Astra (4 page)

But of late, there had been many extra expenses that her cousin Miriam considered necessities and had insisted upon since she was living with them. Things like visits to the beauty parlor and the continual purchasing of fashionable high-priced garments, many evening frocks, and even a new fur coat when her old one was still perfectly good. Her allowance was growing more and more inadequate to meet the requirements, and she scarcely had enough to buy little things for herself that she really wanted, like books and tickets to hear fine music. She was reluctant to spend her money on a multiplicity of garments which her cousin Clytie wore oftener than she did herself, especially the fur coat and the evening dresses. In fact, Clytie had borrowed the fur coat and several of the evening dresses to take to California with her.

Before he left her, her father had said, “Of course, your natural home after I am gone would be with your mother’s niece Miriam, I suppose, if she is still living and wants you. But I have never quite trusted her husband Marmaduke’s judgment in financial matters, and that is why I am explaining your financial affairs to you carefully, even though you are so young and the days when you will come into your property are so comparatively far away. Of course, Cousin Duke may be all right. I haven’t known him long, you know, but I have an instinctive distrust of his business methods and his standards of right and wrong, so I want you to be able to handle your own affairs yourself, with advice from Mr. Sargent, who will be in charge of your affairs and be a real guardian to you. I don’t want you to have to be dependent upon Duke’s advice or assistance in any way. I think you will always find Mr. Sargent ready to help.

“Also I have made ample provision that you may be able to pay a reasonable sum for your board wherever you stay after I am gone.”

The time had come all too soon, and, almost in a daze, she had let Miriam and Duke take her back with them to their home.

As she thought over these things, her father’s words, which had been almost forgotten, seemed clearly voiced in her ears again. She began to feel that she had been very wrong and careless to let her affairs go in such a slipshod manner since going to live with her cousins. She had spent far too much on showy apparel that she seldom used. Cousin Duke had been kind, of course, and she had almost come to feel that if her father were here now he would change his ideas about him. He had been almost more kind and helpful to her than her cousin Miriam. Yet now she realized that he had been the one who had encouraged Miriam to buy expensive garments, to join clubs and dress in a showy way, and on several occasions he had told Astra that as she lived with them, she must dress accordingly. He didn’t want people to think she had to scrimp in her wardrobe. He said it wouldn’t be good for his business to have people think that.

There was another thing that had greatly troubled Astra, and that had been the constant differences of opinion between herself and her young cousin Clytie, which also brought on differences of opinion between herself and Miriam.

Clytie Lester was three years younger than Astra, but old for her years and badly spoiled. Whatever she had wanted all her life had been given her by her parents if they could possibly manage it, and she had wanted a great many things. When it was not possible for her parents to get what she wanted, Clytie had ways of getting things for herself, and one of those ways of late had been to borrow money of Astra.

As time went on, a good many of things Clytie wanted were not things that Astra considered right, and therefore Astra’s problem about lending money to her young cousin had been growing more and more complicated, and her conscience was more and more harassed about what she ought to do. She did not wish to inform upon Clytie. It was not her idea of good ethics. But Clytie was constantly putting her into situations where it was either necessary to do so, or else to actually lie about things when she was questioned.

Cousin Miriam was not gentle, unworldly, and conscientious, as Astra remembered her own mother to have been. She was pretty and flighty, and rather inclined to be worldly and have easy standards of living. But she was very strict with regard to certain forms and ceremonies, and her ideas of what Clytie should or should not do were not at all Clytie’s ideas. It followed, therefore, that Clytie did many things in direct disobedience to her mother’s commands and got away with it in the main, often from behind the screen of an unwilling Astra.

“Now Clytie,” her mother would say, “I want you to go straight to the library and get those books you say you have to have for your schoolwork and come right home! I don’t want you lingering to talk with anyone or to take a walk or anything. I want you at home inside of an hour to try on the dresses that the dressmaker has been altering. Astra, you walk down with her and see that she gets back on time. Just remind her, won’t you?”

