Ask Me (15 page)

I shuffled uneasily at the mention of the “q” word. The muted sobbing grew louder. Will spread his hand flat against my back and shifted his weight so that his side pressed against mine. I couldn’t help it, I peeked through the foliage to see if Alex or anyone else had noticed, but almost everyone was focused on the preacher. I did find Delilah’s eyes on me. She was seated in a pew to the far
right and had turned around, for what I didn’t know. She gave me a sad, lost smile then bent her attention back to the preacher.

“Whenever we lose someone we love suddenly, especially in such a horrific manner, we are left distraught and angry. Why, we ask. Why did this have to happen?”

I saw Delilah nod.

“Nothing had to happen,” I said under my breath, ducking my head behind the plant, glad that I’d had at least a little warning, “it was the will and the way.”

Will leaned toward me, like he was trying to hear what I was saying better. “Sorry,” I whispered. “I’ll try to be quieter.”

He turned his head so his lips were just above my ear. “Maybe you were right,” he said. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. We can leave, if you want.”

“I think I’m okay,” I said. I hoped that was true.

“We may not know the answer to that question today or ever,” the preacher continued. “Some questions have no earthly answers.”

I could argue that one.

“When someone is taken from us so young, someone with so much potential and love in their heart, the temptation is to dwell on what could have been, what should have been. We imagine all the experiences we would have wished for Jade, all of the things we hoped for her.” The preacher motioned towards the front row, and I saw Jade’s mother and father, their faces sallow and drawn in the light of the stained-glass window. “We should strive to remember Jade for what she did accomplish in this life. She was an excellent student, well loved by everyone who knew her. She
had a wonderful sense of humor and was a truly charitable individual, selfless to a fault, and always willing to give of herself and her time.” He leaned forward, both hands gripping the pulpit. “Jade was loved, and she will be missed, as evidenced by the crowd I see before me today. I urge you to remember the good times and the beauty of Jade’s life, even in these dark days of anguish. We should endeavor to rise up and not dwell in the darkness, always looking backwards, seeing only fear and bemoaning our loss. Let us celebrate her life, cut short as it was, and pray for justice as well.”

He bowed his head, and everyone joined him. “Our Heavenly Father,” he intoned, “you have not made us for darkness and death, but for life with you for ever and ever. Without you we have nothing to hope for, but with you we have nothing to fear. Speak to us your words of eternal life. Lift us from our despair and grief to the light and harmony of your presence and set the glory of your love before us, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.”

I said “Amen” along with everyone else and raised my head.

The preacher motioned for Jade’s mother to come forward. She clutched a crumpled tissue in one hand as she made her way to the podium.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming today,” she murmured. Her eyes were red-rimmed and fresh tear tracks were visible even from where I stood behind the plant. “I—” she started and stopped. “I appreciate what Reverend Jones has said,” she choked out, “but I just want to know: What kind of God allows things like this to happen?”

She broke down, but I barely noticed as an intense heat spread from my stomach all through my body. I opened my mouth, and I could feel my tongue beginning to form words, but I had no idea what I was saying as I collapsed sideways into Will.

The first sensation I had was one of heat bearing down on me. I blinked a few times and finally managed to drag my eyes open. Unbroken grey. Fuzzy. I was in Will’s car, reclined back in the passenger’s seat, staring up at the roof of the car.

“Quite the drama queen,” said Will.

“What?” I tried to sit up and fell back down as a wave of nausea hit me.

“Whoa,” he said, putting a hand on my shoulder to hold me down. “I was only kidding. Take it easy.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “How long was I out for? Did anyone see me?”

Will started the car. “Not long. And don’t worry about it. We were close to the door. Delilah saw. She made me promise to let her know you were okay. She was pretty much the only one. I got you out of there pretty quick.”

“Thanks,” I said, keeping my eyes closed. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. Not like you could help it.”

I stayed quiet for a few minutes, keeping my eyes closed and feeling the road pass beneath us. It was a much smoother ride than in the Colt, but I could feel it more now that I was on my back with my eyes closed. And my stomach was in revolt.

“Did you—” I cleared my throat. My voice sounded rusty even to my own ears. “Did you catch what my answer was? To Jade’s mom’s question?”

“Sorry,” he said. “I was too busy trying not to drop you. You were kind of mumbling anyway.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “Probably wasn’t decipherable anyway.”

GRANDDAD POKED HIS HEAD
in the front door with his hand over his eyes. “We’re comin’ in,” he called out, “so you better be decent!” I threw one of the lopsided pillows from the couch at him, and he laughed as he threw it back.

“Porter!” said Gran. “There you go again!” She bumped him through the door with her bony hip and carried some bags into the kitchen.

“Will’s gone now,” I said. “And he was a perfect gentleman, like he told you he would be.”

He’d gone beyond the call of duty. After driving me home, he’d sat and talked and stared at me with concerned eyes and only left after I had reassured him about fifty times that I was okay. He’d texted Delilah. (Why did
she even care so much if I passed out?) He’d even dug up some crackers for me from the kitchen.

“That’s suspicious,” said Granddad, sitting down next to me. “Something must be wrong with the boy then.” He patted me on the head like he used to do when I was a little girl.

I groaned at the lame joke of a hidden compliment. Granddad knew full well there wouldn’t be any boys in my life, not as long as I was cursed with Gran’s gift. Will was the first boy I had talked to pretty much ever and definitely the first I had ever had more than one semi-successful conversation with. But I was starting to wonder if the real reason Will kept coming back was because my weirdness intrigued him and not really because of me. And after what had happened today, I doubted if he’d want to be seen in public with me again, no matter what he said about it not being a big deal. Like girls fainted on him all the time.

