Annie's Song (44 page)

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Alex’s heart felt as if it had fallen to the floor. “Two or three years?”

Daniel smiled. “Albany isn’t that far away. You look as though I just suggested we send her to a foreign country.” He, too, sat forward in his chair, his gaze direct and filled with concern. “Alex, please, at least think about it. I think I could convince Irene to make room for Annie. Since Annie will have a child, she could be a nonresident student. Maybe Maddy could move to Albany with her. The two of them could rent a small house near the school. Somewhere close enough that Annie could walk to classes.”

Alex shot up from his chair, spilling brandy in his agitation. “No. It’s out of the question. We’re discussing my wife here. I’m not going to send her away for two to three years.’’ He raked a hand through his hair and started to pace. “Jesus Christ, Daniel, I don’t know how you can even suggest such a thing. If you think Annie needs a special tutor, I’ll hire one. But she’s staying here at Montgomery Hall where she belongs, end of discussion.”

Daniel set his drink aside and pushed to his feet, retrieving his bag as he stood. “Alex, with all your money and good intentions, you can’t buy Annie the things she needs most. Up there in Albany, the students produce their own plays. They have dances and socials and musicals, all geared expressly for the deaf. Annie would be around other people like herself for the first time in her life. There’s no way you can provide all of those experiences for her here.”

Alex turned a fiery gaze on him. “Maybe not. But you’re asking me to send my wife and child away. I can’t do that. I won’t. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Right for who, you or Annie? Think about it, Alex.” Daniel strode slowly to the study door. He paused before opening it to look back at Alex over his shoulder. “If you truly love the girl, and I believe you do, then in the end, you’ll do what’s best for her. I’m convinced of that. As I said, I believe I can convince Irene to take her. If you’d like, I’ll check into it for you. I think Annie could start instruction in March.

She will be sufficiently recovered from childbirth by that time to travel and make the move.”

Struggling to regain his composure, Alex finally replied, “I guess it couldn’t hurt for you to look into it for me. As long as you understand that it’s highly unlikely I’d seriously consider it.”

Daniel smiled slightly. “You’ll do the right thing. You always do.’’

With that, Daniel quit the room.

Over the next few days, Alex considered what Daniel had said. So great was his indecision that he even consulted Edie Trimble, who agreed wholeheartedly with Dr. Muir that sending Annie away to school was a wonderful idea. No matter how he circled it, deep down he knew his mother-in-law and the physician were probably right. At a school for the deaf, a whole new world would be opened up for Annie. She‘d learn not only to speak, but to read and write, things Alex wasn’t absolutely sure he could teach her. And in addition to that, she would have a chance to be around other people like herself. In Albany, she could make friends, something that had always been denied her.

Dances ... parties ... plays ... In short, a social life. That was something Alex could not buy for her. If he kept her here with him at Montgomery Hall, he would be cheating her out of those experiences.

For a short time, Alex considered hiring a competent foreman to oversee Montgomery Hall so he might move to Albany and be with Annie while she attended school. But, after he really thought about it, he knew that would be almost as selfish as keeping her in Hooperville. If he were there in Albany, always
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backstage, always waiting, she wouldn’t feel free to participate in all the social activities she would enjoy otherwise. As much as he wanted to be with her, he didn’t want to be a proverbial chain around her neck, either. Other people were allowed to experience life to its fullest before being tied down in marriage. Annie deserved the same privilege.

Two or three years... As Daniel said, it wasn’t that long a time. If all went well, Annie would only be twenty-three when she completed her schooling and came back to live permanently at Montgomery Hall.

In the meanwhile, Alex could visit her in Albany occasionally, and she could come home during holidays.

He could live with that. He had to.

For Annie’s sake, he had no choice.

Once his decision was made, Alex wasted no time in speaking to Maddy. The housekeeper, though initially against the idea, eventually agreed to accompany Annie to Albany so she could help care for the baby while Annie was attending school. Once that was settled, Alex began corresponding regularly with Irene Small to ensure Annie’s enrollment, to secure off-campus housing for her, and to pay her tuition in advance. After doing all that, only one thing remained to be done, and that was to tell Annie. Alex decided it would be best not to risk upsetting her with the news until after the baby was born.

