Another Chance (41 page)

Wolf's old fear of marrying a white woman returned
. Had he inflicted his grandmother's pain on his beloved Sarah?  "I, too, have worried about this. I will understand if you wish to return to your father." Each word he spoke acted like a fresh stab wound, and Wolf found he could do nothing to staunch the flow of blood.

Sarah
stared at him in horror. "Does thee not want me?"

His heart soared when he heard the regret in her voice
. "I would sooner lose all that I own than to lose you," he responded with difficulty.

She covered his hand with hers and squeezed
.

"Will Benjamin also ostracize you?" Wolf asked
.

"He says not
."

"Don't you believe him?" Wolf questioned
.

"His feelings for me will not change, but perhaps I will become an embarrassment to him
." Tears streamed down her face. "Damn, damn, damn society! Why can't people live their own lives and stop interfering with others?"

Wolf pulled her off her horse onto his own; then he cradled her in his lap
. "Regardless of the outside world, Little Turtle and White Owl and I will be your family, always." He cupped her chin with his hand and stared directly into her eyes. "Will you marry me?"

"Thee truly wants me?"

"Foolish woman. I have desired you since you first flirted with me at the tavern." He hugged her to him. She buried her face in his leather shirt.

"Thee loves me?" she asked in a soft, quiet, hesitant tone
.

"Love is a word that I am not sure I understand
. I like you. My body yearns for you. I wish to see you every morning when I awake lying next to me. More than that, I cannot say. Still, I believe the passion we feel for one another is a good base for a marriage."

He sensed her body's tension
.

"I shall not wed thee," she whispered, before straightening her back and staring away from him
.

Wolf scarcely heard her words and tried to see her face, but she kept it hidden from him
.

"Why?"

"Without love, our relationship is a shallow well. At the first problem, the water disappears, leaving a useless and dangerous open hole." She eased her mind and her body, away from his.

He tried to pull her back, but she resisted
.

"Many people wed without loving one another
. Why shouldn't we?" he asked.

"That's not true in our case
. Thee may not love me, but I love thee. I could not bear it if thee found another woman and felt for her what I feel for thee." She gripped her hands in her lap and kept her shoulders tucked into her body.

"What will you do?" he asked
. Her rejection hit him like a death. He wanted her against him, wanted to comfort her, and wanted to banish all her sorrow. Yet, even though they sat near, she was pulling away from him.

"Until the corporal is apprehended, I will stay with thee
. I will continue to love thee, but I cannot share my physical body with thee. Since we will not married, when the area is safe, I will return to my father." She clasped her arms around the front of her waist. "I think I would like to ride alone."

He wished to stop her, to force her to stay with him, but he could not
.

Once she settled on her horse, she said, "Thy grandfather and thy son are far ahead
. Let us ride and catch them." Without waiting for his reply, she clicked the reins and jabbed her heels into the side of her mount.

Reluctantly, he cantered after her
.

             
* * *

"She hid her face from me," Long Knife shouted, as they drew near the farm house
.

Sarah
dismounted and walked toward the front step of the house where the lad stood, looking utterly rejected. She empathized with his pain, especially since this afternoon after her own life had taken several excruciating twists. At least, Jeremiah had found him. Sarah had hoped that with the return of Long Knife, Quick Rabbit would begin to heal. Obviously, Sarah had overlooked something. Pushing her own aches aside, she asked, "Did she speak to thee?"

He shook his head
.

Gently,
Sarah laid her hand on his arm. "Tell me what happened."

"She was sitting on the step, staring around her
. When I called her, she looked at me, cried 'No,' then she buried her face in her lap."

"What did thou do?"

"I placed my hand on her shoulders. She flinched and started to shudder." He brushed the side of his shaven head with his free hand. "I pulled away, hoping she would stop crying." He shook his head. "It didn't help."

Patting his forearm,
Sarah asked, "What occurred next?"

"The women tried to calm her
. She shook them off. They suggested I leave." He began pacing again, stopped and faced Sarah. "What can I do?"

"I will see her,"
Sarah said. "Wolf, take care of him." She started to run toward the village.

"Wait for me," Little Turtle cried
.

Sarah
whirled around. Unwilling to sever or fray the bond building between them, she searched for an excuse. "Since thy father is busy, thee must help White Owl with the horses," she eventually managed.

He pouted
.

"When I return, why don't we practice with our knives?"

His face beamed. "Hurry back."

She rubbed his scalp lock with her knuckles
. "I must run."

When
Sarah arrived at Quick Rabbit's home, the woman sat silently on the top step, gazing straight ahead. None of the other women was present. Perhaps, once Quick Rabbit had ceased crying, they had left.

"Quick Rabbit?
It is I, Sarah." Kneeling nearby, but careful not to touch the grieving woman, Sarah went on, "Long Knife …"

The woman started to tremble, fiercely shaking her head from side to side
.

Attempting to comfort her,
Sarah gingerly placed her hand on Quick Rabbit's arm, hoping her action would not be rejected. "Hush. I am here."

