Authors: Devin Morgan
“What I see, Sarah, is you.” His words came from somewhere deep in his subconscious
mind, nothing logical or mundane. ”Every minute of every day, I see you.” He took
her hands in his. “Without you, I wouldn’t care about any of this. Without you, I
would be alone. You’ve changed my life.”
She pulled her hands away. “No, it isn’t me. It’s you. You’ve done the work.” Her
heart pounded in her chest as she felt the warm spot where he touched her skin. She
stood facing the window. “You’re like a little brother to me.” The words caught in
her throat. She felt so much more than that for this young man but could never admit
it to herself or to him. She couldn’t explain her feelings for Carlos but she thought
they were somehow connected to the strange way she was drawn to Aris, a vampire from
a distant past.
He rose and crossed the room to stand by her side. “Is that what you really feel for
me?”
“Yes, you are like family to me.” She met his eyes for an instant. “I care what happens
to you.”
He reached for her and she turned quickly, stepping away from him, putting space between
them.
“Now,” she looked at her watch as he took a tentative step toward her, “you had better
go. It’s almost time for my next appointment. I’ll see you next Friday.”
“And I promise I will do my best not to embarrass you again, Sarah. I’m sorry.” He
walked out the door, shutting it behind him.
C
ranking up the volume on her headphones, Sarah increased the incline on the treadmill
and closed her eyes. After a few minutes, she disappeared into the zone. It didn’t
seem too long since she had last visited the gym, but she could feel a difference
in her workout.
“Hey Sarah.” Bonnie touched her arm to get her friend’s attention.
Startled, she glanced up quickly. She smiled. “Hey Bonnie.”
“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you at the gym since the night of the midnight
stalker.” She chuckled as she climbed on the elliptical sitting beside Sarah.
“He wasn’t a stalker, Bonnie, he was a client in trouble.” She was a bit disgruntled
at the negative description of Carlos.
“Sorry. It was just a little weird, that’s all.” Bonnie could feel the tension between
them. Aiming to ease it, she headed for neutral ground. “How’s Colleen?”
“She’s doing great. She and Bob have set a date. Are you going to their engagement
party?”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it. I can’t believe she finally let go and made a definite
commitment for the wedding. She’s been terrified of actually getting married ever
since she said yes.” Bonnie took a
sip from her water bottle.
“Yeah, well Bob is a good guy. He’ll make a great husband.” Sarah wondered if she
would ever find honest, true love like theirs as she wiped her forehead with a small
white towel, She glanced at her watch.
“Wow, I didn’t realize it was so late. It seems I’m always rushing. I’ve got to get
going. I’ve got a client in an hour.” She stepped off the treadmill.
“Don’t be a stranger, Sarah. We miss you around here.” Bonnie’s voice was sincere
as she spoke.
Smiling, Sarah squeezed Bonnie’s arm. “See you soon.” She hurried into the locker
room. Humming, she stepped into the shower. The steaming water relaxed her tense muscles.
She sighed in surrender.
#
“How can I help?” Sarah asked her friend as Colleen balanced two plates of hors d
’oeuvres and a tray on her hands.
“I’m good,” she pushed open the door from the kitchen heading for the kitchen and
her bustling engagement party. Rock music blasted, then quieted as the door swung
shut again. Sarah appreciated the charm of the old house Colleen and Bob rented. She
loved the swinging door and the huge single tub sink that stood on tall ceramic legs
just in front of the kitchen window. It reminded her of the old black and white movies
she enjoyed watching.
“Where did all these people come from?” Sarah picked up a tray of vegetables and dip,
following Colleen into the fray.
“Friends of Bob’s and some people from my office.” She placed the new dishes on the
coffee table adding the tray to the assortment of finger foods on display. “It isn’t
every day a cop gets engaged.” She said the words as if her fiancé was the only one
involved in the engagement.
“How about a parole officer?” Sarah smiled. “Aren’t you a part of
this too?”
“Sarah, I’m nervous enough about this commitment stuff. Don’t bring it up now, okay?”
“Don’t take everything so seriously. This is a party.”
“So what’s not serious about ‘till death we do part’? I’d like to see how you’d feel
right about now if you were wearing my four inch stilettos and forced into setting
the date.”
“Chill, Colleen. Here comes your future husband.” Sarah smiled as Bob approached.
“Sarah, great to see you.” He eyed all the food. “I’m starved. This looks great.”
He hugged his future wife. “You do all this honey?”
“Yeah, I ordered it from the deli. All by myself.”
Bob kissed her on the nose. “Good job, sweet one.” He munched a tiny hotdog wrapped
in cheese.
“Oh, by the way Sarah, Jeff is coming by for a minute. I hope you don’t mind. I ran
into him today and I let it slip about the party. I couldn’t not ask him.” He looked
at her quizzically.
“How could I mind?” All she could think was she hoped her ex-husband didn’t bring
his young, gorgeous, new wife. “I haven’t seen him in months.” She hoped her words
sounded convincing.
“He said they might be late. Susan has to work late at the magazine.” He turned and
walked away.
“I didn’t know they were coming. Honest.” Colleen spoke apologetically.
“No worries,” she muttered. “No problem at all.”
She hadn’t seen Jeff and his Susan since before their marriage. “This should be interesting
anyway.” She turned back toward the kitchen. “What else can I do to help?”
“Nothing right now.” The doorbell rang at the same time as the telephone. “Actually,
would you mind answering the door?”
“Sure I’ve got it,” Sarah maneuvered though several groups of laughing people.
She opened the front door. Her ex-husband and his wife were standing there, smiling.
“Hi.” Sarah swallowed hard. “Come in. The party’s just starting.” She stepped aside
as they passed into the living room. Bob waved to them, gesturing them toward him.
