Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes: Revised and Complete Edition (29 page)

BELIZE
: Behave yourself, cherie, or nanny will have to use the wooden spoon.

(Prior exits.)

BELIZE
(To Joe, dropping scarf disguise)
: I am trapped in a world of white people. That’s
my
problem.
(He exits)

Scene 5

The next day. At the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. It’s cold, and as the scene progresses a storm front moves in and the sky darkens. Louis is sitting on the fountain’s rim. Belize enters and sits next to him
.

BELIZE
: Nice angel.

LOUIS
: What angel?

BELIZE
: The fountain.

LOUIS
(Looking)
: Bethesda.

BELIZE
: What’s she commemorate? Louis, I’ll bet you know.

LOUIS
: The . . . Croton Aqueduct, I think. Right after the Civil War. Prior loves this—

BELIZE
: The Civil War. I knew you’d know.

LOUIS
: I know all sorts of things. The sculptress was a lesbian.

BELIZE
: Ooh, a sister! That a fact? You are nothing if not well informed.

LOUIS
: Listen. I saw Prior yesterday.

BELIZE
: Prior is
upset
.

LOUIS
: This guy I’m seeing, I’m not seeing him now. Prior misunderstood, he jumped to—

BELIZE
: Oh yeah. Your new beau. Prior and me, we went to the courthouse. Scoped him out.

LOUIS
:
You had no right to do that
.

BELIZE
: Oh did we violate your
rights. (Continue below:)

LOUIS
: Yeah, sort of, and, and—Couldn’t you have done this on the phone, you needed to, what? Extract every last drop of, of schadenfreude, get off on how unhappy I am, how—

BELIZE
(Continuous from above)
: You walk out on your lover. Days don’t pass before you are out on the town with somebody new. But this—
“Schadenfreude”? (Continue below:)

LOUIS
: I’m
not
out on the—I want you to tell Prior that I—

BELIZE
(Continuous from above): This
is a record low: sharing your dank and dirty bed with Roy Cohn’s buttboy.

(Pause.)

LOUIS
: Come again?

BELIZE
: Doesn’t that bother you at all?

LOUIS
:
Roy Cohn?
What the fuck are you—I am not sharing my bed with Roy Cohn’s . . .

BELIZE
: Your little friend didn’t tell you, huh? You and Hoss Cartwright, it’s not a verbal kind of thing, you just kick off your boots and hit the hay.

LOUIS
: Joe Pitt is not Roy Cohn’s—Joe is a very moral man, he’s not even
that
conservative, or, well not that
kind
of a . . . And I don’t want to continue this.

BELIZE
(Starting to go)
: Bye-bye.

LOUIS
: It’s not my fault that Prior left you for me.

BELIZE
: I beg your pardon.

LOUIS
: You have always hated me. Because you are in love with Prior and you were when I met him and he fell in love with me, and so now you cook up this . . . I mean how do you know this? That Joe and
Roy Cohn
are—

BELIZE
: I don’t know whether Mr. Cohn has penetrated more than his
spiritual
sphincter. All I’m saying is you better
hope there’s no GOP germ, Louis, ’cause if there is, you got it.

LOUIS
:
I don’t believe you
. Not . . .
Roy Cohn
. Joe wouldn’t—Not
Roy Cohn
. He’s, he’s like the polestar of human evil, he’s like the worst human being who ever lived, the, the damage he’s done, the years and years of, of . . . criminality, that whole era, that—Give me fucking credit for
something
, please, some little moral shred of, of, of
something
, OK sure I fucked up, I fucked up everything, I didn’t want to, to face what I needed to face, what life was insisting I face but I don’t know, I’ve always, I’ve always felt you had to, to take
action
, not sit, not to be, to be trapped, um, stuck, paralyzed by—Even if it’s hard, or really terrifying, or even if it does damage, you have to keep moving, um, forward, instead of—I can’t just, you know, sit around
feeling
shit, or feeling
like
shit, I . . . cry way too easily, I fall apart, I’m no good unless I, I
strike out
at—Which is easy because I’m so fucking
furious
at my—So I fucked up spectacularly, totally, I’ve ruined my life, and his life, I’ve hurt him so badly but but still, even I, even I am not so utterly lost inside myself that I—I wouldn’t, um,
ever
, like,
sleep
with someone who . . . someone who’s
Roy Cohn’s . . . (He stops himself)

BELIZE
: Buttboy.

LOUIS
(In complete despair, quietly)
: Oh no.

BELIZE
: You know what your problem is, Louis? Your problem is that you are so full of piping hot crap that the mention of your name draws flies. You don’t even know Thing One about this guy, do you?

(Louis shakes his head no.)

BELIZE
: Uh-huh. Well ain’t that pathetic.

     
Just so’s the record’s straight: I love Prior but I was never in love with him. I have a man, uptown, and I have since
long
before I first laid my eyes on the sorry-ass sight of you.

LOUIS
: I . . . I didn’t know that you—

BELIZE
: No ’cause you never bothered to ask.

     
Up in the air, just like that angel, too far off the earth to pick out the details. Louis and his Big Ideas. Big Ideas are all you love. “America” is what Louis loves.

