Anti-Stepbrother (25 page)

I couldn’t look away from Caden.

Kevin had already hurt me, or I’d thought he had. But that hadn’t been real. It was empty. A game I had played with myself. This with Caden. This was real. What happened with this could shatter me.

A wall fell away as if I were seeing Caden for the first time.

It was Caden.

It was Caden…

“Oh, no.”

Caden frowned. That gorgeous face of his—shadowed at times, mysterious, elusive, but so beautiful and so addicting. Even his frown didn’t stop me from wanting to kiss him.

His head inched back. “You okay?”

“What?”

I was in love with Caden.

The realization was a bomb exploding inside of me. I knew there were feelings, but this… I wasn’t prepared for this. I couldn’t take a risk like this.

I loved Caden.

“What is it?” he asked again. “You’re starting to worry me, and that’s saying a lot. I’ve gotten used to your quirkiness.”

I fumbled out, “I just remembered Avery called earlier. I should check in with her. Make sure she’s okay with, you know, Marcus and all. He’s not being that nice to her.”

I was up and backing away.

“Summer.” Caden followed me to the door.

“I’m good. She texted me, but I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t really think.” I backed into the door. I reached for the doorknob. “I’m going to go find her.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re at the Homecoming bonfire tonight.”

“See? Exactly. She’s with him. I really need to find her now.”

“Summer,” he said again.

I opened the door and hurried out, yelling over my shoulder, “I’ll call you later.”

I didn’t hear his response. I was running. It was wrong, but I was acting on pure instinct. If he hurt me, I’d never come back from that.

“You’re coming Friday?”

“What?”

I was on the phone with Clarissa, and it took me the next second to realize what she was talking about. The road trip.

“Oh! Yes. The road trip in two weekends. Yes. Friday we’re coming.” Wait. Now the wheels were turning, and I remembered Caden saying something about Thursday. “No. We’re coming Thursday.” Or was it Saturday?

“Thursday? Okay. We can do that.”

I chewed my bottom lip. “It could be Saturday.”

I couldn’t remember. I’d have to call Caden and ask, and that would be awkward. I’d been avoiding him since Friday night, since I realized my feelings for him. I got out of there before he realized, or I hoped I had.

Caden was a great friend, and I knew he had fun with me, but he didn’t have feelings for me. I didn’t think… Caden wasn’t going to date me. He dated girls who were out of my league. He might kiss me, hold me, have sex with me—yes to all those—but date me and have real feelings for me?

It wasn’t going to happen, and I wasn’t about to make Caden into another Kevin. I wouldn’t let my daydreams and fantasies go off to Fairy Neverland this time. Nope. I wasn’t going to get carried away.

I already missed him.

Saturday and Sunday had been bleak. I’d spent Saturday afternoon with my dad and Sheila, but they’d headed home in the early evening. Apparently whatever they’d needed to work through on Friday wasn’t fully resolved.

After they left, I’d watched movies with some girls on my floor, and I studied all day in the library on Sunday with Shayla. I’d ordered a pizza with Avery that night. Pre-the big fucked-up emotions unveiling, I would’ve hung out both nights with Caden. I sighed just thinking about it.

He would’ve been going to a party. He would’ve asked me to go. I would’ve said no, and we would’ve hung out at his place instead. Sunday night might’ve been spent the same way. Nothing special, but everything that made me feel seen and important and like I belonged, because Caden was my people. He was mine.

I
really
missed him.

“Okay, what the hell is going on with you?”

“What?”

I could hear the scowl on Clarissa’s face through the phone. “We’ve been talking for an hour, and it’s like pulling teeth to get details from you. And you’re sighing like a damned train signaling it’s coming to a crossing. What the hell is going on? Don’t lie to me. We’ve been best friends since fifth grade. I will sic May on you if I don’t think you’re being straight with me.”

I shuddered. “Not May. Never May.”

“Well, then start spilling, Stoltz. This is bullshit. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t.” I squeezed my eyes closed.

“It’s a guy.”

“How’d you know?”

“I’m not even dignifying that with an answer.”

“Right.” I grimaced. “Best friend.”

She harrumphed. “Since fifth grade.”

“Yeah.”

“So who is it? And please don’t say it’s Kevin.”

“How’d you know?”

“It is Kevin?!”

“What?”
Oh!
“No, but how’d you know about Kevin?”

“You mean how’d I know you used to like him?”

“Yeah.”

She sighed this time. “Summer, every girl in school liked him. Trust me. You weren’t alone.”

“You too?”

“I’m human.”

“And May?”

“Her too. She slept with him. Did you know that?”

“Shut up.” I kicked against the desk, pushing my chair back on its hind legs again. “When?”

“Our senior year. He came back for a visit.”

“Where was I?”
Wait.
“Didn’t he have a girlfriend then?”

“He always had a girlfriend.”

I groaned, smacking my hand to my forehead. “I really feel dumb now. Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”

“I didn’t.” She got quiet. “Wait, did you?”

I switched to chewing the inside of my cheek. This was so fucked up.

“When?” she demanded.

My cheeks were flaming red. “Graduation night.”

“Summer! You told me you were going to kiss him, but I didn’t think it would happen.”

“I did? When?”

“At the party, but you were drunk. We were all drunk.”

“Matthews doesn’t get drunk.
”

“Was Kevin?” I asked.

“Was he what? Drunk?”

“Yeah.” My word came out raspy.

“I don’t know. He’d been drinking, but now that you ask, I can’t remember if he was drunk or not. I don’t think he was.” She paused. “Does that matter?”

Yes. So much yes.

“He took advantage of you.
”

I couldn’t get Caden out of my head. I murmured into the phone, “Not anymore.”

