Angels of Moirai (Book One) (18 page)

We got our ice-cream as planned, and it tasted perfect. By the time we got to school, I’d felt completely relaxed. We’d laughed all the way to school, reminiscing on old movies and funny movie quotes. It wasn’t until we stepped out of my car did the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach reappear, and I remembered the English exam I was about to attend in a couple of hours. It wasn’t an exam I could really study for. We wouldn’t know the question until we saw it, and then we would have to write an essay on the topic.

Jackie stayed by my side as we said goodbye to Hayley and headed to the library to study, mainly for the other exams later on in the week.

“There’s James. Are you going to say hello?” Jackie said as we reached the entrance to the library.

“Um…”

James caught my eye. He was walking towards the library. He smiled, but turned his direction down another hall and continued away from me.

“What was that about?”

I paused. “We’re not together anymore.”

“What?!”

“Yeah,” I said as we walked into the library and found our way to the tables at the back of the room. “We broke up.”

“When?”

Sitting down at the table, I continued, “On Thursday. We thought we could try to be friends, so that’s why we went to the formal together, but I couldn’t do it.”

“I knew something was up with you. I thought you guys were just having a lover’s tiff. So, that’s it then?”

“Yeah. When I left the formal, he took me home and we agreed that it was too hard to be just friends. So we are trying to try little contact
slash
no contact method thing...”

“And how’s that working out for ya?”

“It’s hard… but I’m trying to focus on school.”

Jackie agreed, “Good idea.”

“Anyway,” I said. “I was going to ask you about the formal. How was it?”

“It was great! Although it would have been better with you.”

“How did your performance go?”

“Really well. My parents loved it. Jacob said I looked like an angel up on stage, can you believe it?” she laughed.

“Yes, because you are! You two look good together.”

“Thanks,” she replied chuffed.

I was genuinely happy for her and she deserved the world.

“How was everything else?”

“It was pretty good. We danced for a bit, and then had dinner. There were speeches that went for
way
too long. I don’t know who it was, but someone actually snuck into the tech room and cut the microphone.”

I laughed so hard, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it was pretty funny. So they decided to put the music on and everyone danced for the rest of the night. Pretty sure some of the guys snuck in some drinks the way they were dancing, especially Dale. By the end of the night, he was hilarious.”

“Of course they did, any excuse for those guys,” I chuckled. “I’m glad everyone had a good time.”

“Yeah, it was good. Although, I was worried about you for most of the night, especially when you didn’t reply to my texts. Speaking of, everyone knows that you stormed off with James not long after you arrived.”

I sighed. “I didn’t storm off… well not completely… but I kind of guessed that would happen.”

“Yeah.”

“Right, well, let’s not think about that dickhead anymore.”

“He’s not a dickhead.”

“He is if he doesn’t see how good you are. He should fight until the very end of time to be with you. You’re worth nothing less.”

I laughed at her.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve got this for you too,” she said, pulling out a rolled up parchment from her bag. “It’s your Graduation Certificate.”

I held out my hand to grab it but she pulled it back.

“All you have to do now is study your ass off, or it will all be for nothing and you’ll risk having to repeat a year in this wretched place!”

I laughed. “Yeah, and by the looks of next year’s seniors, it wouldn’t be good!”

We studied in the library for the next hour or so until our English exam. I felt confident when I completed my exam, as the topic was the impact and dangers of social media, something I already had strong opinions on.

I found myself on the oval eating lunch with Jackie as usual, and it suddenly dawned on us that this was the last week we would be doing this.

“It’s crazy to think how much our lives are going to change in the next couple of months. I’m a little scared by it to be honest,” I admitted to Jackie.

“You’ll be fine, Lila. You’ll have your pick to any University, I guarantee.”

“It’s not just that. It’s everything…”

What was going to happen with James and me when I finished school? What about Hayley? I used to think about my future plans all the time. That’s what I did. I was a planner, yet, now I took every day as it came. I was so unsure about what my future held. It was scary, but also a little exciting at the same time.

“Everything will just happen as it should. Sometimes you can’t control everything, Lila. You just gotta go with it, go with your destiny.”

I choked on my sandwich and started laughing. “You’re right. I should leave it up to my fate.”

I stopped laughing when I saw Maddison with Kassidy, as usual, looking like she was on a war path, and coming straight for me. “Uh oh.”

“Lila, is it true? Did James dump you?” Maddison asked in her posh, rude, bitch voice.

