Ash (19 page)

She gently touched my hand. “It’s okay if it’s too hard.”

“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head. “It’s just that I’ve never really talked about her before with someone who didn’t know her. Sometimes, it’s so hard.”

“Yeah, I can’t even begin to imagine. Marco said she died last year.”

I looked at her, her face never once changing its expression. She was serious.

“That’s true,” I replied. “She was sick for a long time. At one point, we thought she had beaten the cancer, but after everything we’d been through, we got the news no one ever wants to hear.”

“I’m so sorry, Ash. I really am.”

“Yeah, it is what it is. There are days when I look at Jake, and I see her in every facial expression, the way he laughs, right down to how he eats. He’s a constant reminder of the woman I will never see again. But apparently, I can’t spend the rest of my life grieving, or so I am told.”

“That’s bullshit. I can’t imagine you ever getting over her,” Sophia said. “Yeah, you might learn to live with it, move on, but she’ll always be there. That’s the thing about loss. It’s so permanent, yet time refuses to stand still. You never catch a break or your breath. It sucks, and it’s something none of us escapes, one way or the other.”

“You sound like you speak from experience,” I said.

“My loss was something entirely different. I never got to make amends with my grandfather. He died about four years ago, around the time I was finally getting my life back on track. The guilt of never seeing him before he passed will remain with me forever. He had been the one who truly saw the worth in me and never stopped believing that I could change my life. It is one of my biggest regrets and I can’t have another on my conscience. This makes my choice to go back to New Orleans as good a reason as any.”

I understood her the more she spoke. For a woman who refused to wear her heart on her sleeve, she was certainly opening up to me. The funny thing was, I wanted to tell her all my woes. To invite her into my world. That was a prospect I hadn’t prepared myself for.

“You love your mother, huh?” she asked.

“She’s been my rock. She always has. I was a bad-assed little motherfucker back in the day.”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the least.” She smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, go easy on me. I made some wrong choices and paid the price.”

My phone buzzed. I saw Danny’s name flash across the screen.

“Two secs,” I said before answering the call. “Hey.”

“Where’ve you been all night?” he asked.

I looked at Sophia and smiled. “At a friend’s. Why? What’s up?”

“Dude, Marcy actually fucking contacted me.” He sounded pissed.

“What? When?”

“Last night. She called me, giving me the rundown on how she is going to destroy you,” Danny said.

I looked at Sophia, and I straightened my posture. “What else did she say?”

“That you owe her big time, and that everyone would know how obsessed you were when she was pregnant.”

I could hear the condemnation in his voice. He was already judging me.

“Danny, where are you?”

“Oh, just hanging around, trying to figure out if my best friend had actually been fucking the woman I had intended on marrying.”

I swallowed hard. “Danny, listen to me, she’s fucking with your head because she can’t get her own way.”

“I don’t know, Ash. She was very convincing. You know, giving me little details, the kind of stuff that she shouldn’t really know.”

I let out an exasperated breath and shook my head. “I’m on my way.”

I hung up the phone and stared at Sophia.

“It’s okay. Go to him. It sounds like something is wrong,” she said.

“Are you sure? I don’t want it to seem like I am running out on you.”

Her smile told me not to worry. She was calm and not at all annoyed that Danny had interrupted our time.

“Ash, just go. You can call me later, if you like,” she stated.

I curled a hand around her face. “Okay. You’ll hear from me later.” I kissed her cheek.

Leaving her without getting to discuss her options on avoiding having to transfer didn’t bode well with me. Unfortunately, Marcy had begun her little smear campaign, and she was going after those closest to me. Never a good move.

Danny unlocked his front door and didn’t bother greeting me.

“Hey, what the fuck is going on?” I shouted.

“You tell me, Ash.”

He switched the volume of the television down and stared at me. It had been a long while since I last saw Danny this wound up. Things were bad when he avoided starting the conversation.

“So I guess Marcy has been telling tales?” I said, and sat down.

He sat down and clasped his hands together. “She had some interesting information.”

“Like what?”

Rage built deep in the pits of my stomach. On rare occasions, Danny sometimes infuriated me. This just so happened to be one of them.

“Like how you two got real close after the egg transfer. All the late night stops when you should have been going home to Connie, not to mention the gifts.”

I could see the hurt in his eyes.

“She told you all that, huh?” I shook my head.

“Is it true?”

I sat back and stared at my best friend. His expression dulled. The light had gone from him. His face was unshaven, and his eyes had rings under them.

“Partly,” I replied. “But not how she has made it out. She would call me, nonstop, telling me she needed this, or had ran out of that. I did what any decent person would have done. I went out of my way for her, and this is the bullshit she’s coming up with?” I ran a hand over my head and let out a breath. “Danny, on Jake’s life, there was nothing seedy about me trying to help the woman carrying mine and Connie’s child.”

