Ash (40 page)

He took a step toward me, then stopped. I guess we were both unsure of what to do next. Some of the tension released in his eyes as he looked at me, and he smiled. I wanted to rush to him, put my arms around him, kiss him. But I didn’t. I was still a Blank in the eyes of the world. Until the truth came out, I’d have to act like it.

“Dax, I’m so sorry,” he said.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“They’ll come around,” he said. “It will get easier.”

I took a deep breath, stealing myself for what needed to happen. “No, it won’t. You know that.”

He got that serious look again. The one I’d been seeing a lot more of recently. “Then let them talk. I don’t care what they say, Dax.” He reached his hand out for mine.

Instead of grabbing it, I shook my head no, trying to ignore that my heart was breaking. Theron wanted to be with me. It was everything I ever wanted. But it couldn’t happen. Not yet.

“But I care,” I replied softly. Until everything was sorted out with my destiny, the two of us were better off alone, whether he realized it or not. “I’m sorry, Theron. I can’t do this.” I turned away before he could see my eyes tear up.

I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him I was really a Purple and that his destiny was tied to mine. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know how he’d react. Would he try to tell people to defend me? Blurt it out to someone like Wen? Make some stand against the system the way Aldan did? I could risk it. I wouldn’t put his life in jeopardy. My future—our future—would have to wait until the truth was wide open. I just wasn’t sure how to make that happen.

I left Theron standing there and pinged the Revenants. I knew it was dangerous to contact them now with the amped up security surrounding my family, but I had to chance going to see them. I was desperate to talk about what happened. Beyond that, I wanted answers. Madden’s ravings about blackmailers were eating at me. Zane had overheard my conversation with Link. I’d trusted him, but had he done something with that information? Had Oena?

I received a ping back in minutes. “Purple zone running trail, Marker 7, ten minutes.”

I didn’t have far to go. I cut away from the school and headed toward the wooded area that zigzagged to and from the shore. It was one of my favorite running paths and one that I took at least once a week. Smart thinking on whoever’s part had orchestrated the meet. Marker 7 was within the most heavily wooded area and it would be unlikely that anyone would follow me. Unlikely, but not impossible. The PAE had made no mystery of their presence in my family’s life. We were all being watched. There was a PAE van parked in front of my house for a good portion of the day. Officers would do sporadic check-ins on all of us. Sometimes they’d stop me on my way to and from school, other times a guard would pop up during my afternoon run. I was constantly looking over my shoulder. It felt like there were eyes on me even when there weren’t.

When I hit the designated location I slowed down, anxiety sending my senses into overdrive. The birds were louder. The distant waves against the shore were denser. I could hear the animals in the trees around me. When Zane finally stepped out from the shadows I had to stifle a scream.

“Not quite the reaction I had hoped for,” he said ruefully.

“Crilas, Zane,” I said. “You scared me.” I rubbed the back of my hand over my forehead, wiping the sweat from my face.

He seemed amused by my reaction. “I’ve been known to do that,” he replied. “The crew’s down below.” He reached into the leaves next to his feet to lift up a trap door.

“Are you sure—” I began.

“Your tracker data will send the PAE on quite a chase if they follow. I’ve got you circling around Marker 7…” he looked down and punched something into his own tracker. “Starting
now.
We’ve got ten, maybe fifteen minutes before it occurs to them that something’s off. That’s me being charitable, really. The PAE’s observation skills have never been one to brag about.” He nodded at the black hole next to his feet. “Ladies first.”

I climbed down the ladder and Zane followed. We made our way through a short tunnel until we reached a doorway so grimy it blended into the wall. Behind it was a small, crowded room. My brother’s arms immediately crushed me, lifting me off of the ground into a hug. I squeezed back, relieved to see him. Oena was there, as well as Thom and Raze. I greeted everyone quickly.

“We don’t have much time,” Oena said.

“I know,” I said. “Do you all know about Madden’s confession?”

Thom answered. “We do. We’ve all been discussing it since we found out.”

“Okay,” I said. “I spoke to her today. It’s true, I really am the future minister.” I filled them in on what Madden had told me after school. “But there are still some things I don’t get,” I concluded. “Like why Madden said she’s being blackmailed. Is it true?”

“Blackmail is such a nasty word,” Zane said. “Test is more accurate. I wanted to get to the bottom of your mystery, so I asked her to retrieve a code for me. It wouldn’t have taken me long to find it on my own, but I knew if she agreed to help, then she’d told you the truth. Simple and effective.”

I saw Link’s face harden at Zane’s words. I didn’t blame him. I crossed my arms in front of me. “It was also sneaky. Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing?”

“It wasn’t the kind of information I wanted you to receive under observation. Oena and I have spent the last few days trying to find a place where one of us could tell you in person. Problem is, as you know, you’ve developed some nasty PAE tails,” he said, raising his shoulders in an apologetic shrug. “It couldn’t be helped.”

I felt a knot of tension unravel as his words sunk in. Zane had just done what he’d promised—he’d found out the truth.

“But this leads to the next question,” he continued. “What will you do now that you know?”

