arbitrate (daynight) (45 page)

“Sorry, Ethan, but that’s not the case. I know I said I hadn’t met Kira before, but technically that isn’t true.”

“You lied? I thought you couldn’t lie!” I purse my lips and strain to keep from attacking him.

“I…bent the truth. I hadn’t met her…in Garden City.”

“When? When did you meet her?”

He stares down at his feet for a moment before having the guts to meet my eye. “You’re not going to like this…”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Blake

The deafening sound…

…mixes with pain…

…endless pain…

…until there isn’t…

Darkness replaces it…

…lots of darkness…

…thick…

…heavy…

…foreboding…

I let it take me…

…further…

…and further…

…swirling…

…forward…

Then in the distance…

…a drop…

…then a splotch…

…then a flood…

…of light…

I am here…

…but where?

…but how?

…but why?

And then…

…my eyes open…

“Welcome to Aether.”

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decision that can change your life forever.”

—Keri Russell
 

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Kira

The Genitor smiles at me.
Then he holds out his hand and creates a chocolate and vanilla swirl ice cream cone from scratch. He licks it along the base of the cone, turning it into a big mushroom. I let him enjoy his treat even though I can’t understand how he can eat when there are two bodies being decimated nearby. What did he mean that
I
caused time to stop?

The events of the previous few minutes run through my mind. I ponder everything that happened and vividly remember thinking, “Stop this.”

And then I know. Everything becomes clear. I willed it to happen.

I am a Genitor.

How?

B continues to lick his cone and speak to my mind. “It’s a funny thing that the SCI searched so long and hard for a pure Light…given that those of pure Light are Genitors by design. It is rare that a Genitor is placed on Earth.”

It’s hard to absorb everything that he’s saying because at this point, he has ice cream everywhere—eyelashes, forehead, nose, and all over his mouth. He smashes the cone onto his face, making an enormous chocolate mustache. Goofy kid.

Why was I placed on Earth? Why did my parents abandon me?
 

He has moved on to constructing a beard, now, which messily drips all over his lap. I wonder if he can concoct a hose to clean himself off with. “Every Genitor must face a series of tests and trials before they are able to access their abilities. They must be worthy. They must be willing to sacrifice everything. They must do it on their own. You just had a more interesting path to follow than most. Every experience you had with the SCI was part of your test. Comparatively, your parents only had to give you up for eighteen years.”

You make that sound like a short blip in time. That’s my whole life!
 

“It all depends on your perspective I suppose.” The cone disappears and a large, wet washcloth appears in his hand, and he starts to scrub himself with it. “Good?” He shows me his half-clean face. I shake my head and laugh, so he keeps scrubbing. When he gets a thumbs up from me, the washcloth disappears.

What about the babies? What are they?

Now that his hands and face are clean, he seems bored. “Strangely, despite having mixed blood, they appear like they will take after you. My guess is that’s your gift.”

Gift?

“Yes, based on the duration and magnitude of the trial, each Genitor is given a gift unique to them.”

And I can breed a bunch of Genitors?

He hunches his shoulders and looks down at a non-existent watch. “What do I know? I’m only eight. But I’m pretty sure they’re Genitors.”

What will happen to all these babies?

“They’ll each be tended to until it is their time to be tested.”

I stare at the boy with the curious eyes and wonder what trials he had to endure to gain his powers.
 

“I can’t say.”

Can you tell me your name at least?

“Are you ready to hear?”

I don’t know. But I want you to tell me anyway.

“Blake.”

Wait? What? Blake? Why do you have his name?
I point at Blake’s decimated body.

“My mother named me after him…in memory of him. She considered him a hero.”

How? You’re eight. He died less than five minutes ago.

“Where I am from time is…different. Typically, we only appear in other realms in the equivalent time to prevent…confusion. However, an exception was made to let me come now.”

I stare at Blake’s body, wondering what will happen to him.

