Angels of Moirai (Book One) (8 page)

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine. I only had a couple of drinks.”

I sighed in relief that everything was okay. “You scared me tonight. I’d thought something had happened to you.”

Hayley smiled and gave me a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said hugging her back. “Are you going to still stay at Poppy’s tonight?”

“I thought that would be better. Make sure she’s okay.”

Poppy’s mum pulled into the driveway in her red Audi.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Hayley said as her and Poppy walked towards the car and jumped inside.

It wasn’t until I watched them get in the car and drive away did I remember why I’d come.

“James,” I said quietly.

“There you are,” a familiar voice said.

I turned back towards the house to find Dale walking, or should I say,
stumbling
, towards me.

“I’ve been arr looking everywhere for you missy moo,” he slurred. “The boyssss told me you were here, buda thought you’d left me!”

Great. Just when my night couldn’t get any worse.

“Dale,” I smiled grimly in reply, “I was just leaving.”

“Noooo. You can’t leave now,” he said holding onto my arm. “The party just started!”

I took a step back. “Well, I am.”

“Commonnn! Stay with me! We can have some fun!” He stepped closer to me and I could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath.

He leaned into my ear. “Like old times,” he said, placing his hand on my back and pulling me into him.

I quickly shoved him back off me. “Get off me, Dale. Go back to your party.”

“Listen to her, Dale. Go back to the party,” the sound of James’s voice filled our ears.

I turned to find him standing a few feet behind me.

“James! Bro! What are you doing?” Dale said enthusiastically. “You come to partayyyy?”

“Not tonight, Dale. Go back inside to your party,” James replied coolly.

“What! No way. Come on!”

“I’ll see you at school,” James replied without question in his voice.

Dale must have sensed the seriousness in James’s voice, as he gave up and walked back inside, but not before he slurred, “Suit yourself.”

I stood facing James-
alone
- my heart pounded against my chest.

“Lila,” he said.

“James,” I replied a little taken aback by his presence.

We stared at each other, neither one of us saying anything. I didn’t know where to start, or what to say to him.

“I-”

James interrupted, “Don’t. Whatever you think. You’re wrong.” He turned and started to walk away.

I looked at him dumbfounded. “That’s it?” I shouted after him. “That’s all you’re going to say? Everything that’s happened, and that’s the explanation I get?”

He didn’t answer me and continued to walk away.

“James!” I yelled as I quickly raced after him. I grabbed him on the arm to stop him and he instantly stopped and turned towards me.

“You don’t understand what you’re asking me to do, Lila. I can’t…” he closed his eyes and shook his head. “I can’t risk it, Lila. They…”

“They?” I interrupted. “So it was real? The forest? You said
they
weren’t happy! Who are they? How is this even happening?”

“Stop, Lila. I mean it. Leave it alone,” he said sternly.

My eyes pleaded with him, my heart paining. “I just want to know the truth,” I said quietly.

“James,” an unfamiliar voice said sharply.

We both turned to find a man standing there with his arms crossed looking at James and me. He was tall and very well built. His features were dark and cold. His eyes were like daggers and I knew I was not welcome in his presence.

“It’s time to go,” the man snapped at James.

I took a step back, trying to distance myself in fear, my breath catching in my throat. James looked torn between the man and me, but eventually, he nodded his head towards the man.

“Goodbye, Lila,” he said as he walked off down the road and into the shadows.

I stood alone in the darkness. I didn’t follow them, I didn’t dare try. I was left with an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would never see James again; even after everything that had happened, and the thought I wouldn’t see him again was something I feared the most.

5… HUMILIATION

I spent my Sunday morning out on the Jetty going over and over in my head what had happened. My ‘dreams’ had been real.
Who was he? What was he? How did he come to know who I was? Was he to blame with what happened in the pool as well? Was there even a way to explain everything that had happened and who he was? And who was that man, did have some kind of control over him? Is that why he couldn’t tell me the truth?

I ran through so many different scenarios in my head, but none of them gave me the answers I desired, and it wasn’t until Hayley came home from Poppy’s at lunch time, did I finally take my mind off James… kind of.

“Don’t you think? Lila!” Hayley said loudly snapping me out of my trance.

“Sorry, what?” I said taking my attention away from the movie we were watching and looked at her. I’d been thinking about James again. Even watching one of my favourite movies, Fired Up, my thoughts had still been consumed of James.

Hayley looked at me, frowning. “Are you okay?”

I hung my head and closed my eyes. I’d never kept anything from Hayley. I never wanted there to be any secrets between us. I trusted her with my life, but I couldn’t tell her what had happened with James. Every part of me ached to confide in her, but I couldn’t risk her safety. I didn’t know who
they
were and if they were dangerous.  The thought that telling Hayley about James and then something happening to her because I told her… I couldn’t… I couldn’t take that gamble.