(Louis is looking at the angel, not at Belize.)

LOUIS
: So what? Maybe I do. You don’t know what I love.

     
You don’t.

BELIZE
: Well I hate America, Louis. I hate this country. It’s just big ideas, and stories, and people dying, and people like you.

     
The white cracker who wrote the National Anthem knew what he was doing. He set the word “free” to a note so high nobody can reach it. That was deliberate. Nothing on earth sounds less like freedom to me.

     
You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I’ll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean.

(A rumble of thunder. Then the rain comes. Belize has a collapsible umbrella, and he raises it. Louis stands in the rain.)

BELIZE
: I
live
in America, Louis, that’s hard enough, I don’t have to love it. You do that. Everybody’s got to love something.

(Belize leaves.)

LOUIS
(Quiet, resolved)
: Everybody does.

Scene 6

Same day. Hannah sits alone at the Visitors’ Center reception desk. It’s dark outside, and raining steadily. Distant thunder
.

Joe enters
.

They look at each other for a long moment
.

JOE
: You shouldn’t have come.

HANNAH
: You already made that clear as day.

JOE
: I’m sorry. I . . . I . . . don’t understand why you’re here.

HANNAH
: For more than two weeks. You can’t even return a simple phone call.

JOE
: I just don’t . . . have anything to say. I have nothing to say.

HANNAH
: You could tell me so I could tell her where you are. You’ve been living on some rainy rooftop for all we knew. It’s cruel.

JOE
: Not intended to be.

HANNAH
: You’re sure about that.

JOE
: I’m taking her home.

HANNAH
: You think that’s best for her, you think that she should—

JOE
: I know what I’m doing.

HANNAH
: I don’t think you have a clue. You can afford not to. You’re a man, you botch up, it’s not a big deal, but she’s been—

JOE
: Just being a man doesn’t mean . . . anything.

     
It’s still a big deal, Ma. Botching up.

     
(Tough, cold, angry, holding it in)
And nothing works. Not all my . . . oh, you know, my
effortful
clinging to the good, to what’s right, not pursuing . . . freedom, or happiness. Nothing, nothing works anymore, nothing I try
fixes anything at all, nothing, I’ve got nothing, now, my whole life, all I’ve done is make . . . botches. Just . . .

     
(He looks down, shakes his head; he can’t continue. Then:)

     
I’m really . . . um . . .
(This is not the word he wants to say)
bewildered . . .

(Little pause. Hannah looks at him; he wants consolation, but something stops her.)

HANNAH
(Quietly but firmly)
: Being a woman’s harder. Look at her.

(Little pause.)

JOE
: You and me. It’s like we’re back in Salt Lake again. You sort of bring the desert with you.

     
Is she . . .?

HANNAH
: She’s not here.

JOE
: But . . . I went to the apartment. She isn’t . . .

HANNAH
: Then she’s escaped.

     
I think maybe motion’s better for her right now, being out and away from—

JOE
: It’s raining. She can’t be out on her own.

HANNAH
: Can I help look for—

JOE
: There’s nothing you can do. You should go, Ma, you should go back home. It’s a terrible time. You never wanted to visit before. You shouldn’t—

HANNAH
: You never asked me.

JOE
: You didn’t have to—

HANNAH
: I didn’t and I shouldn’t and I don’t know
why
I did, but I’m here, so let me help.

JOE
:
She’s my responsibility. Ma
. Fly home. Please.

HANNAH
: I . . . can’t.

JOE
: Why?

HANNAH
: I . . .

     
Aunt Libby thought she’d smelled radon gas in the basement.

JOE
: What?

HANNAH
: Of the house.

JOE
: You can’t smell radon gas, it has no smell, and since when do you listen to, to Libby? I can’t—
(Continue below:)

HANNAH
: I acted on impulse, and I . . .
(She decides against telling him that she’s sold the house)

JOE
(Continuous from above)
: I can’t, um, could we talk about this another—

HANNAH
: That thing you told me, that night. On the telephone, from Central Park. When you were drinking.

JOE
: No, we can’t do that. Not now. I don’t want to—
(Continue below:)

HANNAH
: You said you thought you—

JOE
(Continuous from above)
: I don’t want to talk about it. Forget it.

HANNAH
: But I think maybe now we ought to, we ought to—

JOE
(Suddenly scarily enraged)
: NO!! And do what?! PRAY TOGETHER?!
NO
. I couldn’t . . .
stomach
the prospect!

(Hannah turns away. He stares, baffled; it takes several moments for him to realize she might be crying.)

JOE
: Are you . . .?

     
I’m sorry. Don’t cry.

HANNAH
(Not turning to face him)
: Don’t be stupid.

     
And if I ever do. I promise you you’ll not be privileged to witness it.

JOE
: I should . . .

(Still facing away, she nods yes.)

JOE
: Is there radon gas in the—

HANNAH
: Just go.

(Little pause.)

JOE
: I’ll pay to change your ticket.

(Joe exits. Hannah sits. She’s alone for several moments. There’s a peal of thunder
.