At Knit's End (7 page)

 

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes
that everything is an emergency.
Nothing is that important.

— N
ATALIE
G
OLDBERG

3
ways to tell that knitting deadlines are getting to you:

You are knitting the gift for the birthday girl on the way to the party.

You have decided that replacing sleep with knitting just makes sense.

You have calculated the number of stitches remaining in the project and think that it's “pretty normal” that you are counting down.

 

What difference does it make how much
you have? What you do not have
amounts to much more.

— S
ENECA

T
he world is full of knitters who are driven to collect yarn by an inner voice that tells them there will never be enough. They have more yarn than they could ever use in a lifetime, even if they quit their jobs and knit full-time until they died. The world is full of nonknitters who think this is odd.

I will remember, when challenged by a non-knitter who has concerns about my yarn stash, that no one ever said, “Hey, Michelangelo, don't you think you're getting carried away with this paint thing?”

 

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.

— E
RMA
B
OMBECK

F
or years my husband showed no interest in my knitting. In fact, the overwhelming presence of yarn seemed to bug him. Then I began knitting him dress socks.

If your mate doesn't understand your knitting habit, then maybe he hasn't been properly bribed yet.

 

We cannot command Nature
except by obeying her.

— F
RANCIS
B
ACON

S
o the rumors were true; there it was, sitting innocently on the shelf. Yarn made from corn. Called “Ingeo,” the yarn is made from the starches and sugars of corn and converted to a natural resin that is spun into yarn. The resulting fiber is biodegradable and can be composted to return the nutrients to the soil. It is soft, lovely, and a completely renewable resource.

Although I embrace fiber technologies that protect the Earth, I will remember that wearing an Ingeo tank top to a goat farm might have disastrous results.

 

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes,
one of his great surprises, is to find he can
do what he was afraid he couldn't do.

— H
ENRY
F
ORD

I
was surprised to discover that there are timid knitters — knitters who are afraid to do lace, afraid to do cables, afraid of making a mistake or taking on a big project. I was shocked. Afraid? Be afraid of skydiving. Be afraid of wild boar. Be fearless with knitting.

I will remember that no one has ever been killed or maimed by being adventurous with knitting, no matter how pointy the needles.

 

Progress might have been all right once,
but it has gone on too long.

— O
GDEN
N
ASH

I
f you hunt around, you will find yarns made of some pretty strange stuff. The one that boggles my mind most is the superfine yarn made from stainless steel. Combined with other fibers, such as wool, cotton, and linen, it's more approachable than you would think.

As much as I will try to accept progress and things such as stainless-steel yarn, I still find it remarkable that after I knit a sweater I could whip into the kitchen and shine my pots with it.

 

You know you
knit too much when …

You put your computer
keyboard on the floor while
reading your daily e-mails
so you can hit the spacebar
with your toe to scroll
through them while knitting.

 

To win without risk is to triumph
without glory.

— P
IERRE
C
ORNEILLE

F
aced with a major knitting mistake, such as a miscrossed cable, I have three basic choices. I could ignore it; pull the work back and re-knit it; or go wild, drop the offending stitches, and painstakingly spend hours with a crochet hook tediously fixing just those few. Knitting is not necessarily the most daring of hobbies, certainly not compared to eating fire or something like that, but those of us who need thrills in our lives and have a bit of a competitive edge embrace these chances to really go out on a limb.

It's not necessarily the smart thing to do, but there's really nothing like conceiving and executing an insane feat of repair and having it work.

 

People want economy and they will pay
any price to get it.

— L
EE
I
ACOCCA

W
hen I took up spinning, my husband worried that it was just going to devolve into another addiction. To make him feel a little better I pointed out how much money I was going to save spinning my own yarn. Then I bought a spinning wheel, carders, fleece, and dye.

I will remember that timing is everything, and I might have wanted to make my point sometime after I had spent all that money getting set up and spinning a $500 skein of lumpy yarn.

 

Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.

— J
OHN
K
ENNETH
G
ALBRAITH

T
he knitting magazine had a very beautiful sweater, creatively worked with an openwork mesh stitch. I wanted it badly and planned to make it, until I had a rare flash of insight and realized that a woman who manages to find her bra only for “special occasions” might not really be all that suited to a mesh sweater.

Knitter, know thyself.

 

It sometimes happens, even in the best
of families, that a baby is born.
This is not necessarily cause for alarm.
The important thing is to keep your wits
about you and borrow some money.

— E
LINOR
G
OULDING
S
MITH

W
hen knitting for babies, remember that they have surprisingly large heads. For neckholes in sweaters, I suggest that you follow this rule. First, make the neckline twice the size that seems reasonable to you. Then add a slit and buttons … then prepare to be disappointed that the baby grew since you last checked the size.

I will remember that it is the cautious, and quick, knitter who makes stuff for babies.

 

Honest criticism is hard to take,
particularly from a relative, a friend,
an acquaintance, or a stranger.

— F
RANKLIN
P. J
ONES

T
here is one knitter in my guild who is a wonder. Her work is always incredible, her stitches even, her sense of color perfection. She gives workshops and people line up to get in, anxious to elevate their knitting to her level. At one workshop she was explaining that we should all strive for absolutely even stitches. Your work, properly done, should look like it was machine knit. The knitter next to me heaved a sigh and quietly muttered, “Honestly, why wouldn't I just get a knitting machine?”

Knitting is a human activity. It's okay if it looks like a human did it.

 

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do
anything else at the same time.

— M. S
COTT
P
ECK

P
eople who knit have long been trying to convince people who don't that they can knit and listen at the same time. Studies have shown that people often show increased focus and even demonstrate greater recollection while knitting.

Conversely, with some people, knitting is the only thing that gets us through listening to them.

 

Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.

— S
T
. A
UGUSTINE

T
here is a longstanding joke in our family about what it would take to keep me from knitting. I have knit through illness, disaster, injury, and labor.

When I was expecting my first baby, I asked my midwife when I should call her to come. “When you don't want to knit anymore,” she replied.

My husband thought that would be cutting it pretty close.

In retrospect, I think the midwife should have said, “When you can't keep track of the pattern.”

 

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because
he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same
thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

— A
LFRED
N
ORTH

A
lthough there are few pictures prettier than that of a knitter working happily in his favorite chair, devoted cat by his side, knitters know the truth. The chance that your pet will stay by your side and off your knitting is relative to the pet/project relationship. If you are knitting a brown sweater and own a brown cat, your devoted companion will stand by, but never “on,” your knitting. If, however, you own a black cat and are knitting a white shawl, your cat and the project will be inseparable.

I will try to understand that if I don't bother to coordinate my projects with my pet, my pet will be driven to do it for me.

 

Give no decision till both sides thou'st heard.

— P
HOCYLIDES

K
nitting needles come in different materials. Wood, ebony, metal, plastic … there are many different kinds, and I'm told they all have their uses. I love sharp metal ones, and no one can tell me that there is a point (pun intended) to any other kind. I feel that the slipperiness makes me a faster knitter, and unlike the more fragile wooden ones, I've never broken a metal needle by sitting on it. On the downside, that particular mishap with metal needles can require a tetanus shot.