Arms of Serenity (Rock Services) (21 page)

“Do you remember what you said to me?
You told me to trust you, to believe in us. You told me you weren’t going anywhere. You told me that we could work anything out together. And now when things get rough, you’re just going to leave? Is it that easy for you to just walk away?”

“No
, Angel, it’s not easy. It’s never easy to lose what we care about the most.” Nick kissed her forehead. “That’s exactly why I need to let you go. I love you.”

Becca felt her heart shatter as she watched him turn and walk away for the last time.
I love you, too.

Chapter
Nineteen

Nick sat across the table from Todd. The room they were in had been set up as a temporary conference room for Rock until they found a permanent base of operations. It was small and cluttered, the walls lined with boxes and files. It was more of a storage room than anything else.

“Why am I here
, Todd?” Nick didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to be anywhere except a few bourbons deep into trying to forget his own misery. It never worked. The pain of not being with Becca was always there.

“Because you’re a partner in this company and that means you get to make half of the decisions.
And since I’ve hired almost everyone that has joined Rock, it’s about time you step up and sit through an interview.”

“Look around
. We don’t need an office manager when we don’t have an office.”

Todd pointed to the boxes and files.
“Do you want to sort through and file all that crap? I don’t know about you, but I’m a lover not a filer.”

Todd chuckled at his own joke while Nick scowled at him.
“Man, if you ever say something that stupid again, I’ll turn you into a eunuch, and you won’t have to worry about being either.”

Todd laughed and then grew quiet folding his arms over his chest.
“Better idea. How about you call her and stop walking around like you have a permanent case of constipation? That look hasn’t moved off your face in two weeks.”

“I’m fine
, and can we not start this conversation again? We’ve been through this. I did what I had to do.”

Todd threw his hands up in the air.
“All right, man, have it your way. I’ll drop it as long as you at least pretend to be nice and not scare our prospective employee when she gets here.”

Nick flashed him a toothy fake smile.
“Better?”

“Much.
Anyway, I know you are going to like her. She’s perfect for the job. She has an extensive background running a business and will be finishing her degree in Administration within the next year.”

There was a knock at the door.
“That must be her.” Todd stood up and yelled, “Come in.”

Nick stared down at the table and put on what he hoped was an enthusiastic smile.
When he looked up, he was instantly rendered speechless. His brain seemed to be having trouble registering who was in the doorway.

Finally, he choked out, “Becca?”

Nick couldn’t believe she was there.
She had to be a mirage or some fantasy his withered mind had conjured. His Angel was there, and she looked stunning.

Becca had her hair up in a twist that showed off the long line of her neck.
The gray business jacket she was wearing was buttoned and clung to her small waist. The material seemed to stretch over her like a second skin, and the top of her breasts came to form two bare lush mounds in the middle of her chest.

She had on a matching skirt that stopped above the knee and hugged the contour of her hips and thighs.
The heels she was wearing added at least two inches to her height and made her legs look even shapelier. Nick allowed his gaze to travel up her exposed calves and then higher following the outline of her inner thighs to the juncture that lay between. He wondered what type of panties waited underneath. Were they silk, lace or was her mound as bare as the flesh on her legs? If he placed his hand there, would he find her aching for him as much as he was for her?

Damn, she looked good
, and a fantasy of her as his naughty secretary started to take shape in his mind. Nick mentally halted his train of thought before other things started to hop on board and spring to life. He now understood what they meant by a power suit. What she was wearing had the power to bring any man to his knees.

He brought his gaze back up and narrowed his eyes.
A nagging suspicion started to tug at him.

“Becca, why are you here?”

“I’m here for the job. You didn’t get that from what I’m wearing?” She smiled at him and opened her arms to give him a full view.

Nick felt his blood pressure rise.
How could Todd go behind his back like this? Nick glared at him. “You knew about this? You set this up?”

“Before you get your boxers in a twist and blame Todd, this was my idea.”

Nick watched Todd try to hide his smirk at Becca’s words. “You need an office manager, and I’m qualified. It’s seems like a simple decision to me.”

Nick turned back to Becca.
“It’s not simple, and you know it.”

Becca just smiled with what he could swear was the most mischievous and devious look he had ever seen.
“I thought you might say something like that, so I took it upon myself to bring a reference.” Becca leaned out the door and motioned for someone. Her showing for the interview wasn’t enough? What else could she be up to?

For the second time, Nick just stared unable to form words.
Jack’s wife, Missy, strolled through the door. He looked between her and Becca and then over at Todd. For some reason, he suddenly felt trapped.

“What the hell is this
—an intervention?”

Todd shrugged and got up from his chair.
“If your ass wasn’t so stubborn then this wouldn’t be necessary. One way or the other, you’re going to finally listen to what she has to say.”

Nick watched Todd and Becca leave the room and close the door.
He would be royally pissed, if he didn’t know they were right. It wasn’t fair to Missy that he had avoided her for this long. He kept telling himself that he wasn’t ready to have this conversation. How do you tell someone that they are sorry for their loss when you feel responsible for their grief?

Missy came over and sat down next to Nick.
She leaned in and hugged him. “It is so good to see you.”

Nick embraced her back.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called or come over to the house.”

She leaned back and took his hand.
“That’s why I’m here. Nick, you can’t stop living because of what happened to Jack.”

