Arousing Love, a teen novel (3 page)

I grabbed a Bible off their bookshelf and
took it back with me to the shack. Song of Solomon was listed in
the contents, and I flipped to it. I was sure I’d never heard of it
before. I read through all eight chapters. It was like a poem about
love and desire, and some of it I definitely could relate to.

Your voice is sweet,

and your face is lovely.

You have stolen my heart

with one glance of your eyes,

How beautiful you are and how pleasing,

Your stature is like that of the palm,

and your breasts like clusters of fruit.

I said, “I will climb the palm tree;

I will take hold of its fruit.”

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:

Do not arouse or awaken love

until it so desires.

That night, when I got ready for bed, I found
her bikini on my bathroom floor. It was dry now, and touching the
two pieces stirred feelings in me all over again.

I lay in bed trying to sleep, but my mind was
filled with thoughts of Joanna. I remembered her kiss, and the
touch of her skin.

Am I falling in love? I’ve never felt like
this before. I feel so confused and
. . .
I tried to think of the right word
. . .
anguished? But it can’t
be love, I hardly even know her. You don’t fall in love this easy.
Man she’s sexy though. I like her so much.

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of her.
She was in the shower again, and I was waiting for her. This time
she came out completely naked, and just stood there letting me
admire all of her. Then I saw that I was naked too, and she was
looking at me in the same way. I could tell she liked me and
accepted me the way I was. I felt no shame.

I woke up, the sun was seeping through the
gap in the curtain, and I lay there thinking about the dream. My
dreams were usually pretty unmemorable, but this one felt like it
meant something.

I got out of bed and took a look at the
ocean. I couldn’t see the beach from my window, but the ocean swell
looked good from here. I grabbed my gear and headed out the
door.

Down at the beach, I pulled on my wetsuit,
grabbed my board, and ran into the sea. There were a couple of
surfers out the back already, and I paddled out to join them.

“How’s it?” I asked a guy I knew, and he gave
me a thumbs-up.

I waited for the next set of swells. In the
early morning light everything felt clean and fresh. A big wave
came in and I went for it, cutting a swath across its glassy
face.

After a good morning’s surf, I headed back to
shore. I saw a friend of mine on the beach with his board.

“Hey Josh, better get out there before the
tide changes.”

“Hey man, what’s this I hear ‘bout you bein’
a cradle robber?”

“What?”

“Heard she’s only twelve, bro.”

I knew my friend was baiting me, but it was
hitting a little close this time.

“Try sixteen. Anyway, what’s it to you?”

I walked away.
Everyone’s probably talking
about it now.

I lugged my board back up the hill. I had to
get ready for work.
I don’t care what anyone thinks, I have to
see her again.

Two

I hated working at my parent’s store, the
time went so slow, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Joanna. I
stared out the window, wishing I could go see her and talk to her.
I just hoped she didn’t hate me for last night.

Then there she was. I felt all jittery as
soon as I caught sight of her coming up the road. She was wearing a
light summer dress, and she looked so good. There were no
customers, so I went out to meet her.

“Hi.” She smiled, though not with her usual
glow. She kept her eyes from mine.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

There was an uncomfortable silence as I tried
to think of something to say.

“You left your swimsuit here. I’ll go get it
for you.”

She looked embarrassed at the mention of her
swimsuit. I started towards the shack.

“Zach
. . .
”

“Yeah?” I turned to face her, and she looked
down at the pavement.

“Last night
. . .
” She looked up at me, her eyes
searching mine. “I’m not usually like that.”

“I know—”

“It’s just
. . .
the way you were looking at me and
everything. I got caught up in all the attention and the way you
make me feel, and then we’d gone too far and I didn’t know how to
stop
. . . .
”

“It just happened. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I still can’t believe I did that. I wasn’t
thinking. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“It’s okay. I really like you Joanna.”

“Yeah I know, and I like you. That’s the
problem.”

That made me smile, and she smiled too, our
smiles growing larger as we stood there looking at each other. The
warmth of her smile washed over me, making me feel so happy
again.

“I should get back to work.” I glanced
towards the store hoping my dad hadn’t seen me out here yet.

“When do you get off?”

“Five o’clock.”

“Okay,” she smiled, “I’ll see you at five
then.”

I watched her walk away, then remembered I
hadn’t given her back her swimsuit. I sighed and went back to the
store.

My dad was waiting for me. “Who was
that?”

“Umm
. . .
”
What is she, a friend? A girl I like?
“She’s someone I
met.”

He frowned. “A little young isn’t she?”

Why does everyone think she’s too young?
She’s less than three years younger than me.
Thankfully, he
didn’t say anything else, and went back to what he’d been
doing.

Just before 5 o’clock, Joanna came into the
store. Her bright smile took my breath away, I was so glad to see
her.

“I was thinking, Zach, I’d really love to see
some of your paintings, if you have any you could show me?”

“Yeah, there’s some in the house I can show
you.”

I was happy to show her my art. As soon as I
finished up, we went over to the house, and I led her into the
living room.

“That’s one I did last year.” I pointed to
the large painting above the fireplace. “And this one too.” I went
around the house pointed out my paintings to her. There were quite
a few my parents had hanging on their walls.

“You’re really talented.” She peered at one
of the portraits. “Do you have any more like this?”

“There’s another portrait in my room. My
parents didn’t want it for the house.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a nude. Not really their thing.” I
grinned.

She laughed. “I wanna see it.”

“Alright, but the subject’s not as beautiful
as another I’ve seen recently.”

It took her a moment to grasp my meaning,
then her mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe you!” She slapped my
arm and laughed.

I laughed too.

“Who’s your friend, Zach?” My mom had come
into the room.

“Oh, Mom, this is Joanna.”