Clytie would frown behind her mother’s back and make a mouth of annoyance at Astra, but Miriam would see that Astra went.

Always Clytie had her plans, as Astra had known she would have, and instead of going to the library herself to pick out her books, she would send Astra in, telling her she simply couldn’t stay in the house, she had such a bad headache and needed a bit of air.

“I’ll meet you right here on the step, Astra,” she would say, and settle down serenely on the bench beside the door. So Astra would go. For Clytie was well versed in ways to make her suffer for it if she didn’t. Clytie knew how to create a scene at the dinner table afterward and show how unaccommodating her cousin had been, when she had “such a blazing headache,” and Astra would be left to bear the disapproval of both mother and father while poor Clytie would be pitied and petted. So Astra often did things which her conscience did not approve. It seemed the only way.

And when she would come out from the library with her arms full of books Clytie had ordered, there would be no Clytie sitting on the bench; neither was she to be seen either up or down the street.

Astra would settle down at last, knowing full well that all this had been planned for her undoing. She knew that Miriam would blame her if Clytie was not back at the proper time. Nearly two years’ experience had taught her this only too well. It was a little thing perhaps, but she would be filled with vexation as she watched anxiously, meantime glancing at her watch. An hour would have gone by since she left Clytie on the bench and Astra would start to wonder. Was it conceivable that Clytie had grown weary of waiting and gone back home without her? Should she dare go to the telephone and call the house to see? But if Clytie was not yet home, what kind of a storm would that raise? She could well conceive the light in which she herself would be placed.

So she would worry along for another fifteen minutes, and then just as she rose with her armful of books to go and telephone, she would sight Clytie’s coronet of pink roses which she called a hat, tilted over her right eye, as she sauntered leisurely down the street surrounded by three young men! That was just about what she had always to expect of Clytie. It had happened too many times. And there was nothing for Astra to do but turn and follow the hilarious young gang down the street like a humble minion till they reached the corner where Clytie always parted with what her mother considered “undesirable escorts,” and hastened on home.

“Clytie, where in the world have you been?” her mother would ask. “It is two hours since you left the house, and I told you to come right back! What on earth have you been doing all this time?”

“Why, Mother dear, I hurried just as fast as I possibly could,” Clytie would respond. “Didn’t I, Astra? You know, Mother, it takes the
longest
time to get waited on in that library. I simply
implored
that woman to wait on me at once, but she said she couldn’t show preference, and there was a long, long line of people waiting for books. Schoolchildren, you know, and all that.”

And then her mother would say, “Clytie! That’s perfect nonsense! What were you doing? Who were you talking to in the library?”

“Not a soul, Mother dear,” Clytie would chirp blithely. “Was I, Astra?”

Cousin Miriam’s quick glance would give a passing search to Astra’s face as she turned away to lay the books down on the table and then look back at Clytie.

“Now look here, Clytie, you must have been doing something more than just getting books! With whom did you walk up the street and talk?”

“Not a soul, Mother. I didn’t meet anyone I knew at all this afternoon. Did I, Astra?”

But for once, this last time it had happened, Astra had escaped up to her room before an inquisition, though she still had a faint fear that it all might be brought up again later, in a full family conclave, and she be made to tell all she knew of the afternoon. The trouble was that Astra had been taught not to lie, even when she was in an unpleasant situation, and they all knew it. They knew that when she admitted a thing it was so, and there was no disputing it. But they also had their ways of punishing her for it if the truth put the adored Clytie in an unpleasant light in her parents’ eyes. For often, when Astra had been forced to tell the truth about some ill-advised action of Clytie’s, it was Astra who was treated as if she were the offender, and Clytie got off scot-free.

So the days had been going by, each one a problem in itself, and Astra had been growing heartsick and sad.

Moreover Clytie’s borrowing habit had increased lately, until it had come about that there was scarcely enough in Astra’s allowance check after board was paid and Clytie had dipped into it to cover Astra’s actual needs in the way of clothing, stationery, and so forth.

