Angel's Curse (12 page)

“
Oh god, oh god, what do I do?
”

Cutting, biting and untying didn’t work, neither would transporting him. Could I burn the bindings off somehow? I still had some lighter fluid and matches. Danny might suffer for a while, but he could heal himself once the bindings were gone.

I transported to the cavern where my gear was stored and retrieved the matches and lighter fluid, setting them to one side. I got down on my knees and clasped my hands in front me. Danny believed so much in his Father, and if angels and demons existed, why
not
God?

“Please, God. I know I’ve never talked to You before, apart from taking Your name in vain, and never had much faith in You. I mean, given how my life turned out could You really blame me? I’m not asking this for me, I’m asking this for one of Your angels, Danizriel. He’s been wrongly accused of being a traitor. I’ve never known anyone who’s believed in
You
so much, believed
You
were good and right and just. Please, God, if You save him I’ll leave him and never return. It’s my fault he’s been put in this situation. I can’t imagine a world without Danny —
Danizriel.
Don’t let him be cast out. Don’t condemn him to life as a demon, the very creatures he’s sought out and fought on
Your
behalf since, well, You know, since the
fall.
Please let this work.”

I made the sign of the cross —
was it left to right, or right to left?
I did both to be safe — picked up my gear and transported myself behind the cross.

“I know you’re there, Helena,” Danny said softly.

I stepped out and showed him what I’d brought with me.

He shook his head slowly. “Why are you so pig-headed? I told you these bindings can’t be unbound.”

“I have to try,” I said. “I can’t let you go without knowing I’ve tried my hardest.”

I knelt in front of him and carefully sprayed the lighter fluid on the bindings at his feet. I ran back to the house and filled the vase I’d fashioned out of stone with water, and returned to Danny.

“Just in case the fire gets out of control,” I said.

Truth to tell, I’d put out the flames with my bare hands if I had to, but I wanted to at least look like I was properly prepared.

“Wish me luck,” I said as I struck a match.

“Helena, don’t,” Danny pleaded.

The flame touched the bindings and went out.
Dud match, had to be.
I struck another one and when it stopped flaring and began to burn brightly I touched it to the bindings — it went out as well. I stuck another four matches and the same thing happened.

“
Stop,
” Danny cried out again. “That’s beginning to get very uncomfortable, it’s really cutting in.”

I looked at the bindings. They did seem to be tighter. God had forsaken Danny in his hour of need and I was a failure.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, “I can’t stay.”

I didn’t wait for Danny to respond. I transported myself back to a safe spot in the forest to stand vigil over Danny’s fall.

10.
One Final Gift

“Helena, please, I need you now more than I’ve ever needed anyone. Please come back to me.
I implore you.
”

I heard him and felt the pull. I had to go to him. I didn’t want him to face whatever it was that would happen —
is he certain he’ll be cast out and not die?
— alone. I didn’t want him to think I’d abandoned him.

“I’m here,” I said.

I brushed his cheek with my fingers and he twisted his head to kiss my palm.

“How do you know that you won’t just die?”

He sighed. “Because I’ve seen this before, an eternity ago, when the last of the angels fell.”

“There’s really no hope then?”

A single tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away with the back of my hand.

“There’s no hope for me, but for you, there is forever.”

“I can’t,” I wailed, and more tears followed the first. “I can’t do what you want me to. I can’t let go of the only good thing in my life.”

“Helena, do you not realise that once I’m a demon both angels, and demons with a score to settle, will hunt me down. If the demons find me first, I’ll be taken to Satan and tortured for life eternal, torn to shreds, put back together and torn to shreds again. If the angels find me I will have to try to kill them before they can kill me. I have no desire to murder any of my brothers and sisters.

“Is that the fate you would have for me?”

I placed my hands on his chest, the still-strong beat of his heart comforting me.

“I’ll protect you.”

“You won’t be able to. As a demon, the angel I am will be gone and I
will
try to kill you.”

I thought back to my nightmare, how Danny had been cast out and I’d allowed him to kill me because I didn’t have the courage to kill him.

“
You said you’d never leave me!
” I yelled and pounded my fists on his chest.

“I’ll
always
be with you.
Please,
Helena,
if you love me,
let me go.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him fiercely. I knew what I had to do. It was the hardest thing I’d
ever
had to do. I didn’t want to let go. Oh, how selfish I was! He let me hug him for a while, sobbing into his shirt until it was soaked with salty tears.

“Helena, I’ll not last the night,” he whispered.

I nodded my head and kissed his lips with a hungry passion that would never again be satisfied, running my fingers through his hair. When I finally drew back there was joy tinged with sadness in his eyes. He
knew
now that I’d do what he asked. He was happy that it was to be me who released him from the bonds of the living, to be free of everything.

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered, and smiled.

I stretched my arms so that my hands reached his and clasped them in mine. My lips caressed his neck and I felt his hot blood on my tongue and in the back of my throat, threatening to choke me, along with my tears. I willed my hands to embrace him and they responded, our hands joining and becoming one. Somehow I managed to control the flow of Danny’s blood into my body. I couldn’t end it quickly. I needed those precious few minutes that were left to me, like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver, hoping for salvation.