“Don’t worry about him. Great rewards are bestowed upon those who make the ultimate sacrifice.” The expression is one I have seen before.

A thought percolates…why the boy has always been so familiar…why I have felt so comfortable around him even while he was doing terrifying things… No.
Impossible
.
 
Yet…who else would name their child after Blake…in memory of him?

Am
I
your mother?

He comes over and kisses me on the cheek. “And a great one at that. I must go. Finish this.”

I grab onto his arm. “Wait. How? Are you one of these babies? I’m confused.”

He winks. “Nope. I come later. I’m their
little
brother.”

Then he vanishes into thin air.

I can’t stop the tears from falling.
It’s too much. Too much.
But I must. After I place another kiss atop Blake and Madison, I walk to the center of the platform.
 

PROTECT US.

A protective, clear umbrella envelops the platform. Time restarts. I watch as the explosion beneath Blake and Madison finishes, leaving no part of them to identify. Then another bomb detonates in the field in the distance. Shortly thereafter, the bomb that had been strapped to me explodes.

And then I watch the mega-portal implode. Despite it collapsing in on itself, debris and shrapnel still fly in every direction. Some pieces reach the protective shield I’ve put up, but none infiltrate. I see a flash of blonde hair go down as a flying boulder hits. When the last shards have fallen, I walk through the babies and hold my hand against the glass encasing their parents.
 

BE FREE.

The glass disappears. My shield disappears. And my former friends rush to claim their babies.

Bri and Tristan approach me, the boy clinging to Bri. “Thank you. I don’t understand what happened, but thank you.”

“I don’t either. Take good care of him. He’s precious. He’s lucky to have a father that loved…loves him.”

Delaying my departure will only make things harder. I give them each a hug and walk away from my children, as I know I must.
 

The breeze rushes against
me, and I enjoy the feel of the sun beating down on me. My tears have dried, but my sorrow persists. I figure that I have earned the right to mourn. People often use the saying, “Things can change in an instant.” I think of the instances where this has held true for me.

Finding Briella and Tristan kissing at the Winter Formal after-party.

Meeting Ethan.

The explosion that killed my friends.

Signing the dotted line on The Second Chance Institute Recruit Contract.

Being paired with Blake as a Recruit partner.

Finding out that Blake knew about, but didn’t warn me about, the SCI; that he’d grown up on Thera in Exile.

Blake choosing to leave me in the flash flood, just to get his father a message.

Ethan being assigned to take me home to Earth.

My “parents” being killed before my eyes.

Learning that my eggs were used to create embryos and implanted in my friends, and that both Ethan and Blake were the fathers.

Blake choosing to be Exiled over the possibility of being Cleaved to me.

My Cleaving to Ethan.

The lab rape, where embryos were implanted in me.

Being separated from Ethan.

Leaving Garden City on a boat with Jax.

Every attempt at my life.

Being cut open and having my son stolen from me.

The moment I asked Jax not to tell Ethan I was alive.

I get stuck on this last one because it was a decision that
I
made and not something that was beyond my control. Sure, I’d signed up for the SCI, but only after they’d manipulated my circumstances to the point that I thought it was my only option.
 

It occurs to me that every decision made in life leads us down a path. The number of decision trees, paths, and possibilities are endless. That small choice I made in the name of self-preservation changed
everything
. Every choice has consequences. Some positive, some negative. Many times we get a smattering of both.

Ethan chose to move on with Alexa.

When Ethan returned, he chose to be angry, instead of happy, to see me.
 

He chose to threaten Jax’s life.

In return, I chose to ask for our Cleaving to be dissolved.

The list goes on and on—of choices we made, choices made for us, and things that simply happened.

Now, I have made
the
choice…one I know will impact the rest of my life. I know who I want to spend forever with, who I want to raise my children with. This time, I’m not letting anyone else make the choice for me. It was hard to confront all the “what ifs” and “could have beens” and choose to move on, but I had to, and I have. I move my legs with the wind, at peace with my decision.