“Then, why is she saying this?”

“Because she wants to hurt me. You know how she is. You warned me yourself that she would do anything to get her own way.”

Danny didn’t reply. He stared at his hands. Sadness clouded his features.

“What else did she say? Because there’s no way in hell you are acting like this over a few seedy rumours.”

He looked at me and shrugged. “She pointed out a few things that hurt.”

“Meaning?”

Danny got up, pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and started pacing.

“You need to calm down, man,” I said, raising my voice. “What shit has that bitch concocted?”

Danny stopped moving and looked at me. His face relaxed a little, and his eyes filled with tears. He’d been hurt by that cold-hearted whore, and nothing vexed me more.

“She mentioned how you drove a wedge between us. I asked her what she meant, and she said she had feelings for you. Even when she and I were together. Do you know how that made me feel?”

“Danny, you’ve got to believe me, that woman is poison. We both know how cruel she can be. Look how she ditched you at the altar, not to mention kicking you out of your own home. Like seriously, are you really going to believe the shit she’s spewing?”

Danny didn’t reply. This was something he did as a kid. Even now, as a grown man, he sometimes found it hard to trust those he loved the most. He’d been the product of an unhealthy home environment, and sometimes, those scars didn’t heal well.

“I know you have trouble believing me, but you know me, Danny. You’ve been through everything with me, so you shouldn’t doubt my loyalty or friendship.”

“She made you out to be the bad guy,” he said, at last.

“Of course, she did,” I snapped. “She wants the one thing she can never get from me.”

“So, where were you?”

I couldn’t lie to him. I refused to give him any reason to doubt me.

“I was with Sophia.”

“Is it serious?”

“I don’t think so. It’s just sex,” I lied. “Marcy annoyed the fuck out of me. I didn’t know where I was going, or what I was doing, and I landed at her door.”

“You don’t hang about, Benton,” he said, and smiled.

“Danny, I haven’t the first clue about what I’m doing. I’m just winging it. Seeing how it goes. She has no expectations, and neither do I.” I relaxed a little, even though my stomach continued to spin.

“I think she could be good for you.”

“You think anyone with a pussy would be good for me,” I replied, and smirked. “But seriously, don’t let Marcy get to you. Block her number and pretend she doesn’t exist.”

Danny pulled his phone from his pocket and threw it at me. “You do the honors.”

I had no problem with erasing Marcy from his life. Deep down inside, Danny had trouble with cutting all ties. Even on days when he spewed his hatred. It had been hard watching him fall apart when she was a no show at the altar. His world crumbled down around him. He had loved her, worshipped the ground she walked on. No matter how much he despised her for breaking his heart, letting go was taking him longer than I expected.

“Done!” I said, blocking her number and handing him the phone. “How about you join Jake and me for dinner?”

He shook his head.

“Why not? You know Jake loves you.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I feel like such a fucking loser.”

“Yeah, the loser part I can’t fix, but the rest . . . well, nothing a few beers with your brother can’t cure,” I said.

Danny raised his hands. “Okay. You’ve twisted my arm. Just know that it was dinner with Jake and not drinks with you.”

I smirked and said nothing. This was Danny’s way of saying thanks.

Jake was busy playing with his truck when I opened the front door and walked in. He smiled when he saw me.

“Daddy!” He squealed and bounced into my arms.

“Hey, buddy,” I replied, and kissed his cheek.

Jake looked over my shoulder and his face lit up. “Uncle Danny!” He jumped out of my embrace and pounced on Danny.

I left them to it, and walked into the kitchen, where my mother stood by the table, folding laundry.

“Hey, Mom.” I strolled over to her and kissed her cheek.

“Good day to you, too, sweetheart.” She gave me a curious look.

“What?” I asked, feeling sheepish.

“Where did you get to last night?” She winked at me.

“Oh, Mom, come on, less of that, huh?”

She chuckled and set the folded clothes into a basket. “Jake slept the whole night in his room.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes.”

I sat down at the breakfast bar and picked up an orange from the fruit bowl. “That’s pretty amazing.” I peeled the skin. “How are you?”

“Oh, I am good, baby,” she replied, and touched my arm. “Now tell me about the girl.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Mom! Seriously, do we have to?”

“I know there’s a girl. You have that look in your eye.”

“What look?”

She smirked at me. “The one that says you’re falling in love.”

Why did my mother have to bring feelings into this? It wasn’t love or anything like that. It was just good sex and the promise of something more. I wasn’t looking to find someone to replace Connie. That was never on my agenda. Sophia found something within me that she connected with. My only plan was taking each day as it came.