I avoided eye contact as I curled up under the blanket that we were both under on the couch.

“It’s nothing,” I replied. “Just stressed about exams.”

I could see out of the corner of my eye that Hayley was staring at me. “Okay, are you sure you’re not on edge about what happened with Noah and Maddison? You can talk to me about it, you know that, right?”

I hadn’t even thought about what had happened with Noah and Maddison, but it didn’t surprise me one bit that Hayley knew about it.

“How’d you find out about it?”

“How do you think? Facebook.”

I sighed. “It’s not true, you know. Maddison no doubt is spreading a lie about me.”

“Well, apparently she walked in on you all over Noah trying to make out with him. When she caught you in the act, she said you were humiliated and in tears begging for her forgiveness.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, you’ve got to give it to her. She really likes to spin things around to make a good story.”

“So it’s not true then?”

“God, no.”

“I thought so. Didn’t sound like something you would do.”

“Nope. Maddison did walk in on Noah and me.”

Hayley’s mouth dropped.

“But not like that,” I quickly reassured. “He was being a creep and I was about to hit him with a bottle if he didn’t back off soon. That’s when Maddison walked in. We had some words, she is a real bitch, and no, I definitely didn’t cry.”

“Can’t argue with you there. Poppy’s grateful for what you did. You got her out of a messy situation, and I don’t mean helping her get sober,” she laughed to herself. “Everyone’s forgotten about how drunk Poppy was and instead, are talking about you.”

I put my head in my hands and laughed.  “Well, I’m glad I could help.”

“Anyway, who cares about them? They’ll get over it. Just as long as you’re okay?”

I turned my head towards her, trying my best to smile as I nodded and curled up into her arms. “I’ll be fine,” I said, not just to reassure her, but also myself. I didn’t care about what Maddison said about me. All that was on my mind was James. A doubt played on my mind and I just couldn’t shake it. I had never been so fearful that for the first time in Hayley’s life, I might not be able to protect her.

***

I was nervous as all hell on Monday morning. I didn't know if I’d see James at school or if I’d ever see him again. I tried my best to stay calm as I walked into school.

I met up with Jackie before our first class and filled her in on everything that happened at Dale’s party. Everything except the part about James.

We both walked through the school, casually finding our way to our class, all the while, my eyes searched for James, but he was nowhere to be seen.

As Jackie and I made our way into our science classroom, we passed a group of boys, including Noah, sitting on the desks spitting paper balls across the room.

I avoided eye contact with him but I couldn’t avoid hearing what he was saying.

“So I told her to shut her mouth and do what I pay her to do. She should be grateful I even let her clean my room. Stupid bitch wouldn’t have a job if it wasn’t for me.”

The other boys laughed at this, but you couldn’t hide the look of disgust on our faces.

“Is it just me? Or has Noah become more of an arsehole, if that even was possible,” Jackie commented as we took our usual seats at the back of the room.

“No, he definitely has.”

I managed to avoid Noah all morning, and was trying to avoid any conflict with Maddison, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen, as she walked through the classroom doors and straight over to where we were sitting.

She was with Kassidy and another girl called Breanna. Breanna had been cut from Maddison’s circle only weeks ago. She was left devastated, but by the looks of it, Maddison had let her back in and Breanna was looking as bitchy as ever.

Maddison slammed her hand on our desk and pushed our pencil cases onto the ground, replacing it with her exercises books instead.

“Real mature,” Jackie said, unafraid of Maddison and her antics.

“These are our seats,” Maddison declared, only looking at me.

“We beg to differ. We’ve been in these seats all year,” Jackie snapped.

Maddison turned to Jackie and spitefully said, “Who said you could talk to me?”

“Seriously, Maddison?” I said standing to meet her face to face. I was so sick of her shit. “Get over yourself. You’re not queen bee. You’re only where you are now because of your parents. Hell, you wouldn’t even be graduating if it wasn’t for all your parents paying bribes to overlook the fact you’re failing every class.”

There was laughter in the class, as we had suddenly become the focus of their attention.

“You bitc-”

“Maddison,” Mr Peters warned at the front of the class. “I suggest you choose your words carefully. You may have the other teachers wrapped around your finger, but not me. You’re on your last strike.”

Maddison’s teeth clenched at Mr Peters’ words. She was absolutely seething.

“I suggest you find other seats. Those are Jackie and Lila’s.”

Maddison gave in, picking up her books and storming off to another desk.

