Annie's Song (31 page)

filled up his world. To hold her in his arms. To know that she trusted him as she had never trusted anyone else . ..

The gift of Annie . . . Holding her as he was now, Alex could scarcely believe that there had been a time when he had railed against fate, when he had viewed his marriage to her as an obligatory sacrifice to set a wrong right. He had wrongs to rectify, certainly, but they had nothing to do with duty and nothing to do with sacrifice. Loving this girl, being a part of her world, was a blessing.

Bending low, Alex swept her into his arms and carried her to the rocker in one corner of the room.

Sinking down on it, he cradled her across his lap, letting her head rest against his arm, not so much so that he could see her face, but so that she might see his. Her eyes, dark with panic, clung almost desperately to his. Until that moment, Alex had intended to talk to her, to explain away what she’d seen in the stables. But that look in her eyes silenced him. Now was not the time for talking. At least not in the conventional way.

Instead, he gathered her close, much as he might have a child, and began to rock her. As he rocked, he whispered words he knew she couldn’t hear. But it wasn’t what he said that mattered. What Annie needed right now were messages that couldn’t be expressed with words, anyway. With a shaking hand, he stroked her hair. Then he pressed his cheek atop her head and closed his eyes, not at all surprised when he felt more tears running down his cheeks. Each one of her sobs cut through him like a knife.

He had felt guilty a few times in his life, but never more so than now. Because he knew she needed to, he allowed her to cry. God knew she deserved that much. When she finally began to quiet, he resettled her in his arms so their faces were only inches apart. “Annie,” he said, and hauled in a deep breath, “I think we need to have a talk. About the baby, and what it will be like when—”

Her eyes going wide with unmistakable dread, she gave her head a violent shake. “Naa-ooh!”

Alex caught her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. When she finally grew still and he felt he had her full attention, he said, “Have I ever told you a lie? Ever?”

Almost imperceptibly, she shook her head.

“Then trust me not to lie to you now. Having a baby is not”—he stressed the word not, saying it slowly and with exaggerated clarity—”like what you saw happening in the stable.”

Her gaze clung to his, filled with questions and disbelief.

Alex swallowed, not looking forward to this conversation, but knowing he had to get through it.

Uncertain where to start, he simply began talking. Word for word, he wasn’t certain exactly what he said, only that he told her about the foal’s breech birth, following up with a description of normal childbirth. He held nothing back and was completely honest, even about the pain of labor. As he explained how the child would exit her body, her eyes grew dark with fear, which caught at his heart but also made him smile.

“Annie love, your mama gave birth to you. Mine gave birth to me. All the living things we see around us were born, and in much the same way that your baby will be born. It may not be pleasant, but you’re going to survive it, and I’ll be there to help you, I promise.” He traced a fingertip along the hollow of her cheek. “It’s going to be beautiful, sweetheart, not awful. Trust me on that. And when it’s all over, you’re going to have a baby all your very own to love.”

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

At that bit of news, she looked dubious. Alex couldn’t help but grin. “Do you think I’d fib to you?”

When she continued to look doubtful, he said, “Well, it looks to me as if a walk to the stable is in order.

Breech birth and all, the mare is fine. And she’s the proud mama of the cutest little colt you ever saw.”

Determined, Alex set her off his lap and pushed to his feet. “I’ll prove to you I’m not lying.”

She gave her head a vehement shake, clearly frightened at the thought of returning to the stable.

Alex took her hand. “Trust me, Annie. You saw the worst thing an expectant mother can possibly see.

Now I want you to see the sweetest.”

The last place Annie wanted to go was back to that stable. But Alex insisted, and since he was a good deal larger than she, she had no choice but to comply. To her surprise, darkness had fallen during the time she was indoors. Moonlight and shadows fell across them as they stepped out into the dooryard. As if he sensed her jumpiness, Alex curled an arm around her shoulders and drew her against him as they walked.

