Arrows (23 page)

“Babe, I know I screwed up.”

“You think?”

“You’re the only girl I want. You and Nell, my two girls. I’m leaving now, okay?”

I scoffed. The flutter in my stomach hearing him beg. I knew it wasn’t healthy. “Only girl? Ha.” My crumpled tissue bounced lightly off the wastebasket next to the bathroom sink. “Did you really think you could go around sleeping with Jen and who knows who else without me knowing? You are an idiot. The biggest idiot I’ve ever met.” I used volume to emphasize the
idiot
s. I tried not to feel bad for yelling at him.

“I swear this is the last time, Karma. You’re right, I am an idiot. Please, I have to see you. We can work this out.”

“You don’t deserve to see me or touch me or talk to me ever again.”

I rolled my eyes as he continued to beg, set the phone on the sink, and began fixing my hair in the mirror. When his stupid voice was no longer begging from the phone, I picked it up.

“I don’t want to see you tonight or ever,” I said. “We’re through. So goodbye.”

I punched the end button and doubled over until the sharp pain in my stomach faded. My phone lit up a second later. The buzzing made me want to scream. I marched out of the bathroom with my finger on the ignore call button. Aaryn had spread a blanket over the couch and was reading on top of it, his head against the armrest. He glanced up.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” I ended another attempted call from Danny and sat on the opposite side of the couch. “I just want to punch him or die, I don’t know.”

“I had no idea you could yell like that. Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

“I know. Sorry.”

The phone in my hand would not shut up. I groaned. “Do you care if I take this in your bedroom? I’m not feeling the greatest. I think I need to lie down.”

“Go ahead.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

I shuffled into his bedroom and shut the door. His room was simple, no-fuss, and I didn’t think twice about crawling into his bed, the sheets that smelled like him, a hint of cologne, his bitter soap. My eyes closed and the burning feeling disappeared. I felt like all my tears had left me empty, not even a person, just a shell with nothing inside, lost in a great lake. I felt hot, feverish, even, and the pain in my stomach had gotten worse.

When Danny’s number popped up moments later, I realized I’d been holding my breath. Fear had crept into my chest, a horrible black ink. I pushed answer and held the phone to my ear.

“Karma, please.”

My eyes eased shut when I heard his voice. He still wanted me. And despite everything, despite how angry and hurt I was, I just wasn’t ready to let him go. My tears came again, slow, wet droplets streaming down to soak Aaryn’s pillow.

I cried in silence as Danny promised me all sorts of things, things I knew deep in my heart would never come true. The release felt like waves over my body, and the sound of his voice was like a spring, helping me forgive, forget.

Day 74

The doorknob to my bedroom turned, and Karma came out, eyes puffier than when she went in, hair disheveled, like a girl who’d been beaten. Her cheeks were unnaturally red.

“Are you okay?” I asked. She wouldn’t look at me. “What did he say? What’s going on?”

She picked up her purse from the couch, the leather sliding against her hip. “I’m going to go.”

“What? But—did you talk about things? From the way you were yelling, it seemed like you were going to break up.”

I followed her as she took a few more steps toward the door. She hugged the purse. “No.”

“No?”

The zipper made a scratching sound as she opened it, then dropped her phone inside. “Can you just—stop worrying about this? I know he’s an ass, but he said he’s sorry and there’s just a lot you don’t understand.” Her bottom lip quivered when she finished.

“I do understand.” I tried to pull her toward me for a hug, but she stiffened. “Karma.” I smoothed her hair behind her ear. The curls were a little damp from her tears. “I understand more than you know.”

She was so pitiful and strong at the same time, fighting a power she didn’t even realize controlled her. My arrow. My arrow had turned her into this. I stood in front of her, my hands on her arms. She was shaking her head.

“You don’t,” she whispered. “You couldn’t.” Her hands pressed against her stomach, her frown deepening.

“You need to lie down.”

“No. I’m fine. I think I’m just sore from dancing.”

“We have to talk. I don’t even know how to start.”

“Danny’s on his way over.” She slid away from my touch, the kitchen linoleum creaking as she walked to the sink. The water sprayed into her glass.

“He is? Why are you going with
him
?”

She finished the water and placed the glass on the counter. “We have a lot going on between us right now.”

My breathing was really shaky. “And that’s what you want? To go with him?”

“Yes.” She dug around in her purse, then typed a message on her phone, mouth set in a line.

“Don’t go. Don’t go with him, not now.”

“I have to.”

“What if I told you there was a way to stop feeling like this?”

She stood there for many moments, then strode toward the door.

“Hey, I’m serious,” I said. “I know you feel like you have to stay with him, but I swear—”

“Can you please stop talking?” She gasped and bent in half. Great. I’d made her cry again. She breathed in hard, but her nose was all clogged.

“Stay with me.” I stepped closer. “We can have coffee. I’ll explain everything. I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

She closed her eyes slowly and just stood there, not moving, not speaking.

Her phone buzzed.

“I really have to go.”

The sound of the door closing behind her felt like a gunshot. Something inside of me broke in that moment, my ego, maybe, my heart.

My fists had closed, the veins rising along the top. I ran to the bedroom and opened the closet with a bang. I threw the T-shirts off the golden arrow and grabbed the shaft. The blades brushed my arm—fine. Maybe it could ruin my life next. I snatched the bow, feeling the cool curved handle, wire that pinged when my fingertip brushed the edge.