I mouthed thank you to Mr Peters and he smiled back, and then began class.

Jackie leaned forward and whispered, “I seriously can’t wait for school to be over.”

“Me too. Me too.”

Thankfully, Maddison didn’t try to start anything again and my mind focused back on James. He wasn’t in any of my classes all morning, and it wasn’t until lunch time when I overheard a couple of senior girls talking in the tuck-shop line, did I find out that James wasn’t at school, and nobody knew where he was.

I tried to control my brain from the ridiculous scenarios that I kept conjuring up.
Was it my fault? Was it that mysterious man?
All the while, I couldn’t help but feel worried about him.

The anxiety that I felt didn’t disperse that night or the next day, for that matter.

He didn’t come to school on Tuesday, and as far as I knew, nobody had spoken to him. I couldn’t tell you what I’d learned in any of my classes for those two days. It was like I’d become a zombie; my only thoughts consumed by one thing, James.

By Wednesday morning, I was convinced I wouldn’t see James at school. His goodbye had been final, I concluded. When I walked into English class to find him sitting at the table beside Dale, my body stiffened. His laughter stopped when he turned and looked straight at me. The room fell quiet. I could feel everyone’s eyes on us. I looked straight at him, wondering if his return meant something, and also feeling some sense of relief that he was okay, but he looked at me like I was nothing… like I was no-one. He turned away from my gaze and continued talking to Dale. The class snickered at James’s coldness towards me. My shoulders dropped and I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach. As quickly as I entered the room, I wanted nothing more than to leave it, but just as I turned to walk away, Miss Stone walked into the room and ushered the class to all take their seats and be quiet.

I held my textbooks tightly into my chest and bowed my head as I sat down at my table feeling sick and dizzy.

I kept my eyes down, not bringing myself to look at anyone, including Miss Stone. I’d felt like maybe, just maybe, I could have survived the lesson, but when I heard the murmur or Maddison’s voice followed with laughter, I felt my eyes burn with tears. I placed my hand on the side of my head, massaging my temple, and breathed deeply.

I watched the clock above the whiteboard tick slowly and with every second that went by, I felt myself losing control. I couldn’t be there anymore. I needed to get out. I needed to escape.

I pushed my chair back, the sound of the chair scraping the floor and drawing everyone’s attention, but I didn’t care. I grabbed my books and ran out of the classroom, letting the door slam behind me. I moved as quickly as I could towards the school oval. I’d never moved so fast in my life. Tears burned my eyes as a cruel reminder to the hurt I felt, but I wouldn’t cry. I refused to.

I’d finally made it to the bench seat in the forest, a place that was meant to be my place of solace. A place to unwind and forget about everything, but as I looked at the bench seat, I recalled the first time James and I met and it made me angry. I couldn’t escape him, no matter where I went.

The fact that James changed the way I looked at the world, made me question the reality of everything, wasn’t why I was upset, or the fact he’d just humiliated me in front of the whole class. It was the way he’d just looked right through me… as if I was worthless.

I could sense him behind me before he even said anything.

“Lila,” he said softly.

I turned to face him. “Don’t,” I said putting my hand up to stop him talking “just don’t.”

“I am truly sorry.”

“Sorry?” I winced. “You’re sorry?” I shook my head, and my chin trembled.

“It was never my intention…” he replied composed.

“What was your intention then? I’ve got enough drama going on in my life at school, and you’ve gone and just made it worse.”

“I-”

I cut him off, “Was it your intention to come into my life and destroy everything I’d ever come to know as real? I’m meant just to accept that those dreams I had,” I shook my head, “or whatever they were that they didn’t happen?”  My voice drew quiet. “Be honest with me, James. Please. What is going on? Who are you really?”

I took long deep breaths as I waited for his reply. I desperately wanted answers. I needed to make meaning of everything that had happened, and James was the only one that could do it. 

He stepped forward slowly, placing his hand on my cheek. I didn’t flinch at his touch. Instead, I closed my eyes and embraced it.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Lila, but there are reasons why I can’t be near you. If they saw…” He cut himself off. “I wish I could tell you all I know, but I can’t. Trust me when I say, it’s better that you don’t know,” he said delicately.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. I wanted to walk away and go back to my normal life and never think of him again, but I couldn’t. When he looked at me… when he touched me… it did something to me that I couldn’t explain. I felt so exposed, so vulnerable to him and instead of frightening me, it calmed me.

He stroked my cheek with his thumb and took a deep breath, he leaned in towards me and spoke softly, “You are beautiful, Lila.” His lips touched mine and my whole body radiated, but it wasn’t to last, as he drew his lips from mine. “In another life, maybe.” Then he was gone.