Ashes Under Uricon (The Change Book 1) (15 page)

“Let’s go down to the lake,” I said, excitement building in my voice. Just being outside was exhilarating enough in itself, but I needed to pay a visit to the one place that most gave me inner strength. Eluned was as thrilled as I was to be out in the open once again, and we hurried down the winding path to the lakeside, hand in hand like two children. She only paused briefly when we passed through the ruined village, and in no time at all we were standing on the edge of the lake.

That day the water was like a mirror. The surface was absolutely still, nothing disturbed it, not a bird, not a fish, not even an insect that we could see. Leaning forward, I could see Eluned’s reflection and mine quite clearly. For a moment or two I stared at these. Eluned stood, her face impassive as always, her white shift falling loosely over her body, except where it was pulled a little taut by the girdle around her waist. She appeared to be slightly smaller than me, which took me by surprise as she had always been taller than me before. Her blonde hair cascaded around her shoulders, outlining the pale skin of her face.

My eyes followed her arm down to her hand, which loosely held my own, and I followed up my arm to see myself. Unlike Eluned, I had changed in so many ways since the first time I had seen myself in this watery mirror. As I mentioned, I was now taller than she was, my shoulders were broader, my breasts fuller and my waist more defined. I now wore my long dark hair down over one shoulder, so that it fell over one side of my face, while the other side was tucked behind my ear, falling down my back. The person who had still been not much more than a young girl when she arrived at this place was now a young woman.

I turned away from the lake and took Eluned’s other hand in mine. Looking into her face, I said, “You never seem to change, do you? And yet I have changed so much. Not only on the outside.”

She smiled, “You are becoming what has been foretold, my lady. At all times I have been your hand-maiden. Always I shall be with you, unchanged and unchanging. ‘That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled.’”

“The Lady speaks again, yes?”

“It is my honour to be her vessel, my lady.”

“Then, tell me, Eluned. Where is she? Where can I look to find her? Here we are, watching our reflections in the still water of this lake. Is the Lady visible anywhere? I would so like to meet her.”

“My lady, she
is
the water of the lake. You see only your reflection since you do not yet look deep enough. The trees that see themselves in this lake – they see her. They know she is their life source. As do the birds which fly across it, and the fish which swim through it. All of this is the Domina. She is the air that we breathe. As I am with you, so is she.”

I shook my head a little. Eluned frequently spoke like this when we were out in the grounds of the house. Whether we were in the woods, or the field with its sheep, or here, as now, on the lakeside, she seemed to think that this thing – this person – she called the Lady was everywhere. At the time, I found it enough to take pleasure in the lake itself, the trees, the lambs that set out to explore the field in the same way every year. This was so different to the world of the caster I had come from.

I turned away from the lake, conscious of Taid’s request that we stay out no longer than an hour. “I sometimes wish I could believe as you do,” I said to Eluned.

“Look around you, my lady. ‘As for these things which you behold, the days will come, in the which there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.’” We were passing through the ruined village once again. “You see this, so you believe it. The rest takes time.”

When we arrived back at the house and entered the library at last, I was stunned when the Professors all stood and clapped as we came in. They gathered around me, telling me how grateful they were that I was going to assist them. The clamour of their voices was just as it was at meal times in the dining room, only this time I was at the centre of it – I was the cause of it.

For the next several months, in a manner that was unceasing, as I have already said, I learned probably all that had ever been written about the strange person they believed was me. Day after day, new texts were laid before me while one or other of the Professors struggled to translate or explain what they contained. They mostly seemed to concentrate on the books which were about prophecies, as they seemed convinced that it was here they – and I – would find out most about what we were intended to do.

As usual, I found the tasks difficult and enervating. I fell into my bed every night exhausted. Following breakfast I would return to the library, often to be presented with another piece of writing that only seemed to contradict what I had read the previous day, but which the Professor sitting with me would try to assure me was further proof. Everything, it appeared, was written in the form of a metaphor. None of these writers – most of them were called ‘Saint’ something or other – appeared capable of or willing to write plain facts. I would struggle through a page or so of writing, desperately trying to follow as the Professor translated or explained, only to be told that what I had just read did not mean what it said.

At first, and perhaps understandably, I felt frustrated by this, thinking that I must be particularly dull if there was not one single book that meant anything to me. Or told its story in a straightforward way so that when I could read it, I could also understand it. As time passed, some of it did become clearer, if only in a muddled way. I began to see that many of the texts were actually copies of other texts, or used the same material, only in a slightly different way. I began to detect patterns. Patterns in the way these prophecies were told on the surface, and, consequently, patterns in the way they could be interpreted. My notes, scribbled on increasingly fewer sheets of paper, slowly began to take shape. Instead of simply writing down a couple of pages of new notes with every text, I began to be able to pause the Professor while I turned back to previous notes, discovering the same ideas, sometimes even the same words, previously written down.

Towards the end, I had managed to control the volume of material that was set before me, giving me time to read through my notes before I began with a new text. In this way I could spot a pattern emerging as it did so, rather than long after it had gone. I began to feel that I might actually succeed in the process that I was undertaking.

Sadly, I was not to be allowed the time to develop that feeling any further.

Almost a full year had passed before I summoned up the courage, bolstered by my increasing ability to understand my tasks, to ask if I could finish early in order to take a walk outside. Once again, I was beginning to feel cloistered, trapped. I needed to breathe the air of the lake again. To refresh my inner strength for what I felt was going to be the final stretch of my studies. After a short discussion, and much tut-tutting, Taid told me that I could go, but would have to make up the time when I returned. This seemed a reasonable compromise.

Hand in hand with Eluned, I set off down the path we had walked all those months previously. Although it was roughly the same time of year, the weather was not so good. There were dark clouds rushing across the sky and the trees of the wood and those around the lake were being blown about noisily.