I swallowed the food in my mouth and stood up in front of Maddison, Jackie quickly at my side.

“Is it any of your business?”

Maddison pushed her chest out as she crossed her arms. Deliberately raising her eyebrows, she laughed wickedly, “So it is true then? OMG, you poor thing.” Leaning forward she ridiculed, “But you must have seen it coming? I mean… look at you-”

“Yes, look at her,” James interjected.

He was standing next to me and I felt my heart race.

Maddison took a step back and stuttered, “Uh…I was just asking-”

“About Lila’s and my relationship?”

“Well, yeah,” Maddison replied.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” James snapped back, “but Lila and I have separated, yes.”

Maddison smiled at James’s words. “So, you’re back on the market?”

“No, Maddison. Unfortunately, Lila has set a very high bar and I doubt anyone will ever be able to match it.”

Maddison frowned, and giving up, she left with a parting word, “Well, if you change your mind and want to hang out-”

“No,” James replied sharply.

Maddison looked as if she had just been spat on. Her face squished up into a look of disgust as she turned and stormed off with Kassidy running after her.

James, Jackie, and I were left standing there in silence. I pinched my bottom lip and shuffled my feet, looking at Jackie for help. James was calling all the shots, and now I had no idea what to do or say.

When he caught my eye, he gave me no loving indication that he still cared for him, instead, he very calmly said goodbye and walked away without another word.

I felt my body crumble in on itself, and my knees went weak.

It’s all part of the plan
, I said repeatedly in my head.

It didn’t matter how many times I said it, the way James was so blunt with me hurt, and I couldn’t hide it.

I turned to Jackie, holding on to my stomach, I hung my head. She reached out and hugged me, whispering soothing words of empathy and encouragement that it would get better. Time would heal everything.

***

I waited up for James that night. I didn’t know if he was going to come to me. He didn’t the night before, but I needed him tonight. I needed the reassurance.

I’d done all the study I could for that day, so I sat crossed legged on my bed, my body pressed against the headboard.

The curtains were drawn, so I listened for a sound, an indication James was coming, and I was gifted beautifully just before ten in the evening when I heard the sound of the balcony door opening.

I held off going to him. Instead, I waited for him, and I knew the moment he walked through those doors and smiled down on me that everything was okay.

I jumped up on the bed and into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. He hugged me tightly before setting me down on my feet. He held the sides of my head, as my lips parted in anticipation of his lips that met mine only moments later.

It was kiss of reassurance and of desire.

He pulled his mouth from mine and whispered, “I’m sorry, Lila. I hated doing that to you. I could see the hurt in your eyes and it killed me.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s something we have to do. I’m not going to lie, it hurts, but if it means I can have these moments with you, then I’m willing to do it.”

“It won’t be forever, I promise you. We will find a way to be together without fear or consequence.”

I touched his cheek in admiration. “I hope so.”

11… WILD FLOWER

With exams this week, we were given permission to come and go from school as we pleased. We didn’t have to stay on school grounds for the entire school day. This enabled many of us to study at home and only come into school to do our final assessments and go home.

Limited hours at school made it easier for James and me not to see each other at school. I figured it would be easier avoiding him in the public eye, than having to face rejection.

We didn’t see each other on Tuesday at all, but James warned me we might not. On Wednesday, I went to school early before my Maths exam to try to find a book that would miraculous give me the answers I needed. I hated math, and I’m pretty sure it hated me. Searching through the book queues for a textbook that popped out at me, preferably saying ‘All Your Math Questions Answered’, I spotted a note tucked in between two books.

I tilted my head to the side and pulled it slowly from the bookshelf. The ivory paper was soft and delicate against my fingers as I opened it. I could tell immediately by the hand writing it was from James.

Smile, Math loves you.

I looked up from the note beaming.

“Now, there’s the smile I adore.”

I turned at the sound of James’s voice. My head darted between the queues, paranoid that someone heard James.

“Nobody heard. Nobody’s coming,” he said in a low voice.

“Should I be scared?” I tried to be serious, my smile breaking through.

“Very.”

He pressed me up against the bookshelf with one hand resting on my hipbone, the other holding the shelf behind my head.

He had me exactly where he wanted me and when he tilted his head, kissing me softly on my neck, I surrendered. My breath hitched in my throat and I devoured his lips against my neck, but just as I let myself go, I felt James reach behind me with his hands.

