Any Given Christmas (26 page)

She had a lot going on in her life. And though there may be that one big gaping hole in her heart, she would do her best to focus on her career, and her kids, and her community. Someday, hopefully, all the rest would fall into place.

As she closed Dr. Seuss, the recess bell rang and class jumped up to grab their coats and dart outside. Emma rose from the pint-sized chair she’d been sitting on and stretched.

“Hey, Em.”

Emma’s gaze darted to the door. “Hey, Kate. What are you doing here?”

Kate strolled into the room and leaned against the desk while Emma returned
Green Eggs and Ham
to the bookshelf. “I wanted to come tell you there’s a board of directors meeting this Saturday.”

“Why didn’t you just call me?”

When Emma approached her desk, Kate hugged her. “Because I didn’t want to give you the opportunity to hang up on me.”

The genuineness in the gesture made Emma melt. “I would never hang up on you.”

“Even if I told you that my jerky brother will be there?”

Emma’s heart flipped a one-eighty. “I really don’t want to talk about him, let alone have to see him.”

“I know. And I completely understand. But we really need you to be there, Em. We’re voting on a few important items and they can’t get passed unless you vote too.”

“Kate, I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be involved anymore.”

“I know being in the same room with him and not killing him will be impossible. Falling in love sucks, doesn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean to fall in love with him.” A huge sigh pushed from Emma’s lungs. “I knew better. But he’s so…”

“Dean,” Kate said.

“Exactly.”

“Boy, do I know how that feels.” Kate sighed too. “Matt put me through hell before I finally realized we were meant for each other. When I came back to Deer Lick, there was a whole ocean under the bridge between Matt and me. It took us awhile to figure things out. We had our good moments and we had plenty of bad before we came to the conclusion that we just really loved each other so much we couldn’t stand to be without the other. Life isn’t always simple. One minute you’re staring at a building and the next your dead mother is popping into the backseat of her Buick so she can meddle in your love life.”

“What?”

One of Kate’s eyebrows lifted. “I’ll have to explain that one later.”

“Will I need to be drunk at the time to understand?” Emma asked.

Kate laughed. “Probably. All I know is that sometimes things aren’t always as they seem. And neither are people.”

The end-of-recess bell clanged through the room.

While Emma pondered Kate’s cryptic message, her friend grabbed her up in another hug, then headed for the door. “Promise me you’ll be at the lodge house at noon on Saturday?”

Resigned to facing Dean one last time, Emma nodded. “I’ll be there.”
With my resignation from the board.

S
aturday turned out to be the best day of the year so far. Weather-wise, anyway. Emma woke to sunshine beaming through her kitchen window, and she had the sudden urge to stick her fingers in the warm earth to plant something and watch it grow. Instead she climbed in her little Subaru to go face the dragon. How in the world would she contain herself in a room of only three people plus
him
? What about Kelly? How were they going to vote without her?

Emma knew this would be her final task as a board member for the Leticia Silverthorne Sunshine Camp. That reality made her sad. She’d liked being a part of the organization. She’d found herself getting wrapped up in the excitement of the planning stages and she’d been excited to see it come to fruition.

She’d never forget the day Dean had pulled his surprise field trip for her class. Or the look on his face when he’d opened the barn doors to let the kids in to see the animals. Or the attention he’d paid to Brenden Jones, a boy who needed all the special consideration he could find.

Emma’s heart squeezed. Had she only created a fantasy of Dean? Had she been like everyone else in Deer Lick and put him up on a pedestal where he had no choice but to fall?

She slowed her Forester to make the turn into the long driveway of the lodge house. As soon as she’d made the turn she had to pull to the left of the drive to avoid the line of cars parked as far as she could see.

What was going on?

At the end of the drive she squeezed her car into a space between a blue Explorer and a white Chevy Silverado. Grabbing the sealed envelope off the passenger seat, she walked up the steps to the veranda surrounding the house and heard the sounds of music and laughter. She knocked on the door, which swung open almost immediately.

Dean stood in the opening. His face lit up at the sight of her and her heart clenched in her chest. He looked much more put together than the night he’d appeared on her doorstep seeking the forgiveness he’d never been granted. He was clean-shaven. His hair had been styled instead of receiving his usual finger-combed treatment. His black button-down shirt was crisp, and the crease in his khakis knife-sharp. He looked like a businessman and not the sometimes-ruffled athlete most saw on the football field.

But then his career, much like their brief affair, was over, wasn’t it?