“I bet I can go higher.” I look down and smile down at the boy-turned-man with messy, blond hair who has settled into the swing next to me. His legs are bigger and stronger now, and it takes him no time at all to approach my height. Just before he overtakes me, he slows and let’s himself drift back to the ground, laughing the entire time.
 

“I win,” I yell to him, but I stop moving my legs and let myself float down.
 

“Bet you can’t catch me.” He winks at me and runs off. I jump off the swing and chase after him. He climbs the play structure and awkwardly slips down the slide, landing with a thunk. He picks himself back up and jogs towards the grass.

I enjoy my ride down the slide and sprint after him. He pretends to twist an ankle and rolls onto the ground. I collapse on top of him, trapping him beneath me. “I caught you.”

“I wanted you to.” He repositions me, so that I’m straddling him and stares into my eyes. “You know…you should be my friend…my best friend…and mine.”

“Why would I want to be friends with a boy?” I tease.
 

He laughs. “Because I’m a cool boy. And, I’m going to keep all the other boys away from you, including the not-so-cool boys…forever.”

“Fine, I will be your friend…your best friend…and yours. But only if you keep the other boys away…forever.”

“Always, love. I promise.” He licks his lips and gazes greedily at mine. “However, this time around, we’re going to have to seal the deal with a kiss. And a ceremony…but first things first. Do you remember what I told you about that kiss? It comes with terms and conditions of its own.” He smiles, his dimples reflecting the sun, and I know I made the right decision. I’m ready to be his, forever.

I lean in and touch my forehead and nose to his. “I love you, Jax.”

“Even if I’m just a lowly Arbiter, and you’re a great and powerful Genitor?”

I chuckle because I still feel like a lowly girl and not the least bit great and powerful. “Even so. Especially so.”

There are worse things than falling in love with your best friend. Jax is the one I can’t do without—at least not well. He’s perfect for me.

He doesn't tell me it will be okay when everything is falling apart. Instead, he forces me to get up and keep living.
 

He has never asked me to change for him. Rather, he pushes me to be the best version of myself. He’s able to compromise, meet me halfway.
 

He sticks around when things get hard. He’s willing to work to fix things. And willing to back off when I need space but still be within arm’s reach.

He is patient. He never once pushed. He waited for me to be ready and let me come to my own conclusions.

He believes in me.

He accepts every part of me, including all my children. He is such a great dad. He treats Evvie, Zander, and Aiden equally. He doesn’t get upset when Ethan is there with Zander…he just focuses on the other two.

Not everyone is going to be a great dad, but they can be a great person. Blake lived for his cause and continually chose it over me and over Aiden, but, in the end, he gave his own life to save his children. And I will be grateful to him forever for it. I will always think of him as a hero.

Not every love is strong enough to survive separation and change and heartache and death. Ethan and I never had the chance to build a solid foundation, and, so, everything crumbled when we were kept apart. We had spent all of a few weeks total together, most of that as friends—compared to a full year apart. Then I chose to keep him in the dark and he chose to move on. And when all was said and done, we couldn’t recover from our choices.
 

I think there was a reason I didn’t want to choose—couldn’t choose—between Blake and Ethan. On the night of my Cleaving, I wasn’t ready to commit to either of them. I couldn’t pick because neither of them were quite right for me. If either had been “the one,” I wouldn’t have given the other one a shot. When someone means everything to you, you don’t take notice of anyone else.
 

Despite my growing feelings for Jax, I felt obligated to try to make things work with Ethan. I’d made a serious commitment to him—even if it was forced. But the more I tried to make it fit, it didn’t. And when Ethan kissed me at the Clean Slate Complex, it felt completely wrong—a desperate attempt to hold on to something that was no longer there. I felt no love from him nor love for him. At least not the right kind of love. I knew then that all I wanted—all I needed—was Jax, the guy who
showed
me every day how much he loved me. Jax knows that love requires action—and not just the action of saying, “I love you.”