ANGEL'S KISS (A Dark Angel's Novel) (39 page)

“It’s time to go on.” Ottie’s voice saved me from the ugly memory. “I’m not saying you won’t still hurt, but you have got to get up and live each day.”

“I’m just so tired, Ottie.” A part of my soul had been ripped from my chest. I’d pushed everything down—my mother, finding out about my grandparents—but Alan had been the thing that broke the camel’s back. I doubled over and closed my eyes.

Ottie gave me a little shake. “I know, Lex, but really—what’s the alternative? This?” He looked around the room, forcing me to look at the mess again. It hurt to see how the room mirrored my own despair. I knew he was right. I’d wallowed for …

“What day is it?”

“Sunday. It’s been more than a week since Alan left.”

That made me mad. “He didn’t just leave, Ottie.”

The look on his face made me regret my tone.

“I’m sorry, Ottie.” I put my head back in my hands. I heard the plastic over the door crackle and then a huge, soft, stinky nose pushed my hands out of the way and Zeke put his head in my lap. I put my arms around him and he whimpered.

“You, too?” Zeke pulled his head back, making me sit up. Then he pushed my shoulder. “I know. I know it’s time to get up.”

Ottie stood. “Alan left. He just got in his car and took off. You don’t know what he was up to or if he was into something illegal. That’s the official story, got it? We don’t figure he’ll ever be found. Most everything is in your name, so nothing needs to be done right now. Later on you can file for divorce. It may take longer since he won’t be found, but Virgil Watson will take care of it for us.”

“Ahhhhhh!” I shot up off the floor, startling Ottie and Zeke. My arm and leg muscles all tightened painfully. The overwhelming anger at Alan’s betrayal warred with the pain of losing my mother again, it was too much to contain.

“That’s my girl! Anger can see you through the pain. Now get yer ass in the shower, cold water will wake you up. I put some workout clothes in the room down here. We’re goin’ for a run.”

Ottie started cleaning up the dishes again, and Zeke pushed me into action. Ottie was right. I knew that, but exhaustion weighed on every fiber of my being. I hit the shower, my legs as heavy as if I were walking through knee-deep surf.

I let the cold water hit my face for what seemed like an hour. It didn’t help. I was still angry, so Ottie let me set the pace of our run. After a sluggish start, I began to sprint. Both he and Zeke pulled back and let me go. Running felt wonderful—just to let go completely and fly. By the time they caught up with me, the thick, salty air was burning my nostrils and my face was wet from my watering eyes. I swear I wasn’t crying. I promised myself: no more tears for Alan. They followed silently as I hobbled back to the house.

Dennis was just finishing the cleanup downstairs. No evidence from the week before remained except for a few dents in the drywall.

“Hey, Sis! How was your run?” He asked me, but he eyed Ottie for the answer. I let it go.

“It was fine.” I went into the kitchen to get a drink. “Thanks for cleaning up my mess. I really appreciate it.”

“No big deal. Ottie and I thought with you being so tired and stuff, plus with Zeke…you know, maybe you’d like to stay down here for a while. I moved some of your clothes, just basics, to the guest room.” He didn’t give me a chance to answer. “I can move them back up if you’d rather not.”

As I took a drink from the bottle of water I had snagged from the fridge, I watched them both dancing around the issue. So I decided to dance, too.

“No, that’s great. Good idea. Thanks, Dennis. Very practical with Zeke needing to go out.” I sat on the landing and untied my shoes. Ottie and Dennis watched me as if at any moment I might sprout wings and fly away.

“Guys, it’s okay. I won’t go postal. Well, at least not in the next few minutes, I hope.” It almost made me laugh to see both big guys take a deep breath and lower their shoulders. Almost.

“I’m just going to take a shower and get some rest.” They didn’t move. “You’re off duty now, guys.” I stood up, and both of them stepped back as if I’d startled them. Dennis came forward and hugged me.

“I’m so sorry, Sis. If I could find him, I’d kick his ass!” He ground the words out through his teeth. “Hey, I have some friends of some friends up north who could help us find him and break his knee caps. How about that?” He had a devious smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Thanks. But no, it’s better if I just let it go.” I stole a glance at Ottie.