The tears fell from my eyes in a torrent, rolling down my cheeks only to drop on Danny’s neck and shoulder. He knew it was a difficult thing he asked of me and tried to ease my pain, as I drained the life of the only soul I had ever loved — the only one who had loved me unconditionally in return. He talked to me softly, telling me he hoped I could find happiness and love once again and that I lived a long and joyous life, as an immortal. He said he was glad he was to die by my hands and lips, was grateful for this one final gift. He told me I would be welcomed into heaven with open arms and a fanfare the likes of which had not been seen since the passing of the Virgin Mary — me, the
saviour
of an angel.

I hated that I couldn’t tell him I loved him one more time, kiss his lips one more time, feel his body against mine, one more time. I hated myself and I hated him, as only a person who loves someone so much they cannot refuse them can, even when it means death.

Inside my head I was screaming at him, “
I love you, Danizriel. I love you!
”

As his life force ebbed his body became limp and his head leaned on top of mine. I could still feel his heart beating, though much slower now.

“Helena,” he whispered, struggling to get the words out, the effort so great, his breathing laboured and his heart slowing even more, “I love you. Know that … I’ll always love you. I’ll be waiting for you … if the time ever comes … and we can be together —”

His heart stopped, quite suddenly —
I thought a minute more perhaps
— and his head slumped forwards. Danny was gone, my angel was no more. My hands and lips released their grip on his body and I fell to my knees and screamed. The sound was so alien to me — had anyone ever screamed with such pain, such agony before — and it changed as it came out of my throat to something more sinister. It was the scream of a woman lost in madness, a woman who was already forming a plan in her head to seek revenge on all and sundry —
the angels would pay!

It had been the first time I’d heard Danny utter those words out loud —
I love you
— and it was to be the last. It tore me apart.

I threw back my head once more and screamed again. This time I allowed the rage, fury and despair to flow out of me. My body was lifted into the air until I was level with Danny, my arms spread to the sides with my legs and feet together, bent slightly at the knees, an exact mirror image of Danny on the cross.

I was enveloped in a blinding white light, as I continued to scream, and thought that perhaps I was going to be allowed to die as well, and join Danny. I would have been happy to follow him if I could.

A single clap of thunder sounded and when the screaming subsided —
was that really me?
— and the light faded, I fell back to the ground and all around me was silent. I lifted my head to look at Danny — I would remove him from the cross and take him somewhere the angels and demons would never find him — and he was gone, as was the cross, the remains of the garden and the cottage.

I hugged my knees to my chest — I was now in the clothes I had been wearing the night I met Danny — and cried.

In my pocket was the money I’d taken from Chris after he’d changed me. It was as if the world was trying to erase Danny from my life. Absolutely everything was gone, including Death and the feather. I had nothing substantial to remember Danny by now, nothing but memories that might fade over time, or become distorted the longer I lived.

What I did have was hate and rage. I held onto them tightly, for I wasn’t ready to give up until I’d had my revenge, and oh what revenge I’d have. She who kills would be recorded in the angelic histories all right, though not for my slaying of vampires. It was angels I intended to hunt now, and angels I would kill. Raphael and his thugs would
pay
for what had happened to Danny. If it meant I had to embrace the dark side — my inner demon — so be it, I would, and I’d enjoy it too.

I thought of a play I’d once seen called The Mourning Bride. It was a modern adaption of the original, which was written at the end of the seventeenth century. I only remembered one line —
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

“
I hate you, God!
” I yelled into the night, “
I hate you!
”

11.
La'miere Hotel

I stood in the middle of the clearing, the grass blowing gently about my ankles. Danny was no more, the garden was no more and the only home I’d known for the past ten months — the cottage — was no more. I had nowhere to go, no place of refuge.

I closed my eyes and wished to be somewhere safe. When I opened my eyes I found myself in an elevator.

Oh god, not again!
I thought to myself.

The last time I’d transported myself unknowingly into an elevator I’d been trapped, and horrible memories from my childhood that I’d suppressed had resurfaced. If I hadn’t called for Danny —
oh, Danny, why did you have to die?
— who’d come and rescued me, I would have gone crazy.

I heard a familiar
ding
and the elevator doors opened. I stepped out cautiously, not sure of where I was. When I peered around the corner I saw a front desk and knew instantly that I was at the La’miere. Of recent times this hotel held some happy memories for me, when Danny had discovered how good a shower could be, and the fun you could have in a spa bath.

My heart ached every time I thought of Danny and my stomach did horrid little flips. I was worried I was going to burst into tears again, something I didn’t want to do in public.
Show no weakness.

I headed to the front desk. Somehow it felt like the right thing to do.

“May I help you?” the man behind the desk asked.

“I think I have a reservation. What I mean is that my husband takes care of those things and he told me I was to come to the La’miere. This is the La’miere, isn’t it?”

“Certainly, madam, the only one in town. What name might the booking be under?” he asked.

“Malakh.”

“Ah, Mrs Malakh, we’ve been expecting you. Your husband advised us you’d be arriving sometime in the next few days.”

“You spoke to him?” I asked in wonder.

“No madam, though if you don’t mind my saying so, your husband is quite eccentric.”

“
Eccentric?
” Were we talking about the same person?