Over the next few weeks, Alex cherished every moment with her, for he knew their time together was destined to end all too soon. Long walks in the rain. Making love by firelight. Planning for the baby.

Through it all, Alex pretended they had all the time in the world stretching before them. He never let on to Annie that he sometimes looked at her and imagined how empty his life was going to be without her.

Life without her... It was a possibility Alex couldn’t completely discount. Annie had become his wife not by choice, but against her will. Over the months, she had learned to love him; he didn’t doubt the sincerity of her feelings, not for a minute. But the bottom line was, it hadn’t been an instant attraction.

Most young women— and Annie was no different than any other—harbored romantic notions of meeting someone special, of being swept into his arms and carried off to live happily ever after. The fact that the fantasy usually lasted only as long as the honeymoon was beside the point and didn’t stop girls from dreaming their dreams.

What if? Those two words haunted Alex, awake or asleep. “What if, when Annie went away to school, she met a deaf man and fell wildly in love? He imagined her looking across a crowded room, straight into the eyes of Mr. Right. He pictured her waltzing in his arms, attending a play with him, laughing with him.

A faceless man, a nameless man, someone with whom Annie would have things in common, most importantly a shared affliction and an inherent understanding of the difficulties that arose from it. At best, Alex could only guess how frustrated she must feel sometimes, not being able to communicate with other people, not being able to read their lips if they turned away while speaking to her. He tried. He truly did.

But no matter how much he wanted to understand what it was like for her, he knew he never really would, not without experiencing deafness himself.

In dark moments, Alex remembered the sketch Annie had once drawn of herself without ears. In Albany, she would be like everyone else. If she met a man there, if she fell in love, who could blame her for not wanting to return to Hooperville, where she’d suffered so much pain and humiliation at the hands of others? Alex knew he couldn’t. And therein lay the heartbreak. It was damned easy to love a woman enough to spend a lifetime with her. Loving her enough to set her free was another matter entirely.

It seemed to Alex that time flew by, carrying them relentlessly toward the day when Annie would leave him. Christmas came and went. December gave way to January, and they began to mark off the days until Annie’s due date. On the evening of the eighth, which was several days early, according to Daniel’s
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calculations, Alex was in the water closet, washing up before going to bed, when he heard Annie cry out.

Heart in throat, he tore into the bedroom to find her standing before the armoire, her white nightgown soaked with pinkish fluid, her face pale with fright.

“Honey, it’s all right. Your water just broke, that’s all.”

Christ! The baby was coming. Alex tore open dresser drawers, searching for a dry nightgown. Striving to appear calm when he actually was terrified, he helped her to change and then got her into bed before racing downstairs to find Maddy.

“Send Henry for Dr. Muir,” he yelled. “Annie’s having the baby! Her water broke. It’s coming, Maddy.

We have to get Daniel over here. Fast!”

Maddy stared at him long and hard. “Alex, methinks ye’d better calm down. It’ll likely be hours before the lass gives birth.”

Alex gulped and rubbed a hand over his face. “Are you absolutely sure?’’

Maddy calmly took off her soiled apron and put on a fresh one. “Of course I’m not sure. But, as I understand it, that’s the usual way of things with the first baby.”

Alex, relaxed slightly and took a deep breath. “I guess you’re right. I am overreacting a little, aren’t I?”

He gestured weakly and chuckled. “It is just a baby coming, after all. I mean—well, women have babies every day. Right?”

Maddy marched past him. Throwing open the kitchen door, she poked her head into the room beyond and screamed, “Henry! Get yer arse down here! The baby’s comin’!”

So much for everyone remaining calm. On the way upstairs, Alex discovered that when she was scared, Maddy could damned near outrun him, even going uphill. He also discovered that, jogging abreast of each other, they tended to become stuck when they tried to pass through doorways.