“Okay, everyone stop hovering. I’ll be fine.” As I said it, I hoped it was true. “Go on with yourselves.”

I started shooing them out of the house. Ottie protested, but I ignored him. “Go on. I’m just going to shower and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”

Dennis, at least, took the hint. “That’s our cue. Come on, Ottie, let’s go have a beer.”

“Yeah, you can tell me about these friends of yours up north.” Ottie was teasing Dennis, trying to be light-hearted, but with our strange, new relationship, I could feel his tension.

“All right, we’re heading out,” Ottie told me. “Do you need anything before we go?”

“No, I don’t need anything. Thanks, Ottie, for everything.”

“Yeah, yeah, no sweat. There’s some fried chicken in the fridge. Be sure you eat it, and I’ll see you tomorrow at the office. Got me?” It wasn’t really a question as much as a demand.

“I’ll be there with bells on.” I tried a weak smile, and I was glad he didn’t comment on it.

I sat for a few moments listening to the silent house and gazing at the stairs. I was grateful that I didn’t have to go up to our bedroom. Just thinking of that night and Alan’s betrayal was still too fresh. The thought of sleeping in that bed caused the acid in my stomach to move into my throat. I pushed it back down and concentrated on getting through the rest of the evening.

****

Ottie was right. The anger helped push me through the next few weeks. The pain was still there, but as I watched Zeke play in the surf and felt the sting of the salt air on my face and the sand between my toes, I could finally take a full breath, something that hadn’t been an option in those first few weeks. Each day it was easier to interact with everyone, and they in turn had stopped walking on eggshells around me. As much as possible, I forced myself to live in the moment and pretend that none of it happened.

“Dum Dum Dum.” The theme to the A-Team shot into my ears through the tiny ear buds, startling me. I’d been listening to Pink sing about stupid girls. I love that song. The A-team music that Ottie put on our phones is annoying. Why he felt the need to set specific ring tones is beyond me. Anyway. Knowing that he wouldn’t give up until I answered, I pushed the green button. Of course, Ottie was talking before I could even say hi.

“Hey, girl, what’s up?” He was trying for casual, but I could feel his anxiety. He’s still worried about me. He knows that weekends are hard—too much quiet time. That’s one of the reasons that Zeke and I started coming to the beach. It’s peaceful without being silent. At least it was.

“Hey, Ottie, nothing much. Zeke and I just finished our run. Now I’m watching him try to catch the gulls. I’m always surprised at how fast he is.” The sun bounced off the waves, shooting sparks of light everywhere. I absently tried to use my hand as a visor.

“Cool. You want some company? I could be there in about ten minutes. Take you to breakfast?”

I didn’t answer, because something was picking at my senses. Anxiety tickled up my spine, deep and rich, yet high-pitched and painful. It started at the small of my back and worked its way up.

The coffee I’d had this morning turned to sour acid in my stomach as I watched the sun glint off Ellasar’s bald head. My hand rubbed the itch on my forehead, and Zeke dashed back and took up guard duty before Ellasar could reach me.

“Lex? Lexie! What’s wrong? I feel it. Talk to me!” Ottie yelled. I placed my hand along Zeke’s side to help calm myself and in turn calm Ottie. We hadn’t worked on our new connection, so he got everything I felt.

Zeke snarled as a muzzle appeared on his nose. The growl deepened, but he didn’t fight it. Yet.

“Ottie, I gotta go.”

“No! What’s wrong? I heard Zeke growl.”

“It’s just a visitor I wasn’t expecting,” I said with disgust, hoping Ellasar could hear me. “It’s okay, really.”

“Ellasar.” He knew whom I was referring to. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“No. I’ll call you later. Trust me, Ottie. Stay put.” I hit the disconnect button. The threads that bound us also ordered his actions, and I knew he couldn’t go against me. I hated doing that, but I didn’t know how to control this connection yet. Even if he came, he couldn’t help. I dropped my head and pulled Zeke closer as I felt Ellasar’s cold shadow block the sun.

