ANGEL'S KISS (A Dark Angel's Novel) (19 page)

“I’ve never made you wait. Please, Alan.” I tried pulling my hand free as my hips ground down on his still-firm cock. I opened my eyes to beg again, but my heart stopped when I saw Ellasar’s black eyes staring out at me from Alan’s face. A shiver of fear ran through me and I scrambled to disentangle myself from our joining.

“My Qadash, I would never leave you wanting.” He held me in place easily despite my struggles. He locked both of my hands above my head with one of his, leaving one hand free to cup my bottom and maneuver himself deeper inside me. As he pushed deeper I could feel the very crest rubbing and pulling over an ultra-sensitive spot inside me. I’ve never felt anything like it. The sensation was as soft as satin, yet electrifying. I thought this was all a myth, just something to sell Harlequin romances.

“No!” I tried to scream, but my cry came out as more of a moan. He slowly pushed deeper, stretching me, shaping me around him. Again he found that spot, and I couldn’t force my body to fight, even knowing it wasn’t Alan holding me. The intense pleasure was too intoxicating.

I held my breath. My muscles pulsed and quivered around him, squeezing and pulling every inch inside me. These sensations and my own desire mesmerized me. My head dropped back and my mouth opened in a silent scream.

He thrust again. Stars burst behind my closed eyes and I shattered. He released my arms and I wrapped them around his shoulders. He grounded me as the bolt of lightning filled me up. Just as my tremors slowed, I felt his release. Every wave stroked my hypersensitive flesh. I was reduced to pure animal. My claws marked his back.

I was lost. God help me, because at that moment I didn’t want to be found.

Dinner with Zeke

“Oh, man, Lexie that was incredible. Hey, you in there?” He pulled away from the wall and I heard the slap on my ass before I felt it. My eyes flew open and I saw Alan’s blue eyes staring down at me. I wanted to scream, but I bit it back and pushed it down into that oh-so-full place where I was storing a lot of shit lately.

“You look like you’re about to cry. I know it’s been an emotional couple of days; maybe that’s why this was so powerful. Don’t cry, babe.”

“I’m great, Alan,” I said shaking off the tears and putting on a fake smile.

“That was…unbelievable, wasn’t it?”

I thought that might be the biggest understatement of all time.

I didn’t want him to scrutinize me, so I buried my face in his chest, hiding my emotions behind an embrace. It worked. He was too lost in the moment to watch me too closely. He slapped my ass again and moved to his side of the shower. I’d always loved the way we designed the shower with two heads so we could take a shower together, but right now I didn’t need him this close.

“Ow, shit, the water’s stinging my back. Hey, Lex, take a look. Did you scratch me?”

I had marked his back with my nails. The scratches were deep enough that tiny drops of blood had oozed up and were washing away with the water. A whole new level of shame washed over me. I’ve never lost control like that.

“Alan, I’m so sorry. I’ve cut up your back with my nails.” I looked down at my hands, wondering how I could have done that. He moved in closer and pulled me into a big hug. In typical male fashion, he seemed pleased with himself.

“Ooooh, Lex, I didn’t know you had it in ya. You were really into it. I love that more than anything.” He gave me a crooked smile. “I hope my girlfriend doesn’t notice; there’ll be hell to pay.”

“Funny.” I gave him a half smile and slapped his arm as I stepped back into the shower. The warm spray washed away the tears that streamed down my face. I felt violated in so many ways it was incomprehensible. Worse, I had enjoyed it more than any sexual experience I’d ever had. What did that say about me? I needed to call B. Shit, I wondered if Ben was somewhere outside. Confusion and anger fought to dominate my mood.

“Alan, I’m really too tired to go out. Tony’s sounds wonderful, though. Maybe you could just get some takeout?” I tried to keep as much anger as possible out of my voice, and I kept my face in the water. I couldn’t take it if Alan’s eyes were black again or if he saw the emotions I was trying to hide.

