Anything but Love (17 page)

“I’d feel flattered if you didn’t look so miserable,” Rae said with a soft smile.

“Unchartered territory, is all.”

“Same here. What I mean,” she elaborated after a sip, “is that I’ve never been in a serious relationship, a committed relationship. Especially of a romantic nature.”

“Never?”

She shook her head then reached for the pancakes.

Hearty appetite,
Luke noted then scrunched his brow. “Not to be shallow,” he said plainly, “but you’re rich, beautiful, and smart. How is it you haven’t had men dogging after you since you were, I don’t know, fourteen?”

“Plenty of dogs,” Rae said, looking uncomfortable now.

“But no suitable contenders? No pledges of love? No marriage proposals?”

“None that I took seriously.”

He weighed her words, starting to feel uncomfortable himself. “Are you saying you haven’t met a man who met your standards?”

“I’m saying I haven’t met a man who loved me for me.” She set aside her fork, the pancakes untouched. “Can we get back to us, please?”

He felt a little blindsided. “Sure.” He chugged his coffee and poured more. This was a three-cup morning, at least. “Except … hell. I feel awkward asking now, because—”

“You don’t love me.”

“I don’t
know
you.”

“Ask your question, Luke.”

He dragged his hands though his hair, centered his thoughts then met her gaze. “I want to see you, Rae. Exclusively. I want to date you. I want to sleep with you. I want to learn what makes you tick, what makes you smile. I want to be with you the next time you visit a doctor. I want to talk about our baby’s future and explore the possibility of a future for us. You can’t deny there’s a connection.”

“What if the connection is the baby? Period?”

Luke didn’t answer. It was possible. Sure. But he’d wager not something Rae wanted to hear. He reached across the table and gently grasped her hand. “Will you be my girl, Rae?” The question was so freaking old-fashioned, he half expected her to laugh.

Instead, she brushed her thumb over the back of his hand. “One stipulation.”

The first time he’d ever offered a woman an exclusive commitment and she had a
stipulation
? “Shoot.”

“If it’s not working, if we’re not compatible, we call it off. Before we start resenting one another, before it gets ugly. If nothing else, I want us to be friends for the sake of our daughter.”

“Or son.”

“I’m serious, Luke. If even one of us is unhappy in this exclusive relationship … It only takes one to end it.”

“Not sure I like the sound of that.”

“It’s the only thing I feel comfortable with.”

Huh
. He should’ve been dancing on air. She’d just offered him the perfect out. It bugged the hell out of him. He squeezed her hand. “Okay.”

“Okay.” She smiled a little even though he sensed the tension in her body. “You’re not going to ask me to wear your class ring, are you?” she teased in light of his adolescent proposal. “Proof to the men of Sugar Creek that I’m off-limits?”

“Lucky for you, I lost that ring years ago. But no worries,” he teased back. “I’ll make it clear you’re my girl.”

She narrowed her beautiful albeit suspicious eyes. “Should I be worried?”

Luke’s brain buzzed with everything he’d learned about Rae so far, which wasn’t much, but enough to know she hadn’t been treated well by the men in her life, that she had a shitty relationship with her family, few friends, and few, if any, brushes with genuine affection. The mother of his child deserved better. Any woman deserved better. “Let’s just say you’ve been warned.”

“In addition to toddler and preschool programs, I’m toying with the idea of enrichment programs for ages five through ten,” Rae said. “Supplemental educational opportunities that complement the elementary school’s core curriculum. Most classrooms are overcrowded these days and some children need extra help. I could—”

“You could what?”

Rae looked away from the locked doors of Sugar Tots to the man sitting next to her. On their way to J. T. Monroe’s Department Store, Luke had pulled into the small parking lot of Sugar Tots. He’d invited her to share her plans for reopening the day care center. He’d been the first to ask and apparently she was dying to voice her aspirations because, she realized now, she’d been rambling nonstop for several minutes. “I could help.” A flush crept up her neck to her cheeks. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I have a gift with children and head for education. Special techniques to make learning fun. I have all these ideas—”

“What kind of ideas?”

