Ash: Devil's Crucifix MC (14 page)

With each one of my steps nearer to her, I wonder why I’m here and why I am chasing down this creature. She isn’t like me, and she will never be. This is just another piece of ass, great at fucking and with an independent spirit that makes my dick hard -- but ultimately, just another piece of ass, right?

But as I watch a light flicker on in the top floor of the firehouse, something stronger than any of my doubts and fears tells me I can’t let this be the end of us. Her walking away was me giving up; and that was almost as bad as walking back into the farmhouse after all those years. All those dreams of a normal life away from the club are fading with her, but I can’t let go. I am going to make Dani understand what it is like to be with a real man.

“Dani! Hey! Dani!” There’s a knock at my hotel room door as I struggle to open my eyes. It’s still dark out, almost pitch black. I roll over to check the old rotary clock on the side table, but without my contacts, I can barely make out the blurry red numbers. I grab my one pair of nerdy glasses and slip them on. It’s only 2 AM. I just finished a training shift an hour or two ago. No wonder it’s taking me so long to wake up.

“Dani! Open the damn door! You know who it is!”

Ugh. Ash again. I should have known when I first heard that knock who it was. I would ignore it, but the last time I did that, I had to deal with hotel management threatening to kick me out for bringing rowdy guests into the building.

But Ash isn’t exactly my guest. Over the last few weeks, he has been nonstop in pursuing me. What for, I can’t say. But almost every day has been one new thing after another. First, there were the flowers with the pink and white apology card. The note was almost indecipherable. All I could make out was the childish signature at the very bottom and the underlined words of “I’M SORRY!”

Then came the flood of gifts. Suddenly, those boys who were watching me everywhere I went became Ash’s personal deliverymen, like UPS guys dressed up in leather. The day after the flowers arrived, there was a box full of new clothes at my door. None of it was really my taste; it was all skimpy, black leather, and boots. At the bottom of the package was a t-shirt with his club’s logo on it. I hate to admit it, but I actually did wear that around the gym when I knew I wouldn’t be spotted. But seriously, who the hell wears assless leather chaps anywhere except in the bedroom? And there was no way in hell Ash was ever going to get to see me in them.

Next came candy and food. I’ve never been self-conscious of my weight before, but I knew I had to have packed on some pounds after the daily pizza delivery, the fresh baked cookies from one of the top bakeries in town, and the trays of homemade lasagna and shrimp pasta. There was champagne, too. Lots of it. But as much as I wanted to pop those corks, I didn’t dare out of some small fear they had been tampered with. You never know with a guy like Ash. Maybe I’d wake up with a hood over my head and a ball gag in my mouth. And with Ash, that could mean anything from kidnapping and torture to sex and…well, torture.

Finally, after the first week of present overload, Ash Cooper had the nerve (or the courage, depending on how you looked at it) to come meet me face to face. I was in the firehouse, of course, working out. It was my third session of the day, and I was putting my body through some pretty harsh punishments. With only a week till my firefighter test, I knew I couldn’t let myself slack.

By 11 that night, the place was completely empty. Half the crew had run out to get some groceries while the rest were catching up on sleep from yet another long night of dealing with arsons. Two more popped up at old homes in the industrial neighborhood in just a short period of time. Luckily for me, I was off. I could focus on pulling weights and doing stair climber exercises in peace.

Then, Ash walked in. He was wet from the drizzling rain misting over the streets. He shook his head furiously when he finally found cover indoors. The drips of water dropped from him and onto the floor and that same old leather jacket. I didn’t bother stopping what I was doing to greet him. I kept my eyes straight on the television above my head as I rounded out mile four of my sprint.

He sauntered over towards me, a red, half-wilted sunflower in his hand. It took every bit of me not to smile at that. It was just such an innocent, boyish gesture for a guy like him. “You wanna stop that machine of yours and come talk to me?” he asked.

I sucked in a deep breath, as deep as I could take given my run’s tempo. “No,” I said flatly. “I’m working out.”

“You’re always working out,” he said, a slight grin coming to his lips.

“Yeah, well, I am trying to get a job with the fire department here, and my test is in a week. I’m not stopping for anyone.”

“Fine. I’ll wait. How much longer do you have to go?”

“6 miles.”

Ash walked over to a metal folding chair across the room and returned to my side. I watched from the corner of my eye as he sat down next to the treadmill and began watching the late night news. Of course, almost with perfect timing, a story of the night before’s fire popped on the screen.

Ash didn’t even bother listening to the report. “It’s the same guy,” he said. It wasn’t even a question or an accusation – it was just a fact. And one I already had gotten to.

“We know that,” I replied breathlessly. I instantly regretted engaging him at all.

“No, I don’t think you understand,” he said. “That was one of our old houses. It was a safe house. We hid our guys there who were wanted until the smoke cleared. It wasn’t a very good hiding place with all those windows, though. Cover was blown after a few months of using it.”

“A family lived there,” I told him. It was almost a test to see if he has any humanity left in him.

“Did they get out?” he asked, pulling himself forward on the chair and dipping his back down so his elbows rest on his knees. I could see him look up to me earnestly wanting to know what happened.

Well, at least he’s not a sociopath.

“Yeah,” I told him mid-stride. “We got there in time.”  

He went silent as he sat back and watched the rest of the news. The minutes passed by slowly as I tried to keep up with my speed. With Ash there, though, I couldn’t focus and I found myself desperate to slow down, to stop even. I managed to push through somehow as I closed my eyes and just let the rhythm of my feet take over.