“Sure, hon, no problem. We have had some crappy luck, haven’t we?” He continued washing off as he talked. “It may take a little while, though, they sounded really busy. I’ll open a bottle of wine and bring it up before I go. The house is a mess down there; we can camp out up here for a while. And don’t worry. Dennis came while you were asleep, and his guys will be here first thing tomorrow to start the repairs.”

“I love you, Alan.” I hugged him burying my face in his chest.

“Me too, babe, but you’re going to break…my…ribs,” he said a little breathlessly.

“Oh, sorry, honey.” I dropped my arms and turned my face back to the water. I guess I wasn’t containing my anger or my new-found strength very well.

Alan finished his shower and took off, but I stayed, scrubbing myself so vigorously that my skin turned pink and prunie, before turning off the water. I was getting angrier and angrier, or maybe I was feeling fear. How could I protect myself? and how had Ellasar taken over Alan? I needed B to answer my questions.

I opened the shower door, but stopped to write “Fuck you!” in the steam before I got out. “I hope you get that message Ellasar!” I shouted. Then I dried off and put on some sweats and a tank top. My phone and the glass of wine that Alan had poured me were on my night stand, and I grabbed them up, threw my favorite old sweater over my shoulders, and headed for the stairs. I didn’t allow myself to look at the sun room on my way to the front porch—the wreckage would only depress me.

The night air was cool and crisp. I pulled my long sweater tighter and yelled for Ben to see if he was near, but he didn’t answer. I moved to the swing and checked my phone. I had fifty unopened emails, but instead of looking at them, I pushed the call button and dialed B. William picked up.

“Sera Haven,” he said formally.

“William, hey. It’s Lexie. Can you get B? I need to talk to her.”

“Miss Alexandria, I am glad to hear that you are well and survived the latest attempt.”

“Yeah, I survived.” I didn’t feel like a survivor, but more like a prisoner trapped in an alternate universe.

“Right away, Miss.”

As I waited, Zeke came tromping up the steps. I froze. Was he here for a social call, or was someone else here to kill me? He sat down beside me and nudged my arm out of his way so he could plant his head in my lap. He seemed relaxed and that made me breathe again. I scratched behind his ears.

“I’d ask you to sit with me, but you’re too big. I don’t think the swing would hold both of us.” He huffed and jumped up on the swing. Good thing Dennis had gotten auto springs for the swing—we needed all the strength and flexibility we could get as the swing bounced almost to the floor and back.

As the swing steadied, Zeke laid his head on my lap and stretched out, taking up the rest of the seat. He weighed a ton—even his head was heavy. I had to untangle my legs so his head could rest on both of them. As I patted him, I asked, “Why are you here, Zeke? Who sent you to me?” As if he understood, he looked up and licked my face.

“Ew,” I squealed, almost dropping the phone.

“
Alexandria
, are you all right? What has happened?”

Zeke growled at B’s voice. His whole body vibrated, which in turn made me vibrate, but he didn’t lift his head. He saved that for Ben, who ran up the steps two at a time.

“
Alexandria
, are you still there, and what was that noise? I’ve alerted Ben. He should be at your door now.
Alexandria
?”

As fun as it is to keep B waiting, I answered. “I’m here, B. I’ve been visited again by Ellasar—twice—and that growl is my new best friend, Zeke.”

“Is Ben there?”

“Yeah, he just arrived, but I don’t think Zeke is too fond of him. That’s what made him growl.”

“The feeling’s mutual, mutt.” Ben gave Zeke his own version of a growl.

“Like every male, he’s probably staking a claim to you.” B’s condescending tone really will drive me crazy. “You’re making friends fast,
Alexandria
.”

“B.” I emphasized the single letter to annoy her. “I called to ask some questions. I guess you heard what happened today.” As I said it, I looked to Ben for confirmation. He nodded, and took the chair farthest away from me and Zeke. Zeke laid his head back on my lap. I couldn’t see, but I’d bet his eyes were cracked open so he could watch Ben.

“Yes, and I had planned to wait until tomorrow to chastise you for evading Ben. You’re lucky to be alive.”

There was the ‘I told you so’ I’d been waiting for. “It was more than luck, B.”

