Apophis (35 page)

I sucked in a sharp breath through my nose and the pain in my leg dulled, but was still very much present.  And at that moment, over the wood smoke and scent of stale, boarded up air, I smelled it.  I smelled
her.

“Nora?”

The dark figure halted at the top of the staircase.  “Sammy?”

With some effort I righted myself and took a ginger step forward.  The pain in my left leg re-awoken. “Hi,” I managed to choke out.

“Oh my God.”  There was a noisy clatter of something heavy and metal hitting the floor and then she was rushing across the length of the room and enveloping me in a tight embrace.

“It’s you,” she breathed, pressing her face into my neck.  “You’re really here.”  Her fingers twirled around the hair at the base of my neck.  She pulled back just slightly.  “
How
are you here?”

I lifted my shoulders and let them fall.  “I had a hunch you’d be here.”

Her beautiful, delicate features crumpled. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“How did you find this place again?”

“I followed the road.”

She slugged me in the arm, hitting my bicep.  “Hey! What was that for?” I complained.  I rubbed my arm.  First my shin and now my arm.

“I told you once before not to play hero,” she scolded. “What were you thinking coming after me like that?  You’re not here to bring me back, are you?  Because I’m
not
going back there.”

“No.  That’s not why I’m here.”  I stroked my thumbs along her warm cheekbones, mapping her features without really being able to see her face in the dark.  “What did you hit me with?”

Her hold around my waist loosened.  “Shit.  It was a golf club I found in the closet.”

“You’ve got a wicked swing, girl.”

“Are you okay?” she worried, tugging her lower lip into her mouth.

I put all my weight on my left leg and gave a little bounce.  The leg held with only a ghost of an ache.  “I’ll survive,” I decided.

She pulled all the way back and I instantly missed the closeness.  She eyed me curiously.  “Are you just checking in on me?  Because I can take care of myself, you know.  I made a fire in the woodstove and I remembered to sweep away my footprints leading up to the cottage.”

The way she continued to stubbornly insist her independence and self-reliance was endearing.

“You forgot to lock the front door,” I pointed out.

“I know.”  Her eyes dipped demurely.  “I realized my mistake the moment I heard someone coming up the stairs.”

I tweaked her nose affectionately, not really knowing what to do with my hands or how to show her I was beyond happy that I’d found her.  I didn’t know where we stood even if she’d given me a tight hug in lieu of a verbal hello.

“I’ll be right back.”  I realized I’d forgotten to lock the front door, too.  I turned and hobbled down the stairs, using one of the banisters to keep the full weight off of my injured leg.  I didn’t think she’d seriously hurt me, no bone fractures or anything, but there’d certainly be a raised welt on my shin in the morning. 

I latched the two locks on the front door. The locks couldn’t protect us from other people – my mother’s death was proof of that – but it gave me a slight reassurance of safety nonetheless.

When I went back upstairs, Nora was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at her stocking feet.

“All locked up,” I announced. “Safe as houses.” I’d never understood that saying.  I still didn’t.

“Why did you leave West Genesis, Sam?”

“I missed eating squirrel.”

A frown marred her beautiful face, and I wiped the nervous grin from my own.

“I missed you,” I said.

Her eyebrows lifted. “You did?”

I chewed on the inside of my lip, afraid to say more. If she rejected me, should I leave? Would it ruin our arrangement and we’d live out our days in awkwardness?

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know how you feel about me, but I’ve grown fond of you.”

“Grown fond of me?” she mimicked. “People don’t talk like that, Sam.”

I swallowed the lump lodged in my throat. “But I do,” I rasped. “My dad is gone. I’ve made my peace with that.  I’ll probably never find out what happened to him – if the people of Hot Springs killed him, if he escaped but died on the road, or if he’s still alive and surviving the best he can like us.  I can’t continue to live in the past. My family is gone and Andrea could never love me the way I deserve to be loved.”

Nora’s eyebrows rose even higher on her forehead. I think this was the most I’d ever said in one sitting. Ever. I was out of my element.

“I’m-I’m hoping that maybe you feel the same way,” I continued, awkward in my phrasing, “and that you don’t just want me around because I’m a warm body and I can make a fire.”

She blinked once. “I’ve got a quilt and I can make a fire by myself.”

“So what does that mean?” I pressed.  Did that mean she no longer needed me?

“It means I’ve grown fond of you, too, Fargo.”

“But you left me.” How could she say those words to me when her recent actions spoke louder?

“I know.”

“I woke up and you were gone. No goodbye. Not even a letter, explaining yourself.”

She remained silent, eyes downcast.

“It made me feel worthless,” I continued, picking up steam. “Like you didn’t care enough about me to bother saying goodbye.”

“I’m so sorry, Sammy,” she hushed. She cradled my face in her hands and her thumbs stroked over my cheekbones comfortingly.  “I hate goodbyes.  And I couldn’t make you choose between me or your dad,” she said, searching my face. “Between survival in Eden or uncertainty on the road with me.”