“Hello.” My mom smiled at Joanna, then gave
me her quizzical eyebrows look. I’d never brought any girls to the
house before, so who knows what she was thinking.

“Joanna wanted to see some of my art.” I
explained.

“Oh yes, he’s good isn’t he?”

“He is. They’re all very good. The portraits
are my favorite.”

“He’s done some nice landscapes too. It’s a
pity there aren’t more of them here. He keeps giving them away to
his friends.”

“We’re going now, Mom.” I ushered Joanna
towards the door.

“It was nice meeting you, Mrs. uh
. . .
Zach’s mom.”

My mom smiled. “It was nice meeting you too,
Joanna.”

We went out to the shack and I unlocked the
door.

“Your mom seems nice.”

“Yeah.”

I closed the door behind us, and we looked at
each other. I could feel a nervous tension between us, like we were
waiting for something to happen.

“Maybe it’s not a good idea to come
here.”

“It’s okay, I won’t take a shower this time.”
She laughed, though it didn’t really ease the tension.

I pulled my painting out from behind the
shelf.

“Why do you keep it back there?”

“It’s not really something I’d want on my
wall, and I’ve got nowhere else to put it.”

I thought I detected a slight blush as Joanna
looked over the female nude figure in the painting.

“It’s beautiful. How long did it take you to
paint it?”

“Not long. I work pretty fast.”

“Who did you use for a model?” She lifted her
eyes from the painting to look at me.

“It was just a photo.”

“Oh.” Her eyes wandered a little before
returning to mine. “Have you ever seen a naked woman in real
life?”

Her question took me by surprise. “Ah, you
mean apart from you?”

“Yeah.” She blushed.

“I don’t know, probably not.” I was ashamed
to admit that. “Actually, I had a dream about you last night. It
felt like it meant something.”

“What was it?”

“It wasn’t sexual or anything, but you were
naked
. . .
”

I smiled as she blushed again. She was so
cute. I put the painting back behind the shelf as I recounted the
dream to her.

“. . .
It
was like you were seeing the real me, and I was seeing the real
you—we accepted each other for who we really are.”

She frowned. “So, I haven’t seen the real you
yet?”

“You have, it’s just
. . .
you know, sometimes we aren’t totally
ourselves with other people until we know them really well. You
know what I mean?”

“Yeah, but I’m not like that, I’m just
me.”

“You don’t care what people think of
you?”

“I care what you think of me.” She smiled a
little smile that made her look so vulnerable.

“You wanna know what I think? I think you’re
amazing. You’re beautiful and happy and free, and you’re so much
fun to be with. I really like you a lot.”

Joanna tilted her head to one side and smiled
shyly. “You know, I think teenagers are afraid of rejection more
than anything else.”

“I know. We tear each other to pieces trying
to be accepted. It’s a teen eat teen world.”

“And the media feeds our fears. They tell us
what’s cool and what’s not, and how to look and act to be
accepted.”

I nodded. “We’re majorly marketed to. It
feels like everyone’s trying to manipulate us, and they know how to
target our weaknesses. I hate it.”

“I hate it too.”

“You’re a deep thinker, aren’t you
Joanna?”

She smiled. “I guess.”

“It’s good to be able to think for yourself.
There’re people trying to force their thinking on us all the
time.”

“Like who?”

“You know, like the media, and all the
politically correct stuff. They’re deliberately guiding our
thinking in certain ways, which is like social engineering. It’s
not all bad, but this is meant to be the land of the free, and it’s
not freedom if we’re taught what to think. It’s
indoctrination.”

“You’re a deep thinker too, aren’t you
Zach?”

“I like to think so.” I grinned.

“Do you believe in God?” Her eyes searched
mine.

“Uh, yeah, I guess. I don’t see much good in
Christianity, though. Mostly a lot of hypocrites who think they’re
better than everyone else.”

“I’m a Christian.”

“Oh
. . . .
”

“Not that I’m perfect or anything, as you’ve
already seen.”

“Well, I didn’t mean you
. . .
and from what I’ve seen, you look
pretty perfect to me.” I smiled, hoping I hadn’t offended her too
much.

She smiled too. “I don’t think of myself as
better than anyone else, but I try to be what a Christian is
supposed to be. I’m not always good at that, but I guess God is
still working on me. Hey, can I play you one of my songs? It’s kind
of about this.”

“You write songs?” She just kept surprising
me.

“Yeah.” She got my guitar and sat down on the
bed. “I don’t usually play my songs for other people, so don’t
laugh or anything.”

“Okay.”

She gave the guitar a quick tune. “It’s
called ‘Why Me.’”

She started plucking the strings in an
intricate melody, and then began to sing in a sweet, lilting voice.
It was a song about the love of God who saved her even while she
was still a sinner. She closed her eyes and sang with a gentle
intensity, it was amazing.

When she finished, I clapped. “Wow, that was
so good. You sing with such emotion.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you’re really good with the
guitar. You think you could teach me to play like that?”

“Sure, I could try. Actually, I was gonna ask
you something
. . .
”

“What’s that?”

“You think you could paint me a picture?” She
grinned.

I smiled. “That’s funny. I was going to ask
if I could paint your portrait.”

She laughed. “Not nude though.”

“No.” I grinned. “I can just paint that in
later, from memory.”

She laughed and grabbed my pillow to swing at
me, and that’s when she saw her bikini lying there where my pillow
had been. She just stared at it.

I was so embarrassed. “Oh yeah, I was gonna
give those back to you.”

She gave me a strange look, then started
laughing. “I’d let you keep them, since you obviously like them so
much, but I kind of need them for swimming.”

I laughed too.
She’s so amazing, she never
makes me feel bad about anything.

“Hey, is that your camera up there? We should
take some photos!”

I looked up where she was looking. “Yeah,
that’s a great idea.”