Anna's Heart (Wilderness Brides Book 2) (10 page)

“I’m afraid I’m not very good at this.” She glanced up at him, smiling uneasily as heat crept up into her cheeks. As quick as she could, she wrapped a clean piece of cloth around his hand.

Her heart must have skipped a beat as her eyes met his. He was looking at her, his gaze more intense than anything she’d seen before. It was almost a predatory stare, but nothing that would cause her to be afraid, at least not in a way that would make her fear he might harm her. Quite the opposite. There was no anger in his eyes, no contempt, yet something just as strong drawing her in.

“Seems to me you’re doing just fine,” Ethan said, his voice low and almost sensual.

Anna fought to move a breath of air past the constriction in her throat. She blinked and pulled her eyes away from his, then scooted back and away from Ethan. Their faces had been so close, much too close.

She fumbled to return all the items she’d taken out back into her satchel. She had to direct her focus elsewhere. Ethan’s stare was simply too unsettling. At this moment, it would be better if he yelled at her and called her witless. Too many tumultuous feelings and sensations coursed through her, and none of them made any sense.

“Looks like the rain has stopped,” she said, looking out beyond their natural shelter. “We can be on our way back to the cabins. No doubt everyone is worried about where we are.”

She scrambled to her feet, brushing twigs and leaves from her skirt. Ethan struggled to stand, leaning heavily on his rifle for support. He still favored his right leg.

“Are you well enough to walk?” Anna asked tentatively. She should have offered to look at his ankle, but a sudden need to get back to the cabins rushed through her. This entire encounter with Ethan Wilder was too unsettling and confusing.

“I’ll be fine.” He kicked dirt onto the fire to put it out, then stepped up to her. “Once my hand is healed, I’ll take you as far as Fort Hall, Miss Porter,” he said, then limped off into the forest.

“
Y
ou’re absolutely
sure this is what you want to do? You can still change your mind.”

“Yes. I have to do this.” Anna glanced up from folding the last of her dresses and packing it in the traveling trunk. Looking into Cora’s hopeful eyes, she offered a weak smile to her friend, who stood a few paces away, holding several folded blankets. Anna stood and held out her hands to take the items. “We’ve been over this so many times.”

“I know, but it doesn’t hurt to ask again.”

The loud banging of a fist on the cabin door saved Anna from offering a response. It was bad enough that she’d had second thoughts about leaving everyone she considered family behind and heading off into the unknown. Something inside her told her it was the right thing to do, that she would find out who she truly was if she made this journey. Here in this wilderness valley she would never fill the emptiness and loneliness in her heart.

“Come in,” Cora called. The door swung open as if a strong blast of wind had pushed it, sending in a cloud of dust. Travis and Trevor stood under the frame. Travis moved first to step into the room.

“Ethan’s acting like the entire day’s wasted already, and the sun hasn’t even been up more than an hour. He’s asking if everything’s ready to go.” He grinned at Anna. “You sure you want him to take you to Fort Hall? Trevor and I can be ready to leave in five minutes.”

“This is the last of my things.” Anna placed the blankets in the trunk and closed it. She smiled at Travis. “Thank you for your offer, but I think I’ll be all right.” She pointed at the trunk. “You can take this to the wagon. Please let Ethan know I’ll be ready to leave in a moment.”

The twins each lifted an end of the trunk and disappeared out the door, Travis mumbling something under his breath. Anna smiled and shook her head. While the two brothers might be more entertaining company on her way to Fort Hall, Ethan was, no doubt, more trustworthy. Not that Travis and Trevor weren’t experienced men in their environment, but their youth made them impulsive, especially Travis.

Everyone had been surprised three weeks ago when she and Ethan had returned from the woods and he’d announced that he would take her to Fort Hall. He’d used the excuse that someone needed to go for supplies, so he might as well take Anna along. Harley had simply chuckled and smiled gleefully, while Travis had complained that it was his turn to go to the supply depot this summer.

Ethan had been silent for most of the walk out of the forest that day, and Anna hadn’t pressed him to speak. He’d clearly been in pain the way he’d favored his right leg, which probably hadn’t done much to improve his mood. She’d had her own thoughts to contend with at the time. Her nearly intimate encounter with Ethan Wilder under the rocky overhang had been much too unsettling.

Everyone had seen her return from the forest with him. Back in Ohio, gossip would have brought her morals into question for being alone with a man in the woods. Here, no one cared, although Josie had looked at her with a worried expression on her face. Anna had smiled at the girl to ensure her that everything was all right. Harley had looked rather pleased about something.

“Are you absolutely sure that you want to be the one to take me to Fort Hall?” Anna had asked Ethan before they’d parted ways that day.

“I said I would take you, or would you rather Travis and Trevor escort you?” Ethan had looked at her with raised brows, a challenge in his eyes. To her great surprise, there had even been a faint hint of a smile on his face.

