Apocalypse Cowboy: Futuristic Romance with Zombies (8 page)

What was it about having sex and sharing an intimate after-snuggle that could make a girl shy about her body?

Hannah couldn’t help but duck her head and feel her cheeks heat when Brody handed her the clothing they’d frantically discarded. Her body ached pleasantly, sated for the first time since he’d left. She could see his eyes shining with love whenever she looked at him, and the urge to tell him she still loved him sat on the tip of her tongue.

It remained unsaid. Once she’d admitted her feelings, she’d be vulnerable to him again. She’d give him the power to hurt her. A stupid argument since she knew how she felt, and if he left now, she’d still end up devastated. It didn’t change the fact that, in her mind, voicing it aloud somehow seemed more risky.

Perhaps until she could truly trust he’d stick around for good, she should pretend all she wanted was sex. No love. No strings. Just really good, heart-pounding sex.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, interrupting her thoughts.

“About how hungry I am,” she said, suddenly realizing it was the truth.

“Then it’s a good thing I brought a picnic.” Brody whisked some fruit and biscuits, along with some jam, out of the saddlebags on his bike.

“I see you’re prepared.”

“I learned early on to never leave home without some dietary basics. You never know if you’ll get overrun, or if you might have to move on a moment’s notice.”

The sober reminder had them both facing the woods, not that she feared much, given nature wasn’t quiet, from the scamper of squirrels in and out of the trees to the chirping of birds.

If there was one thing she’d learned about the virus survivors, it was that silence always preceded an attack, as if the whole world held its breath until the impure one passed by or was culled.

Despite the reminder that the world had lost its innocence, they still managed to eat in companionable silence. When done, Brody insisted she relax while he tidied up.

Hannah lounged on the blanket, dreading their eventual return back to the real world with all of the chores, but most of all, she dreaded dealing with Beth.
Beth who is chafing at our less-than-fun life. Beth who wants a man of her own. She is not going to be happy about Brody and me hooking up.
If Beth found out. Perhaps it was best Hannah kept it secret.

“I see you frowning. What are you thinking about, kitten? It doesn’t look good. Please don’t tell me you regret what we did.”

“Not exactly, but what happened between us doesn’t change anything.”

His hands stilled, and he didn’t turn to face her when he spoke. “I would have thought our making love changed several things.”

“I’ll admit I enjoyed that, and I’m not adverse to the idea of doing it again. But I’m not ready to be a couple just yet. And I definitely know that we can’t let Beth know about what happened, or we’ll have a serious meltdown on our hands.”

“Is this about you denying we care about each other, or your fear that little Beth will cause trouble? Actually, don’t answer that. I can see why you’d want to keep it from Beth for now, and that’s fine. I have no problem with waiting to announce we’re a couple. But let’s get one thing straight, kitten. If you think that you can keep me at arm’s length, then think again. I am here for the long haul. So you’d better get over this idea of yours that I’m going to leave.”

Hannah opened her mouth to retort, but before she could, he turned to her, his eyes blazing. “Don’t even think of saying anything,” he said. He gripped her hard, pulling her to him, silencing her with a fierce kiss.

When he finally let her up for air, he murmured, “I love you, Hannah. I always have. I might have been stupid once, but I’ve changed. You’ll realize that eventually.”

Then he let go of her before he walked away.

Stunned by his confession, Hannah stayed quiet as they packed the bike for the ride back home. His declaration tumbled through her mind, and she found herself seesawing wildly, her heart and common sense in a full-out war.

Her introspection lasted through a dinner of instant mashed potatoes, fried fish—so delicious—and cream corn.

Although Brody kept shooting her glances, she ignored him, regaling her family with the story of her big catch. Her overdone cheerfulness didn’t fool her Uncle Fred, who regarded her from under a thoughtful brow.

Sweet and innocent Beth chattered, oblivious to the storm brewing in Hannah’s head and heart.

Hannah still hadn’t made up her mind on what to do when later that evening her bedroom door opened and a dark shadow slipped into her room then her bed.

“You came.”

“I never want to leave.”

At his first kiss, she stopped thinking and allowed herself to just surrender to the fire he ignited with his hands, mouth, and words.