“I fear there may be rain, my lady,” Eluned said, looking up as we reached the ruined village.

I stopped, looking around me. “Well, we may get wet in that case. Is there anywhere to shelter from the rain in these ruins?”

“I would not like to do that, my lady,” Eluned said, reminding me that when we had come here in the past she had seemed to be looking for something, or someone.

“Well, then, let’s go down to the lake, where we will stay for just a short while. We should be able to get back to the house before the rain begins.”

We carried on past the houses down to the lakeside. As the wind was higher than before, the surface of the lake was covered in small waves, some of which broke heavily upon the rocky shoreline. We could hear the wind rushing through the trees and the piercing squeals of birds high above us. We stood, shivering slightly in our light shifts, yet I still felt that somehow I was being restored inwardly.

“Is the Lady here today?” I asked, not looking at Eluned.

“Today and every day, my lady.”

“In the wind and the cries of the birds?”

“Without the Domina there is no wind, there are no birds. She is here always, ‘even unto the end of the world’. She is me. She is you. She is everyone and everywhere. You are becoming the one we have been waiting for these long years. You ...
you
are the gateway to the house of the Domina. Soon, very soon, you will guide us as we pass through the gates.”

I turned towards her. I could say nothing but, “Hmmm.” I squeezed her hand. Looking up at the sky as it darkened further, I said, “Come on. We’d best be going.” As I spoke a large raindrop splashed on her face, followed by one on mine. I squealed, lifted the skirts of my shift and headed away from the lake. Holding my hand, Eluned followed.

When we reached the ruined village she suddenly stopped, pulling me up. “Why are you stopping? The rain is really starting to fall now. Come on.” I tugged at her hand, but she remained rooted to the spot. I tried to prise my hand out of hers but she gripped me with a strength that I had never felt before.

“There is one house,” she whispered. “It is not as ruined as these others.” She turned and pulled me along a path that led away from our usual one.

“What are you doing?” I said as the rain started to pour. “It would be better for us to run up to the house, rather than try to shelter down here. We don’t know how long this rain will last.”

She ignored me and pulled me onwards. Turning off the path again, we reached a house that was still half-standing. Most of the roof remained intact, which meant that the rain ceased as she pulled me underneath it.

“Too late,” she gasped, out of breath. “It is all too late. Oh, my lady. Too late.”

“What are you on about, Eluned? Too late for what? I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s only rain. It doesn’t matter if we get a bit wet. The others will be waiting for us.”

She turned towards me. “They will wait no longer, my lady.”

I was now becoming more than agitated. She was beginning to frighten me. “Of course they’ll wait. They know where we are. They know we’re coming. I still think we ought to make a run for it, even if we do get wet.”

She pulled me further into the ruin, pressing herself up against one of its walls. With her free hand she pointed through what had once been a window.

A huge flash lit up the sky, followed by a sheet of orange and red flame. A few seconds later there was a tremendous detonation and the ruined walls around us shook, clouds of dust rose up and small pieces of stone crashed down. Some of the remaining slates fell from the roof and the rain cascaded in, soaking us.

Bewildered and confused, I threw my hands up over my face, Eluned still holding one in her vice-like grip. I screamed.

“Be silent, my lady,” Eluned hoarsely whispered into my ear. “Pray be silent. We must not be discovered.”

“Discovered? What do you mean, discovered?” I dropped the hand she held while I pulled back my hair that was dripping onto my face. “What on earth was that … that …” It dawned on me what we had heard and felt. “It was an explosion, wasn’t it? Why was there an explosion? Eluned. Tell me.” I was sobbing, my words coming as gasps.

“Alas, my lady. It is as was feared. They have discovered us.”

“They? Who? Who has discovered us? Are you saying that explosion was up at the house?” I pulled away from her. “We must get up there. What about Taid? And the others? Who has done this?”

“Those who guard your world have done this. They fear us. They fear our work.”

Her words slowly sank in. “You mean the Guards? I thought they did not know where we were. Why would they blow up the house? Surely it was just an accident. Something ...” I gave up. I knew the truth. The Guards were perfectly capable of this. If they had discovered the library they would have no alternative but to destroy it completely. But what of its occupants? Surely they would not blow up the house with everyone in it? Would they?

“There is still shelter in the other room,” Eluned said, pulling my hand. “We must go there. Quickly. My lady.” She pulled me further back into the ruin through what had once been a door. Again, in this part of the building, the roof was mostly intact, despite the shaking of the explosion. Against the side wall was a small bench of sorts, made up of a slab of slate resting on two large stones. She sat me down on this before kneeling down before me. “Pray be calm, my lady. Though I know you fear, we must remain here until morning comes.”

I looked at her. “Until morning comes? That means we sit here all night. Are you mad? I want to know what has happened to Taid. We have to go up there now. I don’t care how dangerous it is. I can’t sit here while Taid may be lying up there injured. Or worse.”

“He will be well, my lady. They will take them. They will need to question them. But they must not discover you.”

Finally the shock overwhelmed me. I began to shiver, unable to stop myself. Tears rolled down my cheeks. The last thing I remember was Eluned gently easing me into a lying position on the bench. I heard her saying, “Sleep. Sleep,” as I slipped into oblivion.

PART FOUR

Final Preparations

I awoke cold, stiff and exhausted. There was a grey light that could have been early morning or late evening. The rain had stopped. I tried to sit up but my arms and legs were so cramped that I could barely move them. Slowly, I massaged life back into my fingers before rubbing my arms and legs. My shift was damp, my hair hung over my face, obscuring my sight. After what seemed an age, I was able to swing my legs down and sit up. Eluned lay in a heap on the floor beneath me, still asleep. I prodded her in the back with one foot and she stirred.