When I finally dismounted, Ash stood and offered me his hand. “That looks like hell,” he said, grinning. “I don’t understand why anyone would want to be a gerbil.”

“You mean a hamster in a wheel?”

“Hamster, gerbil, whatever the fuck,” he said, running his hands through his hair. As I toweled myself down, he turned his attention back to what he came here for. “I want to know why you haven’t responded to any of my gifts,” he said. Again, his tone was different. He wasn’t challenging me or trying some kind of intimidation tactic – he was honestly, earnestly asking, like a teenage boy with a crush.

“I didn’t ask for any of it,” I replied curtly, pulling my ponytail out and redoing it. “I don’t know why you think you could bribe me to forgive you.”

“I don’t want your forgiveness,” he said. “I want you to go out with me.”

“What?” I was completely stunned. Here I thought all of this was to say he was sorry for the shitty way he treated me the other night and for going back on his promise, but he just wanted to weasel his way back in.

“I want you to go out with me,” he repeated. “Like, on a date.”

I glared at him. “After all that, all the bullshit, you’re--”

Anticipating my question, he cuts me off. “No,” he says. “Nothing has changed. I’m not going to tell you who the guy is. I don’t trust you enough yet.”

“You don’t trust me?” I practically exploded. “Then why the hell are you here, Ash?”

He stepped towards me, a giant to my petite size. His long arms reached out and somehow found their way to my hips. I couldn’t even pull away if I tried. “I came here because the other night was something totally different from what I get with the other girls in the club. You’re not shy like them. You take what you want, and I like that. I can’t stop thinking about that sweet little pussy of yours. I haven’t even washed my jacket cause it still smells like you.”

I wanted to be disgusted at him, but I couldn’t. His arms at my hips rubbing lightly at my skin, his eyes boring holes in mine, his pink lips parting…oh God…

I pushed him away quickly, finally finding my head. “No, Ash,” I snapped, pushing him away. “No, I’m not doing this again.
We’re
not doing this again.”

He flashed me a piercing stare that was almost -- but not quite -- threatening. “Then I’ll be back,” he said, somehow without animus. “I’ll be back until you see what I see. You and me, we’re supposed to be together.”

I didn’t say another word. Instead, I picked up a few weights and began to curl them in my arms. My back faced away from Ash as he slid quickly out the door. In the distance, I could hear his motorcycle blaze up and drive off.

I would hear that same sound every single day for the next five days. He would appear while I was grocery shopping, while I doing laundry at the shop, even while I visited my mom on my day off. And each time, my answer for him was always no.

Tonight was going to be no different. I don’t even bother slipping on clothes. My boy shorts and sports bra would be enough. He continues to knock as I swing open the door and shout loudly, “What the fuck are you doing, Ash? Do you know what time it is?”

His mouth hangs open wide as he takes me in. “I think I came at exactly the right time.” He pushes past me and sits on the hotel’s old green couch next to a sack of groceries I had forgotten to put away earlier. He pats the open side with his hand, but I refuse to go sit next to him. I stand near the door, hoping he will make a quick exit like usual.

“What do you want, Ash?”

“I want to ask you out again.”

“No.”

“Then I’m not leaving until you say yes.”

“Then you get to watch me sleep because I’m not staying up any longer. I have my fire department exam this weekend. And you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Great. I’ll sleep with you.” Ash stands up and walks over to the bed. One by one, he unties his shoes and drops them to the ground. Next, he strips off his jacket, jeans, and shirt. To my surprise, he folds them up neatly and places them on the bedside table.

Despite being totally taken with that chiseled body, I cross my arms over my chest and stand firm, “Like hell you’re sleeping in that bed with me. I will call the cops.”

“No you won’t,” he teases. “You don’t want me to leave. I can see the way you’re ogling me.”

“Ogling? What motorcycle god uses the word ‘ogle’?”

“I do. But I could use other words like leering, or maybe even eye-fucking…”

I tap my toe impatiently on the floor as I try to think of my options. He isn’t going to move, and the clock is winding down. I have to be up in a few short hours if I want to get in a morning run before my shift…ugh! Why does he have to be such a jerk!

With my face in a permanent pout, I walk back towards the door and lock the deadbolt and then turn off the overhead lights. In the dark, I put out my hands, searching for the end of the bed. What I find is his thick, muscular leg poking out from under one of the hotel’s thin sheets. My hand tries to fly away, but he catches me as he laughs. I tumble over his body and down into the empty side of the bed.

“Please, don’t touch me. I really just want to go to bed.”

“So do I,” he protests. “You think I spend my days looking for ways to taunt you? I work, too, Dani. Believe it or not.”

“Oh, I believe it, Ash,” I snap, unable to hide my sarcasm. “I believe it’s called drug smuggling and murdering your enemies.”

He answers me totally deadpan, “It’s hard work.”

“I’m sure it is,” I say, repressing my instinct to smile at his delivery.

I feel a hand slide across my bare hip and rest just around my thigh. He pulls me in closer to him as he whispers, “I like something to hold onto when I sleep.”

I’ve just about had it with him. My blood is boiling and I’m ready to go off. My legs spin around, leaping on top of his hips. My arms shoot across his chest as I lean all of my weight down to pin him in place. Ash looks up completely disarmed as his hands shoot up by his head. “Woah there, girl.”

“Shut up!” I scream out, totally without fear. “I don’t want you here! I don’t want you at all! Do you get me? You are a grade-A asshole who thinks he knows everything and can get anything he wants. It’s not working on me. I’m going to say th---”