Angel's Redemption (9 page)

Elijah knew better than to be truthful. Who in their right mind would want someone with such a shady, promiscuous past, anyway? He should have kept his big mouth shut and never gotten involved with Jack in the first place.

Elijah had to get away before he made a complete fool of himself and begged Jack to overlook his past and still be his friend. Although Elijah wanted Jack's acceptance, he wasn't going to demean himself even further by keeping the man in his company. To Elijah, it was obvious that being around him was the last thing Jack wanted to do.

He had to get away. Now.

He pulled away from Jack and stood up. "I can see that you're upset and disgusted with me. I'll show myself out." He was proud that his voice didn't crack from the shooting pain in his heart and soul.

"What? Why? Where are you going?" He jumped up and took a step toward him.

"I don't know… home. I'll see you around."

Jack's flushed face lost all of its color, and he shook his head. "Look, Eli, you've got it wrong—"

"No. I think for once I've got it right."

Jack cupped his cheeks, lifting Elijah's head so he would have to look into his face. Elijah closed his eyes, not wanting to see the revulsion he would clearly see written all over Jack's handsome features.

"Open your eyes and look at me," Jack coaxed in a gentle voice.

Jack's soothing tone surprised him and caused him to reluctantly open his eyes. Elijah was stunned when he read the determination and acceptance blazing in those bright green eyes.

"Look at me, Elijah… what are my eyes telling you? What do you see when you look at me? Do I look disappointed or disgusted by you in any way?" Jack's words were softly spoken.

Elijah's gaze travelled over Jack's face, and his heart leaped at the raw emotion he saw written on Jack's features. There wasn't any pity in those eyes nor was there disappointment or disgust. All he could see was a blaze of love and acquiescence flashing in those beautiful eyes.

Could it be that Jack really felt that way? The devastation Elijah knew moments before gave away to intense hope, making him almost feel weak with relief. Elijah placed his hands on Jack's hips to keep himself steady as he stood on shaking legs.

"Please believe me when I say I do not care about your past. Yes, I'm furious at what happened to you, and I readily admit I want to find that lowlife bastard Ken and kick his ass into next year, but hear me out when I say, I do not judge you." Jack's voice sounded guttural from raw emotion. "I told you earlier that I care about you, and I meant it. Nothing you did in the past is going to change that. Ever."

Tears slid from Elijah's eyes, and he threw himself into Jack's arms. He found himself telling this amazing man the rest of his story through broken sobs and half-sentences. He was quietly held until he talked about his suicide attempt and how he fought so hard to finally escape Ken's evil influence so he could change and survive.

Hearing this, Jack just pulled him closer into the security and love of his embrace. His friend cried with him, telling Elijah he was so proud that he had the strength to pull himself up and escape the life he once lived.

At some point, they ended up lying within each other's arms on the couch. Jack held onto him as if he was the most precious thing in the world, and after Elijah had told him everything, his soul felt cleansed. For the first time in his life, Elijah actually knew that he was accepted and cherished for the person he was.

It was then Elijah realized his dark, bleak life had color in it once again.

Chapter Eight

The smell of bacon frying woke Jackson from his deep slumber. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and glanced around him. He briefly wondered why he was still lying on the couch, until memories of talking and holding Eli throughout most of the night filled his sleep-deprived mind.

It was hard to believe all of the terrible things Eli had to overcome in his past. Jackson still wanted to hunt down that child molesting asshole, Ken, and beat the ever-loving shit out of him.

Jackson couldn't imagine the hell that Eli went through. Between his sorry excuse for a mother and being used and abused by Ken, it was a wonder Eli turned out to be the sweet and caring man he was today. Eli was afraid that his past would somehow make him push him away, but instead it did the opposite. Jackson found himself admiring the strength and perseverance it took for his friend to walk away with hope of having a better life.

