Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes: Revised and Complete Edition (11 page)

JOE
: It. Whatever. Whatever it is you want to do.

LOUIS
(A beat; then, quietly challenging)
: Are you trying to tell me something?

(Little pause, sexual. They look at each other, then Joe looks away.)

JOE
: No, I’m just observing that you—

LOUIS
(Nodding, letting him off the hook)
: Impulsive.

JOE
: Yes, I mean it must be scary, you—

LOUIS
: Land of the free, home of the brave, call me irresponsible.

JOE
: It’s kind of terrifying.

LOUIS
(Shrugging)
: Yeah, well, freedom is. Heartless, too.

JOE
: Oh you’re not heartless.

(Little pause. Louis stops smiling.)

LOUIS
: You don’t know.

     
Finish your weenie.

(Louis pats Joe on the knee, stands and starts to leave.)

JOE
: Um . . .

(Louis turns, looks at him. Joe searches for something to say; then, mostly avoiding looking at Louis:)

JOE
: Yesterday was Sunday but I’ve been a little unfocused recently and I thought it was Monday. So I came here like I was going to work. And the whole place was empty. And at first I couldn’t figure out why, and I had this moment of incredible . . . fear and also . . . It just flashed through my mind: the whole Hall of Justice, it’s empty, it’s deserted, it’s gone out of business. Forever. The people that make it run have up and abandoned it.

LOUIS
(Looking at the building)
: Creepy.

JOE
: Well yes but. I felt that I was going to scream. Not because it was creepy, but because the emptiness felt so
fast
.

     
And . . . well, good. A . . . happy scream.

     
I just wondered what a thing it would be . . . if overnight everything you owe anything to, justice, or love, had really gone away. Free.

     
It would be . . . heartless terror. Yes. Terrible, and . . .

     
Very great. To shed your skin, every old skin, one by one and then walk away, unencumbered, into the morning.

     
(Pause. He looks at the building, then down)

     
I can’t go in there today.

LOUIS
: Then don’t.

JOE
: I can’t go in, I need . . .

     
(He looks for what he needs. He takes a swig of Pepto-Bismol)

     
I can’t
be
this anymore. I need . . . a change, I should just . . .

LOUIS
: Want some company? For whatever?

(A possibility of sex still hangs in the air.)

LOUIS
: Sometimes, even if it scares you to death, you have to be willing to break the law. Know what I mean?

(Little pause.)

JOE
: Yes.

LOUIS
(A beat, then)
: I moved out. I moved out on my . . .

(Little pause; Louis looks down. The sexual possibility disappears.)

LOUIS
: I haven’t been sleeping well.

JOE
: Me neither.

(Louis licks his napkin and goes up to Joe. He dabs at Joe’s upper lip.)

LOUIS
: Antacid moustache.

(Louis starts to walk away, then stops and stares at the courthouse. Not looking at Joe:)

LOUIS
: Maybe the court won’t convene. Ever again. Maybe we are free. To do whatever.

     
Children of the new morning, criminal minds. Selfish and greedy and loveless and blind. Reagan’s children.

     
(Looking at Joe)
You’re scared. So am I. Everybody is in the land of the free.

(Louis turns and leaves. As he’s exiting:)

LOUIS
: God help us all.

Scene 8

Late that night. Joe at a payphone calling Hannah at home in Salt Lake City. Joe’s a little drunk
.

JOE
: Mom?

HANNAH
: Joe?

JOE
: Hi.

HANNAH
: You’re calling from the street. It’s . . . it must be four in the morning. What’s happened?

JOE
: Nothing, nothing, I—

HANNAH
: It’s Harper. Is Harper—

     
Joe?

     
Joe?

JOE
: Yeah, hi. No, Harper’s fine. Well, no, she’s . . .
(He finds this slightly funny)
not fine.

     
(With a grin)
How are you, Mom?

HANNAH
: What’s happened?

JOE
: I just wanted to talk to you. I, uh, wanted to try something out on you.

HANNAH
: Joe, you haven’t— Have you been drinking, Joe?

JOE
(A bigger grin)
: Yes, ma’am. I’m drunk.

HANNAH
: That isn’t like you.

JOE
: No. I mean—
(Again, finding this a little funny)
Who’s to say?

HANNAH
: Why are you out on the street at four
A.M.
? In that crazy city. It’s dangerous.

JOE
: Actually, Mom, I’m not on the street. I’m near the boathouse in the park.

HANNAH
: What park?

JOE
: Central Park.

HANNAH
: CENTRAL PARK! Oh my Lord. What on earth are you doing in Central Park at this time of night? Are you—

     
(Very stern)
Joe, I think you ought to go home right now. Call me from home.

(Little pause.)

HANNAH
: Joe?

JOE
: I come here to watch, Mom. Sometimes. Just to watch.

