Anywhere But Here (The Starborn Ascension) (23 page)

Good,
I think.
 

“So, you didn’t think it was a good idea to say something to the contrary?” I ask.
 

“What would you have done?”

“I would have been brave about it,” I tell him. “I would have manned up and let other people know that what Paxton said wasn’t how it happened.” I feel more anger toward Gabe than anyone right now…even more so than toward Paxton. I had thought the two of us were becoming friends but that must have gone out the window when he decided not to stand up for me.
 

“You don’t understand,” Gabe says.
 

“Enlighten me,” I say.
 

He puts the truck in gear and we start rolling forward. Soon, we’re driving past dead cars again, trees all around us, Crestwood a distant memory behind us. I can’t help but feel scared. I can feel myself getting into survival mode. It’s not a situation that I’m fond of.

I don’t like to admit when I’m scared. I never have. When I was little, sometimes there would be a big storm coming through and everyone in the school would have to go out into the hallways or under the concrete stairwells away from the windows. I could remember so many of my friends crying like it was the end of the world. Ironic that the end of the world was only a few years away. Now most of them are probably dead and it would have been better if a storm would have just washed them away forever. It makes me sick to think of how many of my classmates might still be out there, their skin rotting to an ash-grey color, with black, soulless eyes, and the lust for flesh.
 

I want to throw up.
 

Gabe doesn’t say much as we drive. I want to know what he’s thinking but I’m too proud to ask. I’m not going to show my weakness; I’m going out strong. I’m as good as dead the moment he drops me off, but he will not see fear in my eyes - the reflection of what I feel inside.
 

I have no weapon. I barely have enough clothes to keep me warm. I have no shelter. I have no food. I’m starting from scratch. The worst of all those? - no weapon. I’m going to have to make do with a sharp stick or a rock, but if I come across three or more, I’ll be walking alongside the greyskins as one of their new members. That is, unless they consume me completely.

The sun rises over the horizon and blinds me until I pull down the visor in front of me. I close my eyes as we travel down the road and I try to listen to someone, anyone, at Crestwood, but the place is already too far gone.
 

Too far gone.
That’s what I am.
 

We’ve been in the truck for at least an hour before Gabe pulls it over and sets it in park. We sit in silence for almost a full minute. As I look out the windows I see so many different colors. The reds, yellows, and browns mix with some of the more stubborn leaves that still hold onto their green from the summer. I don’t know which is more stubborn, the green leaf that refuses to change color or the brown leaf that refuses to let go of the branch. Eventually, they will all fall to the ground.
 

“I was going to tell Paxton everything, Remi,” Gabe says. “Even after you told me not to, I marched to his office to let him know that it was my idea.”

“What stopped you?” I ask, my forehead pressed against the cold glass.
 

“Well, I went to his office, but I overheard him talking to someone. I think it was Shadowface.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Just the way he was talking,” Gabe said. “Paxton just seemed so polite, speaking as though he were stepping around land mines. He was talking about you and how everything went.” He takes a deep breath and rakes his finger through his shaggy hair. “I think this Shadowface person has a hand in a lot more than just goods. I can’t know for sure, but I have a feeling that it was
his
idea to get rid of you. I didn’t say anything because if I did, I know I won’t get a chance to figure out who this Shadowface character is. If Paxton is dealing with someone that is dangerous, I think it should be exposed. I just need more time to figure everything out. I just hate that it’s at your expense.”

I believe him, though I don’t really want to. I almost feel like it would be easier just to write Gabe off as a coward and try to forget about him, but I can’t. He's not that person. He truly is the kind of person that loves Crestwood and its people. He truly does believe in what they are doing and he wants to keep it safe. I wish I could tell him about the conversation I overheard with Paxton and the raider, but I can’t. I don’t want to tell anybody, but I know that it will help Gabe if I do.
 

“I’m sorry it has turned out this way,” he says.
 