“You should have let me make that decision for myself rather than you making it for me,” I grumbled.

She gave me a lopsided smile. Her thumbs continued that comforting motion. “I can’t believe you gave up West Genesis for me.”

“Hey now.” I tried to pull away. “Don’t get cocky.”

She grabbed my face again and pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss.  I moaned at how soft and sweet she was. This girl had a singular talent for making me forget that I was supposed to be mad at her.

+++++

I laid there awake, with Nora lightly snoring and using my chest as a pillow, for a long while.  I absently stroked her soft hair, twirling the short locks around my fingers and gently moving the tips of my fingers against her scalp.  I let my mind wander dangerously onto thoughts about what might happen to the two of us all alone out here.

I could hunt and there was enough wood to burn in the surrounding area to live comfortably for a few months.
 We never had to worry about water because of all the snow, but this couldn’t be a permanent solution. We couldn’t last, especially as the years dragged on and it became colder and colder.  It was lucky that Nora had a degree in sustainability, but she herself had lamented it was only so useful when given primitive tools.  This cottage we’d found was the essence of primitive. I doubted it ever had electricity even before Apophis. Realistically the perfect place for Nora and her educational skill-set would be Hot Springs, but I knew she would never agree to that.  Neither would I.

“You’re still awake?” Nora’s voice was heavy with sleep. She pulled herself up and leaned on one elbow to gaze over at me.

I brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.  She smiled sleepily and leaned into my touch.

“Sorry.  Did I wake you up?”

She shut her eyes and shook her head. Her loose blonde hair fluttered around her face. “No.  But you should get some sleep, hun.”

I felt a tug inside my chest at the small endearment. “Maybe I just want to watch you sleep.”

“Creeper,” she teased.  

My eyes fluttered when she traced her fingers along the tattoo on my hip.
 She dragged the pad of her index finger along the dark lines.

“Tell me about this.”

I would have been content to let her keep touching me without need for conversation, but she clearly had other ideas.

“It’s a bird on a string,” I said. My breath hitched when her fingertips traveled dangerously close to a more intimate area, but then they returned to their previous innocent spot on my hip.

“I can see that,” she said, lightly swatting at me. “But what does it mean? Why did you get it?”

“It’s stupid. I was 18,” I said, as if that answer alone would satisfy her.  I should have known better by now.

Nora frowned and removed her hand from my hip. “You’re not very good at telling stories.”

I grabbed her hand and put it back on my tattoo.
 I’d tell her whatever she wanted to know as long as she kept touching me. “It represents the need to be free from constraints.”

Her fingertips resumed their dance along my skin.
 

“I love my family, but I was never able to be myself around them. They never would have accepted me if I...” I trailed off.

Nora’s hand paused, but she didn’t remove it completely. “If you what?”

I bit my lower lip. I had never said the words out loud before. “If I had told them I was gay.”

Nora didn’t blink. “You should have. Maybe they would have surprised you.”

I sincerely doubted that, but there was no point arguing about it with Nora. My parents wouldn’t have done something extreme like disowned me or thrown me out of the house, but they would have never been okay with it.
 If I’d told them, they probably would have denied it and then we never would have talked about it ever again.

“Did your parents...I mean, did
you
ever...” I stumbled over my words.  I didn’t want to assume she self-identified as anything.

“I never talked to them about relationship stuff.  But even if I had told them I liked girls, my mom would have turned it into all about herself – like me being gay was my way of punishing her or something.” Nora made a face. “But seriously Sam, if you don’t go to sleep right this moment, my feelings are going to be hurt.”

“And why is that?”

A small smile curled her lips up. “Because if you’re not exhausted, I didn’t do a good enough job on you.”

“Oh, I’m tired all right,” I reassured her. “I'd be surprised if my legs actually still work.”

My response seemed to satisfy her, so she planted a near-chaste kiss on my mouth before rolling over in bed.  She wiggled backwards until her backside was curled into my side.  Then she grabbed my arm furthest away from her so she could rotate me onto my side as well and drape my arm across her midsection.  She had just bossy-spooned me.

I let all of my concerns for the future slip away as she curled back into me.  I would worry about it tomorrow. I nuzzled my nose against the back of her head and inhaled.

“Are you smelling me?” The first time she’d asked me that question, her tone had been cold and hostile. Now, however, I heard only mirth.

I took another deep breath, no longer hiding it. “Yes. Yes I am.”

+++++

FIN

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Eliza Lentzski is the author of lesbian fiction, romance, and erotica novels including
Winter Jacket, Second Chances, Date Night, Diary of a Human, Love, Lust, & Other Mistakes
, and the forthcoming
Bittersweet Homecoming
(Spring 2014)
.
Although a historian by day, Eliza is passionate about fiction.  She calls the Midwest her home along with her partner and their cat and turtle. 

Follow her on Twitter, @ElizaLentzski, and Like her on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/elizalentzski) for updates and exclusive previews of future original releases.