HANNAH
: Watch what? What’s there to watch at four in the—

JOE
: Mom, did Dad love me?

HANNAH
: What?

JOE
: Did he?

HANNAH
: You ought to go home and call from there.

JOE
: Answer.

HANNAH
: Oh now really. This is maudlin. I don’t like this conversation.

JOE
: Yeah, well, it gets worse from here on.

(Pause.)

HANNAH
: Joe?

JOE
: Mom. Momma. I’m a homosexual, Momma.

     
(He lowers the receiver and laughs quietly to himself)

     
Boy, did that come out awkward.

     
(He lifts the receiver to his ear)

     
Hello? Hello?

     
I’m a homosexual.

     
(Pause)

     
Please, Momma. Say something.

HANNAH
: You’re old enough to understand that your father didn’t love you without being ridiculous about it.

JOE
: What?

HANNAH
: You’re ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous.

JOE
: I’m—
What?

HANNAH
: You really ought to go home now to your wife. I need to go to bed. This phone call— We will just forget this phone call.

JOE
: Mom.

HANNAH
: No more talk. Tonight. This . . .

     
(Suddenly very angry)
Drinking is a sin! A sin! I raised you better than that.
(She hangs up)

Scene 9

The following morning, early. Split scene: Harper and Joe at home; Louis and Prior in Prior’s hospital room. Joe and Louis have each just entered. This should be fast. No freezing; even when one of the couples isn’t talking, they remain furiously alive
.

HARPER
: Oh God. Home. The moment of truth has arrived.

JOE
: Harper.

LOUIS
: I’m going to move out.

PRIOR
: The fuck you are.

JOE
: Harper. Please listen. I still love you very much. You’re still my best buddy; I’m not going to leave you.

HARPER
: No, I don’t like the sound of this. I’m leaving.

LOUIS
: I’m leaving.

     
I already have.

JOE
: Please listen. Stay. This is really hard. We have to talk.

HARPER
: We are talking. Aren’t we. Now please shut up. OK?

PRIOR
: Bastard. Sneaking off while I’m flat out here, that’s low. If I could get up now I’d beat the holy shit out of you.

JOE
: Did you take pills? How many?

HARPER
: No pills. Bad for the . . .
(Pats stomach)

JOE
: You aren’t pregnant. I called your gynecologist.

HARPER
: I’m seeing a new gynecologist.

PRIOR
: You have no right to do this.

LOUIS
: Oh, that’s ridiculous.

PRIOR
: No right. It’s criminal.

JOE
: Forget about that. Just listen. You want the truth. This is the truth.

     
I knew this when I married you. I’ve known this I guess for as long as I’ve known anything, but . . . I don’t know, I thought maybe that with enough effort and will I could change myself . . . but I can’t . . .

PRIOR
: Criminal.

LOUIS
: There oughta be a law.

PRIOR
: There is a law. You’ll see.

JOE
: I’m losing ground here, I go walking, you want to know where I walk, I . . . go to the park, or up and down 53rd Street, or places where . . . And I keep swearing I won’t go walking again, but I just can’t.

LOUIS
: I need some privacy.

PRIOR
: That’s new.

LOUIS
: Everything’s new, Prior.

JOE
: I try to tighten my heart into a knot, a snarl, I try to learn to live dead, just numb, but then I see someone I want, and it’s like a nail, like a hot spike right through my chest, and I know I’m losing.

PRIOR
: Apartment too small for three? Louis and Prior comfy but not Louis and Prior and Prior’s disease?

LOUIS
: Something like that.

     
I won’t be judged by you. This isn’t a crime, just—the inevitable consequence of people who run out of—whose limitations—

PRIOR
: Bang bang bang. The court will come to order.

LOUIS
: I mean let’s talk practicalities, schedules; I’ll come over if you want, spend nights with you when I can, I can—

PRIOR
: Has the jury reached a verdict?

LOUIS
: I’m doing the best I can.

PRIOR
: Pathetic. Who cares?

JOE
: My whole life has conspired to bring me to this place, and I can’t despise my whole life. I think I believed when I met you I could save you, you at least if not myself, but . . .

     
I don’t have any sexual feelings for you, Harper. And I don’t think I ever did.

(Little pause.)

HARPER
: I think you should go.

JOE
: Where?

HARPER
: Washington. Doesn’t matter.

JOE
: What are you talking about?

HARPER
: Without me.

     
Without me, Joe. Isn’t that what you want to hear?

(Little pause.)

JOE
: Yes.

LOUIS
: You can love someone and fail them. You can love someone and not be able to—

PRIOR
: You
can
, theoretically, yes. A person can, maybe an editorial “you” can love, Louis, but not
you
, specifically you. I don’t know, I think you are excluded from that general category.