His unaccustomed closeness served to distract her from her worries more than anything else he could have done. Where her shoulder pressed against his side, he felt like lightly padded silk over steel. His arm around her felt wonderfully strong and warm. As they moved in unison through the dark garden, it occurred to her that he must be matching his stride to hers, for his legs were longer, by far, than her own.

The rotation of his hip bumped against her side at a point well above her waist.

She sneaked a glance at his dark profile, unnerved by him in a way that she’d never felt before, sort of fluttery in the stomach, yet oddly excited. As if he sensed her regard, he looked down, caught her gaze, and smiled one of those slow, slightly crooked grins. “We’ve never walked together in the moonlight, have we?”

Annie shook her head.

His long fingers shifted where they were curled over her shoulder, and the friction of his touch through the sleeve of her dress made her skin tingle. “We’ll have to do it more often. You’re beautiful in the moonlight. Absolutely beautiful.”

Somehow, Annie doubted that. Though she had not indulged in bouts of weeping very often, the few times that she had, she’d looked awful afterward, all puffy-eyed and red in the face.

As though he guessed her thoughts, he chuckled, the low laugh vibrating into her shoulder and radiating down the length of her arm. “You are beautiful, Annie love. Trust me on that. Without question, one of the loveliest young women I’ve ever had the pleasure of clapping eyes on.”

A hot feeling crept slowly up Annie’s neck and pooled like fire in her cheeks. She glanced quickly away.

She immediately felt his body shift, and the next thing she knew, he’d stooped down and forward to put his face in front of hers. She reared back in startlement, which made him laugh again.

“I’m talking to you, goose. How can you know what I’m saying if you don’t look at me?”

As he straightened, Annie followed him with her gaze, about to smile in spite of herself. Since the last thing she’d felt like doing a few minutes ago was smile, that gave her pause.

“That’s better,” he said. “I feel like a damned fool, walking along in the dark, talking to myself.”

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Her mouth quivered at one corner. He touched a fingertip to the dimple in her cheek. “You also have the most glorious smile I’ve ever seen, by the way. The kind of smile that drives grown men to make utter fools of themselves.”

Annie shook her head. He nodded just as emphatically. Gulping back a giggle, she shook her head harder.

He arched an eyebrow and assumed a disgruntled expression. “My God, our first argument.”

At that, Annie lost control. The giggle she’d been swallowing back erupted from her throat. At the sound, Alex spun to a stop. Annie’s first thought was instinctive, that he was going to reprimand her. But even in the moonlight, she could see the mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Was that a laugh I just heard?” Tightening his arm around her shoulders, he drew her gently against him.

“Nah! Not my Annie.” He studied her for a moment. “You poor girl, you’ve got the hiccups, don’t you?

The bane of every expectant mother’s existence, chronic indigestion.”

Annie giggled again. She couldn’t seem to stop herself. And when she did, the most incredible thing happened. Alex’s grin vanished, and after gazing down at her for what seemed to her several endless seconds, he got tears in his eyes.

“Thank you,” he said. Only that, just a simple “thank you.” But to Annie, those were the two most wonderful words she’d ever seen spoken, and they meant more to her than a thousand others might have. With them, he told her a wealth of things, namely that he had meant everything he’d said to her in the attic, that he not only wouldn’t punish her for making noise, but that he wanted her to.

A wondrously free feeling filled her, a light sensation, almost as if she’d become buoyant. She could trust this man, she realized. With everything. And with his gaze to embolden her, she dared to mouth the words, “You’re welcome.”

Incredibly, he seemed to read her lips, for his smile deepened. Catching her chin on the edge of his hand, he tipped her face so the moonlight fell across it. “Say it again.”

Annie obliged him. As she finished, he slanted his thumb across her lips, his eyes warm with laughter as they delved into hers. “Isn’t that just like a woman? Encourage her to talk, and the first thing you know, she’s a chatterbox.”

With that proclamation, he shook his head and drew her back into a walk. Fixing her gaze on the stables, Annie realized that she no longer felt afraid to go there and see the mare. Even if Alex was wrong, and the horse was in pitiful condition, she could face it.

