Arsenic and Old Armor (18 page)

“
Who is Marion?”

“
Our niece,” she repeated.
“The Earl of Fleet’s daughter.”

William grinned broadly, showing even, white
teeth. “Eee-lated. I’ll have her work with me training the
men.”

“
No, Sir William, Marion is
a girl,” Judith corrected him.

“
She fought better as a wee
one than my army do now,” he complained. “They lack liveliness.
They need that spark of life. They need—”

“
You shall not take her to
visit your men,” Judith ordered in a sharp whisper. “She’ll be
married to the laird and move to Blackthorn Hall. She’ll have no
time.” Without giving William a chance to respond, she turned to
Brother Luke. “Has our wee bairn grown at all since she left
here?”

“
Indeed she has!” Luke felt
embarrassed at his lack of consideration in not offering this
information before. “She has grown into a bonny lass. She has
actually become a tall young woman.”

“
Taller than the laird?”
Judith asked, obviously dismayed.

“
No, not taller than Sir
Iain. I tell you she has blossomed into a lovely young
lady.”

“
How long is her hair?”
Judith asked.

Luke had to think about that. “Quite long, I
believe.”

“
And her eyes?” the older
lady asked.

“
They have not changed,” he
replied. “They are dark. The color of onyx.”

“
Does she still
fart?”

“
Pardon me?” Luke turned to
William, unable to hide the mixture of shock and laughter rising up
in him.

“
The poor child,” Judith
continued, as if it were perfectly natural to discuss their niece’s
bodily functions. “She used to have such an unsettled stomach. Not
too many things agreed with her when she was small. That was why
she never grew. Has she grown at all?”

Luke stared at her.

“
She farted all the time.
Morning, noon, and night,” William clarified, rising from his
chair. He directed a sharp look at Luke. “Does she still do it,
recruit?”

“
No, Sir William.” He
struggled and managed to fight back his smile. “She does an
excellent job of…uh, holding it in.”

“
We should just be happy
that our Marion is coming home to us,” Judith insisted.

“
I’ve told you. I’m
elated,” William said to his sister before turning back to Luke.
“Soldiers have been known to fart, you know. She can teach them how
to manage it.”

Luke took a long drink from his cup.

“
Now, now, Sir William. No
more talk of this before company,” Judith scolded.

William snorted, taking a blackberry tart
that Luke had been eyeing. The old knight mumbled, "Horrible"
before sitting back in his chair.

The sound of riders arriving in the
courtyard reached Luke’s ears. William and Judith were on their
feet in an instant and racing toward one of the windows. Judith
beat him there and then shook her head sternly at her brother,
pointing to the chair. “You stay with Brother Luke, Sir William. I
can manage this by myself.”

Luke stood up, comprehending her concern
completely. In Sir William’s general state of confusion, he could
very well draw his sword and chase after any visitors arriving at
Fleet Tower, thinking they were English. William returned to the
table, glowering at him.

Judith opened the shutters and began talking
to someone below. Luke watched as Sir William stared down his nose
at him. The visor was ready to drop over his eyes.

“
No sword, no chain mail,
no dirk, no helmet. You are not prepared for the battle at all,
soldier.”

“
I couldn’t afford any of
that, sir,” Luke said, trying to humor him and listen to
Judith.

The older man put an arm around Luke’s
shoulder. “You come with me to the dungeon. I’ll arm you with all
you need to do battle against the bloody English dogs.”

“
No, no, William,” Judith
cried, hurrying back to join them. “Brother Luke is not going
anywhere with you. He is
not
one of your soldiers.”

Obviously disappointed, William released him
and cast an eye back at the window. “Well, then…who’s in the
courtyard? Englishmen or soldiers loyal to me?”

Judith ignored the question and turned
instead to Luke. “Two of your favorite warriors have ridden over
from Blackthorn Hall.”

“
Who is it, woman?” William
persisted. “There shall be no fence straddlers. They’re either with
me or against me. Who is it?”

“
It’s Tom and John, Sir
William. Your own loyal men. They’re seeing to their horses before
they come in.”

“
I am eee-lated. They must
be bringing me news from Leglen Wood.” He strode toward the
doorway, and Judith went after him.

Brother Luke shook his head with amusement
as she tried to stop her brother. John and Tom Armstrong, two
brothers who worked in the stables at Blackthorn Hall, were
seasoned fighters, having served both Iain and his father for
nearly twenty years. Good natured men, they were also tough,
bearing scars earned of Flodden Field and a dozen other
battles.

The two men walked into the room and were
greeted warmly by Lady Judith.

William stepped in front of his sister and
hugged each man. To their credit, neither flinched. “You are alive,
lads. That’s excellent. What news have you brought me?”

“
All is quiet in Leglen
Wood,” John replied.

“
Nothing to report, Sir
William,” Tom added.

“
Eee-lated,” William
replied. He took a step back and inspected each man’s attire and
weapons. He tapped the side of his nose thoughtfully. “I have new
swords for each of you, lads.”

“
We’re quite satisfied with
these, sir,” Tom explained.

William shook his head in disapproval. “I
shall fetch you what you need from the armory.”

Judith tried to stop him, but William was
already heading toward the arched doorway. As the four of them
watched, the older man drew his sword.

With the shout “FREEDOM!” he charged up the
stairs.

John and Tom strolled across the great hall
as if there were nothing amiss.

Judith scurried over to the table to offer
them something to eat.

“
So,” Brother Luke said
with a smile. “Members of the Wallace’s Merry Men, are
you?”

They nodded and grinned.

“
Indeed they are,” Judith
answered. “My brother decided several years ago that these fine men
are John Somebody and Tom Somebody…”

“
John Blair, Lady Judith,”
John said.

