Ask No Tomorrows (14 page)

That was the problem with the kiss, he thought as he obliged.
They were merely putting their lips together, not because of
feelings, but more as an experiment to see if they might fit
together. But for some reason he was sorely disappointed that there
was no fire in her kiss. Her lips slipped recklessly over his, but
there was no fire in the way she kissed. In fact, she acted as
though it were something she had to do, not wanted to do. Her lips
barely moved beneath his and she stirred nothing inside him. Oh he
reacted, but not for long, for he knew she wasn
’t consumed with fire for him, she
just wanted a replacement for her dead husband.

Sam
pondered that point for a long moment as he let his lips slide over
her wide full mouth. His hands went around her, but she was much
bigger than Riley and his hands wouldn
’t fit around her breast and hold all of her. He
hated her slobberin’ all over him, but he was too much the
gentleman to say so. He felt her body heating to his, but there was
nothing about her that interested him and he wondered at that. Had
Riley spoiled him against black women? He tried harder to get a
response, but there simply was no fire. He kissed her thoroughly
wanting to prove that Riley’s kisses hadn’t spoiled it for
him.

But
even though his mouth opened and his tongue sought hers, she
leisurely let him have her tongue to play with, but she
wasn
’t eager. In
fact, she was passive; either she knew nothing about making love,
or she just felt nothing. She could have been chopping wood as far
as he was concerned. There was no passion. He tried a little
harder, letting his tongue slide between her lips and mating it
with hers, but it did no good. She might have flirted wildly, but
her kisses told him either she had no feelings at all, or none for
him.

He tried
harder for a moment, letting his hands roam over her curves and
delving where she let him. His hands came over her breast and she
sighed against him. Her big nipples pebbled hard against his hand
and for an instant it gave him pleasure to touch her. Just the
womanly feel of nipples responding to his touch stirred him some.
Mavis didn’t mind, in fact she seemed to enjoy that, but she had no
feelings for him…just his touches.

It was like
she only wanted him to take the advantage.

He finally let
her go when he heard the kids coming back. All of them had seen
them and he was satisfied that he put on a good show for
Riley.

He saw how
pale Riley had gone, how a tear threatened to fall. Now he was
sorry he permitted Mavis to help him in his scheme. For he’d hurt
Riley and he knew it. But he learned something, when he hurt Riley
he hurt himself even more.

Best to hurt
her now than wait and hurt her later, when things might get out of
hand. But he remembered the differences in the kisses too and he
wondered if he really wanted to hurt Riley this way. When he kissed
Riley, she emitted fire and passion like a hot stove that comforted
all the right places. If only she weren’t white, he wouldn’t
hesitate making her his. Yet in the back of his mind, he wondered
if he’d already made her his. Because Riley was hurt from the looks
of her, but she tried to disguise it for everyone else’s sake. And
her hurt was his. Either that or the feelings shared with Riley
were real ones.

He had to
forget those kisses, somehow. But it wouldn’t be easy, and
especially since Mavis hadn’t been a bit of good at kissing. He’d
never known that there was such a thing as a good kisser and a bad
one. But there was.

He hitched the
horses and nodded to Riley. “We’ll be movin’ out now.”

Riley nodded,
but said nothing.

The deed was
done. Riley thought he loved Mavis and he should have been happy,
but he felt such a loss and couldn’t understand why.

After that,
Riley barely spoke to Sam. She kept her distance, and Sam kept
telling himself he was glad. But it bothered him
greatly.

He kissed
Mavis several times in front of them all, each time trying harder
to get a real reaction out of her. It didn’t happen. He didn’t
understand why. He touched her, fondling her to some extent, and
she reacted with a moan of pleasure, but there still was no fire
for him. The kids giggled and harassed Riley that they would soon
have a new daddy. Riley bit her lip and quelled her
tears.