Rae fussed with her seat belt, angled away the heating vent, and checked her watch. They’d been idling in Luke’s car, in front of Sugar Tots for twenty minutes. It felt like a blip and a lifetime rolled into one.

“Why are you so shy about sharing your vision?” Luke asked.

“I’m not shy. I could talk about my vision for Sugar Tots for hours.”

“So?”

“I’ve been rambling. You’re probably bored to tears and too polite to say.”

“If I was bored I wouldn’t prod you to share more.” He cocked his head. “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Bottle up all that passion and knowledge when you were working here under Gretchen?”

Rae shrugged. “It leaked out sometimes, but she didn’t want to hear it. She was set in her ways.”

“And not half as committed to the children of this town as you are. She threw in the towel and you’re not only picking up the pieces, but raising the bar.” He narrowed his eyes. “How is it you’re not already established as a teacher somewhere else?”

“Jobs are hard to come by.”

“Surely not for someone as smart and influential—”

“You mean rich. I wasn’t rich before. Not personally.”

“But now you are.”

“The thing about being smart and influential is that there’s always someone smarter and more influential than you. And if that person wants to derail your life well then you’re sort of screwed.” Rae cursed the words as soon as they left her mouth. What was wrong with her? She’d never been so forthright. When she was younger, yes, but not for a long time. Not after learning how people twisted her words. Not after enduring disappointment, humiliation, and betrayal on multiple counts.

“Who wants to derail your life, Rae?”

“No one. Forget I said anything.”

“Your mom? Geoffrey?”

Rae blinked.

“I’d have to be an idiot not to notice the tension between you and those two when I was at your house—”

“Their house.”

“Factor in your unwillingness to raise your child anywhere near them? I’m sensing bad blood.”

“We don’t get along, that’s for sure. Can we go now?” She wasn’t ready for this conversation. She didn’t want to think about her mom or Geoffrey, let alone talk about the misery they’d inflicted. But even as she pushed away the memories, anger and panic tripped her pulse.

Luke shifted into reverse. “Whatever it is—”

“It isn’t anything.” Rae massaged her aching chest. Could a person’s heart burst through their rib cage?

Luke cast her an enigmatic glance then focused on the road. “Okay.”

She nodded, swallowed. Told herself to chill. Her mother had dashed any hope of ever forming a genuine, caring bond. She’d chosen that bastard Geoffrey over her only daughter, and Geoffrey.… Even though Rae hadn’t divulged details regarding his betrayal, the man had retaliated against Rae nonetheless. Retaliated and refreshed his threat. In turn, Rae had chosen a new life. This life. If only they’d leave her alone. She glanced at her cell, noting another text from the woman who’d given her life and little else.

JUST LET ME KNOW U R OK

As if Olivia really cared. What she cared about was the money Rae had promised her—an emergency fund should she ever find herself unwed for longer than two years. Unwed and broke. Like that would ever happen. If Geoffrey ever cut Olivia loose, she’d just latch onto another tycoon. Money and men—her drug of choice. Along with attention. Still … the aging pseudocelebrity was probably just logical enough to want a back-up plan—namely access to her daughter’s inheritance.

Chest tight, Rae thumbed a response.

DON’T WORRY. WON’T CUT U OFF.

Not financially. But
emotionally
 …

Severing that tie was crucial, otherwise Rae would forever mourn their wretched relationship.

She stared at the screen, dreading a reply. None came. Apparently she’d calmed Olivia’s concern and that was that. For now. Disgusted, Rae tossed her cell in her purse.

“Everything okay?” Luke asked.

Rae forced a smile. “It will be.” She scrambled to divert the conversation.

Luke beat her to it. “Join me tonight,” he said as he pulled into a private side lot of J.T.’s.

“For what?”

“Dinner,” he said as he pocketed his keys. “Rocky’s house, formerly Daisy’s house. Our traditional weekly dinner. Although Chloe will be cooking. New tradition.”

Thud. Thud
. “Thank you, but no.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a family dinner.”