“Leave me alone. Please.” As Ellasar sat beside me, the sun’s warmth returned.

“I cannot, my Qadesh.”

“Stop calling me that. And go away.” I knew he wouldn’t go, but I had to ask. A small part of me was still drawn to him, even as I tried to make him leave.

I dared a look to see if he was as beautiful as the picture in my memory. With that tiny glimpse, the need to touch him grew. I quickly looked out to the water. But I caught sight of a rich brown roll of paper that was secured by a worn leather strap. The paper reminded me of documents that I had seen in museums under glass. It had to be very old.

“My Qadesh, I have brought you a gift.” He held the rolled paper out to me. It looked too delicate to touch. I didn’t reach for it. I didn’t want to encourage him.

“You told me you were patient, that you wouldn’t bother me. Please leave me alone.” I closed my eyes and laid my head partially on Zeke and partially on my own drawn up arms.

“You must see this. I would not force you into this if your safety were not at risk.”

“My safety. Huh! Alan’s gone! You took care of that. You’re the only one I have to fear now.” Anger filled my words, but my voice broke and tears filled my eyes. I would not cry. I hated it when anger set off tears, making me even more furious.

“You have nothing to fear from me. My Qadesh, I have waited many lifetimes to find you again. I would never harm you.”

“Then why are you here? Your presence alone hurts me.” Exhaustion draped me like a warm blanket, and my forehead burned. “Why must I look at that, Ellasar? I have a bad feeling that if I look, I’ll be in more trouble than if I just keep pretending that none of this is real.”

“Ah, ignorance is bliss. You would prefer to bury your head in the sand here—allow yourself to be oblivious to the blow that might kill you. I mistakenly took you for someone who’d prefer to see the blow coming, knowing that you still had options to maneuver.” He moved his hand back slightly. “My mistake.”

“Let me see it.” I held out my hand. “But if this is some sort of trick, I’ll kill you myself.” He handed it to me without saying a word. Smart man.

The paper was thick, but it felt brittle and the leather strap was as soft as a flower petal. I untied the binding and unrolled the old paper carefully. At first all I could see were the black markings of what looked like an old quill pen. The ink strokes were straight lines, but the ends were not blunt but swished.

As more of the scroll became visible, I saw an old Egyptian scene. A river flowed in the background, and at the foreground was a person…a naked woman. She was facing me, not in profile as most of the Egyptian pictures I’d seen. She stood on a lioness, her arms were crossed, and she held two daggers. One looked like Annot, bright and shiny. Seeing the image on paper, I realized that the handle was shaped like an ankh—the Egyptian symbol for eternity.

The second dagger was similar to mine, except that on mine the guard formed a perpendicular cross where the oval and blade joined the handle, but on the second dagger, the guard folded back toward the handle. Also where mine was bright, this dagger was as dark as coal. A chill ran through me at the thought of touching its cold blade.

I forced myself to look at the rest of the picture. The woman had long hair topped with a huge crown that looked like a circle sitting in a bowl. A thick rope hung around her neck. Something about her eyes was familiar. As I gazed at the picture, Ellasar spoke, startling me out of the hold it had on me.

“It is you, my Qadesh.”

“What?” I quickly tried to give the paper back.

“No. I need you to keep it.” He sat perfectly still.

“Nooo, nope, don’t want it.” I rolled it up and tied the string. Then a thought occurred to me. “Wait—you said something about my safety. What does this picture have to do with my safety?”

“Look again, my Qadesh.”

I rolled my eyes but unfurled the picture to take another look. This time I tried to focus on the whole picture, not just the face.

“She’s holding my dagger, Annot.” As its name left my lips, I felt its warmth pulsing against my back. Startled, I sat up straighter. I hadn’t brought it with me for our run this morning, but it was there nonetheless.

“Yes, you hold Annot. The other dagger, the dark one, is the twin to yours and has been lost for centuries. As was yours, until it came to you. Do you see anything else that you recognize?”

I looked closer, turning the paper around to work with the glint of the sun off the surf.