The next few days, Hannah and Brody snuck around like teenagers scared of being caught by Mom and Dad. Although in their case it was the fear of being caught by a temperamental and very hormonal Beth.

Every night Brody visited Hannah’s bed and, with his mouth swallowing her cries, pleasured her body. Even after several days of him sating her, Hannah still wanted more. Her plan to get pregnant so she’d have something to love when he left faded as he lavished her with attention. She began to believe that perhaps he spoke the truth about staying this time. He certainly seemed content with their simple life. She found herself softening to him, and despite her vow to the contrary, her trust in him blossomed.

It ended up being a good thing because otherwise she might have misconstrued what she came across.

The sound of voices—more specifically, Beth’s and Brody’s—made her creep quietly along the side of the shed. Hannah didn’t announce her presence, instead opting to listen. She refused to consider it spying, more like information gathering.

“If you’re looking for Hannah, I think she’s up at the house.” Brody’s deep voice sent a longing shiver down her spine.

“You’re the one I wanted to see,” replied Beth coyly. “It’s been so nice having a man around here, even if Hannah doesn’t seem to appreciate it. I just thought you should know that I, for one, sure do like having you here. Although it must be lonely for a
hot
guy like you. You know, I’d be more than happy to
take care
of that loneliness.”

Hannah’s gut twisted. She couldn’t help a jealous rage at her sister for hitting on Brody. Beth didn’t know they were a couple, and that was Hannah’s fault. But there was more to her anger than just jealousy. She couldn’t help the hurt that her sister would hit on the one man, the
only
man, Hannah had ever and still did love.

Maybe we should have told her the truth.

“Listen, Beth, you’re a nice girl but—” Brody’s words seemed to be abruptly cut off.

Hannah couldn’t stop herself. She whipped around the corner of the shed and caught them kissing or, more accurately, Beth trying to kiss Brody. To his credit, Brody was shaking his head and attempting to push her gently away, but Beth kept trying to wrap herself around him.

Hannah gasped. Instantly Brody’s eyes met hers and filled with panic. He firmly pushed Beth away, causing her to stumble.

“Bethany Anne Winters, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Hannah’s voice emerged low and rife with shock. She knew who the guilty party here was.
It’s my fault for letting Beth think Brody and I aren’t involved.

Beth turned around and brazenly smirked at her. “Just because you don’t want him doesn’t mean I don’t. I have no intention of being an old maid like you. I want a family, and I want to get out of here. Brody can take me.”

“I’m sorry, Beth. You’re a nice girl, but you’re like a little sister to me. I still love Hannah, and I haven’t given up hope that she’ll return that love.”

His words turned Beth back into the young girl she was. “But she hates you,” was Beth’s petulant reply.

“I’m hoping to change her mind about that.”

Beth’s eyes filled with tears, but her words were scathing. “I hate it here. And I hate you! Both of you!” she screamed before running back to the house.

“I’m sorry that happened.” Hannah twisted her hands. “This is my fault.”

“Yes it is.”

She winced, as Brody didn’t spare her. “What should I do?

“What we should have done in the first place. Let Beth know that we’re together.”

“She’s going to freak.”

“She already has, but she deserves the truth. It can’t be easy for her. I remember how I felt before coming back here.  The loneliness. The desperation before we found each other again.”

“I’ll go talk to her.” With her teeth gnawing her lower lip in worry, Hannah followed her sister. Funny how the truth had a way of getting out. Brody was right. Even if the cat was out of the bag, she needed to clear the air with her sister.

She caught up to Beth at the house. “I think we need to talk,” she said to Beth’s rigid back.

“There’s nothing to say.”

“Oh really?” Hannah felt the ire from seeing her sister mauling Brody all over again. “How about we start with your behavior with Brody?”

“That’s none of your damn business,” snapped her sister as she whirled around. “All this time, you made it pretty clear you don’t want him. Except it was all an act. All this time you’ve been laughing at me. Poor Bethie. She won’t ever have a man. Or a life. Or a family.”

“I didn’t do this on purpose. The virus took those choices away.”