“Paxton said I could come back if I find out any information about his daughter,” I say to Gabe.
 

He looks at me and nods. “He usually tells people that leave Crestwood about her, hoping for something. No one ever comes back with information.”

“So, I’m just a shot in the dark?” I ask.
 

Gabe doesn’t answer.
 

“Well, I’m one that might actually know her,” I say. “At least, I think I have met her before. I don’t know if it’s the same girl.”

“Good luck finding her now,” he says. “Three years is an eternity in this world.” He looks at me, his eyes looking sad. “I hope you find her. I hope you find her and can come back to Crestwood.”

“Do you think they would actually let me back in?” I ask.
 

Gabe nods. “I do. Paxton would find a way to make things better.”

“Well, I doubt I will be able to even get to Elkhorn without a weapon.”

Gabe finally smiles and motions for me to get out of the truck. I follow him to the back and he reaches for a bag in the bed that I hadn’t previously noticed. “I’m not about to send you on your way without some protection.”
 

He starts handing me all sorts of items. He gives me a thick coat, a backpack full of food, a first aid kit, and a water bottle. He then pulls out my rifle, a pistol, and several extra magazines of ammunition, along with a sheathed machete. Apart from living within Crestwood, I’ve never felt so safe.

“I tried to make sure that you have enough supplies to at least make it a few days,” he says.
 

“Thank you,” I tell him. “It’s more than I could have hoped for.”

He zips the empty bag back up and rests his arms on the side of the truck. I stand next to him feeling like a walking surplus store, but that’s a good thing.

“Gabe, I feel like I ought to tell you something,” I say. Even as the words come out, my stomach churns. I’m about to tell the man that is carrying out my banishment the truth about my abilities - a betrayal of myself, but I feel like he needs to know.
 

He looks at me without saying a word, his eyebrows raised.
 

“I overheard something, a meeting. There was a group of raiders that came to Crestwood yesterday, right?”

“Yeah, Paxton gave them the boot.”

“Not before he met with them. They want something. They are looking for something.”

“How do you know about this?”

“I said I overheard it.”

“You couldn’t have,” he says, cocking his head to the side. “You were in the cell.”

“I know,” I say. I look away from him, biting my lower lip. “Do you remember when I first came here, Paxton asked me if I had any special abilities?”

“He asks everyone that for some reason,” Gabe says.
 

“Yeah, well, I lied to him when I told him
no
. I can actually hear things better than anyone.”

“What do you mean?” He turns his whole body toward me and stares deep into my eyes.
 

“I mean that if I know a place very well, I can listen to just about anything. If I’m up in my apartment, I can listen at the front gate and hear the conversations of the guards. If I want, I can listen to any of the elders’ meetings. I can hear conversations that Paxton has at Headquarters.”

As he looks at me, I can’t tell if he believes what I’m saying.
 

“Well, yesterday I overheard his conversation with the raider. He’s after the group of people that came into Crestwood.”

“What do you mean after them?”

“I mean, they have something he wants…but it’s not really just something
he
wants. It’s something Shadowface wants.”

Gabe’s eyes widen at my words as though he just had a new idea and I nod at him.
 

“Yep. Paxton
and
the raider guy both answer to this Shadowface. Anyway, expect Paxton to have you exile your newcomers soon. He’s going to want you to take them to a place called Secure Transportation, you know of it?”

Gabe nods, staring now into the bed of the truck.
 

“Now, I don’t know about these people that came into Crestwood, but I know that I would already trust them better than I would that bandit scum. He’s probably going to kill them out there.”

Gabe looks at me, a serious look on his face. “How long have you been able to…”

“A long while now,” I say. “It just sort of happened one day. It’s weird, but it comes in handy.” I reach out and grab Gabe’s hand. “If I can find out something about Paxton’s daughter, then I will be back in Crestwood and we can figure all this out together. Otherwise…” I lean in and kiss him on the cheek - one that says our friendship has been great, but I probably won’t ever see you again. When I pull away, I can’t tell if Gabe has a bit of water in his eyes, but I don’t linger on the stare.
 