I rubbed Zeke’s big head and scratched down his neck. “Do you need a new home, big guy?” He howled before licking me again. I laughed and wiped my face with the sleeve of my sweater. “I’ll take that as a yes, although my laundry bill will go through the roof.”

B was in the background screaming at me, but she could wait. “Are you housebroken?” I asked with a stern look at Zeke. He jumped up so fast that the swing almost gave me whiplash. He ran to Ben and raised his leg to pee on Ben’s shoe. Luckily, Ben was fast, too. Just a few drops made their mark. I looked up and saw sheer rage on Ben’s face.

“Zeke!” I could hardly contain my laughter. “Bad dog! We’re all on the same side here. Don’t do that again.” He whimpered and hung his head. Ben looked as if he was ready to attack, and I saw Zeke turn toward Ben with the side of his jowl raised.

“Okay, okay, Zeke.” I put the phone back to my ear.

“B, Zeke is going to stay with me, so you can tell Ben to back off some.”

Silence. That’s never a good sign from B.

Ben stood up. He looked angry. I got between them and frowned at the dog. “Zeke, that’s enough.” I glanced at Ben. “I’m sorry for Zeke’s behavior, it won’t happen again.” Zeke flopped down with his back to us, and the tense moment seemed to be over.

“Thank you for taking care of me today,” I said to Ben. “I don’t want to get rid of you, but you can see where it would be easier to explain Zeke going everywhere with me than to tell Alan and my office that I’ve hired a bodyguard.” His anger seemed to come down a notch as he thought it through.

“I am grateful that he was here today to save you when I failed. I understand your feelings, but Alex—we don’t know who sent him or who he works for. Don’t put all your trust in him just because he saved you from that underling.”

Ben stepped closer to Zeke, who pretended to sleep. “And if you ever attempt to piss on me again, I’ll have your head mounted and hung above my fireplace.”

Zeke yawned. Ben’s face turned red again, but I couldn’t worry about whether the boys would play together nicely or not. B was yelling in my ear.

“
Alexandria
, answer me this instant!” B’s not used to being kept waiting.

“I’m here B—I mean Beatrix.” No need in annoying her anymore tonight. I wanted some answers, and Alan would be home soon.

“Earlier tonight, Ellasar visited me in a dream, which I think he manufactured from my memories. He released me from the vision, because Alan was trying to wake me. But worst, B, he… he…” I looked up at Ben and down at Zeke, who now seemed interested in the conversation. “I was…well…”

“Spit it out,
Alexandria
, I’d like to get some sleep tonight.”

“B, he controlled my hand and made me write a note on the shower wall. And...well, he seemed to take over Alan while we…” I glanced at Ben again. No point in floundering—everyone knew what I didn’t want to say. “Sex, B. He was controlling Alan somehow while we had sex. I didn’t know until he made an odd comment and I looked into his eyes. They were black and he spoke to me. It was Alan’s face and lips, but it wasn’t Alan. B how could he do that? I…I.”

I felt so miserable that I’d have cried if I’d had any tears left. “I need to know what’s going on and what the rules are, B. Did you know he could do that?” Zeke had gotten up and was standing by my side with his head resting on my hand. Ben was on the other side of me surveying the yard and searching for anything out of the ordinary.

“
Alexandria
, I cannot keep him from your dreams. Only you can control that, and it will take practice. I’m more worried about the physical control he had while you were awake. What were his intentions? Did he speak to you in the dream or after sex?”

Her attitude upset me more than I’d thought possible. I’d just told her that Ellasar had all but raped me, and she turned practical and logical. I didn’t have anyone else I could talk to about this, and I guess I’d been hoping for some compassion.

“B, how did you get to be so cold?” I was terrified that I might turn out to be like her. I was already pushing everything so far down that I had lied to my husband. We knew each other totally. We were soul mates, and now he was cut out of a part of my world. I hadn’t felt that tremendous loss until this moment, but the thought threatened to buckle my legs.

No. I was done with meltdowns. I’d already given in too much to these feelings of helplessness. I wanted to survive all this, but to do so, would I have to change who I am? And if so, will it be worth it? Could I live with the person I’d become?