhere and no one was hurt because of the alcohol. Landon could have been hurt a lot worse if I hadn't shoved him out of the way of the reaper and then lured the beast away.

I tried so hard to do the right thing, but I didn't know how. If I had to keep covering up the reaper incidents by trashing my reputation and lying to my friends and family, then I wasn't sure how long I could keep fighting. None of this was fair to me. Or them.

“I'm worried about you,” Kate said abruptly. “It just seems like your dad is getting worse every day. And I think it's beginning to affect you.”