Anna had stared back at him, still unable to fathom the change in his appearance. Without his constant scowl, he was a surprisingly handsome man.

“I just don’t want you to regret your decision, Mr. Wilder.” She’d raised her chin. She’d seen a different side of Ethan Wilder that day than the man he liked to portray to everyone else, and it gave her courage to challenge him. “Like you said, I might be detrimental to your health. You may not live to tell about your adventure.”

He’d stared back for several silent seconds, his eyes sharp and focused on her face, as if he couldn’t comprehend her light-hearted remark. Those eyes had darkened the longer he looked at her, not in anger, but in the same way he’d looked at her when she’d administered the salve on his hand. An inexplicable shiver of pleasure had run down Anna’s spine, leaving her even more unsettled and her mind reeling with thoughts she didn’t understand. Nathaniel and Harley had reached them at that moment, breaking their eye contact.

“You might be right, Miss Porter,” Ethan had said in a low tone. “Guess I’ll just have to keep my wits about me.”

“Wits?” Travis had sauntered their way, glancing suspiciously from his oldest brother to Anna. “Didn’t know you had any.”

Ethan’s scowl had returned as he’d glared at his brother.

“You’d best see to his hand, Trevor,” Anna had quickly interjected, before the brothers’ exchange erupted into a full verbal spat. “It may need a better bandage.” She wouldn’t mention the wounds he’d sustained because of his mishap in the creek in front of everyone. It would have simply raised questions Ethan surely didn’t want to answer, especially with his brothers in attendance.

“You gave us a scare, Anna,” Cora had said. “Caroline came to find me after Ethan set out to look for you. When it started to rain, I almost sent Nathaniel out to look for both of you. Why didn’t you tell us where you were going?”

Anna had shrugged. “I needed some time to myself. I suppose I got lost. I have Ethan to thank for finding me.” She’d smiled at Cora. Her gaze had darted to Ethan for a second and her heart sped up when he’d looked at her. Had that penetrating stare always been there and it was something she’d simply become aware of after what had happened earlier, or was it new? Anna had forced her eyes to Cora again.

“I’d best change out of these clothes. They’re still damp after the rain.” She hadn’t looked back as she’d excused herself and scurried to her cabin.

Cora’s assessment that Ethan was not the kind of man he tried to portray to everyone had become more evident that day. A man who didn’t feel anything or care about anyone wouldn’t have come looking for her when he’d thought she’d been lost, especially when he was still recuperating from his near-poisoning. Clearly, something about his past haunted him enough that he preferred to keep a cold demeanor, even with his family.

He’d returned to his sullen quietness as soon as they’d returned to the cabins. For the next three weeks, he’d been polite whenever they’d crossed paths when everyone took their meals together, or during the few occasions when they’d happened to be in the main cabin at the same time.

She’d caught him looking at her from across the yard a few times, but he’d rarely sought her out to talk to her except to discuss details about the upcoming journey. The day after they’d returned from the woods he’d let her know again that he wasn’t going back on his word and would take her to Fort Hall. He’d anticipated his hand would take a couple weeks to heal, and if they planned to leave in three weeks, there would be wagon trains arriving at Fort Hall by then, so the timing would be in her favor. Cora had offered her the wagon and her team of mules.

“I can’t accept the wagon,” Anna had quickly declined.

Cora had taken her hand and stared at her in a way that left no room for argument. “You will take the wagon. I have no use for it anymore. And we don’t need the mules, either. Besides, how else are you going to get to Oregon? Your chances of being accepted by one of the wagon outfits will be much greater if they see you have a good rig and team to pull it. At the very least, you might be able to sell them in exchange for passage.”

Anna’s attempt to decline again had been met with a firm finger raised to silence her.

“All right. Perhaps Ethan can bring it back,” she’d mumbled. Arguing with Cora was pointless when she was that set about something. Having a wagon for the journey to Fort Hall had eased her worries of how she would manage to ride a horse the entire time. She’d driven the wagon much of the time last year, and she’d drive it all the way to Oregon if she had to.

After Cora’s announcement that Anna would be taking the rig, Ethan, along with Nathaniel and the twins, had made any necessary repairs to the wagon and gotten it ready for travel.

“Well, I suppose it’s time to go.” Cora sighed next to her in the cabin while Anna still gazed around the small room she’d shared with Caroline and Josie for the last six months. Her pulse increased and she wrung her sweaty palms in front of her. She blinked and mentally shook her head. She had to do this, but would she be as nervous about leaving if Nathaniel escorted her rather than Ethan?

She glanced at her bed in the cabin one last time. It was time to go. She drew in a deep breath and blinked away the sting in her eyes. Her decision not to stay in this wilderness had been made ever since she’d first arrived here last year, and she wasn’t going to back out now.