“I’m not sure,” I said. “There’s no way I can prove anything Madden said. Until she’s ready to tell people, there’s not much I can do. Sol can get the proof, but he won’t—not if Madden doesn’t want him to. I saw the way he looked at her during the breakout. He’s practically smitten.” My brother’s jaw tightened, and I felt a little bad for bringing up another guy liking Madden. “I know how you feel about her, Link. But I don’t want to wait. Just imagine what I could do if people knew the truth. Everything would be put under a microscope—destinies reevaluated, decisions reconsidered. If I was minister, it would show people they shouldn’t judge others by their ring. Everyone thought I was an Ash, but I’m not. It will make them look at things differently.” My mind flashed to Theron. It would make it possible for us to be together, and that was just one of hundreds of reasons I needed to take office. I looked straight at my brother. “Maybe you could even come home.”

Link ruined my fantasy with a shake of his head. “The minute I poke my head above ground someone will blow it off. We’ve been keeping track of the news. Outside of our family, there’s not a person in New City who doesn’t want to see me removed. Telling everyone your destiny won’t change that.”

“I agree with Link,” Oena said. “As much as I want to see the truth come out, the PAE twists destinies to fit their plans. You’ll be a pawn for them if you don’t plan this carefully. That takes time. The ministers have spent their entire lives building alliances. Worthington and Sealy vote the same on every issue. Kurtz sides with Blythe on tracking legislation, except when it comes to territories outside of New City.”

I knew Oena and Link were right. Everything they said made sense. But it was the last thing I wanted to hear. “So what, then?” I asked. “I just act like nothing is different?”

Zane answered. “Madden is trusted by the ministry. She can make more headway than you for our cause, and now that she knows the truth, she’ll help you. She’ll help
us
,” he waved his hands to include everyone. “It boils down to timing. You tell the truth now, they’ll induct you. At best you’ll be a puppet for the rest of your life. At worst, you’ll have an accident the morning after your Destiny Day, followed by a very nice memorial service. Lots of pretty speeches. Impressive purple bouquets.”

I shuddered. “They wouldn’t.”

“They would,” Zane said.

“They have,” Oena agreed, her voice soft. “Zane and I know from experience.”

I looked back and forth between them, waiting for either to elaborate. Oena looked sad. Zane grim. Both were silent as I mulled their words over.

“Think of it as training,” Zane finally said. “The best leaders are patient. They play the long game to win and don’t get tripped up by the details. The next few months are a gift. Watch. Study. Learn. We’ll help you position yourself to take the ministry on your terms.”

“Alright,” I said. Although it didn’t feel like a gift. It meant nothing would change in my life. The constant observation. The hatred. Keeping Theron at a distance. But there was a bigger picture to keep in mind. “Madden can stay minister for now.” Which reminded me, “What was the code she got for you?” I asked.

A slow smile spread over Zane’s face. “A good question,” he said. “We’ve known for some time that there’s a Purple with a destiny somehow attached to the Revenants. I’ve used the code to uncover the information.”

I heard Oena catch her breath.

So this was news to everyone.

He nodded. “The destiny is to expose the Revenants. It’s attached to a girl by the name of Aya Lee. Her time stamp is scheduled for this year.”

I saw Link stiffen next to me. “You’re talking about the child with the classified destiny, right? She’s what—seven or eight?”

“What she lacks in size, she makes up for with threat,” Zane said. “But this is for a later discussion.”

“What are you planning?” I asked.

“Nothing to worry about, we’re still figuring it all out. But we do have to get you out of here. The PAE will notice your absence.”

I wanted to hear more about Aya Lee, but I knew he was right. “Okay,” I said. “Keep me posted on what’s next.”

“On my honor.” Zane pressed two fingers over his heart. “Link, you’ll see Dax out?”

I left in a chorus of goodbyes and well wishes. As we walked out the door the conversation turned back to Aya Lee.

“Seriously Zane, what are we going to do?” Oena said.

“What we always do,” he replied.

“She’s a kid.”

“She’s a risk.”

“There are other ways to contain a threat.”

Their voices were lost as Link and I walked down the hall. “I don’t like the way that conversation was going,” he muttered. “Aya’s a sweet kid. I’ve met her.”

“What do you think will happen?” I hadn’t liked the conversation any more than Link.

“I don’t know, Dax. I’ve spent a week with these people now. I like them. They’ve got a bunch of good ideas. But they’re radicals. They’re just as bad as the ministry in some ways. Zane sees people as chips on a board to move, and I’m still trying to figure out what he’s moving them toward. Destiny happens, and you never know how it’s going to play out. Aya is a perfect example. Her destiny is to expose the Revenants, but it might be the Revenants getting involved that triggers her destiny to occur. Either way, using a child isn’t the right way for the Revenants to get their point across.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t listen to Zane?” I said. “Or to any of them?”

“I guess I’m just telling you to keep your own council first,” he said. “We’re still figuring them out. Until we do, the safest thing either of us can do is pay attention to ourselves. Do what we think is right.”

“Sooooo,” I said, stretching the word out. “You think I should head up and tell the world to bow down to my new status?”

He cuffed me on the top of the head. “That’s not what I meant, Dax.”

“Kidding,” I said. “Mostly.”

I gave him a quick hug and climbed back up the ladder, to the sun and the running trail, to the PAE surveillance and my classmates’ hatred, and to my eventual future as Minister Dax Harris. I could be patient. My future would wait for me to catch up. And when I did, New City was going to change, whether the rest of the ministry liked it or not.

I
told my father that I needed to walk to school the next day, that the fresh air would do me good. My injury was almost healed and it felt good to finally move around. More importantly, I just needed to have the time alone to clear my mind.