Riley became
more withdrawn than ever, Sam noticed. He hated hurting her, but it
was for her own good. She’d never know that every time Mavis’
kisses were so bland he wanted to shove the woman away. Why she had
no fire confused Sam. She was black, she offered him everything,
but he didn’t want it. What was wrong with him? Maybe she really
did love her husband that died and just needed a man around. Or
maybe she was cold and unfeeling as she felt. Sam didn’t know, but
he sure had noticed the difference in Mavis and Riley
quickly.

He
kept trying to persuade himself that Mavis just
didn
’t fool around
as much as she seemed. But most whores were better than this. He
tried to romance her a little, but when he touched her it was
always the same, bland and unfeeling. She flirted endlessly with
Sam, and yet there was no feeling behind those flirts. Sam honestly
wished there was. It would make it simple to leave Riley, but deep
down he was shaking his head. There would be nothing simple about
leaving Riley and he knew it.

As they were
about to reach Dallas though, Mavis came up to him. “So…you really
gonna take him to the lawyer about his land?”

“
Yeah, I am…” Sam nodded. “I gave him my word I’d help. He’s
too wet behind the ears to know what to do or say.”

“
Why? It ain’t your concern. He’s white. What can you gain from
helping a white kid? I just don’t understand you. You know what I’m
offerin’ you. You’ve so much more with me,” Mavis insisted. “Let
him go his own way and come with me. We can make a fine family. I
want more children and we could make a bunch together. I like the
way you kiss me and I’m sure you’re lovin’ would be even better.
You shore know how to feel up my breasts, kinda slow like, enjoying
both of them. I can almost feel your lips on my nipples when you
touch me like that. I imagine your lips there, supping on me. I
like how you kiss me, so gentle. I don’t want to lose you, Sam. I
know we could make a good life together. I shore don’t want to let
you get away. You’re a fine man.”

Sam studied
Mavis, trying to figure out how a woman could flirt so and be so
cold. How she could think on having children with a man when there
was no feeling for that man. He didn’t want that kind of
relationship, or that kind of woman. He wanted what Hattie had…true
love.

The fact that
he had struck on what he wanted startled him. What Hattie had…real
love.

Sam stared at
Mavis for a long time. “You offer me a lot, Mavis, and it is
tempting, but I gave my word. And I don’t go back on it.” Then he
looked over at Riley. “He’s just a kid. That’s why. He needs help.
They practically stole the place out from under him, and it’s his
place. He needs to learn to fight for what is his, that’s all. I’m
tryin’ to show him how. It ain’t right for them to just steal it
out from under him.”

“
And you’re going to teach him? What are you gonna get out of
this? Nothing! That’s what!” Mavis said flatly. “You ain’t his
daddy. Why do you care what happens to him? It’s a waste of time.
And he won’t appreciate it. I’m offering you so much more, can’t
you see that? You could run my sister’s farm, we could be a family.
I have so much more to offer than that silly white kid. You gotta
admit I sure could keep your bed warm. We could be together all the
time, make love, have kids. I wouldn’t even expect you to work too
hard. Why, sometimes me and my husband would lay up in bed all day,
just so he could kiss me and touch me and make love with me. He
loved my body.”

Yeah, but did he love you
, Mavis?

“
Mavis, you are a fine woman. And a fine figure of a woman. But
I sense that you still love your husband. There just ain’t no fire
when we touch. You can’t help that, neither can I,” Sam
admitted.

“
You’re a fool…” she mouthed and walked away. “Fire! You could
have me, all of me, ain’t it enough? Look at me! I’m a fine figure
of a woman, just like you said. You could feel me up anytime you
wanted, I wouldn’t care. I told you how much I enjoy it. I’ve
shared my deepest secrets with you, offered you all I have. What
more can I do?” She turned to face him once more. “Fire, you sound
like a crazy man. Fire, who needs fire? Life ain’t about fire, Sam.
It’s about scratchin’ out a livin’ in this God forsaken land,
havin’ younins’ and makin’ it. But I’ve offered you everything I
have. You must be nine kinds of fool.”

The kids had
gone to fetch water once more and given them some time alone, time
Tate had said they needed. Riley nodded numbly and followed
him.