Ever since her encounter with Ethan in the woods, her need to leave had grown even stronger. She’d spent too much time over the course of the last three weeks thinking about him and her confusing reaction to him. She’d felt the stirrings of attraction, no matter how many times she’d tried to deny it.

They shared nothing in common. The thought of Ethan courting anyone, let alone her was almost laughable. He may have a soft heart buried somewhere inside, but he seemed too set in his ways to let go of his unapproachable demeanor. Besides, how could she have eyes for a man who was so unlike the only man she’d ever loved? No doubt Ethan hadn’t even given their encounter a second thought.

Reaching for her shawl on the bed, Anna followed Trevor and Travis out the door. They stowed her trunk in the back of the wagon, which had already been packed with the rest of her meager belongings. There would be a lot of room in the wagon this time as compared to when she had traveled with Cora and her sisters and Patrick. Even though Cora had packed a few provisions to get her to Fort Hall, she’d have to buy more for the journey to Oregon, but she’d still be traveling light.

Caroline and Josie stood by the wagon, somber looks on their faces. Patrick ran to her and nearly threw his arms around her. He stopped at the last second and glanced over his shoulder to the twins. Apparently, he’d been listening to their nonsense about how men couldn’t display emotion. Perhaps they’d all allowed Ethan to fill their heads with the idea that a man had to remain distant and unfeeling.

“Come here, Patrick.” Anna grabbed the boy and wrapped her arms around him, leaning over slightly. She no longer had to kneel to be at eye level with him. He’d grown so much in just one year, and a rush of sadness swept through her that she wouldn’t see him grow into a man. He stood stiffly for a second, then threw his own arms around her neck. The strong odor of fish and dirt came from his shirt.

“Don’t leave, Anna,” he whispered against her shoulder, sniffling.

“I have to, Patrick. Someday, maybe you can come and visit me when you’re a little older.” She broke away from him, smiling at the boy she’d known since his birth. She held back the tears that stung her eyes.

Patrick nodded. He hung his head and stepped away from her. Anna reached her hand out to Harley, who cleared his throat and pulled her into an embrace of his own.

“Gonna miss havin’ ya here, Anna. Shore aint’ gonna be ta same without ya an’ yore biscuits.” He leaned back and smiled, then winked at her. “Ya keep that Ethan in line, will ya? He may be ornery like a bear with a burr in his pelt, but he don’t mean it. An’ don’t let ‘im tell ya otherwise.”

“I’m sure Ethan and I will get along fine.” Anna smiled at the old man. He pulled a handkerchief out the top of his shirt and made a big show of blowing his nose.

“Darn’d spring flowers. They make my eyes ‘n nose itch,” he grumbled.

Anna looked to the twins. She shook each of their hands, meeting their gazes. For once, Travis didn’t have any teasing words to offer.

“Keep learning about healing people, Trevor. You’re good at it. And, you, Travis, take more responsibility around here. You’re a good man, and I know everyone can trust you with their lives. Prove it to them.”

He stared at her, then nodded wordlessly.

Caroline stood off to the side with Josie, dabbing at her eyes with a piece of cloth.

“I know you’ll be a wonderful doctor someday,” Anna whispered, embracing the younger girl who had been like a sister to her all her life. “Follow Aimee Osborne’s advice and go to medical college, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s impossible.”

Caroline nodded against her shoulder, her body shaking with sobs. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“I’ll miss you, too.” Anna peeled away from her, swiping at her eyes. Forcing a smile, she faced Josie.

“Look at all you’ve accomplished since we left Ohio,” Anna said to the youngest Hudson sister. Quiet and meek Josie, who now wore britches and could shoot a rifle as well as the men, looked at her with a somber expression. She didn’t cry. She’d done enough of that in her young life. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I’ll come visit you in Oregon someday,” Josie said when they embraced. “I’m heartbroken that you’re leaving, but I understand it’s something you have to do.”

“Thank you,” Anna whispered. She smiled and gave Josie a final squeeze.

Nathaniel pulled her into a brotherly embrace when she reached the front of the wagon.

“Wish you’d stay. I have you to thank for bringing Cora and me together. You were the only one she’d listen to when we first met.”

Anna smiled at him. “I think your charm’s what finally won her over. I had nothing to do with that.”

Anna glanced at her best friend. Cora flung her arms around her after Nathaniel let her go. Her body as well as Cora’s shook as they clung to each other, sobbing.

“Take good care of yourself, and it won’t be too long before your baby arrives. You’ll be too busy to even think about me.”

“It won’t be the same without you,” Cora rasped. For once, she seemed at a loss for more words.

“You found your destiny here.” Anna glanced from her to Nathaniel. “I can’t even imagine you anywhere else.”