“
And Tom Halliday,” said
the other. “Don’t you remember?”

“
Oh, indeed. Now that you
say it.”

“
We’re two of the Wallace’s
most trusted friends, Brother Luke,” John explained, taking a fruit
tart off the plate.

“
We’re important men, don’t
you know,” Tom laughed, looking over the sweets Judith was
offering.

It was clear that the McCall sisters’
excellent baking might have been added incentive for coming to
Fleet Tower.

“
What brings you here
today?” Brother Luke asked of the two.

“
Ah, well. There’s a wee
crisis over at the Hall, Brother,” John explained.

“
Sir George Harington seems
to have gone missing,” Tom added.

“
How could that be
possible?” Luke asked. “I thought the man was out looking for the
other two lost Englishmen.”

“
He was,” Tom said. “But we
got back a couple of hours ago to change horses and were told that
Sir George left his group this morning, heading back to the Hall.
Never arrived.”

“
No surprise.” John popped
another tart into his mouth. “An Englishman couldn’t find his own
arse in a pile of millstones.”

Brother Luke coughed and Tom elbowed his
brother.

“
Beggin’ your pardon, Lady
Judith,” he apologized, his mouth full.

“
No need to, young man,”
she said. “We feel just the same here. Why, I remember when…when…”
She paused and held up the platter of pastries to the two men. “You
need to finish these. We have more in the kitchens, you
know.”

It
was
the baked goods that made these
two volunteer to ride over, Brother Luke decided, as each man
plucked a handful of the tarts off the plate.

“
He could be wandering
about,” Luke suggested. “Has anyone gone out looking for
him?”

“
We sent—” John stopped as
Lady Judith handed him a cup full of spiced cider. “You are a
wonder, m’lady. How did you know how thirsty and hungry we
were?”

The woman’s round rosy face bloomed into a
smile as she gave a cup to Tom, as well. She urged the men to sit
down and rest themselves, and they both did as they were told.

“
A group of the lads are
already out searching for him,” Tom managed to explain before Lady
Judith turned to the table to pick up the platter of pastries
again. “In fact, we should be out with them, as well.”

“
What are you doing here,
then?” Luke asked.

“
We heard Sir George raving
about Lady Margaret and Lady Judith, so we hoped maybe he is not
lying in a ditch somewhere, but sitting here instead, enjoying the
day with you.”

Any
excuse to visit the sisters, Luke thought. “Well, as you can
see, he is not here, and the evening will soon be upon us. So you
fellows should be on your way.”

“
My army is growing, lads.
The armory is short on swords.”

William was beside them again. Luke almost
laughed to see the two men jump. He wasn’t the only one who never
heard the older man come into the great hall.

“
Perhaps we shall retire to
the dungeons, where you can fight some of the other men for their
weapons?”

“
No, Sir William,” Lady
Judith scolded her brother. “They do not need new weapons. They
have their own arms, as you can see. Now, sit and have a bite to
eat.”

The Wallace sat, but not without complaining
and muttering, "Horrible" after he ate another tart from the
platter.

“
Brother Luke is right. We
should be on our way,” Tom said, pushing reluctantly to his
feet.

“
We should indeed be
going,” John said halfheartedly, following his brother’s
lead.

“
You cannot be leaving
empty-handed,” Judith announced.

Brother Luke noticed that there were only
two pastries left in the tray. Their host picked up the plate.

“
All of you stay right
here. I’ll be right back. I’ll just fill this plate and bring
something for you lads to take along with you.”

Both men called out their gratitude. Judith
directed a warning look at her brother before rushing out toward
the kitchens.

“
This is all too strange,”
Luke told the Armstrong men.

“
Indeed it is.” John
nodded. “Though I personally wouldn’t mind if the whole lot of ‘em
disappeared off the face of this earth.”

Luke nodded, thinking. “That aside. The two
Englishmen before and today Sir George. Where could they be? If
some outlaws had attacked them, then where are the bodies?”

William sat like a stone, silently staring
at Luke. After a couple of minutes of being closely observed, the
cleric realized his mistake. He had made another reference to the
English.

“
All is well. I am a
friend,” Luke said in what he hoped was a calm voice.

“
Then join us, lad,”
William challenged.

“
I
have
joined you. I am one of your
recruits.”

Sir William jumped up to his feet.

“
We shall take a wee walk
to the dungeon, where I can question you.”

Luke stood up and backed around the chair.
“That won’t be necessary now, Sir William.” He glanced at the two
Armstrong men. They were obviously not about to defend him. In
fact, they looked as if they were finding this entire situation
very entertaining.

“
I can smell a lie,”
William said in a low menacing tone, stepping toward
him.

“
Now, listen to me, Sir
William,” he responded reasonably, putting both hands up in
peace.

The sound of footsteps came from behind
them. William whirled around, his hand grasping the hilt of his
sword. Lady Margaret appeared in the wide doorway to the great
hall.

“
She must have been the one
I smelled,” William muttered under his breath, taking his hand off
the weapon and stomping back to his seat.

Luke let out a sigh of relief.

“
Well, well, how
wonderful,” Margaret announced as she shed her cloak and dropped it
on one of the window seats.

The two Armstrong men were on their
feet.

“
Afternoon, Lady Margaret,”
Tom said cheerfully.

“
Afternoon,” John
echoed.

“
How wonderful to have all
you gentlemen here,” she said enthusiastically. “You all will be
staying to eat, no?” She put a basket she was carrying on the
window seat beside her cloak.

The three of them murmured their excuses,
each stating why they couldn’t stay.

“
Excellent. It’s been so
long since we had so many people sitting around the table with
us.”