Running, the stairs didn’t take long. Not when I felt so much rage. In the darkness I immediately spotted where Danny had parked in front of the apartment. It had started to rain, a cold autumn rain that would soon change into snow. The droplets stung my face, my ragged breath making a cloud before me into the night. A small shrub hid my presence, but I saw him clearly: Danny’s silhouette through the branches. He talked while his hands gestured in sweeping motions. He was the one she wanted.

I fit the arrow into the bow and pulled, the string making a slicing sound, metal on metal, a sound that was familiar and nauseating. I hadn’t changed much as a human. I was still willing to cheat and lie my way out of trouble. What did I care about love? She wanted him.

His face was right there.

Right in my sights.

My shot would change everything.

As soon as he proposed I would go home.

I closed one eye and stared, my body hot with adrenaline. The moment had come. I saw him as if I had a telescope, his face was so clear, the words he spoke almost audible.

My arm didn’t tire of holding the arrow toward him, and my breathing had returned to normal, calm, ready.

He punched the dashboard.

My eyelid twitched.

He did it again, again. His fist pounded the plastic, the veins in his neck protruding, yelling at her. He was no longer sorry. He’d never been sorry, not before, not now. I couldn’t do it. She deserved to choose who she loved.

Just as I was going to relax my arm, someone reached around my stomach. A face pressed into the middle of my back. Soft, slender fingers slipped over my hand, guiding the arrow’s grip.

With a snap, the arrow flew. It landed on Danny with a burst of light, the perfect shot. I waited, not breathing as I watched Danny’s silhouette.

He wasn’t yelling anymore.

I whirled around. “Phoebe!”

“Finally.” Her emerald eyes flickered. “Nice shot.”

I hurled the bow against the building. It clanged noisily. “Why did you sneak up on me like that? My God, what have we done?” In the truck Karma and Danny talked calmly. My throat hurt from the tight feeling surrounding it.

“You were aiming right at him,” Phoebe said.

“I was angry.” The aura around her pulsed. “I wasn’t going to shoot.”

“Now we just have to wait for the proposal,” Phoebe said. “Too bad you’ll have to stay until then.”

“I’d rather die than wait for that.”

She sighed and reached to comfort me, one glowing hand against my arm. “It’s not so bad, really. Soon you’ll be home. We’ve waited a long time for this.”

I shrugged away from her touch. “We?”

Phoebe lifted her palms skyward, the light from her hands illuminating her face even more. “Don’t you get it? There’s still a life for you on Olympus. I know, you’re mad you can’t be with Karma, poor you, but the truth is I just saved your life. Now you can come home. Be back where you’re supposed to be.”

“I was going to go to Blackout. Like I should have at finals.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t going to join Tek. I was going to fix my mistake. Break Karma’s enchantment with the lead arrow, if it ever got here. Fail my mission. Go to Blackout.”

“And what, be mortal?”

“Yes.”

Phoebe gave a short laugh. “This girl has really messed you up. You’re being totally irrational.”

“We were going to find each other after Blackout.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t know if it would have worked.” I met her eyes. “Maybe it was a crazy idea, but it was the best I could think of. She could have loved me. We could have started over, together.” My hands were beginning to feel numb.

“You’d rather be human?” Phoebe looked incredulous.

“Maybe.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, okay—you’re welcome. Now you can’t be stupid. I have to get back. See you after he proposes.”

“I don’t want to wait.” I stepped toward her. “I can’t stay for that. I can’t.”

“Until he proposes, the assembly won’t believe your mission is complete. There’s no choice but to wait. I told you, no one can find out about the golden arrow, okay?” She shook her head. “See you soon.” With a wave of her hand she flickered and disappeared.

The stairs to my apartment creaked with each step forward. It didn’t seem possible to feel lost inside a narrow stairwell, but that night I did.

Tek’s chip was on the table. I locked the door behind me with a click. It was time to push all the lies into the open, no matter what the consequence. It was time to make sure that what happened to Karma never happened again.

I placed the square chip into my palm, then sucked air, hard. Fear pricked my skin as I drew the chip to my mouth.

“How could you leave the party with him?” Danny shook his head and punched the dashboard of his truck.

I flinched. The engine was noisy, glugging gas. I was quiet for a while, then took a deep breath and placed my folded hands on my lap. “How could you cheat?” I clutched the sides of my stomach and leaned forward, feeling like I might vomit. Maybe the stench of smoke had something to do with how nauseated I felt. “I mean, seriously, are you saying that because I go somewhere with my friend, it’s okay for you to cheat? I thought you were coming here so we could talk, and obviously we have a
lot
to talk about, but I’m really, really tired of the conversation.”

“Oh, this is great, just so typical, you acting like you’re better than me, you and your perfect family.”

The gnawing pains in my belly, pains I’d only experienced during childbirth, made it hard to focus. “What? This has nothing to do with my family.”

“Yeah, you’re just so perfect, aren’t you?” His fist landed on the dashboard with a crack. “Maybe if your dad hadn’t run off, you wouldn’t be such a slut. Do you think? Huh?”
Thump.

Thump.

I cowered against the door.

Then a breeze.

A change.