“Family and friends. Different guests every week, depending on who can make it. Monica and Leo will be there, if it makes you feel any better.”

It didn’t. A family and friends—close friends—dinner with the Monroes? It was too much, too soon. Too intimate.

“Daisy will be there, too,” Luke added. “Chloe. Rocky. Aside from my sister you haven’t met up with any of the Cupcake Lovers since you returned, right?”

“Just Sam.”

“Right. Anyway it might make things easier, more comfortable, if you reconnected on a personal level with some of the members instead of stepping in cold at Thursday’s meeting.”

It made sense, but she still wasn’t convinced. “Speaking of Sam, will he be there?”

“I’m not sure. Even if he is…” Luke shrugged. “Maybe it would help to have the family as a buffer. Plus, I’ve never brought a girl to Sunday dinner, Rae. If I bring you along, Sam will know I’m serious. About you. Us. Everyone will know.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Hell, no.”

She laughed at that. At his casual honesty. For some reason it made her feel better to know Luke was still wary of their new liaison. Otherwise she’d question the wisdom of this whirlwind commitment even more than she already did. “Okay. I’ll come. In for a penny, in for a pound.” As nervous as she was about this family dinner, Luke had made some good points.

His mouth twitched. “You sure?”

“Hell, no.”

He smiled full out then cupped the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

It was slow and deep and sweet, causing Rae’s body to hum with memories of their lovemaking a few hours before. Aside from the sheer physical pleasure, Luke had intensified the moment by admitting that he hadn’t been with another woman since their tumble in Bel Air.

“
Since you
.”

Since December.

She didn’t want to read into that, but it weighed on her mind.

He’d flown all the way across the country on Christmas Eve to confront her and he’d come home affected. The fact that he’d been celibate since spoke volumes. That he’d asked her to be his girl, that he’d suggested an exclusive relationship, had intimated even more.

Rae had no illusions. This wouldn’t be easy. But maybe, just maybe, she and Luke were meant to be. Maybe the happily ever after she’d always dreamed of—a kind and caring husband, children of her own, and a down-to-earth existence—was within her grasp.

Framing Luke’s handsome face, Rae deepened the kiss while mentally stripping away one layer of her massively shielded heart.

Yes, she was opening herself up for hurt, but she was a warrior and her dream was worth fighting for.

Luke was buzzed.

On a kiss.

He practically floated through the side entrance of J.T.’s.

Yeah, boy,
this
was bad.

He’d told himself he was going to take this thing with Rae slow, that he was acting in a logical and responsible way. Considering he didn’t want her seeing any other guy, he owed her an exclusive. Considering he wanted to take an active role in his child’s life, it made sense to explore their physical attraction. If they were compatible, if it evolved into a matter of the heart, then he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

He kept reminding himself of the complications—her fortune, her secrets, her inability to trust, and her penchant to run from her problems. That damned stipulation of hers ate at him.

“
If even one of us is unhappy in this exclusive relationship … It only takes one to end it.
”

What about talking through the problem, sorting things out? If every couple split up just because one or the other had an issue, marriage would be obsolete. His parents had had their fair share of problems over the years, his grandparents, too, both sets. When the going got tough they toughed it out, worked it out. Granted, Luke had been in and out of a hundred relationships, but every one of those relationships had been casual. No strings attached. No expectations. Great sex and good times. Companionship.

Now that he’d committed to Rae, Luke was inspired to give it his best shot and beyond. It was in his blood. As was wanting what was best for his child. If that meant making some sacrifices or going the extra mile then, dammit, he’d do whatever it took.

He knew just where to start.

“You know your way around the store,” he said to Rae as they neared the old-fashioned candy counter. “Mind if I swing off for a few minutes? I need a word with Dev.”

His big brother had been the acting COO of the family department store ever since their dad had “retired” to Florida. As a workaholic, Dev used to practically live here. Things were different now that Chloe was in his life, but Luke knew Dev was here this morning because of the voice mail Dev had left on Luke’s cell the night before.