“Oh, Sum.”

There was the best friend doing the best friend thing. She heard the hurt in my voice. “Did he hurt you? Is he coming that weekend? I’ll rip off his balls.”

I laughed. “I’ve missed you so much. You know that?”

“I’ve missed you too. We’ve all been so busy, but we need to talk twice a month.”

“Agreed.” My chest felt lighter. I could breathe easier. “Or once a week.”

“Yes. Daily emails.”

“Group chats.”

“Hangout chats.”

“Yes!”

“No more of this not keeping in touch. It’s bullshit.”

“Agreed.” I wanted to thrust my fist in the air. I was getting inspired. “Friends make the world go round.”

“Damn straight.” She cursed. “My roommate just got back. I have to go. You’ll like her when you come.”

“Okay.” I was back to chewing my bottom lip. “Oh hey, before you go, the guys have rented some house for us, I think. But it might be full. If I needed to, could I stay with you guys in your dorm room?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, but only if there’s room—”

“We were hoping to crash at the house. It’s a big deal here that Alpha Mu is opening up their second house for you guys. It’s given us major cred.”

I cursed. “Really?” I couldn’t hold back my disappointment. “I mean, yay! That’s awesome.”

“Kevin’s in that fraternity. Is he coming?
Is
he the guy? You never answered me.”

“What guy?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not.” I was.

“I know there’s a guy thing going on. I just haven’t figured out if it’s Kevin or not. Is it him?”

“No. That ship sailed, then kinda returned to dock. He’s in a different marina now.”

“I’m sorry.”

She meant it. “I’m fine with it.”

“But I’m assuming
the guy
is coming?”

“Can I plead the fifth?”

“Oh, Sum. I’m sorry.”

Pesky tears. I kept blinking. I did not want them to fall.

“Asswipe, let’s go,” I heard in the background on her end. Clarissa said something back, but it was muffled.

“Look, I have to go,” she said, coming back on. “We have something happening, and my usually amazing roommate is being bossy right now.”

“I heard that,” a voice piped up again.

Clarissa pulled away from the phone. “I meant for you to hear that. I’m comforting one of my best friends here.”

There was another exchange, but it was muffled again, and then she came back on the phone. “I’ll talk to you later? I know there are people from your end coordinating with the Alpha Mu chapter here, but keep us in the loop too, will you? Let us know what day you’re coming: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or even Sunday. I don’t care when. I just want to know, and you can sleep here every single night if you want to.”

A wave of gratitude came over me. “Thank you, Clarissa.”

“Did you want me to call back later tonight? We could talk about the guy.”

“No. I don’t even want to talk about the guy.”

“So there is a guy! I got that out of you at least.”

My cheeks were hurting, stretched tight from my stupid grin. “Love you, Clarissa.”

We’d just hung up when I heard, “You okay?”

I hadn’t heard my door opening, but there stood Avery with a concerned frown on her face. She gestured to my phone. “I couldn’t help but overhear some of that. What’s going on?”

I felt raw and exposed, and I was done feeling that way. “Stupid boy stuff.”

She came in, shutting the door behind her, and crossed to sit on my bed. “Kevin?”

I started to shake my head, but stopped. “I’m not trying to shut you out, but I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, that’s cool, but…” She looked down to her lap.

“What?” I turned completely around in my desk chair, gripping the back of it.

“He broke up with Maggie.”

Caden had called it. Kevin had laid out the breadcrumbs for me to follow.

“Really?”

“He moved out, and he’s at the fraternity again.”

“You’ve talked to Maggie?”

She nodded, watching me carefully. “She said he had feelings for a different girl.”

Oh. My. God.

It was happening.

The evidence was in front of me, all of it.

Kevin really did have feelings for me. He’d ended things first with Maggie. As if he was going to magically appear, I glanced at my door. I could almost feel him on the other side of it. I frowned.

“She actually asked me to ask
you
for a favor,” Avery continued.

“Who?”

“Maggie.”

“Maggie what?”

“Maggie asked me to ask you a favor.”

My mind was spinning. “Huh?”

Avery cocked her head to the side. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You seem a little more out of it than normal.”

I gave her a rueful grin. “Caden said something like that to me on Friday. I must need to rein in my weirdness.”

She was still giving me a weird look. “Maybe a little. You’re having a hard time following this conversation.”

I nodded, and then refocused. “Okay. What’s the favor?”

“She wants you to find out who the girl is.”

“Say what?”

“Kevin always has another girl on standby. If he ended things with Maggie, there’s got to be a new girl already. He didn’t even make it six months this time. Can you go ask him who it is?”

Cue the awkwardness. It was me, I was pretty sure, but I needed to make sure, or I needed to make sure he knew I wasn’t an option. The real reason I was going? I wanted to see Caden. A weekend was too long.

“I’ll go.”

“You will?” Avery’s eyes went wide.

I grinned. “I mean, yeah, I’ll go and ask him. I don’t think he’ll tell me.”

She snorted. “You won’t have to ask. She’ll probably be in his room already.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Then I asked, “So we’re pro-Maggie now? I mean, you’re pro-Maggie again?”

Her hands had been on her knees, but she pulled them back at my question. She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know what I am, but she’s bawling in my room, and I couldn’t kick her out.”

I reached forward, laying my hand over hers. “You’re a real friend. You know that, right?”

“Or I’m a stupid friend.” She lifted up gloomy eyes. “She’s going to go after Marcus again. I can feel it.”

“But that won’t matter, because he’s with you, right?” When she said nothing, I added, “I can see him wanting her to want him, but just so he can enjoy it when he rejects her.” I sat back, my hand leaving hers. “I don’t think you need to worry.”

I hoped I was right.