Susan greeted Sarah quickly then moved away. Jeff pecked her cheek. A sheepish look
was on his face as he ushered his trophy wife across the room toward their host.
Turning to shut the door, Sarah glanced down the walk way. A tall, dark figure approached.
Her heart pounded as she recognized him. Her breath caught in her throat.
“Hi Sarah. Colleen invited me to stop by. She said you would be here.” Carlos was
dressed in jeans and a turtle neck sweater. His leather jacket was open at the throat
and his hands were in his pockets. He looked a little shy, slightly embarrassed.
“Carlos. What a surprise.” She glanced over her shoulder, searching the room for her
friend. “Come in. I’ll find Colleen.”
“Wait. I came here to see you. Get your coat. Let’s take a walk. It isn’t too cold
tonight.” The porch light cast shadows emphasizing his prominent cheek bones. “She
won’t mind if you disappear for a few minutes.”
What could go wrong just outside the house? She had already made her boundaries clear
to him. Her concern wasn’t Carlos anyway. It was her confusion about her feelings
regarding his subconscious self. She decided to put her worries aside, to go walking
with him. “I’ll just get my things.”
She pulled her black coat out from under the pile on the bed. As she was leaving,
she saw Colleen making her way to the kitchen. She raised her voice to be heard over
the music, “C, Carlos is here.”
Colleen looked around, “Great, where is he?”
“Outside on the porch. He says he wants to talk.” She glanced at the door. “We’re
taking a walk. We’ll only be gone for a few
minutes.”
Just as Colleen began to reply, Bob called to her from across the room. She nodded
her head to Sarah as she crossed to her future husband’s side.
Sarah stepped through the door to find Carlos standing on the porch with his back
to her. “Okay, let’s go.” She pulled on her leather gloves as they moved into the
chill night air of early spring. “What’s on your mind?”
“I need to tell you something.” He walked quickly, his hands still jammed in his pockets.
“You have all my attention.”
“Well, there’s some trouble with my home boys. I don’t want to get involved but I
don’t know what to do. I can’t just leave them in the dust.”
She stopped walking and took hold of his elbow, turning him to face her. “What kind
of trouble, Carlos?”
“I can’t say but it isn’t good.” He stared over her right shoulder. He wouldn’t meet
her eyes.
“You can’t become involved in anything illegal right now. You just can’t. One more
parole violation and you’re done. You know that. You’ve worked too hard to blow it.”
Her hand stayed on his arm as they talked.
“I know, I know. But more than that, I don’t want to let you down. It’s just I can’t
turn my back on them. We’ve got years behind us and I can’t walk away.”
“What is it? What do they want you to do?”
“I can’t go into it. I just want you to know that you have done more for me than anyone
in my life and I’ll never forget you.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Carlos?”
“Nothing.” The pain in his voice was clear. “Nothing. I’ll see you in session on Friday.”
He turned then ran down the street. She watched his shadow as he passed under the
streetlights.
O
n Friday when he came into her office, he looked tired. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Sarah, I’m in kind of a hurry today. Can we skip the conversation and get down to
the hypno thing?”
“Sure.” She was sure his hurried attitude had something to do with their conversation
at the party. “Carlos, is everything all right?”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine.” He walked to the recliner. “I’m just in a hurry today.”
He lay down, closing his eyes, putting an end to their conversation.
Deciding not to push him, she sat in the chair next to him. Looking at his handsome
face, she hoped he wasn’t lying to her, that things had calmed down, that he was safe.
“Now, focus on your breath.”
#
CARLOS HAVARRO, transcript, session 9, April 9
His voice was soft as he spoke, contemplative. She leaned forward with the recorder
to make sure she caught all his words.
I was welcomed at the court of the Emperor and treated by him as a hero. He too had
come to Spain as a foreigner so he felt compassion at my strangeness. My involvement
in the capture of Francis was kept a
secret by Charles and De Lannoy received the accolades. But, the inner circle knew
it was my doing.
My body was young and strong and I worked long, tedious hours to renew my human, physical
skills of war. My fair looks were admired and no one at court questioned my white
skin and my blue eyes. There were some rare Spaniards that shared my coloring. More
importantly, my high status in the eyes of the Emperor placed me above question. I
was careful where I fed. While it was only the thirst and not the all-encompassing
hunger that assailed me, I was content feeding on animals in the surrounding countryside
and forest.
The Spanish court was a very religious Catholic court in the midst of the Inquisition.
A strict eye was kept and severe judgment was imposed on those who did not render
all unto the Holy See. I was made a Captain in the royal army. My mission was to keep
watch over the monasteries dotting the countryside around Madrid. The monks were often
accused of thievery and sexual excesses so my men and I rode from place to place,
being the eyes of both the Emperor and the envoy from Rome.
I led a company of rough and ready warriors. We rode long, slow hours day after day
from monastery to monastery.
The men grew bored and surly. They slept little and complained a great deal. I had
not fed in some time other than on small animals and a gnawing had begun in the pit
of my stomach. I worried if I did not feed soon, I would turn into a wild monster
that would ravage the first human to cross my path. When I craved human blood, I walked
a fine edge between civilized man and hungry animal.
It was just before sunset when we rode toward our last destination. The men were worn
and the dust from the dry black dirt path filled their eyes. Their mouths were encrusted
with it. As we neared the church, the fire in my belly grew stronger as I smelled
a strong scent of blood in the air. Blood and fear somewhere close. I knew it came
from a human. An uncontrollable sound began deep in my throat, a bestial snarl. My
eyes cast about me quickly, afraid one of my troop heard but they rode on
without seeing or hearing, exhausted, their mounts stumbling in the dust as they continued
forward.