“
Look Mavis, I’m afraid you loved your husband and trying to
replace him with the first fella that comes along ain’t gonna work.
It ain’t fair to the man, Mavis. You obviously had something
between you,” Sam informed her as he poured himself a cup of
coffee. “And to tell the truth, that’s as it should be. But just
because I’m a Negro man, and you’re a Negro woman don’t mean we can
team up and marry. I wouldn’t cheat you, nor myself.”

“‘
Course I loved him,” she snapped with a tear in her eye. “He
was my man. He loved me, all of me. I’m loyal as I can be. And I
can’t forget him no matter how hard I try. He was lazy and no
account, but when we made love I forgot all those things about him.
He tried to defend us the best he could. He helped me bring those
kids into the world. He was a good man. But I’d still let you have
your way as often as you pleased. I’d stay in the bed if you wanted
me there. I’d kiss you mornin’, noon and night. We could make love
all you wanted. I’m offerin’ you that. All of me. And in time I’m
sure I’d learn to love you.”

“
But you don’t love me…”

“
I
could learn to. Takes time sometimes,” Mavis cried. Then glancing
at him, she firmed her lips. “A man talkin’ about love. I don’t
believe it. There’s someone else somewhere for ya, isn’t
there?”

“
I
don’t know about that, but there just ain’t nothin’ between you and
me. And believe me, I wish there was. I really do. But I can’t lie
to myself. Besides, there’s nothing in your kisses, Mavis. It’s
like you died with him. There’s just no fire. And I sure tried to
light one.”

Mavis looked
down now, not facing him. “I guess you’re right. I don’t like that
you’re right, but I guess you are. ‘Cause I just know you’d be so
gentle with me. And a woman wants gentle as she gets older. But
Sam, I know you are a good man. Or you wouldn’t be helping that
poor white kid. I could learn to love you…someday. And in the
meantime I could give you what you need. All of what you need, Sam.
You should think on that. You know that. I got a set of breasts you
could lay your head on every night and I know you’d enjoy that. I
seen you lookin’ at me, from the moment you met me you been
lookin’. I take care of myself; I’m a right good lookin’ woman,
Sam. You couldn’t do much better.”

Sam shook his
head. “I would enjoy it, Mavis. Just thinkin’ on it is somethin’.
But, it ain’t enough. Not for me. I want it all, Mavis. Love and
family. I don’t want a woman who will learn to love me, I want one
who does. I want her to feel for me, like I feel for
her.”

“
I’ll give you my body now if you stay, ain’t that enough? It
sure would be for most men I’ve known. You can have me anytime you
want. We don’t even have to get married if you don’t want. I got a
fine body ‘neath these clothes and I think you’ve noticed that,
already. I seen you lookin’ at me. Why…I’d pull the wagon over and
make love all day if you wanted me to. Even in front of these kids.
They knows all about that. Just help me bring up them kids and make
a few more along the way. Maybe after we made a kid, you’d want to
stay with me. Maybe I could love you then…”

Sam looked
away. “I guess I should appreciate that kind of offer, and as
lonely as it gets, that’s a tempting offer to have a woman any time
I want. But I want more than that. I want a woman’s heart and soul.
And Mavis…if I had that, even one time would be enough.”

Sam shook his
head again, and smiled coming up to her, his hand going to her
cheek now where a single tear rolled down. “When a man takes a
woman, he wants to know she feels somethin’ for him. And cold
kisses don’t make up for warm hearts. It wouldn’t work with you and
me, Mavis, and I think deep down you know that.”

Mavis stared
at him. “I guess you’re right. People can’t fall in love that
easily, can they? Although I am trying, for my kid’s sake. They
need a daddy, and in this unforgiving land a man to take care of
them. I’d do just about anything for that.”

Sam squirmed
for he’d been asking that same question for himself. “Yeah, but it
ain’t a thing you can force, Mavis, remember that. Any man that
comes along isn’t good enough. He’s got to be for you.”

“
You’re right, I guess you can’t. I did try, but I guess it was
too soon…But runnin’ off with that white kid, helpin’ him. What
good does that do ya? I don’t understand that at all. Let some
white man help him.”