His kisses stopped as he pulled back from me with two books in his hand.

“These are the books you’ll need,” he said, handing them to me, “trust me.”

I looked at the covers and smirked, “So, you do know my fate then?”

He could have picked those two math textbooks just for the sake of it, or he knew they were what I needed for my exam.

He laughed, “I wish. It would make me feel more at ease if I knew what the future had in store for you, but all I know right now, is these are the books you’ll need right now. This could be because of my abilities, or the fact I’ve sat in many math exams and know what they’ll ask.”

He leaned forward, kissed my cheek, and then said goodbye with a wink.

I sighed, took a seat at my usual table, and began the painful task of studying for my math exam, but crawling into a hole for eternity seemed a better option at this point.

As I scribbled notes in my exercise book that
might
be key points I needed for the exams, I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

I smiled in response, thinking James had come back to see me, but when I turned my head to the side to see him, I was graced with a much less pleasant sight.

“Noah,” I said in shock.

“Lila,” he grinned, baring his teeth.

I stood abruptly in my chair. “What are you doing here?”

Noah smirked, “Look, I'm sorry about the other night. Let me make it up to you.”

“Ummm.”

I glanced over his shoulder, but the library assistant was busy at her computer. It was just Noah and I.

I fidgeted with the pen in my hand, aware that my palms had become sweaty in his presence.

He barely took any notice of my discomfort as he stepped closer and breathed, “I want to take you to dinner. My shout.”

I stumbled on what to say. “No thanks, Noah. I'm really too busy with school and everything to be going out to dinner.”

Noah's face hardened. “Is that the real reason you don't want to go to dinner with me, or is it that you're still hung up on James.”

“No... No... I…” I stuttered. He was starting to make me feel very uncomfortable the way he drew nearer to me.

“You're too pretty for someone like James. You have too much to offer.”  It may have been a compliment, but the way he slurred his words made it anything but.

“Okay, Noah. I've really got to get back to study.”

I touched the paper on the desk, trying to state the importance of it, but he wasn’t having any of it.

“I'm not finished with this conversation.”

“Well, I am,” I said defensively.

I turned my body from him and quickly gathered my belongings, but as I moved the textbook away from him, his hand came down hard on its surface.

“You're not going anywhere.”

His face darkened and I felt a cool shiver run down my spine. I edged away from him.

“I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, Noah, but you’re not yourself. Now, please, let me be.”

He removed his hand from my book. Thinking I’d gotten through to him, I quickly pulled the text book into my hand and tried to make my retreat, but the moment I passed him, he grabbed hold of my arm, startling me.

I looked over at the library assistant but she was gone. Thankfully, we weren’t alone though. In a flash, James had appeared. Grabbing Noah by the cuff of his shirt, he forced him against the wall. The cool, calm, and collected, James was gone.

I could see the muscles in his arms tense under his school shirt as they held Noah in place, his grip not loosening one bit.

“Never touch her again,” James warned through his teeth.

Noah twisted a smile at James’s words. “Interesting,” he replied.

James’s eyes narrowed in on him. It appeared I wasn’t the only one confused by Noah’s behaviour and his reaction to James.

“James,” I said softly, breaking James from his tight hold on Noah.

He took a step back and let go of Noah. Straightening his back, he composed himself. “Leave.”

Noah didn’t stop smiling as he walked away without saying another word.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be here earlier. Truth be told, I had no indication Noah was going to do that to you.”

I could see the worry I had caused James. Hell, I was worried myself.

Noah was increasingly becoming more unbearable to be around. The older he got, the ruder he seemed to become. He was becoming just like his father and it was a sad sight to see. I didn’t think the community could cope with another man like Noah’s dad. He was all things unpleasant, and frightened many people.

I frowned at what just happened and at the strangeness of it all.

“What is it?”

I stumbled, “It's just...” I shook my head. “Never mind. It's fine.”

I decided against delving into my confusion about Noah’s behaviour. James seemed conflicted and worried enough about it. Instead, I told him I was fine and needed to get back to study. He didn’t object and went on his way quickly, but assured me he would be seeing me later.

***

James had been right, of course. The textbooks he’d chosen had pretty much everything I needed for my exams. Pity he hadn’t told me weeks before the exam. A little over an hour barely gave me time even to scratch the surface to learn it all. In the end, it did help, and I knew on some level I did okay in the exam…okay enough to pass, that is.