Gran came back in and handed Granddad a glass of juice. She sat down on my other side, and the couch let out a squeak. “Everything good,” Gran stated. She looked at me, leaving off the question mark and asking it only with her eyes.

“Yes,” I said.
“I’m fine.”
I was a little annoyed that she kept asking. I wasn’t about to tell her I fainted in front of half the town. She’d probably tell me I needed to be stronger. “How was your day? Any customers?”

“No,” said Granddad. “Slim pickings. The cops came by, and that was our excitement for the day. Ellie did get one of the state troopers to buy a jar of marmalade, though.”

“What did they come by for?”

“Just seeing if we’d seen or heard anything, I guess,” said Gran. “I offered to do a reading for them, but they didn’t take me up on it.”

That didn’t surprise me. Gran didn’t try to hide her belief in prophecy, but people just thought she was a kooky old woman and humored her. I’d bet the trooper had offered to buy the marmalade
after
she’d said she’d do a reading for him. Another sympathy purchase. I sometimes wondered what would happen if people actually took her seriously. Had they ever when she was younger and had the true gift?

“I think they’re hoping the girl’s death was an accident somehow or a transient or something,” said Granddad. “They’ve never had this kind of crime happen around here before. First that hit-and-run and then that poor girl. They just aren’t set up for such things here, beyond setting up a tip line.” He jerked his head toward the couch, strewn with newspaper. “Called in for some help from down south. They’re no strangers to death down there.”

That pricked my conscience. I was positive Jade’s death was no accident, though I still didn’t see how exactly the two deaths were related. But they obviously were. Or, at least, so my inner oracle said.

“When I was talking with Will, he asked something, and I think I know something about that. About the first guy, I mean. The guy that got run over.” Gran and Granddad both looked at me, waiting. I stared down at my lap, uncomfortable. “I’m not sure what to make of it, but I think Jade was involved in the hit-and-run. Her car. It was the one that hit
him. I’m sure it had to have been an accident.” I couldn’t wrap my head around it, honestly. “Maybe when Jade was out on a date with this guy Alex from school …” The last part tumbled from my mouth the way my prophecies did, even though it had come from me.

They both started talking at once, and for a few minutes it was pandemonium as they were asking questions and I was trying to answer them. I held up my hands, and they stopped. I took a deep breath. “Thanks,” I said.

“Sorry,” said Granddad. “I’m always—”

“Forgetting. I know, Granddad, it’s okay. Anyway, that’s all I know. We were just talking about her a little bit. Will said she’d been acting really strange.” I didn’t mention that he’d specifically used me to find out why she’d been acting so odd. Thankfully, my grandparents were so preoccupied by the news that they didn’t think to ask. And I didn’t mention that he blamed Alex for Jade’s death. I still wasn’t convinced. Even if Alex and Jade were somehow involved in the hit-and-run, that didn’t mean it had to be connected to Jade’s death, did it? Maybe I was grasping at straws.

“You have to tell the police, Aria,” said Gran finally.

It had not occurred to me that she would suggest such a thing. I suppose I should have expected it. She had, after all, offered to do a reading for an officer without blinking an eye.

“Gran, that’s all I know. And I don’t even know anything, really. Not exactly. Just that she was involved somehow. Her car, I guess, or something. You know how unclear my answers can be. Maybe she just witnessed it, and that’s it.
Besides, I’m sure they’ll figure it out for themselves.” I looked at Granddad. “Didn’t you say you saw them investigating the hit-and-run site?” I was babbling. I couldn’t help it. “This has nothing to do with me.”

He nodded, but it was Gran that took my chin in her hand. “Aria, that man has a family. He may not have been from around here. He may not have been the kind of person that most of the people around here would even care about. But he was a person and his family deserves to know what happened to him. And that boy Alex may have more information.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Who ran that man over?” she said quickly, before I could prepare myself.

“Water is like life,” I said, my voice filled with gravel. “It arrives madly, then recedes away faster, faster … leaving everything silent.”

That same nonsense again. I was sick of it. Though it did show that there was a clear connection between the deaths, for what that was worth.

I swallowed. “Gran,” I managed, once I was in control of my own speech again. “I just can’t. I can’t go to the police with stuff like … like
that.”
True, Will had learned about my gift, and it hadn’t been the disaster that I had always thought telling someone would be. But this was different. I could just imagine the look on the police officer’s face as I told him what I knew and how I knew it. Would he offer to buy marmalade from me? Or would he howl with laughter? He would probably think I was making fun. What would I think if I were in his shoes? It’s not like I could pretend to be a friend of Jade’s just now coming
forward with the information. Anyone who knew me at school would punch holes in that story right away.

Or maybe they’d lock me up in a mental institution.

She kept staring at me, her eyes sad, until finally she dropped my chin and nodded. “Think about it, Aria. This is important. Think long and hard. You know what it’s like to be on the outside.” She got up and went back to the kitchen. Granddad gave me a small smile and a pat on the shoulder and followed her.

Here I was again, alone. I ruffled through the paper and ripped out the tip-line number.

SLEEP WAS OUT OF
the question. I turned over and looked at my alarm clock for what must have been the fiftieth time. It was two thirty in the morning. I had been staring at the watermark on my ceiling, watching it staring back down at me, enigmatic snake eyes. There were no answers there. The only answers I had were inside me, and they weren’t helping now. They never had.

I blew out a breath and got up, putting on a threadbare bathrobe I’d inherited from Granddad. Years ago it had been flannel. Now it was a blue-and-grey plaid whisper of itself. I took the screen out of my window and quietly climbed through so the creak of the front door wouldn’t give me away. Neither Gran nor Granddad had particularly good hearing anymore. I could hear them both snoring, but I wasn’t going to chance it. I didn’t feel like making a speech.