“Be careful,” I say, taking a step away from him. “This seems like the kind of thing where you could get way in over your head. It doesn’t seem safe.”

“I’ll be okay,” he says. “Paxton trusts me. It’s you that needs to be careful.”

I grin at him and look all around me with a shrug. “This is the life I’m used to. The past three months have been nice, but probably too good to be true.”

“There are other places, I’m sure,” he says.
 

“You just take care of Crestwood,” I say.
 

I turn my back to him and begin walking down the winding road. When I’m about a hundred paces away, I listen for Gabe.
 

Can you hear me speak to you now?
he asks.
 

I keep walking, my head down as the wind hits me.
 

We will meet again, Remi,
he says.
Paxton may have placed a wedge between us now, but not forever. I have loved getting to know you. I love being around you. I love you.

I try not to let my head turn, but I give myself away only slightly. Then I keep walking - just as I always do. There’s no place for love, no time to get involved, to become close. More than likely, I’ll be dead soon. Love is just too painful. I should know this better than anyone. I’m not going to let it happen again.
 

My feet carry me forward as I get lost in my thoughts. I’m long out of sight before I hear the turning over of the engine and Gabe driving in the opposite direction.
 

I am alone.
 

I sit in one of the courtyards of Crestwood alone, without a weapon, and I feel at peace. It is the first time in a long while that I have felt so at ease. The wind blows softly through the streets and the voices of people and children pass through the alleys and lanes without a care. But the clouds that fill the sky make me think only of the storm to come. I think of that moment when Gilbert commits a final heroic act. I just can’t see how it is all supposed to happen. I want to try and stop it, but I don’t know how. And I’m beginning to think that I won’t be able to.

I see someone to my right and I smile when I notice that it’s Ethan. He looks nice after a fresh shower. He has shaved and his dark hair is combed to the side.
 

“You look like a real gentleman,” I say.

He grins at me. “And you, Miss Waverly, look stunning as usual.”

“How are you liking your new place?” I ask.
 

“It’s not bad. Has everything I need. I’ve stayed in much worse, I can tell you that.” He sits next to me on the bench and I scoot over a few inches.

“Have you gotten to know anyone yet?” he asks.
 

I shake my head. “I’ve only talked to the supply lady. She seemed real nice. Other than that I’ve just been keeping to myself. Enjoying my freedom a bit.”

“I hear you.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’ve talked to a few people,” he says. “There was a couple that has been here about a year now. They seem to like it okay. The word around town is that someone was banished from here not too long ago. Maybe a couple of days.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I didn’t ask really.”

“Keep to ourselves and stay out of trouble,” I say. “That’s the best way to be allowed to stick around.”

“I just think it’s kind of weird,” he says. “I can’t really explain it.”

“The banishing?”

“No, just being here,” he says. “I really hope we can be a part of something. I don’t want to just survive. I’ve been surviving for the past three years. Now I want to help.”

“I’m certain that time will come,” I say. “For now, just enjoy the new freedom.”

He nods at me and smiles. “You holding up okay?”

“It’s been five days since Lucas died,” I say. “I hate it. He would have liked it here.”

“Lucas died doing a brave thing,” Ethan says. “I firmly believe that if he hadn’t done what he did, we would all be dead in that crummy little town.”

“Maybe so. I just… I don’t know. I thought things were going to be different. I thought we would survive this. I thought he and I were untouchable. He…he promised.”

“What did he promise?”

“I don’t know,” I say. I feel dumb for letting the words come out.
 

“You can tell me,” he says. “I’m not Gilbert.”

“How is he liking it?” I ask.
 

Ethan shrugs. “I haven’t really talked to him since we got here. I’m sure he’s glad to have his own place. That’s where he is all the time.” He clears his throat. “You uh…you were going to say…”