As long as Alex went with her, she thought she could face almost anything.

When they entered the stable, Annie’s courage dwindled. It was so dark inside the building. And utterly silent. It was how she imagined death would be, black nothingness. For a few moments, Alex left her standing there in the void alone. She had no idea why, only that he’d left her and she felt as though her skin was going to turn inside out.

Then he was beside her again. Big and muscular and warm. He took her hands and placed them on something made of metal and glass. Annie searched out its contours with her fingers and identified it as a
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

lantern. She smiled slightly at his thoughtfulness. By letting her touch the lamp, he was explaining why he’d left her for a minute.

Clutching his arm, she leaned against him as they walked, wishing he would decide they didn’t have to do this, after all. No such luck. He pressed forward, drawing her along beside him in the blackness.

When they turned left, she knew they had entered the intersecting corridor and that the mare’s stall lay just ahead. Peering futilely through the blackness, she tried to see Alex’s face. She wanted, no, needed to see him.

As he drew to a stop, he pulled away from her again. Never in her life had Annie resented her deafness so intensely. It seemed to her that the silence had become a living thing with cold, clawing fingers that were curling around her. Alex? Oh, God, he had left her. All alone. She groped a little wildly. Her palm encountered rough wood.

The next instant, light exploded beside her. Startled, Annie leaped back. Then she saw that Alex had only struck a match. Amber flickered across his dark face, making his eyes glow eerily. Lifting the lantern globe, he touched the flame to the mantle, and a blinding whiteness flared. Waving the match out, he stuck the hot end in his mouth to make sure it was dead out before he tossed it away. After turning the fuel valve to adjust the light, he hung the lamp from a long nail protruding from a wall stud above, him.

He said something to her. Then, when she didn’t react, he placed his hands on his hips, his weight on one booted foot, his other leg slightly bent. Clenching the match between his teeth, he spoke again.

Because he was talking through his teeth, Annie had no idea what he was saying, only that he was getting aggravated because she wasn’t complying. When he started to speak again, she stepped quickly forward and jerked the match from between his teeth.

He looked nonplussed for a second and then slowly grinned. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

She lifted an eyebrow.

“I was telling you to take a look and see for yourself.” He inclined his head at the stall. “Mama and baby, safe and sound.”

As Annie turned to look over the gate, he stepped up behind her and encircled her waist with his strong arms, one large hand splayed over her swollen stomach, his fingertips lightly caressing. For just an instant, she stiffened, unnerved by the familiarity. But then she felt her tension slipping away under the gentle strokes of his hands. Alex. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes, imagining that she felt his strength seeping into her. Against her shoulder, she felt the steady thumping of his heart, a sturdy, soothing rhythm that seemed oddly harmonious with the flutter of her own pulse.

A smile touched her mouth, and, opening her eyes, she looked into the stall. The mare stood in the center of the enclosure, her liquid brown eyes resting curiously on the two humans who had intruded upon her peace. Beside her, his long, gangly legs spread wide for balance, was her colt. Head tucked under his mama’s belly, he was eagerly suckling, his small broom of a tail uplifted and making quick little rotations.

Alex leaned forward so she could see him. “See that tail? It’s his pump handle. Every time he sucks, his tail goes up and down.”

Annie giggled.

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“I’m glad you like him. Before winter’s over, he’ll probably seem like part of the family. He’s out of season. Most foals come in the spring, which gives them plenty of time to mature before harsh weather hits. We’ll have to pamper this little fellow.”

That said, Alex hunched his shoulders to rest his chin beside her ear. Just below her temple, she could feel the slight rasp of whiskers. The scent of bergamot from his shaving cologne filled her senses.

Suddenly, as though disturbed by the unaccustomed weight of his hands, the baby inside her wiggled.

Not a little wiggle as she usually felt, but a big one. She jumped with a start, and she felt Alex’s chest jerk with a laugh, the deep vibrations of it moving through her like sunshine.