“Em. I’m so glad you came.”

With her heart thudding in her throat, she knew the only response she could give without giving away her emotions was a simple nod.

He stepped back and waved his arm. “Come on in. We were all waiting for you to arrive.”

At once the house full of friends and neighbors turned and smiled. Waved and called her name. Robert Silverthorne stood there, as did Kate and Matt, James Harley, and even Maggie and Ollie and their three rambunctious boys. Emma warmed from their welcome.

Dean settled his hand on the small of her back like it belonged there and guided her toward the crowd. The touch of his hand sent a shiver up her spine. And all she could think of was the way he’d held her in his arms. The way he’d said her name when he’d made love to her. And the way he’d smiled at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Panic settled in her chest and sent a “
run”
signal to her feet. Apparently Dean sensed her reluctance to go any further because he tightened his hold at her waist.

“Now that Emma’s here for the ribbon-cutting ceremony, how about we all go outside?” Dean said, and everyone quieted their conversations.

Ribbon cutting?

“The guest and bunkhouses are all open to view, as is the counselor’s cabin and the barn. Kate and my dad have a great set-up of desserts and Edna Price was kind enough to bring some of her apple cider. And don’t worry, it’s not spiked.” He tossed a look to Mrs. Price, who gave him an odd curling of her lips in response. “I hope.”

Chattering, the group filed out of the room toward the French doors that led to the back patio. Emma stepped forward to join them, but Dean caught her hand. Once the room had cleared, Dean turned her to face him.

“I want to thank you for coming today, Em.” His big hand circled her forearm.

“I’m not feeling very friendly toward you at the moment. So please…” She glanced down.

Slowly he pulled his hand back and stuck it into the pocket of his khakis. “I know this must be difficult for you.”

“You have no idea.” She ignored the trembling that began in her heart and made its way down to her fingers as she handed him the envelope. “
This
is the only reason I came.”

He studied the envelope and made the correct assumption of what was inside. Then he turned those green eyes on her. “I can’t accept this.”

She took a step back. “You have no choice.”

“Please, Em.” His jaw clenched. “Please just come outside and be a part of this ribbon cutting. Beyond anything else, my mom would want you to be here. If after that, you still want to resign, I promise I’ll accept it without any hassles.”

“Your promises aren’t worth much, I’m afraid.”

A wistful smile lifted the corners of his beautiful mouth. “That’s the past.”

She gave a humorless laugh. “You expect me to believe that you’ve turned over this new leaf in, what, six days?”

“It’s not a new leaf, Emma. It’s who I am. But I guess you’ll have to judge that for yourself.” He pushed the envelope back at her. “Hold onto to this and see me after the dedication if you still want to resign.”

W
alking away from Emma at that moment was even harder than handing in his own resignation to the Stallions’ coach and owner. He knew what the news said, that he’d been dropped from the team roster. The details didn’t matter. He’d walked away because it was what had been best for the team. He respected the fans, the owner, the coaches, and especially the players, who deserved a captain who could take them to the Super Bowl.

He was not that man.

He had more important things on his agenda. The only team member he wanted and needed was right now standing inside his house, holding a piece of paper that would forever cut ties with him.

No way in hell could he let that happen.

Emma Hart meant more to him than a game and a ring. Unless that ring happened to be around her finger after she’d said I do. To him.

On his way to the front of the crowd, Edna Price clamped an arthritic hand over his mending shoulder. Her weathered face smiled. “You’ve got a chance to make this right, young man. We’ve given you the ball. Now you have to throw it into the end zone.”

Dean looked up into the old woman’s steady gaze. He patted the hand she’d settled on his shoulder. “I plan to give it everything I’ve got, ma’am.”

He made his way to where his and Brenden Jones’s families stood in front of the old barn. Where a giant red ribbon had been stretched between two tall pines. Dean watched his brother-in-law kiss his sister on the cheek and settle his hand at the small of her back in a gesture of protection and familiarity. Dean’s chest constricted.

That’s what he wanted.

The right to love and touch Emma whenever he wanted.

Just because he could.

And more importantly, to have that level of trust and intimacy reciprocated.

He ruffled Brenden Jones’s spiky hair, then turned toward the community that had supported him throughout his career and who had let him know when his behavior didn’t meet their standards. Though he’d once mocked Emma for the way she worried about what her neighbors would think about their relationship, he found himself caring deeply about what the people in this town thought.

Deer Lick, Montana, may be as far removed from the bright lights, big city as a place could get, but for Dean, it was exactly where he wanted to be.