“And you made sure we didn’t find any other options. You and your determination to live in this hellhole. You want to know why I threw myself at Brody? Because I want out of here. And since you won’t even contemplate facing the world, then he’s my only chance for getting out of here.”

“It’s dangerous out there, Bethie.”

“So dangerous and yet you keep going out on supply runs and coming back. Brody made it across the country. I get that it’s not a walk in the damn park, but I’m going to die of desperation, not to mention as an old maid, if I stay here.”

“There’s no guarantee if we leave that we’ll find anyone for you.”

“Well, we sure as hell won’t find me someone if we stay here. Just because you got lucky and had an old boyfriend look you up doesn’t mean the same will happen for me. I want out. Either we go together, or dammit, I will go by myself.”

“You don’t mean that, Beth.”

Judging by the pursed lips and flashing eyes, her little sister did.

Hannah sighed. “I want you to find someone you can be happy with, but before we go off half-cocked, we at least need a plan. A proper direction.”

“Blah, blah, blah,” said Beth, rolling her eyes. “You and your nitpicking details. Fine. You go ahead and pretend to plan. But, in the meantime, if I want to flirt with Brody, I will. I really don’t care if he still cares for you. You obviously don’t feel the same, or you wouldn’t keep him at arm’s length.”

“You can’t have Brody.” The words and their possessive tone slipped out of their own volition.

Beth opened her mouth to reply, and then her eyes widened. “Oh my god, you’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

“Watch your language, young lady.”

“Stuff it. You’re not my mother. And you didn’t answer me. Are you sleeping with Brody?”

Hannah could see the storm brewing in her sister’s eyes, but she nodded anyway.

“Unfuckingbelievable. No wonder you don’t want me hitting on him. You’re already banging him. When were you going to tell me? Huh?” Beth raged, and Hannah let her, knowing she had a right. “God, I am so fucking stupid.”

Beth’s foul language sounded so crude, and Hannah winced. She might be used to her sister’s temper, but she’d never seen her lose it like this.

“I’m sorry, Beth. I promise, we’re going to take a road trip as soon as we can find a way for all of us to—”

“Like I’ll believe you. You and this stupid house and town. We should have left as soon as we realized everyone was dead. But oh no, we can’t because Hannah’s afraid of the big, wide world.” Beth’s tone and words mocked her. Hannah cringed at the pent-up bitterness her sister spewed. “Let’s hide here in the house we grew up in because god fucking forbid you should leave your safety blanket.”

Hannah couldn’t help herself. She flinched.
I am not afraid to leave. I happen to like it here. Why is it I’m the only one who does?
“I’m sorry you feel that way. I promise we’ll find somewhere with people for you. I want you to be happy, Beth.” Hannah’s voice broke.

“Don’t bother. I don’t want your help.” Beth pushed past Hannah, almost running into Fred in his wheelchair.

“Whoa, girl, where are you going so fast?” asked their uncle.

“Nowhere apparently,” Beth said bitterly before disappearing from sight.

Fred turned to look at Hannah with his brows raised. “What the heck was that about?”

“Beth found out Brody and I are involved and freaked. I don’t blame her.” She ducked her head in sorrow, waiting for Fred’s rebuke.

“About time you and Brody patched things up. As for Beth, she’ll get over it. You always did coddle her too much. You’ve done the best you could, Hannah girl, and don’t you forget it.”

“She just wants someone to love. I can’t blame her. And I want to give her what she wants. She’s right. I am chicken to leave home. I don’t know anything else.”

Fred snorted. “Beth’s just impatient. She doesn’t understand that some things have to be taken slowly. The girl is young yet. A few more weeks or months ain’t gonna kill her. Don’t you let what she says bother you none. There’s nothing wrong with loving one’s home. Don’t forget, just because we go on a trip or even if we find somewhere that’s better for us, doesn’t mean we can’t come back.”

Hannah smiled at her uncle. He always had the right words. “Yeah, I know. I love you, Uncle Fred.”

“I love you, too. Now stop this pity business and hold yourself straight. Beth will get over it.”

I sure hope so. I’ve never seen her this mad.

But Beth didn’t get over it. She acted impulsively as usual, something Hannah realized only when they couldn’t find Beth the next morning and discovered Brody’s motorcycle missing.