During all this excitement, Annie had drifted off into a restless sleep. When Alex and Maddy reached his bedchamber and found her napping, they each pulled up a chair, one at either side of the bed, and sat down to stare at her stomach. Every once in a while Annie would moan softly, at which times Alex felt sure her belly tightened. When he said as much to Maddy, she leaned forward to watch more closely.

“Ach! I believe ye’re right. She’s havin’ a slight contraction.”

Alex opened his watch. “It’s fifteen after. Help me remember so we can accurately time them, all right?”

That was how Daniel found the three of them, Annie sound asleep, Alex and Maddy counting her pains.

Upon seeing the doctor, Maddy said, “Now that the moment’s upon us, me thinks egg layin’ would’ve been easier.”

Daniel couldn’t help chuckling. “From the look of things, I’d say Annie’s faring better than either of you.

It may be a few hours before we get down to serious business, you know. I can sit with Annie while you two get some sleep, if you’d like.”

“Sleep?” they echoed.

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Daniel chuckled. “I suppose not.” He rubbed his chin. “Hmm ... Well, when there’s a change, call me.

I’ll be stretched out in the study. If neither of you intends to get some rest, I can’t see why I shouldn’t.”

Right before dawn, Alex ran down to the study to shake the doctor awake. “It’s coming,” he said shakily. “Hurry, Daniel. She’s in a bad way.”

The physician sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, apparently in no hurry. “I could use a cup of coffee.”

“Coffee?” Alex grabbed the man by his arm and jerked him up from the sofa. “My wife is giving birth!

You don’t have time for a goddamned cup of coffee.”

Several cups of coffee and nearly ten hours later, Annie went into hard labor. Alex refused to leave her side, much to Daniel’s dismay. As a general rule, he didn’t allow fathers to attend births. In his experience, most men didn’t handle it well, and thus far, Alex hadn’t shown any sign that he might prove to be an exception. As Annie’s pains grew worse, however, Alex dug in and weathered the storm quite well, outwardly calm and doing all he could to soothe Annie when she became frightened.

“It’s all right, sweetheart,” he said, over and over. “I’m here.”

Watching the two of them together, Daniel realized he had underestimated the love they felt for each other. No matter how excruciating her pain, Annie never took her gaze off Alex or let go of his hand.

And, exhausted though Alex was, he never left the girl’s side, not to have a meal, not to rest, not even to stretch his legs.

What touched Daniel most of all, though, was watching the two of them communicate in sign. More than once, he saw Alex moving his fingers against Annie’s palm, talking to her—Daniel suspected he was saying he loved her—in an intimate way that no one else could interpret. When the climactic moment finally arrived, Daniel delivered the baby, but it was Alex who coached Annie through the ordeal, Alex who mopped her face and smoothed her hair, Alex who placed her son in her arms. “A boy, Annie,” he said huskily. “Isn’t he something? We have a son.’’

When Daniel saw the tears in Alex Montgomery’s eyes, he took it as his cue to leave the room and give the couple some privacy. Once in the hall, he leaned wearily against the wall, his gaze fixed blankly on the floor, his thoughts on Annie, Alex, and their marriage, which, until today, he had believed was little more than a convenient arrangement. Not so, he realized now. If ever he’d seen two people deeply in love, it was those two. Albany... In March, Annie would go away to school, leaving her husband behind. Daniel had sincerely believed it was the best thing for the girl. Now he was no longer so sure.

Watching Alex’s face as he looked down at his son in her arms, Annie was filled with an indescribable joy. He looked both tender and fiercely protective, every line of his face taut with emotion. She understood the feelings, for she was experiencing them herself. Her baby. Her own tiny baby. In the space of only a few minutes, she loved this tiny person so completely it was almost frightening.

Alex knelt beside the bed and curled an arm around the two of them. Blinking to keep her eyes open, for she was absolutely exhausted, Annie looked into his beloved face and smiled. She’d never felt so complete. In that moment, it struck her that, for the first time in her life, she could love without reservation. There were two people who needed her. Really needed her. She’d never felt needed before.