Movement caught his eye and he watched Emma walk out onto the back deck. In her baby-blue sweater and white hoodie, she glanced over the crowd and the dozens of balloons that floated in the sunshine. Her eyes widened as she glanced around the property. In the past week the entire place had been cleaned up and redesigned to suit the many campers Dean hoped would come to stay. He’d hired all the locals he could, plus a few extra, to make today happen. Not only to move forward with his life and the organization, but because if there had been a chance that Emma would forgive him, he needed it to happen now and not later.

“My family and I would like to thank you all for coming today. But before we dedicate this camp, I personally want to thank you all for the support you’ve given us to make this dream a reality. My mother,” he said, clearing the clog of emotion stuck in his throat, “would be very happy to see you all here and to know that this place will help a lot of kids like Brenden Jones in the future.” He glanced across the crowd to Emma. Though she squinted against the bright sunlight, he could feel the intensity of her blue eyes all the way into his soul. Their gazes locked as he spoke.

“It’s hard to believe that just a week ago my world came crashing down. I’ll be honest. I didn’t know what to do. I’d played football for as long as I can remember and I thought that’s all there was. When they told me I may never throw a football again I was devastated. Lost. Embarrassed. I haven’t always been the best in showing my appreciation for all the love and support you’ve shown me. And I know I let some very important people down.”

Emma’s expression didn’t change. Her hands remained clutched around the deck rail.

“I will do better in the future,” he said, purposely omitting the word
promise
. Knowing that for the most important member of his audience, that term held little meaning when it came from him.

“I’m proud to be a member of this community. This is home. And I plan to stay.” Dean forced himself to break eye contact with Emma when all he wanted to do was hold her until she forgave him. He glanced at his family beside him and smiled when his father’s arm slid around his shoulders. Someone handed him a giant pair of scissors. “So it’s with pride and honor that we welcome you to the Letty Silverthorne Sunshine Camp.”

The crowd applauded as the scissors sliced through the ribbon. Kate moved closer, took his hand, and gave it a squeeze of encouragement. He glanced up to the deck to find Emma again, but she was gone.

O
nce the attendees of the ribbon-cutting ceremony were happily chowing down on Kate’s newest pastry creations and visiting the new animals in the barn, Dean slipped into the house expecting to find the dreaded envelope sitting on his kitchen counter and the love of his life gone for good. But when he walked through the French doors, there she stood, looking out the windows at the water sparkling on the lake. The envelope clasped in her hand.

He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Em? You okay?”

She gave him a nod that was barely visible. “It really is a spectacular view.”

“It’s more spectacular when you’re here to share it with me.” He turned her to face him and wasn’t surprised to find tears wetting her long, dark lashes.

Her bottom lip quivered. “I really don’t want to like you.”

“I know, honey. But before you go getting all wrapped up in that ugly stuff, I just want to say one thing. And I want you to know I mean it from right here.” He placed her palm against his heart. Then he cupped her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you, Em. I’m
in
love with you. I have been for a while.”

She glanced away. “No, you’re not.”

“Yeah. I am.” He tucked his fingers beneath her chin and brought her gaze back around. “I just wasn’t sure what it was, because… I’ve never been in love before. When I went back to Houston I felt lost without you. You’re the best part of my life, honey. Even before the doctor told me the chances of my shoulder ever being a hundred percent again were slim, I knew what I wanted to do. What I needed to do. That’s what made it easy.”

“What was easy?”

“To resign.”

“You quit?”

He nodded.

“The news said—”

“Doesn’t matter what they say anymore.”

“But why did you walk away when there’s a chance your shoulder will heal?”

“My football career was a really great ride and I’m not going to lie and say I won’t miss it.” Beneath his hands the tension in her body slowly unwound. He took a chance and slid his arms around her waist. When she didn’t push him away he felt the weight lift from his shoulders. He could make this right. He had to make this right. She felt so good in his arms again. “But it needs to be a great ride for every man on that team. They matter to me. The organization and the fans matter to me. I didn’t want to leave them in limbo, wondering who their captain was, who they should show their loyalty to. For the sake of everyone the best thing to do was to walk away.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Then just listen. At some point,” he said, “a man needs to realize where he wants to be for the rest of his life. I want to be with
you
, Emma.”

He tucked her into him just a little closer. “At Kate’s wedding you said something to me that really stuck. You said it again the other night.”

She shook her head and her silky blond hair resettled over her slim shoulders. “I said a lot of things.”