Nick shook his head. “I am living
, but I also just can’t forget the consequences that some of my decisions have caused, either.” The vision of Becca being held hostage flashed before him.

“Nick, Jack doing what he was trained for
, and what he believed in wasn’t your decision. Entering the military, trying and making the cut for Special Forces, every mission including that last one were all him, not you.”

“It was me, Missy.
It was
my
responsibility,
my
job to make sure every single one of my team made it back.” Nick got up and turned his back towards her to stare out the only window in the room. “I failed Jack, and I failed them.”

Nick heard Missy get up from her chair and walk up behind him.
He flinched when her hands rested on his shoulders.

“No
, you didn’t. Jack never regretted the path he had chosen. He knew the dangers and the possibility that he might not come home. Do you know what his biggest fear was?”

Nick shook his head.
Jack had always talked about his hopes and dreams for the future or his family. He was always the first to laugh or played the part of the comedian in an attempt to lift the spirits of the team when their morale was in the toilet. He never mentioned fears.

“He used to tell me that he wasn’t afraid of death
. His biggest fear was when he did die his life wouldn’t have amounted to anything. He wanted to make a difference, and that’s what he did. That’s what all of you did. Nick, you can’t change what happened. What you can change is how you chose to live your life because of it.” 

Serenity
. The words came rushing back and flowed through him. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t bring Jack back or change the past. But, instead of recognizing that, he had spent his days engulfed in his own guilt and self-pity—until Becca. And just when he found something truly worth living for, he pushed her away because of his own fears and remorse.

“Jack would always talk about how he respected you and was proud to be a member of your team.
He learned so much from you and the rest of the guys. Maybe it’s time for you to learn something from him.” Missy gently pushed on his shoulders turning him to face her. She looked at the door and then back at him. “You have a wonderful woman who loves and wants nothing more than to share her life with you. Are you really willing to give that up? Live your life the best way you can, Nick. Live as if each day was a gift and never waste a sunrise. It was how Jack embraced life, and he would have wanted the same for you.”

Becca had told him that her mother had the same outlook as Jack.
He had been such a fool to walk away. Becca wasn’t willing to give up on them, and she had come offering him another chance. This time he wasn’t going to waste it.

Nick smiled at Missy. “How could someone so young be so wise?”
He leaned in and gave her a long hug. “Thank you.”

Missy hugged him back.
“Thank Becca, not me. This was all her idea. But if you insist you can thank me by coming over for dinner Friday night.”

Nick chuckled
. “Deal. I’ll bring the dessert.”

“Does that mean I should expect two?
Because I hear Becca makes the best cookies.”

“You did, huh?
I’ll do my best to persuade her into baking a few.” He smiled and winked at her. “Oh and, Missy, can you please tell the applicant to come in here?”

Missy smiled and walked out giggling.
Nick could hear the two women whispering outside the door. He shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. Leaning back, he formed a steeple with his hands over his chest. For the first time, he was looking forward to an interview.

Becca appeared in the doorway and closed the door when she came inside.

“Ms. Klayton, can you please tell me why you think we should offer you the position here at Rock Services Group?”

Nick watched as Becca ran her finger down the edge of the table as she slowly walked toward him.
Her eyes were sultry and her words full of seduction.

“Well, Mr. Hollsten
, I feel that I have much to offer and am confident that I can meet all of your needs and expectations. Being highly flexible, I am more than willing to utilize my talents and versatility by being placed in any possible position that you like. I also welcome long hours and working late into the evening to accommodate your schedule or any other demands you might have for me. My only goal is to ensure you are pleased with my performance.” When she got to the end of the table, she placed her hands to his sides and leaned down giving him a direct view of her chest. “I also have many assets that I can bring to the table, if you are interested.”

Nick groaned and pulled her into his lap. “Oh I’m very interested.” He placed his hand on her head and led her lips to his. How could he have gone even a day without the taste of her or feel of her body?

Breaking the kiss, he looked up at her.
“What about the bakery? How are you going to be here in the city being our office manager and still have the shop?”

“Anne is going to run it.
Plus, who said we are living in the city? Didn’t Todd tell you we’re building the new base for Rock at the house?”

Nick gave Becca a look of shock.
What was she talking about?

“No, Todd didn’t tell me.
What house?”

She laughed at his confusion.
“There are fifty acres of land just going to waste at my house. What do you think?”

He thought it was absolutely ingenious.
They would be able to build a new office, surveillance and conference rooms, training area and still be close enough for the rest of the team to assemble within hours if they chose to stay in the city.

“It’s perfect.
I have one condition though. We live together in the house to keep an eye on things.”

Becca laughed.
“Oh, you didn’t get that that was implied and already decided?”

“It seems you are just full of surprises today.
I love every one of them, and I love you, Angel. Can you ever forgive me for what happened, for leaving?”

Becca ran her hand down his face
, and he closed his eyes to enjoy the softness of her touch. “I love you. There’s nothing to forgive.”

Nick opened his mouth to argue
, but she placed a finger over his lips.

“The past is finally where it belongs for both of us.
You were the one that helped me get over my fears and showed me how to believe in love again. You were the one that gave me hope when I didn’t want to believe there was any left. With you, I finally found the courage to take a step forward and look to a future full of happiness for the two of us. In your arms, I found my true serenity.”

Nick could see the love shining in her eyes.
His own heart was bursting ready to spill over. He could never find the words to tell her how much love and gratitude he had for her. But he was going to try.