Archaic (16 page)

I froze, feeling my heart speed up.

"I'll call you when I'm finished and we'll finish this later," he said.

Unable to form words, I nodded my head. Fear held me in a tight grip.

He studied me for a few seconds, his expression unreadable, before he strode out of my bedroom, leaving me alone.

No, no, no!
It couldn't be possible.

Any hope that I wasn't changing into a Hue evaporated in that moment. The clearing, that hadn't been the Hue--it had been me. If they thought it was Hue energy, that meant my worse fear was becoming a reality.

I was becoming a Hue.

I put a hand to my chest as my heart hammered so hard it felt like it was going to explode from my chest. I needed to calm down. Breathing in a deep breath, I held it for a few moments before releasing it.

Thoughts of Jared and what had just happened between us got pushed to the back of my mind as I concentrated on the bigger problem. I couldn't think about our kiss when I was worried about what he'd do when he figured out the person responsible for the energy in the clearing was me.

I began to pace the length of my room, trying to figure out what I was going to say or do when Jared turned up on my doorstep with questions. What was I going to do? Would they discover that I was the source of the energy in the clearing? Would they find out I was turning into a Hue, the enemy? And if they did, would they kill me?

I closed my eyes and a memory of Mason flashed through my mind, his black, empty eyes and his cruel smile. If that was what I was becoming, then Jared and the rest of the Archaic would hate me. I honestly doubted that Mason would try and kill me again when I was turning into a Hue like him. I didn't need protection from the Hue; if I was becoming like Mason, they would need protecting from me.

Jared was convinced Mason would be back for me. Would it be to integrate me into my new life as a Hue? So many questions raced through my mind, one after the other. I pressed my palm to my head to ease the growing headache from my panic.

Would there be a way to stop it? The worst-case scenario was that I was going to become exactly like Mason--an unfeeling monster. I didn't want that to happen, but I hadn't figured out how to stop it if it came to that.

I wouldn't be able to keep it from the Archaic forever but I had a reprieve for the moment. And I needed that time to figure out what I was going to do. If I had any hope of keeping Jared in the dark about my secret, I needed to spend less time around him and keep him at arm's length.

I thought about our kiss. My lips still felt the pressure of his lips against mine. I swallowed the emotion that the memory of the kiss pulled from me. Did the kiss mean something? Remembering his features when he'd pulled away from me, I knew it had affected him in some way.

Shaking myself mentally, I reminded myself that once he found out what I was turning into, it wouldn't matter. Sitting on my bed deep in thought, I tried to figure out how to keep him at a distance. After the attack, the guilt had pushed him to watch over me, but I needed to stop his watching; otherwise, he'd discover my secret before I could figure out what to do.

My phone started to ring. I knew who it was before I looked. Hesitating for a moment to gather my nerves, I answered the call.

"Sorry. It took us longer than expected to investigate," Jared told me.

"It's okay."

An uncomfortable silence settled between us and I had no idea what to say to break it.

"We need to talk," he said. His voice was serious.

Had he figured out it was me? Or was this to talk about the kiss? My instincts told me that if he'd discovered the Hue energy belonged to me he would have come directly to my house. I had a feeling this talk would have something to do with the kiss.

"Can I come over?" he asked.

I swallowed my nervousness.

"Sure," I answered, sounding a little breathless.

I couldn't hide. I had to face him.

My mind was already coming up with ways to keep him at bay. It didn't matter how much I'd wanted that kiss, or how much I wanted him. None of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was keeping him at a distance, which was going to be difficult if he insisted on driving me to school and back every day.

It wasn't long before there was a knock at my front door and I opened it. My stomach flipped at the sight of him, and the memory of my reaction to his kiss tingled through me.

"You going to invite me in?" he asked, pulling me out of my deep thoughts.

"Yes...come in," I said, feeling my nerves return in full force.

He stepped into my house and I closed the door.

Turning to face him, I got the full impact of his dark green eyes that looked at me as if they could see right through to my soul. Did he know I was hiding something?

I led him into the living room. Anne was going to be home soon and I didn't want her coming home and finding Jared in my room. I didn't want to have to field those questions. I sat down on the couch, my body angled to face him. He sat down beside me.

"Did you find the Hue?"

He shook his head. His dark hair fell across his forehead and he pulled his hand through his hair.

"No."

Relief flooded through me, but it was short lived, as I noticed the way Jared's eyes held mine. Intense and dark.

It was hard to think when he was looking at me like that.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, not wanting to bring up the kiss in case he wanted to talk about something else.

"I want to talk about what happened before Danny called me," he revealed.

I clasped my hands together so that he couldn't see them shake.

"I won't do it again," I said and he looked at me a little puzzled. "I won't go out after school."

A ghost of a smile tipped his mouth as he shook his head.

"I've learned my lesson," I continued to babble. "Really, I never intended to worr--"

He cut me off by leaning closer and reaching to cup my face. He held me close and I stopped talking midsentence while staring into his beautiful eyes. My conscience told me to pull away and put him at a distance, but I didn't want to. I wanted to be kissed by him one more time, just one more time.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

In that moment just before he kissed me, I felt a shift inside. His eyes held mine for a few seconds before they rested on my lips. A numbness set in, draining all the swirling emotions inside of me. By the time his mouth touched mine, I felt nothing.