Astra had worried a lot about this, for she felt guilty letting it go on without the knowledge of Clytie’s parents, and yet if she told them there would be a terrible row, and she would inevitably be accused of being stingy. So clever was Clytie that she knew just how to work it this way without having the situation reflect in the least upon herself. Astra had prayed about it and come to the conclusion that she must not let this go on, no matter what might happen to herself.

And so, when it was arranged that the Lesters were to go to California to visit Duke’s mother and father and to attend a cousin’s wedding—a cousin who was not related to Astra—and she was to be left at home, she decided the time had come for her to think this thing through by herself and work it out somehow so that life would be livable and she need not feel continually condemned.

Then the very day before the Lesters started, Astra’s check arrived. Astra cashed it at once, because she wished to pay her board before they left. After that was done, she put the remainder in a safe place, a
new
place, where she had not kept money before. A little carved wooden box with a spring lock. She put the box carefully away among her least-used garments in her lower bureau drawer and locked the drawer, putting the key on a ribbon around her neck.

She wasn’t just sure why she did all this, but of late she had a suspicion that Clytie did not hesitate to go to her purse if she were in need of a trifle. Yet she had no proof of that, and she felt almost condemned for locking that drawer.

But locks meant nothing at all to Clytie. Nothing indeed was sacred when Clytie wanted something.

Clytie came to her as usual. She spoke nonchalantly, as if she were somehow conferring a favor on Astra.

“How about a little loan, Astra darling?” she said. “And could you make it a little larger than usual? I spent more than I meant to on that wedding gift, and I’m afraid I’m going to run short before I get back.”

Astra was ready for her this time, however. She looked up pleasantly from the letter she was writing and gave Clytie a faint smile.

“Sorry, Clytie, but I can’t possibly spare anything this time. I’m getting some new clothes, and I have a few plans I want to carry out while you are away. Besides, I’ll be entirely on my own and have no one to borrow from, so I have to be economical. You haven’t paid me back yet what you owe me, you know.”

“Why, the ridiculous idea!” sneered Clytie. “Why should I pay you back those little trifles when you’re living here in our house, just making a convenience of us? You haven’t any expenses, you know you haven’t. And anyway, you can charge new clothes. You know Mother always says you can. Besides, you don’t need any new clothes while we are away. There’ll be nobody here. What would you want new clothes for? And you never go to parties.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Clytie, but I really can’t let you have any money this time. Why don’t you ask your father for some? I think that would be better, don’t you? I can’t always spare it. And Clytie, I always pay my board, you know. My father arranged for that, and this time I paid for the time you are to be away. So I haven’t as much as usual. No, really, I mean it. I can’t spare even a dollar.”

Clytie, with her most unamiable expression, stared in affront at her cousin.

“Well, I think you are the most unaccommodating—”

And just then Clytie’s mother called.

“Clytie, why don’t you come? I’m waiting for you to measure this skirt. Hurry!”

Clytie turned away hurriedly and murmured in a fierce anger, “Well, I’ll see that you’re good and sorry for this!” Slamming the door, she hurried down the stairs.

It was a busy day, and Astra had little time to think about her money. There were so many little last things that Cousin Miriam wanted done. There were hems to be shortened, collars to be washed out, stockings to mend. The items seemed endless, and Astra took them all up to her room to do, out of the hurry and turmoil of downstairs. There was no chance for Clytie to annoy her, for Clytie was sent on several errands herself, and as usual, did not return soon.

Astra sat up very late finishing the mending for Miriam, and all day she had kept an eye on the third-story stairs which led to her room; she was sure Clytie had had no chance to get up there without being seen.

For Clytie had a way of mauling over Astra’s ribbons and collars and gloves, and calmly appropriating anything that was to her liking, and it wasn’t in the least unlikely that she would attempt such a raid at the last minute. So Astra lay down to sleep the night before they left with relief, knowing that nothing had been attempted that night at least, and there would be very little time for anything of the sort in the morning.