He seemed quite chuffed with himself when he proved to be right. He even gave me a sly smirk when we were doing the exam.

We didn’t mention the Noah situation again, and I was thankful. I had enough on my plate to worry about.

“I’m not giving you any credit for knowing what was on the exam,” I said later that night as we both lay cuddling on my bed. “You’re an Angel of Fate. You can’t really get kudos when you already know what’s going to happen.”

“Whatever,” he replied.

I rolled into him and laughed. “The twenty first century must really be rubbing off on you!”

Although James liked to ‘adjust’ his language, so to speak to fit into our society, he rarely strayed far from proper English. I was used to hearing him say ‘whatever’, but it made my whole body shake with laughter.

James rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately, I think so. Did you know words like ‘hot mess’, ‘side boob’, and ‘YOLO’ were added to the English dictionary this year. It’s disturbing the way the English language is going.”

I laughed, “I happen to think ‘YOLO is a good one. You only live once.”

“I disagree.”

This time I was the one rolling my eyes. “Well, we don’t all turn into Angels of Moirai, do we?”

“Thankfully, no.”

“You can be so cynical sometimes, you know that?”

“Well, I’m grateful you used the word ‘cynical’ and not something like ‘ass-wipe’.”

“It was on the tip of my tongue,” I teased.

He squeezed me tightly. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to do it, but if you had seen the world change like I have, you would be somewhat contemptuous of it as well.”

“I know what you mean,” I agreed with him. It had changed, and sometimes I often wondered where our basic values and morals had gone. “Is it hard? Living life as a teenager repeatedly? How many times have you done grade twelve?”

“Many,” he smiled. “I don’t always live a school life. Sometimes I go off to University or work. It wasn’t that long ago that people didn’t do schooling past a certain age anyway, so the school life is new to me.”

“What kind of work have you done?”

“Just about anything you can think of. Plumbing, lumberjack, butler, farmer… you name it, I’ve probably done it.”

“I envy that. I think it would be amazing being able to have many different careers.”

“It is.”

“How long do you stay in one place before moving on?” I paused. “How long will you stay here?”

“I don’t know, Lila. Many factors play a role in how long we stay somewhere. I don’t know how long I will be here. It can be as short as a couple of days, or a few years. We don’t age, so it’s impossible to stay somewhere for too long.”

“How does no one recognise you from the past? And with technology these days, once your photo is taken, you’d be everywhere? People would know who you are.”

“You’re forgetting what we are, Lila, and who we serve. My image would never take to a photograph. We are Angels of Fate. Those that move among the mortals know when something as simple as getting a picture taken will happen.”

“What? So if I took a picture right now, what? There would just be a blank picture.”

He nodded his head, “Or your battery will die, or the image would be too blurry to identify.”

“What about our formal picture?”

“There will be nothing but an overexposed picture.”

I shook my head.

“You’re thinking too much into this, Lila. Even if I somehow was recognised, even though it has never and will never happen, they would never see me as who I look like. My appearance would be different for them.”

“How do you know that, if it’s never happened?”

“You’re so stubborn. You know that, don’t you?”

I nodded with a smile, “Now, answer the question.”

“When we first become angels, it was only natural that we go back to our families. It happens to us all. We think that somehow, we have cheated death, and we can go back to our loved ones…. I went back to my family, and when I tried to tell them who I was, it was as if I was unable to speak. They didn’t recognise me, and every time I tried to tell them who I was, the words came out jumbled. When we were ready to accept who we were, then we changed back into the image of the person we died as.

“Being an angel and immortal changes you in every way. We are not like humans. We don’t feel the way humans do. Our emotions don’t define our lives. Not until now, anyway. You’ve brought the humanity out in me. Feelings long forgotten.”

“What’s the point in even living if you cannot feel?”

“Humanity makes us vulnerable. It makes us weak.”

I sat up from the bed thinking about everything James had said.

“So when you leave here, that will be it. That will be the end of us? Even if we met again, we would never know.”

The mood had become sombre. I felt like the little hope I had left for James, and I was fading away.

James held my hands. “I will never let that happen. I will fight for us, Lila. I will fight every demon and The Creator himself if I have to.”

He turned my chin towards him. “They will not take you from me.” He pressed his lips against mine as a tear slid down the side of my face. An indication of the emotion, as James called it; the fear of the unknown settling a deep unease within me.

***
 

On my way to school on Thursday for the final day of exams, my mind was filled with thoughts about key points I needed to remember.