Eli's suicide attempt still scared him. Although he knew that Eli was still in a better place, Jackson prayed that he would never do something like that again. The world was a much better place with Eli in it. Just envisioning his beautiful friend, so desolate and alone without any hope for a better life, brought tears to his eyes. Jackson hastily wiped at them. He and Eli had cried enough the previous night to last a lifetime. He was determined to make today a better day… one that was filled with good memories instead of saddened ones. Both of them deserved it.

Jackson stood up and stretched his arms over his head, hearing joints creaking from being cooped up on the couch for most of the night. He yawned and walked toward the kitchen and the heavenly smell that came from it. Jackson stopped in his tracks when he saw Eli standing in front of the stove, and Shep sitting quietly at his feet. Eli hummed to himself while he flipped the bacon with a fork.

He watched from the doorway and enjoyed the serene moment. Jackson couldn't remember the last time he had woken up to the smell of bacon on a relaxing Saturday morning. The sudden memory of Ben pouring them both some cereal while they discussed their plans for the day gave him a slight pang in his stomach. Jackson tried pushed the guilty feelings of enjoying another man's company out of his mind. Ben wouldn't want him to wallow in the past. His generous nature and zest for life was one of the reasons why Jackson had fallen in love with him. Ben would want Jackson to get on with his life, not be the unsociable, lonely man he had become.

As Jackson stood the in the doorway and watched him bustle around fixing breakfast, he silently wondered if Ben would like Eli. If Ben were alive and had gotten to know Eli, he would have liked the younger man and taken him under his wing. Ben would have shrugged off his past and welcomed Eli into their circle of friends. Yes, Ben would have been very fond of Eli, and the knowledge that his lover was probably looking down from Heaven with a smile of approval on his face made the sharp pang of guilt in his stomach go away.

Jackson must have made a small noise because Shep turned around and barked a happy greeting, causing both he and Eli to jump. Shep pounced over to him as Eli gave Jackson a shy smile.

"Good morning, Jack."

"Morning," he said, returning Eli's smile. He bent down and gave Shep a good scratch behind his ears.

Eli's face flushed slightly, and he gave a shrug. "You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to disturb you. But I wanted to cook you some breakfast as a thank you for listening to me last night."

Jackson shook his head and walked over to the nervous man. He stopped a few feet from him and opened his arms, hoping to reassure Eli that everything was okay.

Eli stood there for a few moments before stepping closer. A relieved look passed over his face as he walked into Jackson's accepting embrace. The shorter man's head tucked perfectly between Jackson's neck and shoulder. He could feel the slight trembling of Eli's body, and he pulled him even tighter to him, wanting to comfort and ease the nervousness Eli was feeling.

Neither man said anything while they stood in the kitchen holding one another. Finally, after some time, Eli took a deep breath as his body began to relax. Jackson slowly rubbed his back with a soft, soothing caress.

Jackson felt the stirrings of desire in his groin, and he tried to push away the attraction he had for his sweet friend. He could feel Eli's hardness pressed firmly against him, making his own prick harden even more. The last thing Eli needed right now was to be pressured by the sexual pull between them. He deliberately pushed the yearning he had for Eli out of his mind, deciding that they needed to act on these feelings for each other at a much slower pace. They had time to examine this strong connection between them. There was no need to rush things. They would just take things one slow step at a time.

"Thank you." Eli whispered, his breath warm and welcoming against his neck.

Goosebumps ran down his body from the sensual feel of Eli's breath against his skin.

If Jackson didn't pull away, he might not be able to control the passion he had for him. He gave Eli a slight kiss on the forehead before he gently disengaged himself.

"There's no need to thank me.
I
should be thanking you…"

Eli shook his head slightly, and a lost look formed over his handsome face. "I don't understand."

"Thank you for trusting me… for being a friend," Jackson said. He placed his hand on Eli's shoulder and gave an easy squeeze. "Since Ben died four years ago, I've pushed people away. Because of you and your friendship, I'm starting to live life again. Thank you for that."

Eli stared intently at him for a few moments. A relived smile formed on his face. "It seems we both have our reasons to be thankful. I'm glad we've become good friends, Jack."

"Me too."