Quick Rabbit permitted
Sarah's touch. Slowly, the shivering ceased, but the unreadable expression in the woman's eyes persisted. Sarah sought to identify her look. At first, she believed Quick Rabbit's mien was one of fear, but soon dismissed that idea. An article she had read long ago and had forgotten until now ran through her mind about a victim feeling embarrassed by what had occurred. Mayhap, Quick Rabbit believed she was responsible for the rape, thought she should have prevented the rape, thereby concluded she had shamed her son.

Increasing the pressure on the woman's arm,
Sarah said, "Thou are not to blame. The man attacked thee. Thou had no choice. He overwhelmed thee." Stating each sentence clearly and distinctly, then repeating them, she saw the tension in Quick Rabbit's expression dim.

Sarah
pushed on. "A woman's body is her own. No man may use or abuse it. Thou must not allow what the soldier did to destroy thy life." She punctuated each word. "Thou did nothing to be ashamed of. Thy people will protect thee. Thou need never be afraid again." She repeated these sentences over and over again. Each time, Quick Rabbit sat a little straighter. The lines on her face continued to fade. When at last the woman seemed at peace, Sarah threw her arms around Quick Rabbit.

"I cannot face him," Quick Rabbit's voice, rusty with disuse, forced out the words
.

"Thou
will never see the British corporal again," Sarah said with confidence.

"No
. Long Knife." The woman drew in a deep breath.

Still cradling her,
Sarah said, "Thy son believes thee innocent. Long Knife wishes to comfort thee. Thy rejection hurts him." Knowing how cruel her words might sound, she forced herself on. "Will thou continue to isolate thyself and deny him his mother? Yes, he is a Lenape brave, but a very young one."

Jerking away, Quick Rabbit search
ed Sarah's face then she began to cry.

"Let thy tears wash away all the guilt and embarrassment
. Thou must return to the living, put aside thy grieving." Sarah found her handkerchief and handed it to the woman.

When the weeping stopped,
Sarah asked, "Will thou see thy son?"

Quick Rabbit nodded
.

Sarah
almost volunteered to comb the woman's hair, but held back. Too many people had assisted Quick Rabbit with her daily grooming. "While I am fetching Long Knife, thou can wash thy face and dress thy hair."

She looked nervous
.

"I will give thee plenty of time,"
Sarah said. "Greet Long Knife inside. I will make sure no one disturbs thee."

"You come
inside the house, too," she said anxiously.

Sarah
smiled. "Thou desires this?"

Quick Rabbit nodded
.

              * * *

Sarah
found Long Knife, sitting on the step outside the plantation house. Wolf rested against the nearby railing. She smiled at them, before looking at the boy. "Thy mother will see thee."

"What shall I say?"

"Tell her thou art pleased to see her," Sarah said.

"Compliment her on her dress," Wolf added
.

Sarah
stared at him, but didn’t disagree.

"Women generally enjoy flattery
."

"That is true
." Sarah hoped she had not been foolish to allow Quick Rabbit to prepare herself for her son's visit. "Oh! Remember, do not tell her about being a scout for the Continental Army."

"If she asks what I am doing?"

"Tell her thou art hunting."

"It will not be a lie, for you s
eek the most dangerous of game …man," Wolf added.

"Thee speaks the truth,"
Sarah said. After a few more minutes of instruction, she judged that Quick Rabbit had had a sufficient interval to prepare herself.

When they reached his cabin, Long Knife hesitated outside the entrance
.

Sensing his uneasiness,
Sarah said, "I will go first."

He nodded
.

She lifted the latch and pushed open the oak door
. "Quick Rabbit, thy son is here to see thee."

A well-groomed woman sat on a stool facing the clean-swept hearth
. Quick Rabbit had donned the traditional knee-length skirt, but beads of black and red, the favorite colors of the Lenape, decorated the back and sleeves of her deerskin shirt. On the visible ankle and wrist, small silver bells hung. In her hands, she held a small piece of fur. Her long hair was folded and wrapped around a piece of cloth, pulling the heavy mane close to her head. She had decked herself in her finest outfit, but she sat so still that not even the trinkets jingled.

The effort that Quick Rabbit had expended to attire herself so formally pleased
Sarah. "May we come in?" she asked and gestured for Long Knife to follow her into the one-room house.

Although Quick Rabbit kept her back to them, she briefly nodded her head
. A soft, tinkling sound broke the silence she had created.

With careful, measured steps,
Sarah and the young brave approached Quick Rabbit. When they reached her, Sarah gestured for the boy to walk around his mother and kneel by her far side. "Thy son has come to see thee."

"How beautiful you look," Long Knife said
.

Quick Rabbit glanced at him
.

"I have missed you
." He covered her empty hand with his.

Sarah
tensed, waiting.

The Lenape woman did not pull away
.

The sight filled
Sarah with joy, and she sighed silently.

Quick Rabbit held out the deerskin cloth toward Long Knife
. "Yours."

He looked confused
.

"A baby blanket?"
Sarah asked, pointing to the teenager.

His mother nodded
.

Long Knife reddened as he grasped the soft fur
.

As quietly as possible,
Sarah eased out of the cabin. When she stepped into the light, Wolf stood waiting.

"How is she?"

Sarah told him about the meeting. "I think she is on her way to recovering."

"Thank you for helping my people
." Wolf pulled her into his arms and tried to kiss her.

She turned her head
.
They would be mine, too, if only thee loved me.