I put a hand up to his chest and pushed him away.

"Don't," I said in a calm, detached voice, my hand still against his chest.

His forehead creased as his eyes narrowed.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a frown. I pulled my hand away from him.

I should have felt nervous or guilty for what I was going to do, but I didn't. For some reason I felt nothing and that made the next step so much easier.

"We shouldn't have kissed," I explained, my tone calm and even.

"Really?" he asked, looking more perplexed.

"Yes," I assured him, shifting a little away from him. His eyes took in the action and his frown deepened.

With no emotions to contend with, I was able to follow my logical thinking from before. To keep my secret I had to keep my distance from him, and that couldn't happen if there was something going on between us. Besides, what would be the purpose in allowing him to get closer to me when in the end I wasn't sure how much time I still had before I became a Hue?

"What happened earlier shouldn't have happened," I stated to him. I didn't blink.

His eyebrows rose slightly with surprise, and then he crossed his arms.

"It shouldn't have happened," I reiterated.

"Why not?" he asked as he cocked his head to the side.

"I'm not interested in you," I lied. It was a good thing I couldn't feel emotions right then, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to lie so well.

"Okay." His eyes narrowed and he rubbed his jaw. "Then why did you kiss me before?" he asked, his hard eyes watching me.

"I got caught up in the moment," I answered with a shrug. I had no way to explain why I was not feeling anything, but I was grateful because it would have been so much harder if I'd felt the guilt of hurting him. His jaw twitched, his anger brewing just beneath the surface.

"I don't believe you," he told me with his features void of any emotion, like a poker face. His eyes searched mine for answers, but there were none. There were no hidden secrets in the depths of my eyes.

"Why is it so unbelievable?" I asked, holding his gaze.

"I felt your response," he replied.

"So what? I kissed you back. That doesn't mean I want more."

If my emotions had returned at that moment I would have been so screwed, because without the veil of nothingness inside me I wouldn't have been able to continue with the lies. He would have been able to see the truth on my face.

He studied me for a moment before he stood up.

"Then I suppose we have nothing more to talk about," he said, his expression reserved.

The first part of keeping him at a distance had been implemented well. Now for the second part.

"I don't need you to take me to school in the mornings, or give me a lift home in the afternoons," I told him.

"Irrespective of how you feel about me, your safety is still my responsibility," he told me in a detached tone. Responsibility. So that was what I was now: a responsibility.

"I'll be perfectly fine."

Why would Mason want to harm me now that I was becoming like him? I doubted it.

"No. You're still in danger."

I considered his response for a moment, trying to figure out an alternative to being in close proximity to him in his car. I could ask if one of the other Archaic could take me instead, but I felt that would just raise more questions for him and it still didn't really help. The other Archaic could also figure it out.

"I'll get a lift to and from school with a friend," I said, trying to find a way get him to agree to what I wanted.

"Like who?"

It was too far out to ask Stacy, but I was sure that if I asked Andrew, who lived a little closer, he would.

"Andrew."

His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. He didn't like that answer.

"Fine," he said tightly, "just remember, no after-school activities."

He turned around and left me standing alone. The door slammed closed--he had left.

That had gone better than I'd expected.

I went to my room. As soon as I closed my bedroom door, I began to feel my emotions flood through me. I leaned against my door and then slid down to the floor as my heartbreak and guilt overwhelmed me. Feeling awful that I'd done that to him, I dropped my head into my hands. I'd hurt him. There was no way I would have been able to do what I had if I hadn't been in an emotionless state. My emotions were back now, though, and I felt crappy.

Anne was due home any minute and I still had to call Andrew and ask him if he could give me a ride to and from school. Nervously I got my phone and pushed the call button before I could change my mind.

"Hi," he answered after a couple of rings.

"Hey," I greeted back, my insides knotted. I was nervous about how I was going to explain this so that Andrew would help me.

"What's up?" he asked casually.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Would you be able to give me a lift to school and back for a few days?" I asked before I chickened out.

There was a pause.

"Sure," he answered.

I'd expected him to ask more questions or to hesitate slightly but he hadn't.

"Is everything okay?" he asked when I didn't respond straight away.

"Everything's fine."

I wanted to give him an explanation, but I couldn't.

"If something's going on, you can talk to me, you know that," he said.

I bit down on my lip as I felt his words touch the part of me that had felt so alone. He was a good friend, but this wasn't something that was mine to share.

"Yes, I know. Thanks."

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning."

When I ended the call I heard Anne get home. Supper that night was some leftovers.

Later that evening I was relieved when I finished eating supper and I could escape to my room. The guilt of lying to Jared was eating away at me. Every time I closed my eyes I could see his eyes searching my features to explain why I was acting so differently.

It was the first time I thought about what had come over me. It was like I'd been unable to feel any emotion for the short time I'd talked to Jared. If there had been any doubts of what I was turning into, that would have cemented the idea that I was indeed becoming a Hue.

Physically and mentally tired, I had a shower and got dressed. I slipped into my bed. On my side hugging a pillow tight, I began to think about how long I still had before the change was complete.