The smell of burning bacon broke Jackson out of the easy, friendly feeling he had. He gave the air a sniff about the time that Eli must have realized the problem too. Eli turned to the stove and groaned as he pulled the blackened bacon off of the burner. "Shit! Well, that's not salvageable, damn it! So much for me cooking us some breakfast."

Jackson took the pan from him and placed it in the sink. "It's the thought that counts." He gave Eli a wink. "IHOP makes a damn fine breakfast," he teased.

Elijah laughed and nodded. "So I've heard."

Jackson chuckled with his friend and with the knowledge that everything between them would be okay.

****

Elijah leaned against the headrest of Jack's car seat and glanced at the traffic. Both last night and today had gone better than he imagined. He was lucky to have Jack in his life. In his wildest dreams, Elijah never expected the unconditional acceptance and friendship he had with Jack. He had been afraid that once Jack knew of his past, Jack would promptly throw him out of his life. Instead, for once Elijah actually knew what it was like to be loved and appreciated for who he was, and he happily basked in the warmth of Jack's friendship.

Elijah was both embarrassed and pissed when he burned their breakfast this morning. He intended to do something nice for his friend, so he had been more than a little upset when his plans had gone up in smoke. But as usual, Jackson made him feel better with his easy-going personality and quick wit.

They spent the morning eating at a restaurant and then they went to see an early afternoon matinee. For several precious hours, Elijah was able to forget his troubles and the past and enjoy Bruce Willis blowing up the bad guys and saving the girl. When Jack told him he had all of the
Die Hard
movies on DVD, they decided to spend the rest of the day watching more of Bruce's bad-assed movie goodness.

Damn, Bruce looks even hotter with age
.

Elijah glanced at his companion and gave him a discreet once-over. Yep, Jackson was aging the same way. The older man looked damn fine in his faded jeans and light grey Houndstooth brand t-shirt with his dark, mussed hair shining in the afternoon sun. Jackson Edwards was a man who would continue to age beautifully and still have tons of sex appeal.

He grinned as Jack changed the radio station for what had to be the tenth time since they'd gotten into the car. Apparently, he was one of those people who couldn't leave the radio on one station for any length of time.

"I don't know why I bother listening to the radio," Jackson complained with a huff. "All they play is commercials and crappy music."

Elijah bit his lip to keep from chuckling. From where he sat, Jack changed the station whether there was a commercial or not. When Jack glanced at him, Elijah just shrugged and nodded in agreement.

Finally, Jack stopped his search when the song "My Prerogative" by Bobby Brown started playing.

"God, I used to love this song," Jack said, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat.

"Me too. Britney's version sucked."

Jack looked at him in horror. "Britney remixed it? That's just wrong."

Elijah laughed and nodded. "Tell me about it."

Jack shook his head and started to sing along. The easiness between them continued as Elijah sang with him. His whole body felt lighter than it had in a long time. When Jack grabbed his hand, Elijah's heart fluttered with happiness. Elijah was always surprised by Jack's affectionate nature, but he liked it. It was something he could easily get used to.

Soon one song led to another and they continued to hold hands as they sang. Just as the lead singer from REM started singing about losing his religion, Jack's cell phone rang. Elijah reluctantly felt the loss of Jack's warm hand when Jack answered it.

"Hello."

Elijah reached over and turned down the radio and looked out the window.

"Hi, Josh, how's it going?"

Elijah wondered if it was the Josh that lived in the house on the other side of Jack's. He hadn't met his other neighbors, but he figured they must be nice because Jack spoke fondly of them.

"I don't know if I can. I already have plans."

Elijah immediately felt guilty for keeping Jack away from his friends. He put on a smile and shrugged. "That's okay, Jack. We can have our
Die Hard
marathon tomorrow."

Jack gave a quick shake of his head. "I'll ask him and call you when we get home, okay? Thanks, Josh. Talk to you soon."

Jack set his phone in the console between them, never taking his gaze off of the road. "That was our neighbor, Josh. He and Nick are having a cookout tonight and invited us."